We stood in silence and watched the early morning boaters taking advantage of the still waters. It was a clear morning, the normal morning fog absent. I took the opportunity to give thanks to the universe. Thankful that I had Ava back in my arms.
JJ yawned loudly, reminding me that none of us had slept.
“Why don’t we try and get some rest?” I suggested.
“I’m not tired.” JJ yawned trying to cover it up with his hand.
“Well I am,” Ava said, yawning herself.
“Why don’t you and JJ head upstairs? I’m gonna check the house and lock up.” I let go of Ava, taking her plate and cup with me into the kitchen.
“No,” JJ all but shouted. “We’ll wait here for you.”
“What’s wrong?” Ava asked JJ. She turned to study his face.
“Nothing. I just want to wait for Reid. Um, how do we know what’s upstairs? He should show us.”
JJ was panicking, and Ava’s face paled.
“Alright JJ. Let’s go lock up the house,” I suggested, “Is it ok if your mom goes upstairs and gets changed?”
“Yeah, okay. But you’re just going upstairs right?” he probed.
Ava’s eyes cut to mine, and she tilted her head to the side. Obviously confused by my suggestion.
I nodded my head, and she answered, “Yes, I’m going straight upstairs.”
“Okay, I’ll go with Reid.” JJ quickly made his way to my side and grabbed my hand. “Can we hurry?”
“There should be something for you to sleep in, in the master bedroom. Help yourself to whatever you find in the drawers.”
Ava’s confusion grew. I knew she wanted to question me, but she remained silent as she left the kitchen area. I waited until she was out of earshot before I addressed JJ.
“What’s goin’ on, little man?”
“Nothing, I just want to help,” JJ lied.
“Alright, I’m gonna lay it out for you. You, me, and your mom, we’re a team. The three of us. Being part of a team means you’re always honest, even if it is uncomfortable or embarrassing. If something is bothering you, you tell me.” JJ’s eyes widened. He obviously didn’t think that Ava or I had caught on that something was wrong.
“Okay,” he responded.
“So, I’m gonna ask you again. What’s going on?”
“I’m scared,” he whispered.
“Of what?”
I knew this was costing him, me making him be honest with me. Making him talk about how he felt, and what he was scared of. But I couldn’t let this slide. JJ had to understand that if something was wrong, he could always trust me to help him.
“I don’t know.” Now he was being honest. I believed he couldn’t put to words why he was scared.
“Do you think I’m going to leave you?”
“No. I know you wouldn’t leave me. I’m scared that he’ll come and take me next,” he murmured.
Motherfucking, Carl Allen.
“He won’t. I promise you will never have to worry about Carl Allen again. Ever. He will never touch you, you will never hear his voice again, and he will never get near your mom again. He is gone. Forever.” JJ looked at me, but he still didn’t look like he was convinced. “JJ, do I break promises?”
“No,” he answered.
“I promise you, son, that man will never hurt you or your mom again. It is okay to be scared. We’ll work through that as a family, a team. But, you have to tell us if something is bothering you so we can help you.”
“Okay.”
“Let’s get the house locked up so we can check on your mom. Do you know where the garage door is?” JJ nodded his head. “Go check that door is locked. I’ll check the front door and meet you at the stairs.”
I watched as JJ tried to work out if he was going to check the door by himself. Just when I thought he was going to tell me no, he nodded his head and ran towards the back of the house.
Brave.
I checked the door and armed the alarm. JJ was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He was out of breath, and red-faced. I didn’t bother to acknowledge either. He did it, left my side, and proved to himself he could do it.
“Door locked?” I asked.
“Yep.”
“Good, let’s go find your mom.”
We found Ava in the master bedroom wearing a pair of sweats that were three times too big for her. She had them rolled up and still had to hold them up. She looked like she was wearing… well, my clothes.
“Can I stay in here with you two?” JJ requested.
“Reid’s not…”
“Yes. Of course, you can. Hop up little man,” I cut Ava off.
If she thought for one second, that she and JJ would not be in here with me, she was crazy.
“Reid, maybe…”
“Nope. Not a chance. Get comfy, sweetheart, I’ll be right back.”
I grabbed a pair of sweats and a clean tee and headed to the master bathroom. I’d give her a few minutes to make this adjustment. It was non-negotiable, she would be in my bed from here on out.
When I came out, she and JJ were cuddled up, taking up half of the king-sized bed. The sight was breathtaking. JJ snuggled safely in his mom’s embrace, Ava kissing the top of his head.
I couldn’t stop the vision from playing out in my mind of Ava sitting in bed nursing our baby with JJ snuggled up to her side. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. Soon.
I crawled into bed, so exhausted my eyes were closing as soon as my head hit the pillow. I wasn’t even lying there a minute when I felt it. JJ turned in Ava’s arms, both facing me. One little boy hand reached out and grabbed mine. A second later, a soft warm, woman hand reached out and grabbed our hands.
My eyes closed and sleep started to take me.
“My boys,” I heard muttered softly.
I fell asleep with a smile playing on my lips.
Chapter Ten
WE’RE A TEAM
Ava
I cracked my eyes open, and I was alone in bed. Panic set in, then I remembered where I was. I was safe. Reid found me. I sighed and laid back down. I needed a few minutes to myself.
I was emotionally exhausted, and my nerves were shot. The relief of being found had dissipated, and guilt had set in. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown any moment. Jimmy showing up, Carl, Suzie in ICU, Rick, April. All of it, my fault.
I had to go see Suzie today, but I was afraid to face Michael. He must hate me. It was my fault his wife had been beaten. And April, poor April, the man she was getting ready to marry was dead. Again, because of me.
I turned my head and let my pillow absorb my tears, muffling the sound of my sobs. I didn’t even want to think about the untold effect this was having on my son. He looked so scared last night when Reid told us to go upstairs. JJ didn’t even want to be alone with me, not that I blamed him. I was a walking disaster. But, it still hurt like hell.
I gave myself a few more minutes before I sat up and wiped my tears away. I needed to go and find my boys.
A quick trip to the bathroom to clean up and fix my face before I went in search of JJ and Reid.
They were in the kitchen nook, eating a pizza talking with Mac.
Fucking A, I couldn’t catch a break. I had hoped I could push the Mac situation out of my mind for a few days.
“Hey,” I greeted when I walked in.
“Hey, Mom. Uncle Mac brought us a pizza. He brought your favorite. Garlic knots! They’re on the counter. Oh, and a diet coke,” JJ rushed out.
“Good Morning to you too.” I smiled at JJ. “That was nice of your Uncle Mac. Did you tell him thank you?”
“Of course, I did.” But, judging by the look on JJ’s face I doubted he remembered to say thank you.
“Good Morning Mac. Thank you for breakfast…er…lunch. Reid, is there a coffee maker?”
Both men laughed. My need for coffee was real. Reid stood up and came to me, as soon as he was close enough his hand shot out, and he tagged me around the stomach
pulling me into him.
“Hmmm.” He inhaled close to my neck. “Good morning, sweetheart. Go sit. I’ll make you coffee.”
“Thank you.” I lifted on my toes and kissed his cheek. That was all I felt comfortable with in front of Mac and JJ.
Before I could get very far, Reid grabbed both sides of my face and brought his lips to mine.
It was a chaste kiss. Just the touching of lips. But my body caught fire, and all sorts of images played through my head. I remembered what it felt like having his tongue stroking mine. I wanted more of that.
“You’re welcome,” Reid said against my lips.
“Hey, bud you done eating yet?” Mac asked JJ snapping me out of my wayward thoughts.
“Yeah.” JJ wiped his mouth and pushed his plate away from him.
“Good. If you’re ready, let’s hit the road.” Mac stood, picking the plates up off the table.
I must’ve missed the planning of our day. I hadn’t even had coffee yet, and my stomach was growling. I needed at least an hour before I was ready.
“I’m not ready. Can I at least have a cup of coffee?” I grumbled.
“Uncle Mac is taking me to the skateboard park so you and Reid can run errands,” JJ informed me.
Say what? I was instantly on alert struggling to keep my temper in check. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate Mac wanting to take JJ so we could go to the hospital, but I would’ve liked to have been consulted.
“Can I talk to you? In private.” I wasn’t quite sure which man I was speaking to. I didn’t know which one of them had made the plan without talking to me first. But, I figured whichever one made the plans would follow me out of the room.
In the end, it was Reid that followed me into the living room.
“You have something you want to tell me?” I quizzed him.
Reid looked thoughtful for a moment and shook his head. “No.”
“What the hell? Mac is taking JJ out to the park? Did anyone think to run that by me?” I challenged.
“No.”
I was getting ready to strangle Reid. “How about an answer that is more than one word?”
“We have things to do today. Things that JJ should not see. Mac offered to spend some time with him this afternoon so we could do those things. I took him up on the offer. That’s it.”
“Don’t you think you should’ve asked me?”
“No.”
Holy shit. We were back to the single syllable answers.
“No? And why is that?” I was a millimeter away from losing my patience. “So help me God, if you answer with one word I’m gonna throat punch you, Reid.”
I didn’t miss the flash in Reid’s eyes before he stepped close invading my space.
“I didn’t ask you because it’s Mac. Again, he offered. I took him up on it so we can go visit Suzie and April without JJ seeing and hearing things that would further scare the shit out of him. I also didn’t ask because I’m not gonna bother you with petty shit, that I know you’re gonna say yes to. You trust me?” He stopped speaking apparently waiting for my answer.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. Yes, I trusted him. But…that wasn’t the point.
“Me trusting you is not the issue. You made a decision about JJ without talking to me first.”
“You miss the conversation we all had last night?”
I thought back, trying to recall last night’s conversation. Did I miss something? Was I so tired that I forgot we talked about Mac taking JJ?
“What conversation?”
He lowered his face to meet my eyes and held them for a minute.
“The conversation where that boy in there said he wanted me to be his dad. The conversation where I explained to him in no uncertain terms that not only did I claim him as my son, but you as the woman I am going to marry. Did you miss that conversation, Ava?” His voice hardened, and his eyes narrowed.
“Well, no. I didn’t miss that conversation.” My voice sounded shrill even to my own ears.
What the hell was wrong with me?
“Then the problem is what? I am not stupid Ava. I know, for now, there are boundaries. Mac, however, is not one of those boundaries. You have to trust me.”
Shit, he was right. I was making a big deal out of nothing. Mac taking JJ for the day wasn’t the issue. Reid overstepping was not the issue. The issue was me. I was used to being the only one that made decisions regarding JJ.
“Fine.” Reid chuckled at my answer and kissed my forehead. “I need coffee,” I informed him.
“Yeah. Ya’ do.” Reid continued to laugh.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped.
“Goddamn, woman, you are sexy as hell when you are feisty. Let's get you some coffee before I take you upstairs and show you just how sexy I think you are.”
As tempting as that sounded, I didn’t think that was the best plan with my ten-year-old son waiting for us in the kitchen.
Without answering, I walked away leaving Reid standing in the living room laughing.
Asshole.
When I made it back to the kitchen, Mac and JJ were both standing waiting to go. Both had identical smiles across their face. I hoped like hell they hadn’t heard that conversation.
“Thank you, Mac.” I didn’t know what else to say. Yes, we needed to have a long conversation, one where I admitted I had been a royal bitch and I was wrong. But now was not the time for that.
“Anytime. Now, my Godson and I are gonna go rip shit up at the skate park,” Mac announced.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. There was no use trying. As many times as I reminded him about his mouth, he ignored me. I should just be thankful he wasn’t dropping F-bombs. JJ laughed beside him before he tried to cover it up with a cough. Cheeky brat and he knew it too.
I smiled at JJ and winked. “Love you, kid. Be good. And please wear your helmet. You have a pretty head. I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Sure, Mom. I’ll see you later.” He waved tugging Mac’s shirt as he walked out of the kitchen.
I didn’t miss that he didn’t tell me he loved me back. This was one of those times JJ had told me about. Where when he was in front of the guys he didn’t want me embarrassing him.
Sigh.
“See ya, Ava.” Mac waved.
I stayed rooted in the kitchen. I wanted to go after them and kiss my son goodbye, but JJ would be embarrassed. I started to stir the creamer into my coffee watching it turn a ‘blonde’ color, putting another splash in for good measure. Coffee taste was nasty, the more creamer the better.
That’s when I felt it. My son wrapping his arms around me from behind, squeezing me tight. I didn’t move. I closed my eyes and appreciated the moment.
“I love you, Mama,” he whispered to my back.
I didn’t answer. I just let his words seep in, spreading warmth as they went.
God, I loved my little boy, who was no longer so little. As fast as he ran into the room he ran back out.
I took my coffee to the nook, enjoying the view of the South Bay. The cloudless sky a deep blue. It looked to be a beautiful day out. Unusual for this time of year, it looked like spring might come early. I welcomed the warm weather. JJ loved the summer when we could be outside all day, enjoying all the outdoor activities San Fran had to offer.
I was planning a trip to Fisherman’s Wharf in my head when Reid came in.
“How are you feeling today?” he inquired.
I plastered my fake smile on before I turned to face him.
“Great.” The lie rolled easy off my tongue.
“Bullshit. I’ll tell you the same thing I told JJ last night. The three of us… we’re a team. We don’t bullshit each other. Honesty, always,” he replied.
“You said that to JJ?”
“Ava!”
He wasn’t going to let me get away deflecting. Damn him. I didn’t want to talk about this. I remained silent in hopes that he would understand.
“How. Are. You. Feeling?”
He enunciated each word in his impatience.
Jeeze.
“My head is feeling fine. No headache. And nothing hurts.” There, that was an answer.
“Good to know. What about the rest?” He pushed.
UGH!
“I’m fine. Really,”
“Is that why you came down this morning with your face blotchy from crying?”
“That’s nice. You saying I look like shit?”
“Like shit? No. Did I know you’d been cryin’? Yes. You forget woman, I know you. I am not new. Mac is walking on shaky ground with you. He knows this, so he’ll keep his mouth shut and won’t press his luck. I’ll press.”
He was infuriating. I didn’t want to fucking talk about this. So, I announced, “I’m going to take a shower.”
I stomped out of the kitchen, and up the stairs. All the while I was waiting for him to follow me. Demand I answer him.
He didn’t.
I grabbed my new clothes from yesterday and brought them in the master bathroom with me. I turned the water on full blast and as hot as I could handle before I stepped in. I stood there for a long while, letting the water wash away my tension. I rolled my neck under the hot water and relaxed even more.
One moment I was standing in the steam enjoying a peaceful shower and the next I was screaming down the house. The memories snuck up on me, the last time I was in the shower a madman was in there with me, threatening to violate me. I thought I might pass out. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t catch my breath.
Strong hands grabbed my shoulders, my naked back hit a wall of muscle. I continued to scream and struggle with all my might. He wouldn’t touch me. He would never, ever touch me.
“Ava!”
In the abstract, way far away, I could hear my name.
“Ava!”
This time a little clearer, but still in the fringes of my mind.
“Ava, sweetheart. You’re safe.”
“Reid?”
“Right here, sweetheart. Slow down. Breathe with me.”
I waited, and after a few beats, I could feel his chest move against my back. I mimicked his breathing, slowing mine.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Just breathe,” he spoke softly near my ear.
I continued to breathe in slow deep breaths until my mind cleared and could feel the roughness of Reid’s jeans on my backside. Then I was panting and breathing heavy for a whole new reason.
Unbroken -Part Two - A Second Chance at Love Romance: The Collective - Season 1, Episode 6 Page 7
