But today was my lucky day. For the first time in years, I’d made it all the way through an airport and onto a plane without being recognized by anyone. And either the flight attendant was being extremely polite or she didn’t have the slightest clue who I was because she hadn’t so much as glanced in my direction. I found my seat in the first row and positioned myself by the window. The flight time was five hours.
Five hours. My insides felt too hollow number.
I gritted my teeth.Only five more hours and you’ll be home,I repeated in my mind.You’ll survive. You can sleep in your own bed tonight.It had been months since I’d done that.You’ll pick up Holly from Mrs. Stone and you’ll have one week almost resembling a normal life before the madness sets in again. Thanksgiving was this Thursday. I just wanted a chance to breathe before Mom flew in and my next project began.
The plane taxied then took off. Reclining my seat, I settled in for an uneventful flight.
Or so I thought.
Not one minute after the captain turned off the seatbelt sign, the short-haired brunette I’d already noticed twice this morning—once at security and once purchasing a shit ton of muffins—bounced up the aisle. Maybe eating all those muffins gave her a sugar rush because nobody should be as alert as she was this early in the morning.
The flight attendant, moving from her jump-seat, intercepted the girl. She blocked her path with her petite body. “Can I help you, miss?”
“Um, hi,” the short-haired girl, almost as petite as the flight attendant, said. “I have to pee and some old man is in the bathroom at the back of the plane. He seems like the type who would be in there a while—if you know what I mean. Seriously, I saw him drink a giant coffee and eat a Fiber One cereal bar. Do you get what I’m saying? So would it be okay if I used that one?” She nodded toward the bathroom at the front of the plane, the one adjacent to the galley, the one the flight attendant seemed to be guarding with her life. “I’ll be super-fast,” the girl added. “Promise.”
Miss Flight Attendant crossed her arms over her chest and made a big show of not moving to let the girl pass. “Sorry, honey, this is the first class bathroom. It’s supposed to be for first class passengers only. Please return to your seat and wait for the other bathroom. Oh, and close the curtain on your way back.”
Ouch.
But the girl in the black Converse sneakers, jeans, and a hoodie similar to my own did not budge. “I really have to go,” she said, her sweet voice calm but firm. “Would you rather me piss myself and write a complaint letter?” She glanced down at the women’s name tag purposefully. “Sherrie?”
“Please do not use profanity with me, miss. I need you to return to your seat. Now. There is an air marshal on this flight and I would hate to get him involved in this conversation.”
“Me too. Since it’s none of his business if I have to piss or not.”
“Please, once again, stop using profanity.”
“I’m not using profanity.” Then she mumbled under her breath, “Is ‘piss’ profanity? I’m going to have to ask Noah. He’s an expert on profanity.” She said this, while Sherrie the Flight Attendant looked as if she’d been slapped every time the p-word was used. If I wasn’t as tired as I was then this would be hilarious. But I was too exhausted to listen to them argue about piss.
I guess I was going to have to get involved. I let out a long, loud sigh. The noise caused both women to stop and glance in my direction. “Look,” I said, my eyes on Sherrie. “I’m the only person in first class. I don’t need a bathroom just for me. Let her use thefucking bathroom so we can all have a peaceful flight.”
I spoke as softly as possible, despite my harsh words, but dropping the f-bomb still caused Sherrie to flinch.
There. How was that for profanity?
“Please,” the girl added, all smiles. She knew she was about to win this argument.
“Fine,” Sherrie the Flight Attendant groaned. She stepped aside into the galley, while the girl rushed past her for the bathroom door. But before she could disappear, she glanced in my direction. “My bladder thanks you, Nate West,” she announced, bowing her head, and stepping inside.
Oh hell. My cover was blown.
Somehow I knew this girl wasn’t going to come out of that bathroom and casually return to her seat. Somehow I knew she was the type to bug the crap out of a person. Somehow I knew she was going to want my picture or autograph or both. And somehow that didn’t bother me as much as it normally would have. Not this time.
Sherrie returned to take my drink order, offer me a meal, and then see if I needed anything else. I didn’t need or want anything. And if she’d overheard Bathroom Girl say my name, then she was doing a very good job of not reacting to it. Once she finished all attempts to help me, she disappeared down the aisle and past the curtain, leaving me completely alone at the front of the plane.
I urged myself to put on my headphones and go to sleep, but the honest to God truth was…my heart was racing right out of my chest. It thumped in anticipation of Bathroom Girl’s return. It thumped because this bathroom-invading, muffin-loving, spunky-as-hell, tom-boy—yes, she was dressed more like a boy than a girl—had been captivating me all morning. Something about her drew my attention. And nobody. Fucking. Ever. Drew my attention. Not in a long time, not since Kelly. So this wasn’t something I wanted to ignore.
The door clicked open. She softly closed it behind her and then started walking in my direction—or perhaps back toward her seat in coach. Either way, I couldn’t disconnect my eyes from her eyes. Because as she drew closer, I noticed that she had the most amazing blue eyes that I’d ever seen. They screamed with life and energy. And paired with her dark hair, dark lashes, and creamy white skin—she made everything become clear.
I had to have her.
She was exactly what I needed. For far too long I’d felt numb inside—like I’d been stuck in quicksand up the knees. Since my breakup with Kelly, I’d been looking for something that could make me feel better again. Maybe this girl could be the temporary fix I needed. It was worth a shot. Besides, I had nothing better going on at the moment.
Quick as ever, I discarded my hat and sunglasses onto the floor. “Hey,” I said before she could walk past me.So she hadn’t been about to ask for my autograph or to take a selfie with me? What? “Um, hey,” I said again, a little louder, clearing my throat.
She stopped walking. “Um, hey,” she repeated. “I can’t believe Nate West is on my airplane. No freaking way, right? It’s surreal. Thanks for helping me out back there, man. I thought most celebrities were assholes. Not the case at all with you. Seriously, that was awesome. Well…Sherrie the flight attendant might not agree, but I appreciated you sticking up for me.”
I laughed. She was blunt and I liked it. “You’re the first person to recognize me all day.” I pointed at my disguise on the floor. “I guess I need to reevaluate that.”
“Nah, your disguise was perfect. It was your voice I recognized.”
“Oh.” No one had ever used that line on me before. Maybe it wasn’t a line. I couldn’t tell. “Want to sit with me for a little while?” I blurted out. “I’m bored. I’ve been out of the country and I could use some American company.”
For a moment, she studied me hard, obviously debating my motives. I had them, yes. And they weren’t all innocent. But no matter what happened here, I desperately wanted this girl’s company. Nothing else seemed to matter in this moment.
She merely shrugged and plopped into the seat to my right. “Sure. I’d love to piss off that prissy flight attendant a little more.”
Again she had me laughing.
“You’ve got to know though—” She stopped talking for a moment, shaking her head. I noticed, barely creeping up the side of her neck from under her sweatshirt, the end of a tattoo. Instantly blood rushed harder through my veins. I wondered if she only had one or many. “I have a serious hard-on for you…as Lucian,” she started to say. “Dammit. I swear…he…you…are sexy as h
ell as that character. And that’s saying a lot since Kelly Patterson is your co-star and all. But whenever new episodes air, I tune in every Sunday…like it’s my job to watch…not for Kelly, but for you. That’s totally embarrassing but true.”
I swallowed, hard.
The girl stood, avoiding any eye contact. “Sorry. Jeez, I’m rambling like a fool. I’m normally not so pathetically tongue tied. I’ll go back to my seat now.” But she didn’t leave for her seat, she remained close.
I squinted up at her, the air between us growing thick with awkward tension or…possibly something…else. Something hotter. Girls came on to me all the time. But this was different. I felt more in this small moment than I had in way too long.
“Are you saying you normally like girls?” I asked, matching her bluntness and needing to know for sure what she meant.
Her eyes met mine. “Hell yes, I like girls. Ionly like girls.”
“But you watch the show for me?”
“Yes.”
“What’s your name?”
“Ellie.”
She was a lesbian. It hadn’t even occurred to me earlier because, frankly, even if she dressed a little like a boy, there was nothing boyish about this girl. Underneath her sweatshirt and jeans, I was willing to bet big money that she had one smoldering body. And the way she watched me right now with quick, rapid breaths, like she wanted me to ravish her the way Lucian ravished that girl in season two’s opening episode ofDragon Wars, I never would have known girls were her thing. Lesbian or not, I suddenly had a serious hard-on for her as well.
One I was ready to take advantage of. Right now.
Praying to whoever would listen, hoping Sherrie the flight attendant had puke or something equally horrible in the back to clean up and wouldn’t be returning soon, I unbuckled my seatbelt and stood to my feet. Much taller than the girl in front of me, I had to duck my head on this tiny airplane and lean into her space. “Have you ever been with a man before, Ellie?” I whispered, my gaze locked heavy on hers.
“No,” she said, her voice soft but her eyes a force of nature. “Why? Are you offering?”
I gulped. Sweet hell. I had no idea how to respond, so I simply told her the truth. “Yes.”
She stared up at me for several long moments, the hum of the airplane taking over all my senses. Then she suddenly burst out laughing. Embarrassment fluttered through me. Oh God, for as confident as I liked to think I was, I was completely out of my element.
“It’s not really funny,” I said.
She stopped laughing immediately. “So,” she snapped, her hands landing on her hips, her eyes glaring up at me and something beyond fierce taking over her body. “You’re saying you want tofuck me? Is that it Mr. Nate West? Right now. Right here.” She nodded toward the bathroom she’d been in minutes ago.
“Yes.”
She gasped.
“And I hate the name Nate by the way,” I told her. “Please, don’t call me it again.”
“Then what the hell should I call you?” she demanded.
“Nathanial.”
“Does the lesbian thing turn you on,Nathanial?”
“Nope. Only you do.”
“Does the virgin thing turn you on? Because maybe I’ve never been with a man, but I’m nothing close to a virgin.”
I smiled, confused as hell right about now. She was acting mad…but if she was truly pissed off about this conversation then why was she still standing in front of me, discussing it?
“Yes or no, little firecracker.” I dipped down closer to her until my forehead was nearly resting on hers. “Haven’t you ever wondered what it feels like to have a man inside you? Not just any man, but someone like me. To feel his powerful thrust—not some plastic toy or whatever it is lesbians like to get each other off with—as you scream out in ecstasy? I can give you that. I can even give you Lucian if that’s who you’d rather be with. It’s your choice. Now please move aside, I’ll be in that bathroom waiting. Come or don’t come—whatever you want. But I guarantee if you follow me into that bathroom you’re going to come.”
Her mouth fell open. I’d shocked her into silence with my cheesy line. She stepped aside and I moved past her, heading for the bathroom. I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure she wasn’t going to follow me, not after that tragically desperate speech, but as I entered the bathroom and went to shut the door, I found her following me inside.
CHAPTER 3:
ELLIE
Nate Freaking West. Sweet baby Jesus, what was I getting myself into?
The truth was, I had a crush on the man. And I never had man-crushes or even celebrity crushes, but I hadn’t been lying when I told him I watched his show every single Sunday just to watch him. I seriously did. He was hard not to watch. I bet every girl in America, lesbian or not, had what I’d called a ‘hard-on’ for his character Lucian.
Because he played this beastly, mean yet somehow lovable, anti-hero on one of the most popular and bloody shows on television. He was captivating, strong, and one hell of an actor. And seeing him in person, not caked in dirt or wearing barbarian clothes, he was just as ferociously handsome. He had thick black hair, tan skin, and a few days growth on his face. His eyes were such a dark shade of brown they were nearly black. He probably weighed around 230 pounds—all of it corded muscle, broad shoulders, thick thighs, and height. Seriously, even fully clothed his body was the epitome of masculinity. But one of my favorite features about him was a scar he had, cutting through one of his dark eyebrows. I’d always thought that imperfection had been something for the show, but seeing him in person, I now knew his scar was real. And despite what I thought I knew about myself, I was hella turned on.
I’d never been with a man and I suddenly needed to know what the fuss was about. Truth be told, it was secretly something I had on my bucket list. Nate West—or Nathanial—was a prime beefcake candidate to help me check that one off the list.Hey, I’m all about trying everything at least once. So hell yes, I followed him into that bathroom.
Airplane bathrooms are not made for sex. They are way too impossibly small, especially when you shove someone like Nate West into one of them, and I had no clue how we were going to accomplish this. Just getting the door closed with both of us inside proved difficult. I felt like Clark Griswold.
“Oh, hell,” I muttered. “No…you stand over there.”
We squeezed around each other—me trying carefully not to touch him just yet. But not touching was impossible. I ended up with my ass sitting on the sink counter and he ended up with his back pressed against the wall in front of me. My hands had nowhere to go but to settle against his sweatshirt covered stomach, while his hands rested on my jean covered thighs. I stared up at him, breathing like Darth freaking Vader, because even through layers of clothing I could feel the steely muscle he had going on underneath his sweatshirt.Seriously, what the fuck am I doing?
And then suddenly were both cracking up, laughing loud enough to get us in trouble with that damn flight attendant. What the hell were we thinking? Only very tiny, incredibly skinny people could pull this off.
“Have you ever done this before?” I said, snorting through my laughter. “Please, tell me no.”
“No, never. Not on a plane at least.” He had a smooth voice. Deep and very soothing. Obviously, Lucian had that same voice, but there was something about hearing it spoken in person that I highly enjoyed. “Are you regretting coming in here with me?”
Gazing into his dark, dark eyes, I forgot what was so funny. His lashes were black, thick, and I liked the way they framed those eyes. His scar cut close to one of them and I wondered how he got it. “No, surprisingly I’m not.” I shrugged. “And it’s not because you’re a celebrity either. Sometimes in life—very rarely, I might add—you meet someone and you know instantly they’re going to mean something special to you. The same exact thing happened when I first started hanging out with my best friend Noah. Now, obviously, he’s a dude and I’ve never even considered having sex with h
im, but we clicked so organically and so flawlessly that I swear we were always meant to be friends. I’m feeling something similar with you right now. It’s bizarre. I never knew the feeling could be duplicated and in a non-platonic context. Shit, you have no idea how much I wish you were a girl.”
“Have you really never had sex with a man before?” he asked, incredulous.
I shook my head. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I haven’t.”
Nathanial’s large hand was surprisingly tender as his finger began tracing little circles against my right thigh. It shouldn’t have felt as pleasant as it did. Or maybe it should have been awkward, but somehow it wasn’t. “I can’t just fuck you in this bathroom, Ellie. I thought I could…but I can’t.”
“Oh.” Surprisingly enough, I was disappointed.
“But I would like to kiss you.”
Before I could even comprehend what he was doing, he cupped his large hands around the sides of my neck and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I let it happen. It was a strange sensation—because he was so much bigger than me. I was used to delicate and smooth, while he was rough and powerful. Then again, despite the scratch of his unshaven face, his size, and the strength of his hands on my neck, the only word that could describe his touch and kiss was…gentle.
Incredibly gentle.
Sighing into him, my mouth opened to his. The first brush of his tongue against my tongue was feather-light, but I felt it in an intense shudder that rolled over my entire body and ended in a concentrated ache between my legs. Dammit. What in the name of the Holy Ghost was that? Sparks? Electricity? Magic? The pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? I broke away from his kiss, pulling back and staring up at him.
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