She stiffened instinctively as anger roiled through her. She opened her mouth to snap at Louis, when Steen’s expression stopped her.
He was staring at her so intently she felt as if he’d stripped her soul bare. His gaze flicked to Louis’s arm, then to the huge diamond ring, and then back to her face, searching her eyes as if he could ferret out every last secret that she’d hidden inside her. Hope leapt through her, hope that maybe, just maybe, he could see her truth, that she wasn’t too good for him, that she would never treat him the way everyone else in his life had treated him.
Time seemed to stand still as she waited for his reaction. She had tried so often to convince him, and finally, she realized he had to decide for himself. So, she didn’t defend herself. She said nothing. She simply waited, her heart thundering as she waited for Steen to speak.
Louis stuck out his free hand, still not releasing her shoulders. “I’m Dr. Louis Armstrong, Erin’s husband. Who are you?”
Steen looked at Erin. “I’m the guy who loves her.”
“You are?” Tears burned in her eyes, and she couldn’t keep the huge smile from lighting up her face. “You do?”
Louis’s arm tightened around her. “Did you not hear me say I was her husband?”
Steen ignored Louis, instead, staring at Erin, speaking directly to her, as if Louis’s arm wasn’t around her and he wasn’t trying to shove a massive diamond ring onto her hand. “She died,” he said. “She didn’t leave me. She died coming back to me. My mom.”
Erin’s heart softened for him. She wanted to hug him, but she didn’t move. She still didn’t know why he was there, or what he wanted. “Of course she didn’t leave you. What woman would ever leave you?”
“You did.”
She shook her head. “You let me go. There’s a difference. I tried—”
“I know.” Steen suddenly reached for her, enfolding her hand in his. “I know you tried. I know you gave me your heart and your soul, but what I didn’t know was that I gave mine right back to you.”
She pressed her lips together, fighting against the emotions threatening to overtake her. “I knew you did. But it wasn’t enough, was it?”
Steen shook his head. “That’s where I was wrong.” He tugged on her, pulling her away from Louis. Neither one of them acknowledged his sputter of fury as Steen took both her hands in his. “Here’s the deal, Erin. My past hasn’t changed. I’m still going to be living under that shadow. I can’t change that. But I heard what you said about the horses. You’re right. They matter to me. I’m going to work with them. It’s what I need to do.”
She nodded. “I’m so glad. You’ll do great things for those horses.” She had to ask, ask for the words she knew would never come. “Why are you here? In Virginia? At my parent’s country club?”
“There are horses all over the place. Chase asked me to stay on the ranch.” He shrugged, and touched the brim of his battered old hat. “I could do it, but I can’t stand to be there alone. I need you with me.”
Her heart seemed to come alive for the first time in her life, thundering in her chest. “You do?”
“But I won’t ask you to give up your career. I saw your interview. I know you’re amazing and talented, and I won’t ask you to give it up. I can petition the court to move my parole to Virginia—”
“Parole?” Louis interrupted. “Parole? You’re a convict?”
Steen’s gaze flashed to Louis. “I was in prison for attempted murder,” he said softly. “Don’t push me.”
Erin could barely stifle a giggle when she saw Louis turn ashen and hurry away to talk to her parents, who were watching the scene with shocked faces. She was sure they were horrified at the sight of Steen in his cowboy hat and jeans, and she didn’t care. She looked back at Steen. “They’re going to call the police. You should go.”
“I got permission to leave the state. Pointer’s dad pulled some strings for me. It turns out, saving his son’s life made him like me, and the man has connections.” He cradled her hands against his chest, searching her face. “Here’s the thing, Erin. I know you’re a thousand times more than what I could ever be, and I can’t offer you country club dinners, but I can swear on my mother’s soul to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I will always stand by you, I will always be proud of you, and I will always be the best man I can be for you. I will always, without fail, love you with every last bit of my heart. I’ve loved you since you were fourteen years old, and I will love you until the end of time.”
This time, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “I love you, too, Steen.”
He went down on one knee, and took her hand in his. “I will be yours in whatever way you’ll have me. If you want me to walk away, I will. If you want me to move to Virginia, I’m on it. If you want to live on the ranch with me, I’ll build you the best damned house anyone ever lived in.”
She knew what her answer was, oh, she knew, but before she answered, she had to ask him. “When did you realize that what you can give me is enough?”
He looked up at her. “When I realized that my mom had died for me. She didn’t need to get a real job for me. Just her alone would have been enough. All I wanted was for her to love me. Her love would have been enough for me, which made me realize that maybe, just maybe, my love would be enough for you.”
She went down on her knees so she was level with him and framed his handsome face with her hands. “Being loved by the person you love isn’t simply enough. It’s everything.”
For the first time, hope hovered in his eyes, chasing away the shadows that had been haunting them for so long. “You’re my everything, Erin. I love you.”
“You’re my everything, Steen. You always have been.” Her throat was tight, but she knew she had to get out the words before she was crying too much to talk. “I just told my parents I was quitting my job and moving west to open a regular vet clinic. I need a place to live, and a roommate to split the bills.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I pick you.”
Disbelief swept over his face. “Really? You want to move to the ranch with me?”
She grinned. “Really. If you’ll have me.”
“Damn woman. I’d have given my soul for another minute with you. To have you with me forever? It’s more than I could ever have dreamed. Before you, I didn’t even know this existed.” He pressed his palm over her heart. “Love, passion, commitment, trust. You showed it to me, and you taught me to believe.” He slipped his hands into her hair, gently tugging her closer to him. “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, bird girl.” Then he kissed her, a kiss that was so private, and so personal, and so beautiful that she knew she had finally found where she belonged: in the arms of the man who had won her heart so many years ago.
Chapter 19
Steen paused in the doorway of Chase’s living room, taking a moment to survey the scene. Mira and Erin were sitting side by side on the couch, going over paint swatches. Mira’s belly was enormous now, and Steen half-expected that baby to pop out at any second, though his brother assured him they still had another couple months to go. Chase was leaning back in the easy chair, with a glass of lemonade in his hand, watching the women with the most satisfied expression on his face.
Steen knew that expression, because he felt the same way. So damned happy. He never thought he’d walk into Chase’s living room and feel comfortable, but he did. He loved coming in here and knowing that he belonged, that he was slowly building connections he’d never had before.
It would take time, but it felt good. Really damn good. And it was all because of Erin.
It was a familial scene, one with women’s laughter and pastel colors for the baby’s nursery. There was a fire in the fireplace, and pictures on the mantle. It was a place he never, ever thought he’d be, but with Erin to support him, he was learning how to navigate it.
Granted, his favorite time of the day was retiring to the bunkhouse each evening with Erin, but a few dinners with his brother and Mira w
eren’t so bad. Not bad at all, in fact.
As he stood there with drinks in his hand, Erin looked up. She immediately smiled, the kind of warm, just-for-him smile that always melted his heart. He grinned back and walked into the room. He handed Mira her lemonade, then sat next to Erin and gave her the glass of wine he’d poured for her.
Yeah, there wasn’t much space on the couch, but he needed to be beside her. He always needed to be beside her, touching her, talking to her. He wanted her input in the plans for their new house, and for the vet clinic he was going to attach to it. Of course, Josie already had her clinic in town, but she’d been thrilled to have Erin set up shop. Apparently, she hadn’t been able to keep up with the demand, and there was plenty of market share.
Erin held up a pale pink color swatch. “What do you think of this?”
He raised his brows. “I thought it was a boy. Not sure he’ll be okay with that.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not for them. For us.”
He stared at her, and his gut suddenly dropped out of his stomach. “For us? Are you—” His gaze dropped in shock to her belly, and a thousand emotions rushed through him.
Her face paled. “No. I meant for the waiting room at the clinic.”
“Oh.” He couldn’t stop the crash of disappointment that plummeted through him.
She stared at him. “I thought you wanted to wait until you were done with your parole and were totally free before we got married or had children. Did you want me to be pregnant just then?”
“Shit, yeah. I mean, yeah, to wait. But—” He jerked his gaze to hers. “When you just said…I thought…” He spread his hands. “I don’t know. It just…the thought of you being a mom…it felt right.”
Her face softened. “And what about you being a dad? How did that feel?”
Steen looked across the room at his brother, feeling helpless. What the hell did he know about being a parent? Chase nodded once, grinning at him “You’ll figure it out.” As Chase spoke, Mira got up, walked over to him, and snuggled into his lap.
His brother rested his hand possessively on Mira’s belly and pressed a kiss to her hair. “It’s all good, bro. You’ll be fine.”
Steen looked back at Erin, who was watching Mira and Chase with a wistful expression on her face. He’d never seen such stark longing, and a part of his gut twisted up. “Erin.” He spoke softly, just for her.
She turned back toward him, and the wistfulness was gone, replaced with the same look of tenderness she always reserved just for him. “Yes?”
“I’m so sorry we’re not married yet.”
The wistfulness came back into her eyes. “Steen. I would marry you in a heartbeat, but I understand that your sense of honor guides you. You want to give me a chance to leave if your past becomes too much.” She tucked her feet up beneath her as she slipped her hands around his neck. “You need to understand that you could be on parole for the rest of your life, and I will never leave you.” She took his hand and placed it over her heart. “You’re my home, Steen. You’re my heart. You’re my everything. I spent my life waiting for people to look at me with the respect I wanted, and I almost destroyed myself in my effort to impress others. I don’t care about that anymore. I just care about the man I love.”
Steen’s throat tightened, and his eyes suddenly felt like they were burning. “How did I get so lucky to find you?”
She shrugged. “It took kind of a long time. It wasn’t exactly easy.”
“No, it wasn’t.” He slipped his finger beneath her chin and kissed her lightly. “It was worth everything I endured, because it made me end up with you.” He pushed her hair behind her ears, staring down into the face of the only person in the world who mattered to him, though Chase and Mira were starting to claim their space. None of the other Stocktons had come by yet, and he wasn’t sure how he’d feel when they showed up, but he was willing to try. But in the meantime…. “I swear I’ll marry you,” he said, pressing a kiss to Erin’s lips. “I bought the ring.” His heart lifted when he saw her face light up. “I’m just waiting until I can give it to you, but I needed to have it.” He needed the tangible reality of their future that the ring gave him, but he couldn’t give it to her yet. He needed her to be free to leave him, and he couldn’t give her the ring until he knew that she would never want to walk away from the baggage he brought with him.
“Don’t tell her you bought a ring,” Mira protested. “That takes all the surprise out of it. A woman needs romance.”
“Like being proposed to in a tree?” Chase teased. “Was that romantic enough for you?”
She giggled at him, and whispered something to Chase that had them both laughing and whispering.
Steen kept his focus on Erin. “When Chase and Mira get married in a few weeks, it might make you uncomfortable, but I don’t want you to doubt how I feel about you. I want you to be certain of my intentions.” He still couldn’t believe all his brothers except Caleb would be coming for the wedding. He wasn’t ready to face them yet.
She nodded. “I do know, but I appreciate you telling me. It feels good to hear it aloud.” Her eyes sparkled. “Can I peek at the ring?”
He grinned. “No, of course not—”
A heavy knock sounded on the front door, and Steen tensed. “Zane?” he guessed. Zane was the brother most likely to stop by, but he hadn’t heard the roar of his motorcycle.
“I don’t know. It’s late.” Chase started to untangle himself from Mira, but Steen stood up. “I’ll get it.”
He had to face his brothers at some point. He had to learn who they were. He strode across the door and pulled it open.
It wasn’t Zane.
It was Thomas Smith, Pointer’s dad. He was wearing pressed jeans and a sweater, but his dress shirt was untucked, as if he’d barely managed to pull himself together before heading out. Steen’s first thought was of the young man they both knew. “Is Pointer okay? You need something?”
He ignored Steen’s questions. “May I come in?” The cultured tones of Thomas’s voice no longer felt so threatening to Steen. He knew that Thomas was on his side, and the man was willing to throw considerable weight around for him.
“Of course.” He stepped back as Erin and the others stood up. “This is my brother, Chase Stockton, his fiancée Mira Cabot and my…” He met Erin’s gaze. “My…” He wanted to say fiancée. Wife. Anything to show how special she was. Girlfriend seemed pathetically inadequate, and he wouldn’t say fiancée until she was wearing his ring. So, he simply settled for her name. “Erin Chambers.” His fiancée. He wanted to say it, but he didn’t dare. It wasn’t fair to her. All he could offer was the tone of his voice when he said the words, as if he could somehow inject into her name how deeply he felt about her. He knew it wasn’t enough, but he couldn’t take more from her, not yet. He instinctively glanced at Erin’s face to make sure she was okay with it.
Her smile said she was, as did the way she slipped around the end of the couch and walked over to stand beside him, gently sliding her hand into his. Steen grinned at the man.
Thomas smiled at Erin. “So this is the woman you ran off to Virginia to track down. I guess it paid off.”
Steen grinned. “Yeah, it did. She took me back.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me ‘sir.’ Just Thomas.”
Steen nodded. Thomas was a man who had always been so far above him in life, and now he was just Thomas. It felt good, really good. “Can I offer you a drink?”
“Hell, no. I need to get going.” Thomas’s blue gaze settled on Steen’s. “I’ve been working all my contacts to try to get Pointer’s conviction overturned. He’s a good kid, and he got caught up in the aftermath of my work. He made a mistake, but it wasn’t his fault, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get him out of there.”
Hope leapt through Steen. “Is that why you’re here? Is Pointer free?”
“He sure is.” A broad grin broke over Thomas’s face. “I’m on my way now to pick him up.”
Steen grinned. “That’s fantastic.”
“Yes, it is.” Thomas’s smile faded. “But if you hadn’t saved his life, it would have been too late. I owe you.”
Steen put his arm around Erin and pulled her against him. “No, you don’t. We’re even. I got the girl. We both got the one we loved. We’re more than even.”
“Not yet.” Thomas held out a folded paper. “When I had my team researching your mother, we uncovered a lot more about you. The truth.”
Steen frowned as he took the paper. “What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t try to murder anyone. You know it, the lying bastard knows it, and now the governor knows it.”
“What?” Steen stared at the older man. “What are you talking about?”
Thomas just nodded at the paper. “Open it.”
Steen slowly, disbelievingly, unfolded the paper. Erin leaned over his arm, reading with him. He saw the letterhead. He saw his name. He saw the word pardoned. And the word innocent. Erin made a small noise of disbelief, and Steen felt his whole body begin to shake. He stared at Thomas. “What is this?”
“You’re a free man, Steen. You’ve been pardoned. It’s over.” He met his gaze. “I could have asked for a retrial, but those take time and anything can happen. I wanted it over. The governor pardoned you based on several private, off-the-record, confessions to the governor at his home that I…facilitated.” He winked, leaving no doubt that those private confessions had not been obtained easily. “The other parties involved are now being investigated for perjury, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Her father has considerable influence.” Thomas grinned. “Not as much as I have, though.”
Steen felt like his head was spinning, and his hand was shaking. He’d been pardoned. His record expunged. No parole. No conviction. Nothing. Just a new life of complete freedom. “I don’t know what to say—”
“There’s nothing to say,” Thomas said. “It still doesn’t repay my debt to you.” He nodded at the others. “I have to go get my kid,” he said. He held out his hand. “It would be my honor to consider you a friend, Steen.”
A Real Cowboy Knows How to Kiss Page 18
