“Brendan,” Laney said, in a voice that was so low it was almost a whisper. Brendan didn’t answer. Laney looked at him and saw the tears on his cheeks. She felt terrible guilt on top of the humiliation and shame she was already feeling from the episode. “Brendan,” she called again.
Brendan grumbled out a pitiful, “Yeah.”
“Brendan, I’m sorry I ruined your birthday. I’m sorry for everything.”
“Why the hell did you have to turn out to be a liar? Huh? I trusted you, Laney. This is so fucked up. What did I do to deserve all of your lies?” Brendan blasted her.
“Brendan, listen to me. All of the things that he said weren’t true. I don’t want you to think…” She paused. “All of the things he said weren’t true, Brendan.”
“Well damn, Laney, the whole scenario is so damned foul that it doesn’t matter what parts aren’t true,” Brendan snapped. “So what’s not true? You slept with three guys, not four, or did you only get three hundred dollars for doing it?”
“No, Brendan. Just listen.” Laney’s voice began to crack.
“Listen to more of your lies, Laney? I don’t think so.” The car pulled into Laney’s apartment complex. “Don’t you think I have heard enough for one night?”
“Brendan, I just want you to know something. I know that you are really upset right now, but maybe if I just explain…”
He cut her off. “Explain shit, Laney. Laney, you can’t just explain shit like this away. You can’t explain lying to someone for four months. You can’t explain withholding the little fact that you were working as stripper last year in your hometown. And you sure as hell can’t explain letting four guys run a train on you for loot. God, I can’t believe you.” The car stopped in front of her building. “Just get the fuck out.” Brendan couldn’t believe he had said that to her. It felt good, though, and the second time it came instinctively. “Just get the fuck out of my car.”
Laney looked at Brendan. She looked straight into his eyes. She knew that it was his wounded pride and hurt feelings talking and not him. She knew at that minute that Brendan seriously cared for her. She also knew that he would probably never give her a chance to explain. They stared at each other for a second, and as Laney turned to get out of the car she spoke with a sincerity that she knew Brendan would recognize. “I know now that I should have told you everything about my past, but you would probably never have treated me the way that you did.” A tear began to slide from her left eye. “And I deserve to be treated like this. But you know that if I had told you everything up front, there’s no way you would have given me half a chance. I understand that you probably hate me now, but I know that I almost made you love me.” Laney burst into tears, and Brendan’s heart dropped into his lap. Laney went on with tears rolling down her yellow cheeks and snot running out of her nose. “But know this, Brendan. I’m not a bad person. And if you ever change your mind, and you want to listen to what I have to say, call me, okay?” She sniffled, then to Brendan’s surprise she said, “I love you.” Then she was gone up the walkway.
Brendan walked into the house, and there was music blasting from the basement. He almost forgot to turn the alarm on, but then turned back toward the door to arm it. As soon as he pushed the last button two hands were over his eyes.
“Guess who, birthday boy.”
“I don’t know. I give up,” Brendan said, sounding completely uninterested.
The hands came off, and he turned around. It was Gladys. Gladys was one of Renee’s closest girlfriends.
“Hey, Gladys. What’s going on? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Brendan’s tone of voice lightened up. Gladys would never be mistaken for being the cutest girl in the world, but she had a body on her. Brendan loved watching her. Back in the day, before Gladys had gotten married, Brendan used to accompany Gladys and Renee to the Classics nightclub. He never got to first base with her, but she did entertain his flirting from time to time. “So, are you ladies having a good time?”
“Boy, you know we are doing the damn thing.” She laughed out. “You know a Waiting to Exhale kind of thing.”
“I get it. Doing a little male bashing and sipping some wine, right?”
“Not necessarily in that order, but you get the picture. Hey, come help me take this stuff downstairs. Renee is already tipsy, so I came up to get some more wine. Why don’t you just take the whole thing downstairs?” She was referring to the two-gallon box of white zinfandel. “I’ll take the rest of these Tostitos and salsa down. We might even let you stay downstairs and talk with us and give us a male point of view.”
“I don’t know if I should set myself up like that, Gladys.” Brendan laughed.
“Don’t be silly, Brendan. Grab another wine glass and come on.”
Brendan did as he was told and got a move on. When he walked into the basement he saw the other four ladies scattered all over the sitting room like throw pillows. Shoes were off, and the drinks were flowing. It was just like a scene from the movie. Renee was sitting on the floor in front of the couch playing Angela Bassett. Evelyn, her cousin, was lying in front of the fireplace being Whitney Houston. Tanya was doing Loretta Devine on the love seat, with her feet hanging over the edge, and Andrea was on the other couch sitting Indian-style chilling like Lela Rochon. Brendan headed for the empty leather chair as he was greeted with “hellos” from everyone. Gladys announced that she had asked him to join as a representative of the lesser sex. Tanya was the only one who protested his crashing their party. Everyone else thought it was a good idea.
When Renee asked him why he was home so early from dinner, he made up something about Laney getting sick.
“That’s too bad,” Renee said.
“Yeah, but don’t worry. We’ll take care of you, Brendan,” Evelyn said.
“Yeah, I wish,” Brendan said, in a tone that left no doubt what he meant by it.
“Now, you see,” Tanya shouted. Brendan came to the quick deduction that Tanya had drunk the most wine. “That is just what we’re talking about. The only thing on a man’s mind is sex.”
“No,” said Brendan. “It is the prominent thing, but not the only thing.”
“Whatever. That is all a man can think about,” Tanya stated.
“Brendan, is that true?” Gladys asked. “It can’t be. Because my husband thinks about every damned thing but sex.”
“No, some men have much more on their mind than sex,” Renee answered. “I know for a fact that Brendan isn’t like that. We have been close for…for forever, and he has never ever tried to make a move. Isn’t that right, Brendan?”
She was actually wrong. Brendan had in fact tried to put a move on Renee. It was the night of their senior prom. His parents had paid for a hotel room for him, and when Renee’s parents told them that they wouldn’t wait up, they eventually found themselves at the Holiday Inn. Naturally, Brendan tried his luck, unsuccessfully though, and they both had erased it from their memories. After that night the two never found themselves in a compromising position again.
Brendan immediately remembered his prom night attempt, but mentally swept it under the rug and replied, “Yep, you know it.”
Evelyn, who was now standing and refilling her wine glass said, “I don’t care if a man wants sex. Hell, I want sex, too. But he’s not getting it for free.”
“Now you know that sounds a bit like a hooker,” responded Andrea. “I don’t care about how much a man spends. I have to connect with him on a deeper level. If he spends thousands on gifts and trips, or if he spends ten dollars in Blockbuster and on some KFC, it doesn’t matter. If I’m not feeling him, I’m just not.”
Gladys smacked her lips. “Bitch, you know good and well that you haven’t ever had a brother spend nowhere near a thousand dollars on you and you refused to drop your drawers.” Everyone laughed, including Brendan.
Trying to save face, Andrea asked Renee, “Renee, tell her about Weldon Jackson. Just tell her.”
“You mean the guy who owned the mattress comp
any?” Renee asked.
“Yeah. But actually, his father owned the company. The mattress kings, they called themselves.”
“You did tell me he spent quite a bit of money trying to win you over.” Renee cosigned for Andrea.
Andrea, regaining her confidence since Gladys’s remark, went on. “Yeah. That fool spent so much money trying to impress me it turned me off. Fancy restaurants and shows are nice. Sometimes, though, a sistah just wants a brother to keep it real.”
“What you mean, keep it real girl?” Tanya asked. “I know you aren’t saying keep it cheap.”
“No, not at all,” Andrea said. “Let me break it down for ya. All I am saying is, I just don’t need a brother trying to floss all the time or trying to buy my affections. I know I told you about the time this fool Weldon calls me from out of town. He was at some convention in Illinois, and he tells me to stay home this particular Saturday morning because he had a surprise coming for me.” She paused long enough to sip her wine, all the while remaining seated Indian-style. “I have to say, I was shocked.”
“Why is that?” Renee asked.
“Well, by this time I had sent him enough signals to let the nigga know that I wasn’t really interested in him, but he wouldn’t give up. So I tell him I don’t want anymore gifts, but he insisted that it hadn’t cost him a thing and to please accept it. Well, about an hour after we get off the phone, a knock comes at my door. When I get it, I see that Weldon has had a king-sized bed with a canopy frame delivered.”
“Are you serious, Andrea?” Tanya asked.
“Hell, yeah. Ask Renee. She’s seen it.”
“Did you keep it?” Brendan asked.
Everyone looked at Brendan as if he had just gotten off the short yellow school bus.
Without answering Brendan, Andrea laughed out, “The trip part about it was that one of the guys who delivered the bed was a fine-looking brother. He was slim, but had muscles, and the cutest baby face and dimples. Turned out that he was working his way through college. He was so polite. He even offered to come back after he got off work to help me put the frame together. When he came back he was showered, clean, and in a pair of jeans and a wife-beater that made him look so sexy. You see, I was feeling him.”
“Let me guess,” Brendan said. “It was him who got to christen the mattress with you and not the guy who sent it to you.”
“Yes, but not that night. I made him wait, of course, but the point is that the money isn’t the major factor. Weldon is probably a millionaire, and here is a guy who is delivering mattresses for him. Rashad, the delivery guy, is able to have a woman that Weldon couldn’t get no matter how much money he spent or had.”
Brendan nodded his head, and said, “That still sucks. You still played games. To hell with your signals. You should have just come right out and told him that you weren’t interested in him. He could have spent his time and money on someone who would have panned out for him.” Brendan was now sipping his second glass of wine.
Tanya joined in. “He got to enjoy her company on quite a few occasions. Why isn’t that enough? How come if a man doesn’t get sex from a woman, it’s a waste of time for him to spend time with her?”
Brendan shot back with a finger pointing to emphasize how strongly he felt. “How come women think that men just want to spend time with them for no reason at all? It’s like women think that we have nothing else that we could be doing.” He paused. “I don’t mean doing like that. I mean, shit, what do I mean?” Brendan said out loud. “I mean, women should realize that men don’t take women out and spend time with them if they aren’t interested in them or attracted to them. We’re not after company or to just be buddies. Chances are, if a man is over twenty-three, twenty-four, he already has enough platonic female friends to last a lifetime. A new telephone buddy is probably the last thing he’s after. The fact of the matter is that he’s probably looking for someone special to share his life with, maybe even to marry, and at the very least have a physical encounter with. But it always seems that sisters are always to go out with anyone as long as he’s treating.”
“Brendan, what’s wrong with that?” Gladys asked.
“Yeah, why shouldn’t a sister accept a meal? It’s not like it’s diamonds or something,” Evelyn added.
“The same reason that women don’t like when men want or expect something in return for that meal.”
“Well, Brendan, I see your point. If a woman repeatedly accepts things from a man whom she has no real interest in, or sees no potential for growth in the relationship. But what about when two people are just getting to know each other?” Renee asked.
“Well, that is a little different. A man should be a gentleman, of course, and I would think that most men wouldn’t mind taking a woman out a few times, his treat. But if she isn’t showing interst then he should ask her what’s up. If things don’t seem to be going in the direction he wants, then he should move on. I mean really, it shouldn’t be too much to expect a sister to be up front with him.” Brendan put his feet up on the coffee table and finished his statement before anyone had a chance to interrupt. “After all, if she isn’t interested in him, it’s not like she’s not going to all of a sudden start calling him up, and paying his way to dinner and movies. So why should she let him keep trying and wasting his time and money?”
“Well, you know, Brendan, I really never thought about it quite like that. I do let a lot of guys take me out even though they really aren’t my type,” Evelyn said.
“Yeah, sometimes I do, too. But I think it’s because I’m just giving them a chance to grow on me,” Renee said, laughing.
The system was pumping the new Tweet CD. Everyone’s eyes were showing the effects of sipping wine. Even Andrea, who was supposedly the designated driver, was beyond tipsy. As the clock moved toward 1:00 A.M., the conversation wound down. Tanya had dozed off right in the chair and started snoring, Evelyn was on her cell making a booty call, and the conversation was now among Gladys, Brendan, and Andrea. Renee had gone upstairs to clean the dishes, and was making a pot of coffee. By the time she had come back downstairs, Gladys had come right out and admitted that after only three years of marriage, she was having an affair. She had told them it was because her husband was boring and didn’t have the fire that he used to have. She also said he didn’t pay her the same attention that he had before they were married.
When Brendan asked her if she had ever tried talking to her husband and letting him know how serious things had gotten, she replied, “Kind of.”
“What do you mean, kind of?” Brendan asked. Andrea’s eyebrows were raised, as she was totally shocked.
“Well, I’ve tried to talk to him before, but he’s always too tired or too busy working,” Gladys said.
Andrea smirked, “Well, isn’t he working two jobs, girl?”
“Yeah, to pay off Gladys’s student loans, credit cards, and for that house that she couldn’t wait to have,” Renee added, as she reappeared with the coffee.
“You see,” Brendan said. “If you let the ladies tell it, the men are the dogs. Now if that isn’t the coldest shit I’ve heard. This brother is working at the Navy yard and at UPS, breaking his back so that you don’t have to stress over money. Look at how you repay him. Instead of letting him come home to a hot bath and dinner on the table, you’ve got him coming home to a piece of used you-know-what.”
“Brendan,” Renee said loudly.
Gladys just sat there with a stupid look on her face. At that moment she was wishing she hadn’t dragged Brendan down the stairs to join them. But she knew he was right.
“Hey, Gladys, I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but I just think that’s wrong. But it’s your life.” Trying to smooth things over, he added, “I probably don’t know the whole story.”
It didn’t work. Gladys couldn’t believe that sweet old Brendan had come down on her like that. She sat there and rolled her eyes. Brendan said goodnight to the ladies and made a quick exit while they sipped coffee.
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As he made his way up the steps, Evelyn commented on how good Brendan was looking these days. Andrea added that she hadn’t remembered Brendan being so outspoken and sure of himself. She said, “It’s kind of sexy, a man who you can talk to like that. You know…about real things. A handsome brother like Brendan, too. He looks like he’s been in the gym.” She turned to Renee as she placed her empty mug on the table. “You got it good, girl. You have a good one living right under your roof.”
“C’mon. You all know it’s not like that with us.”
“Whatever, child. Then you need to be seriously considering making it like that,” Evelyn said, as she slapped Andrea five.
“You two are a damned trip.” Renee was a little embarrassed. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had always recognized that Brendan was attractive, even before he had lost the weight. But the thought of anything ever sparking a fire between the two of them seemed such a far-off possibility that she had definitely brushed off the notion.
Before I Let Go Page 18
