“Maybe he was living for everyone but himself,” I said with a shrug. “Doing more of what was expected of him and less of what he truly wanted.”
“Maybe,” she said. “I guess I’m kind of like that in some ways too.”
“Really?” My jaw kind of dropped. No fucking way. Not Ellie.
“Yeah, don’t look so shocked. Maybe the key is finding the balance. Hmm... Actually… I want to find the balance right now.” She smiled wickedly at me like something big was about to happen.
I immediately set my chopsticks down, no longer interested in food, and only interested in her.What was that look for? The sly look on her face could eat a man alive—and I was not immune. The blood in my veins started raging right through me. The muscles in my arms and stomach tensed up.
“Ellie?” I asked, my voice coming out a little hoarse.
Standing from her chair, she grabbed the edges of her long-sleeved shirt and pulled the material over her head. Her clothing disappeared in one easy motion—leaving the most beautifully bare, creamy skin behind. She wore a simple white bra that was completely in my way. Her entire right arm was covered in tattoos. A few designs kissed her left shoulder and the most stunning octopus, one with a whole lot more than eight legs, cut across her stomach—the legs disappeared in places I desperately needed to see.
She was fucking exquisite. I loved the contrast of colors against her light skin.
My mind was still processing as she unhooked the button on her jeans and inched her pants down. “Ellie.” I said her name again, grasping for some understanding.
“Shut up, Nathanial. I’m getting naked. You should get with the program and catch up.”
Holy shit! I got with the program and took off my shirt.
CHAPTER 12:
ELLIE
I’d meant what I said about finding my balance. All my life, people had looked at me and saw one thing—tomboy. Then tomboy eventually morphed into lesbian. From a young age, that was how people automatically categorized me and I’d never had a chance to explore outside that label. Until now. And I knew, even as I looked at the ridiculously handsome man in front of me, that most of my identity was true and would always remain intact. I found women attractive—that was just a part of my nature. But I couldn’t deny my body’s response to this man. I couldn’t deny the flutter in my stomach, the burning in my heart, or the needy ache between my legs.
Especially the needy ache between my legs.
He yanked his shirt over his head the way that guys do and then let it fall to the floor. His newly exposed broad-shoulders, tanned skin, and chiseled muscles…well, they were no joking matter. They didn’t make men finer than him.Thank you Jesus for creating this fucking incredible specimen! His pants were gone next, leaving boxers tented by one impressive erection. I’d seen him like this before—hell, that was only yesterday!—but everything I was experiencing was a brand-new feeling. I liked him now. My feelings were fueled by more than a simple desire. Emotions, at least on my end, had formed.
My body shivered, partly from my lack of clothing and the chilly ocean breeze coming in through the windows, and partly from the anticipation building inside of me.
He rested his forehead against mine, staring fiercely into my eyes. His brown eyes were almost black, darkened by lust. I was waiting for him to kiss me, but the kiss never came. Instead a pained growl ripped from his throat as he said, “Do you have any idea how badly I want you? All the things I want to do to you?”
I took a breath. “No, but you could show me,” I whispered.
That earned me yet another snarl—yes, a freaking snarl.Nathanial hadn’t touched me since I’d removed my clothing. He was holding back. It occurred to me then that he was hesitating, hesitating because he needed me to make the first move.
I seized him. My hands gripped his neck and I pressed my lips to his with a rough determination. That was the green light. One of his arms circled my waist, yanking me in against his body, and he kissed me so passionately that the world stood still. His other hand tangled into my hair, caressing softly and holding me close. His height meant my neck was tilted slightly back and I literally melted into him.
Never in my life had I felt so alive, so exhilarated, so gooey and warm inside, and so helpless to another person’s touch. The kiss could have lasted for hours, or perhaps only minutes. It was impossible to tell because time ceased to exist.
Our pace increased. And my bra—who the hell knows where that went? Nathanial had some skilled fingers—he’d unhooked it and removed it so fast. Now I was topless in his kitchen, with my breasts smooshed against his fine, hard chest, as I continued my exploration of his exquisite mouth. Anticipation was best friend and my worst enemy. I was terrified out of my freaking mind at the possibilities of everything to come. And yet, he couldn’t get us there fast enough. Fears be damned, I longed to feel him inside me, the way I’d never longed for anything in my life.
My fingers trailed over the ridges of his abs, moving down to in the direction of his boxers. I needed the material gone. I needed him naked with nothing between us. But Nathanial stopped my wandering hands, making more animal sounds as he broke our kiss. These sounds were raw and uncontrolled and the hottest thing I’d ever heard. His character Lucian never made these noises during love scenes on his show. I made a mental note to tell him he should incorporate them into his acting and then quickly let the thought drift away.
Hell no, I wanted him and his animal noises all to myself.
“Please don’t stop,” I whimpered. “Please, Nathanial. Don’t.”
He took my hand in his and placed it over the front of his boxers. “Feel that?” he whispered.Hell yes, I felt him.The material was thin and not much of a barrier, letting me know exactly how hardand big his dick was. “Obviously I don’t want to stop. You have me so hard I can barely think past the swell of your tits and the beauty of the design touching this one.” He softly kneaded my right breast, and dammit if I didn’t close my eyes and moan into his touch. “But to tell you the honest fucking truth—I’m terrified.”
My eyes flew open.
“Of me?” I questioned.
He didn’t seem like the type to be scared of anything, certainly not of a woman. But I could feel the slight tremble in his hands as he brushed them lightly over my hardened nipples. I could see the apprehension in his eyes.
“Yeah, Ellie, of you.” He cupped my face and softly kissed my lips.
His raw vulnerability had my heart slamming against my ribs. I’d never experienced something so genuine or so overwhelming. Then a little voice popped into my head—what if he was acting?
“Is this real?” I asked him.
He nodded.
And surprisingly enough, despite that voice, I trusted him. “It’s real for me too.”
Our mouths came together again.
I knew then that there would be no more doubts or delays. He lifted me in his arms like I weighed nothing. My legs wrapped automatically around his torso, and he carried me out of the kitchen. There were stairs—at I least think there were—as we moved through the dark hallways of his house and ultimately into his bedroom. Moonlight filled the entire space, pouring in because the wall that faced the ocean was made entirely of glass. In fact, I think it was retractable. The rest of the room was open space with white walls and hardwood floors. It had a lofty ceiling with exposed beams and some weird ball light hanging in the middle. And, the worst feature of all…no bed.
His ex had taken the bed too? What a bitch?
Nathanial gently laid me down on a very cozy couch on the far side of the room, knocking off the pillows as he did so. It was plush brown suede and it obviously meant something to him—as it was the only piece of furniture that had been left behind. Or at least, it hadn’t meant anything to the woman. I know a normal girl would have had questions about her—who she was and why she wasn’t in the picture anymore? But to be completely honest, I didn’t give a damn about whoever she’d been or her fur
niture stealing ways. But I sensed she’d hurt Nathanial and that made me want to claw the bitch’s eyes out.
He stood to push down his boxers—about damn time too—and all thoughts of his ex and her clawed eyes were instantly forgotten. His erection sprang free, long and hard, and just as intimidating as it had been the first time I’d seen it.
My breathing picked up speed.
He lazily stroked his hand down his dick…once...twice. And my mouth dropped open. If he kept doing that then I was going to come in my panties. “You’re beautiful, Ellie,” he told me, his voice thick and rough, his eyes on my eyes. “Incredibly beautiful against that couch. Stop me if I do anything you don’t like, okay?”
I wasn’t in any condition to speak, so I only nodded.
He moved closer, pulling the cotton of my underwear down in a slow, teasing fashion. He freed me of the material and pushed my legs apart, so he could settle down in between them. In the next second his mouth was on the inside of my thigh, kissing a path upward.Hell fire burning me up! Obviously I was no stranger to oral sex, but the scruff of his beard, the force of his eyes looking across my body, and the fact that it was Nate West down there—well, it was the sexiest thing I’d ever experienced. I waited in anticipation for his mouth to reach its destination.
But he skipped over the sweet spot, kissing across my stomach instead.
I groaned in frustration.
He smiled wildly against my skin as his lips continued their pursuit. But by the time he reached my mouth, he was back to being completely serious. With purpose, he gripped my knees, shifted me, and opened my legs wider.Sweet agony, the blunt and demanding head of his dick was positioned just right against my entrance. One sharp thrust and he would be inside me. My clit was thumping like mad, impatiently waiting for whatever was to come.
Then he whispered in my ear, “Sometimes in life—very rarely, I might add—you meet someone and you know instantly they’re going to mean something special to you. I didn’t know what that meant at first, but I understand it now.”
My heart squeezed. Those were my exact words. He’d remembered. And he couldn’t have used them at a more perfect time. I thought for sure he was nanoseconds away from thrusting inside me. But instead he groaned, and for some stupid reason changed his mind. He moved down my body—back in the direction he’d skipped over.
“Tell me when you’re close to coming—okay Ellie? But don’t you dare go over the edge without me,” he demanded, being incredibly bossy. Then without any restraint, his hot mouth pressed greedily against my wet center.
I cried out, partly in shock and partly due to the blissful feeling. He knew how to use his tongue and he sure wasn’t shy. And, yeah, this was great and all but it wasn’t going to work for me. I dug my fingers into his hair and fisted my hands, pulling so that he’d stop and look up at me. “I’m already too close. I need you to fuck me now.”
“Yeah?” he grunted, his voice so hoarse it spoke directly to me on an instinctual level.
“Yeah,” I repeated, ready to beg if he didn’t move fast enough.
He sat up to his knees, yanking my hips, effortlessly pulling me in closer against him on the couch. He ran a finger across where I was wet and ready, causing me to shiver, and wasted no time guiding himself right in. One sharp, powerful thrust—that was all it took—and he was buried deep inside me. I’d broken my hymen long ago, when I dated this girl who’d had a thing for strap-ons. But Nathanial was no toy—he was big and hot and his entry in hurt like a motherfucker. But with one sure stroke, then a second, and a third, the pain drifted away and only ecstasy remained.
Dammit, we’d forgotten one thing.
“Condom,” I uttered in a cry. “I’m not on birth control.”
He stopped completely, without saying a single word, and left me to move across the room. He dug in his backpack that was on the floor and then a moment later he hurried back to me. “Sorry,” he whispered, biting the foil wrapping and ripping it open, “I forgot too.”
He rolled the condom on like a pro, which was a very exquisite sight to watch, then moved back to where he was. I’d never liked him more than in this moment. He could have been shitty about the whole thing, as I thought most guys didn’t like to stop once they’d started, but he was a perfect gentleman—bending over and kissing me, right before he pumped inside me once more. I cried out all over again. This time not because of the pain, but because the initial feeling of him entering me, filling me, stretching me—it was the best physical feeling my body had ever experienced.
My heart felt like it was stretching too.
Nathanial wasn’t a gentle lover. In fact, he was rough and relentless. He quickly moved from the couch, maneuvering me with him, so that he could use the leverage of standing to fuck me. The only moments he slowed down were moments to kiss me, otherwise he was nothing but powerful and demanding. But what was out of this freaking world, was the connection he created. His hands never left my body—always gripping my waist, my thighs, my breasts, or strumming against my clit. His eye contact was also unwavering. No words were spoken, but no words were needed. The entire time I felt like we were riding the same wave length, exactly in sync with one another.
It didn’t take long for the sensation building between my legs to near its crescendo. Only then did I whimper out a warning. “Nathanial,” I said as the feelings drew closer and closer to overcoming me.
“I know, baby,” he grunted, holding my neck in his hands and resting his forehead to mine. He pounded harder as we breathed in the same air. A small part of me was terrified to fall over that edge. Because I knew I was about to fall harder than I ever had before. This wouldn’t be a quick spark of an orgasm, intense but fleeting—it was about to be so much more. And I cried out in my frustration.
“Let go,” he commanded, growling. “Ellie…for me.”
I came. Unable to fight it off another second longer, the intense feeling slammed into my body. Warmth and electricity rushed over me unrelentingly. I dug my fingers into Nathanial’s biceps, holding onto him for dear life, and I screamed because it felt so wonderful and so perfect. He pumped into me a few more times—slow, hard thrusts that my mind barley registered in my oblivion—before he stilled and found his release.
After my aftershocks subsided and he pulled out, Nathanial quickly disposed of the condom in a trashcan across the room and then moved to join me on the couch. We were both sweaty and naked, and I hardly knew how to act now that it was over. He laid down beside me, letting out a giant sigh. His hand rested over my breast and he squeezed slightly. Jesus Christ, the butterflies in my stomach were worse now than they’d been prior to our love-making.
But my anxious feelings quickly subsided—because Nathanial was on some sort of afterglow, post-sex high. He kept pressing kisses to different parts of my skin—in a sleepy, loving, lazy sort of way. His gentle way put me at ease.
“Stop it,” I warned, stifling a laugh when he kissed a spot that was way too ticklish.
“You’re so sexy, I can’t help it.” He smiled, pulling me in closer against his hot skin. The couch was just big enough for us both to fit side-by-side. “I’m tired,” he yawned, nestling his face into my neck. “My internal clock is on Morocco time and it’s probably about three in the morning there.”
“You want to go to sleep now?” I asked. I’d never been more awake.
“No. I don’t want to miss anything. Like these fine tits.” He held me tighter with his large hands. His boyish antics kept making me smile. “And I want to hear more about you.”
“Like what?”
“Like everything.”
“Well, what I want to know is why your ex didn’t take this couch? Because it is seriously the coziest thing I’ve ever been on.” I probably should have kept my mouth shut about the stupid couch, taken a play out of Noah’s book and kept my thoughts to myself, but I asked it anyway—being my typical noisy self.
He didn’t seem upset that I’d asked and answered my que
stion. “It wasn’t hers to take. It was my granddad’s couch. When I got my first apartment on my own, he gave it to me. It’s still in good shape, big enough to fit all of me on it, and comfy enough to sleep on when you find yourself without a bed. So yeah, I’m never getting rid of this thing. And I especially love it now that we’ve christened it. Kelly would have never let me fuck her on this couch.”
“Kelly Patterson?”
“Yes.”
I swallowed. I’m not sure why I hadn’t put it together earlier or freaking remembered. His ex was Kelly Patterson—as in his co-star from Dragon Wars! I didn’t pay attention to celebrity gossip, I couldn’t care less about who dated who in Hollywood, but my kid sister was obsessed with the stuff. Rosie was constantly telling me way too much against my will. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew they were together. Kelly was incredibly beautiful, talented, and loveable. Hell, I think she even had her own charity. She was a classy woman—so, of course, she wouldn’t have let him fuck her on a couch.
Maybe Nathanial didn’t mean anything by his couch comment—but for some reason, it stung. He wasn’t mine. He’d never be mine. When tomorrow morning came we would cease to exist—so I shouldn’t have been upset by his words. But strangely enough, I was.
“Don’t do it,” he whispered.
“Do what?” I asked.
“Compare yourself to Kelly.”
I sat up, pulling away from him, my heart thumping immediately. “Isn’t that what you were just doing? When you said I fuck on couches and she doesn’t. That sounded like a clear-cut comparison to me.” My eyes scanned his room, searching for my clothes. I found my underwear beside me on the couch and I quickly shimmied them on. Then I remembered that the rest of my stuff was downstairs.
Dammit.
“No,” he said firmly. “Okay. Fine, yes, I was comparing you to her.”
I groaned and hopped off the couch. I didn’t care that I was topless—my hands landed on my hips and I glared at him. “Fuck you. So that’s what I am…I’m the rebound girl.”
Changing Tides (Kill Devil Hills Book 2) Page 10
