by Madlen Namro
Even the sound of the name made the commandos feel uneasy. Jo’s was the only face expressing a lack of recollection. She tried to search her mind for any information about this man, but there was nothing there.
“The only way we can beat him, is by being equally ruthless and determined. We must support the commandos stationed in the free zones on Earth. Now, if this new transmitter turns up, to our expectations, we will be able to take that support to a new level. We must help our brothers in the struggle, even if it means the most dangerous, direct involvement. We must do our best. I know you will not fail us!”
The commandos rose to their feet and rewarded the speech with an ovation. As they clapped their hands, they felt a renewed enthusiasm surging through them. Only Jo remained silent, lost in her thoughts, staring blankly as she pondered on everything she had forgotten of her life and her identity. She glanced at herself in her inner mirror. She begun to realise that in all this, her soul had somehow been torn to shreds.
* * * *
All rooms on Atlantis were identically planned. Cramped and rather dark, with a small kitchenette and a bathroom. To get to them, the residents had to use the building’s outside elevators. As they stepped out, they could see seemingly endless directions. Room corridors. Teflon was everywhere.
In most cases, the rooms were decorated to at least resemble Earthly conditions, which was a lost cause considering all the metallic elements. The base as a whole was, generally speaking, a rather discouraging sight.
Levi’s room was strictly ascetic. Although there was a small kitchenette, he usually ate all his meals in the canteen. He had neither the time nor desire to cater for himself. He also did what he could to avoid nutrition pills. They tended to upset his stomach and they tasted horrible. In fact, all he had in his kitchen at that moment was some leftover ersatz coffee, stashed away for longer than he could remember. He served a cup to Jo. There was no need to ask what was eating her. He knew all too well.
“My last clear memory,” she said after a long pause, “is of the day I came to tell my parents I’d been accepted as the Luna’s pilot. I remember their faces, tears in Mom’s eyes, her pride, Dad hugging me…”
narrow corridors entrances were leading off in all
located along the “Jo.” He sat next to her. “Stop beating yourself up. We talked about all this for a long time before the procedure, about what would happen after… You were confident you could handle it, that you’d not be tormented by the past. Now I see that the lack of those few years is really bothering you.”
Jo stood up and walked to the window from where she could see a wide panorama of Atlantis.
“I feel as if I’ve lost my face.” She finished her coffee with one anxious swig, ignoring the burn on her tongue. She looked back at Levi. “Not to mention that every person passing me knows who I am and I have no clue whether I should recognise them or not. Like Robert today. The kid runs up to me and I’ve no idea who he is. All I could see is the surprise and fear, maybe even despair in his eyes.”
She sat again. The commodore poured her another cup of coffee. She’d always loved it.
“It’s really difficult. I feel nothing for anybody. I don’t know who’s a friend and who isn’t, no love, no hate, just emptiness. I don’t know if I can handle it…”
“I know where this is going.” The commodore was beginning to sense trouble. “I’ve known you for more than five years and I know how cunning you can be. But I promised you something before the procedure and I’ll repeat it to you now. You’ll never get the access codes from me and it would be much better for your own sake…” He stressed the last words. “To just let it go. You yourself predicted that one day you might try to force it from me, but trust me, it won’t happen. I’ll destroy it if that’s what it takes.” He motioned to his chest where the access codes were hanging on a thick chain.
Jo had been discreetly glancing at the codes all that time and Levi was perfectly aware of the fact.
“There’s no argument you could make that would change my mind.”
Jo had tears in her eyes as anger and frustration began to surge through her. The commodore took her hand.
“And as for friends, remember that those who were on your side before are still there, provided they truly care for you.”
“Commodore, is there anyone I should know of? Do I have any real friends at all?”
“Yes. You have me and David.” He neglected to mention Alec on purpose.
“David?”
“Yes. He’s a commando, one of the best on the Luna. His name is David Scar.”
He left her there to digest all she had to face and walked out of the room. It was time to choose the commandos for David’s rescue mission.
* * * *
After the meeting with the Defence Council member, the commandos who had families on Atlantis would sequester themselves in their rooms, while those who were single or had lost their loved ones in terrorist attacks sought company in clubs and community areas where they could have a drink and chat. Others preferred the solitude of gyms or computer screens.
Alec was, by all appearances, one of the fortunate ones, with a family of his own, a wife and soon a child, but nonetheless he was not a happy man. There’d always been something eating him inside. Most people who knew him would say he was a man torn by contradictions, that he was unreasonably chaotic and disorderly. David and Levi had both been equally surprised by the way Jo used to be attracted to him. Maybe it was nothing but chemistry or maybe there was more to it. She had invested so much of her heart and soul into that relationship and he’d thrown it all away without a second thought. And what for? Neither was able to answer that question.
It was stuffy. Alec lay down on the floor, because the bed was too soft for him to stretch his muscles, sore after his workout. Diana was watching him closely. Neither had said anything for several minutes and it was apparent the she would have to be the one to break the silence.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked hesitantly. “Nothing,” he answered coarsely, his frown looming with anger instantly growing in his expression. Diana walked across the room and approached him wearily.
“You’re thinking about Jo.” She gestured at him, desperately. “Ever since she stopped remembering you, you haven’t thought of anything but her. You want to get back in her graces, is that it?”
Alec got up from the floor sensing another long discussion about Jo. But they’d not been together for over a year. Even at work they didn’t seem to get along too well anymore. He felt that Jo was blocking him somehow, as if hiding something, that there were things they should have discussed but never managed to. Now that she’d erased those five years of her life, it was as if their whole relationship had never happened and whatever chance they’d had to rectify their unresolved issues was now gone.
“Stop it.” Alec made an attempt to calm his wife down. “Jo is our captain, Levi’s right hand; we have to get on with each other. I’ll do my best to make sure she finds it in herself to like me, as a colleague that is.”
“You’re hiding something. Don’t think I don’t see it!” Despair and hysteria took hold of Diana all at once. It was obvious that thoughts of Alec and his past had tormented her for a long time now.
She staggered back to her armchair and sat. Her belly was sore. Alec walked up to her and started to stroke it gently.
“You’ve never told me the whole truth about her. I’m your wife. I have to know.”
“And I’m your husband. You’re supposed to trust me. How many times must we go through this? Jo was close to me. Once. Then I met you…”
He walked to the bathroom, slightly hunched, a man caught up in a relationship without a future, a man who had broken somebody’s heart, who’d failed and who had only realised it once it was far too late. For the first time in his life he felt defeated and lonely. He was beginning to realise what it meant to be stranded among people. He needed to talk to Leon. If anyone could set him bac
k on track it was him.
Diana followed him with her eyes as he left the room. She did not believe a word he had said, regardless of how often he’d assured her of his love. She wondered if he’d said the same things to Jo when they were together. She reached into a bedside drawer and fished out a book with an old picture of Jo and Alec. Jo was wrapping her arms around Alec’s neck, kissing him on the cheek. She saw genuine love in her husband’s eyes, something she’d never felt when he looked at her. And while Alec was taking a shower, Diana tortured herself with endless worries about the past and future. Finally, she was too tired to go on. She got up and decided to dress for supper. They were going out.
The canteen was one of the few places where one could, at least for a moment, forget about terrorists, computers, shuttles and superiors. Here, the soldiers could socialise or just sit down and think and plan for the future.
Jo remembered this room full of tables, with the little bar at the far end where alcohol allowances were distributed. Commandos stationed at the base were only allowed a drink once a month, but whenever you walked into the room it always seemed full of people. Some rules were meant to be broken. She chose a table by the window so she could watch the base.
She studied the view outside as if trying to memorise the layout of this miniature town. She ordered meat porridge, her favourite. Chewing slowly, she tried to awaken some memories through the familiar taste. She surveyed the runway in the distance. She recalled getting onboard one of the spacecrafts, leaving the base, colleagues seeing her off, waving. Then the doors closed and… that was it. The rest was a complete blank.
“Excuse me,” a voice shifted Jo’s attention from the window. “Can I join you?”
She looked up curiously and saw a man of medium height with hazel eyes and brown, closely cropped hair. His look paralysed her. She felt a sting in her heart. For a moment she was so affected, she almost forgot to breathe. Am I supposed to know this man?
“My name is Victor.” He shook her hand. “Victor Berg. I’m….” He sat apparently assuming she didn’t mind. He was himself distracted by her beauty. He’d seen her pictures on many occasions but, cliché as it would sound, he had to admit they hadn’t done her justice.
“Yes?”
“I’m actually not sure how to say this.”
“Are you a commodore from one of the shuttles?”
“No, no.” Victor smiled at her unpretentiously as the waiter served his fish with bread and juice pri, a vitamin and mineral drink.
“Okay, let me guess. You’re a constructor… no… more likely a senator.” Victor’s smile widened. He took off his glasses and placed them next to his plate. This woman attracted him like a magnet. He felt a peculiar vibration in his groin just from looking at her, as if he had found some sort of a long awaited treasure.
“No, Jo.”
“Seems that you know me but I’m afraid I don’t remember you. I’m sorry.” She looked up timidly and met his gaze.
“There’s no need to be sorry. I know you, but you don’t know me. I’m a tracker.”
Jo choked on her drink. Victor helped her as was usually expected, by patting her on the back. Levi had told her so many stories about trackers, the invisible people who seemed to know everything. Ruthless when necessary, highly intelligent, in unmatched physical shape, masters of martial arts, lethal… and here… one of them was cheerfully smiling at her from across the table. In fact he seemed to be rather amused by her surprise. It took Jo a moment to realise that she’d never heard of a tracker blowing his cover like that. It was hardly expected of them to just sit down across from someone, say their name and throw in their occupation details. Why, then? She couldn’t have known that Victor and Levi had been friends for years and the commodore had asked him to watch over her. Victor realised he hadn’t played his cards right. He wanted to win her trust by being bluntly honest, but maybe he’d gone too far? He couldn’t focus. She enchanted him and he found it hard to even look away.
Jo, although thrown slightly off balance, was the first to gather her wits. She used a napkin to wipe her lips and hands and then reached out to introduce herself.
“Joanna Starska, captain of the Luna. People call me Jo, but apparently you already know that.”
“Yes, I do,” he answered calmly and resumed eating, the corners of his mouth still rising in a light smile.
This startled Jo even more.
It didn’t take long for them to start talking as if they’d known each other for years. They didn’t notice the canteen filling up with new guests. Among them Alec and his wife Diana, who quickly spotted Jo chatting cheerfully with a strange man. Diana immediately began watching her husband’s behaviour, waiting for a reaction. They walked to the bar and ordered food.
A moment later they were joined by Leon, Eric and Margaret. Diana motioned over to her friend to talk to her privately, while her husband started chatting with Leon.
“Any word on the volunteers for the rescue mission?”
“Don’t think anyone’s volunteered yet. Levi’s still waiting. Why? You planning to volunteer?”
Leon and Eric exchanged knowing glances. Alec was hardly likely to stick his neck out for David. The commando moved closer to Leon and whispered.
“Have you cast my runes yet, as I asked you?”
Leon took Alec aside.
“Yes I have. The first rune was Isa,” he whispered. “It means ice. You know – ‘ice is extremely cold, immeasurably slippery. It glistens clear as glass. Most like to gems. A floor wrought to frost is a fair sight’.” He smiled at the commando, amused by his own quotation from the old-English description of the rune. “It means that the solution to your problem depends on you and you alone. You have to focus and act decisively, because beauty is accompanied by danger. It also suggests that you are now frozen in some way.”
“What’s that thing about beauty and danger?” Alec didn’t understand most of what he’d been told. Leon lowered his voice even more.
“You’re a handsome man and women find you attractive.” He scratched his ear. “But you’re dangerous as well…”
“What on earth are you talking about, man?” Alec was bewildered. He considered himself neither particularly handsome nor dangerous.
“You have a talent for, somehow, placing charms on people… evil charms… or even…” However, he couldn’t find the right words.
“Or even what?” Alec pressed, intrigued.
“You are even capable of killing the ones you love…”
“Oh please. Don’t give me any of that nonsense,” the commando cut him short. “Just go on with the runes. What else?” He knew that Nordic magic was Leon’s hobby. The divinations were something that gave him hope and comfort.
“The second rune is Raidho,” the pilot went on. “A journey awaits you, a long one. You’ll be moving house soon.”
Alec raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“And the last one is Ehwaz. You’ll have to act, but you won’t be alone. The rune clearly indicates some sort of partnership.”
“And what about Jo?”
“Sorry man… didn’t really read the runes with women in mind…”
Alec gave him a disappointed look, then thanked him and started back towards the bar.
Meanwhile in a far corner of the room Diana grabbed Margaret’s arm.
“Is something wrong, Diana?”
“Yes.” She glanced at the table where Jo and Victor were sitting with a strange expression on her face.
“Listen, Meg, there’s something I have to tell you...”
As she spoke her eyes travelled anxiously between Alec and Jo.
“What is it, Diana?” Margaret encouraged her.
The two friends moved on to sit at a table.
“I can’t take it anymore,” Diana started. “I simply have to know.”
“Diana, please stop doing this to yourself.” She took her friend by the hands. “I really don’t think Alec still feels anything for Jo.”
Diana reached into her pocket and produced her husband’s photo with his old girlfriend and showed it to Margaret.
“You know perfectly well that there used to be something special between them.” She quickly pocketed the photo as she saw Alec coming in their direction with plates in his hands. “I must know the truth. You’ll hook me up to the…”
“Are you insane?” Margaret couldn’t restrain herself, attracting the attention of the people around them.
“Calm down.” Diana tried to quieten her. “Please. You have to upload Jo’s memory to me!”
Margaret wanted to get up and walk away, but her friend forced her to remain seated. She could no longer bear to listen to Diana’s crazy ideas. She’d already gone too far with this.
“Do it for my baby’s sake, I have to know the truth about his father, my husband.” Alec was almost at their table. “I’ve had enough of his lies!”
The man set the plates at the table and said he would fetch something to drink.
“You must help me. Please understand…”
“Diana, we don’t even have the access code. Even if I did want to help you, we couldn’t do anything without it. Anyway, I never agreed to any uploading. You said you only wanted a copy!”
“I know.” She lowered her voice even though she’d much rather be screaming with all the anger boiling inside her. “I also know the commodore has the codes. Get them from him,” she finished in an imperative tone and turned around to look at Jo again, but there was now no one at the table.
Victor calmly strolled alongside Jo with his hands in his pockets. They talked a lot, although he had warned her earlier he was much more of a listener than a speaker. He was himself surprised by his talkativeness this evening. They marvelled at the wonders of modern technology, stopping by a workshop with state-of-the-art engines set up for repairs, raising their voices whenever the hum of machinery got too loud.
