He nods.
“Shit.” I race away from the bar, knocking over the stool.
My heart is beating mercilessly against my chest as I run outside. Without thinking, I yell.
“Bo?” I look around, a few people turn in my direction, but most ignore me.
I circle the small parking lot, looking for signs of his car, or him. There aren’t any. He’s gone. As I stand in the middle of the lot with my hands on my hips, breathless from frustration, Dane comes outside.
I launch in, “What the hell? He’s been coming here for three or four weeks and he can’t come up and say hello? I would’ve liked to—”
“Whoa, what are you talking about? What happened with you two?” He grips my shoulders.
“Psh,” I huff, “you got four months?”
And, for no good reason whatsoever, I give Dane a rather horrible Cliff’s Notes version of our story. For the love of God, we have a story.
When I finish, we’re still standing in the parking lot and Dane has a stupid grin on his face.
“So?” I ask, bugging my eyes for effect.
“So,” he shrugs before squeezing my shoulders, “what the Christ are you doing here talking to me about this? Go get him.”
Forty-five minutes.
That’s all that separates me from Bo—if I decide to turn left. Home lies an hour and a half to my right. It’s a drive I’ve done every week for the last two months.
Left it is.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Buzz. Buzzzzz.
The sound from the call button on the gate barely drowns out the buzzing of my nerves. It’s 1:00 AM, so I determine—after pressing the buzzer two more times—that Bo is either not home, or he’s ignoring me. The latter is certainly not acceptable after finding out he’s been sneaking around and watching me perform for the last month. I smile, biting my lip. He’s been watching me. I should have known. The last few weeks I’ve felt so good, so alive, on stage. I realize it’s not just because I feel at home on stage—it’s because I feel at home with him.
When he doesn’t answer, I tentatively punch in the code he gave me months ago. It works. With nervous energy, I jump back into my car and head down the long driveway. My heart races when I find the lower driveway empty. He’s not here? He left Delta Blue long before I did. It didn’t occur to me he’d make other plans for the night since it’s already so late.
Wait for him.
I sit on the front steps for ten minutes; hope sinking with each changing number on my cell phone clock. I screwed up. Not recently, but five months ago, when I flipped my hormonal shit and kicked him out of my life. I rejected Bo’s advances, dove into an ill-fated relationship with Adrian—a decent guy who didn’t deserve my mess any more than I deserved his expectations of me—and I, worst of all, left Bo after Rae’s funeral. Shit, I left him. Yeah, he asked me to, but what would have become of us if I had held onto him?
I panic, wondering briefly if it was some test—some grief-soaked test of my faithfulness to ask me to go. When he needed me most. Shit. I jump to my feet and head for the front door—I know it’s not locked.
“Bo?” I try, even though I know he’s not home. You can’t enter a house and say nothing.
On a whim, I decide to call Regan. I know he was meeting up with Bo earlier today—maybe they’re drinking together somewhere now.
Regan answers, sounding exhausted. “November? What the hell? It’s...Jesus, one AM.”
“Shit, Regan, I’m sorry, were you sleeping?”
“Trans-Atlantic shit, remember?” He laughs.
“Sorry. I was just wondering, do you know if Bo had plans tonight?”
Awkward silence.
“Regan?”
“Uhh ...” He sounds conflicted, making me laugh.
“Well, besides hiding in the back of a bar while I performed?”
Regan suddenly sounds more awake. “Did you see him?”
I explain the night’s events to Regan, ending with me standing in the empty foyer of the Cavanaugh house.
“No,” Regan answers, “we met for lunch today, but he didn’t mention anything about his plans for the rest of the night. Sorry, Em.”
“It’s OK, just thought I’d give it a shot. Go back to bed. This was all a dream.” I laugh and hang up.
I quickly decide that I’ll stay here all night if I have to, but I’m not leaving until I talk to Bo. I can’t walk away again without telling him how I really feel. Not again. I decide to wander down to the studio, where I find evidence of Bo scattered everywhere. His guitar. Sheet music with his handwriting. God, even his smell circulates through the eerily silent studio. Sandalwood and sex. I chuckle thinking about the first time I really smelled him, out on the beach behind Finnegan’s five months ago. I glide my fingers across the tops of the piano keys, letting the sounds of a broken scale fill the anxious space around me.
“November?” I jump at Bo’s voice as his heavy footsteps race through the first floor. “Ember?” He calls me again from the top of the stairs. Bo doesn’t wait for my reply as he runs down the stairs. I’m afraid he’ll fall going at that pace.
Only the hall light is on as I wait in the darkness of the studio. I straighten my back and pray that he’ll hear me out when he walks in here. In a second, his broad shoulders fill the doorframe. He flicks a switch that illuminates dim track lighting just above the piano. A second flick turns on a light above his head. I’m breathing through my mouth as he walks slowly toward me.
“You’re here,” he whispers.
I nod. “You watched me sing tonight.”
He nods back.
“And the last few weeks?” I question, knowing the answer.
“Yes.” He shifts side to side and puts his hands in his pockets. With his chin lowered, he looks at me through his thick, gorgeous lashes. “You’re smiling?”
“You make me happy,” I whisper.
I step forward, reaching for his chin with my hand. When my skin connects with his, his lips part with a gasp. His eyes meet mine, and he slightly furrows his brow when he speaks again.
“You’re not mad?”
I smile. “No. I spent months trying to be mad at you for something so stupid, Bo, and I was miserable. Irreparably miserable.” I swallow hard and put my hand down, remembering why I’m here. “I’m sorry, Bo.” My chin quivers as I struggle to maintain composure.
“Oh, my God...Ember...no.” Bo grabs my face with both hands.
I stare into his eyes and it’s there. Everything’s there. Kissing him first in the parking lot of Finnegan’s all those months ago, waking up in his arms, and singing “Heaven When We’re Home” when we were just strangers. Though I suppose we were never really strangers—a thousand lifetimes is a powerful thing. And it’s there.
His thumbs trace my cheeks. “I was never mad at you, ever.”
“I left you after Rae’s funeral ...”
“I told you to go. I needed you to go, Ember.” Bo moves one thumb to my chin and presses down on it to stop the quivering.
“But I love you, Bo. I shouldn’t have left.”
His eyes fill with tears as he smiles. “You loved me enough to leave that day, Ember. I needed to grieve and to be angry. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I would have if you’d stayed.” His hands scoop down my neck and grip my shoulders.
I reach up and pull his hands away from my shoulders and interlace my fingers with his. “Why the hell did you hide from me at Delta Blue?”
He bites his lip. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him bite his lip and it’s driving me crazy.
“The first time I went, I just wanted to see if you were OK. Josh said you were doing well.”
“Ha. I should have learned after the ‘thousand lifetimes’ debacle, that Josh Dixon can’t keep a secret.”
“Good point.” His face relaxes for a moment. “Seriously though, when I saw you, it took my breath away all over again.” He lifts his head and chuckles a little. “You sounded per
fect. I just thought...I don’t know...I didn’t want to ruin you.”
“Ruin me?”
“You just looked so happy. I guess I was kind of afraid that if I barged back in ...” He puts his hands back in his pockets and takes a step back.
“Bo Cavanaugh, you don’t get to decide what’s good for me and what’s not.” I keep my tone light. “You. You’re what’s good for me. I spent the last few months getting healthy for me, but I wanted to make sure that if—like you said—you and I ever got our chance again, that I was perfect for you. For us.”
“I’m sorry about the night of Rae’s funeral.” His voice breaks slightly over the word funeral.
“You needed me. What’s there to be sorry about? I spent five agonizing months trying to be mad at you, but all I did was end up falling deeper in love with you than I even thought I was before. I needed you that night, too.”
He’s standing there, shaking his head with a sexy, crooked grin on his face. I can’t stand it anymore.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Bo
“I needed you that night, too.” Ember lowers her eyes for a fraction of a second, and I grin in disbelief.
We were madly in love with each other this whole time, and both did just enough to screw it up without blowing it into total disrepair. When she looks up, her eyes are ignited with a look I’ve waited months to see cast back in my direction. She arches her eyebrow—always the left one—and steps forward so we’re standing hip to hip. She’s got these crazy-hot knee-high boots on over her jeans that have a heel on them, putting us about eye level with each other. My mind calculates how I could get away with taking those jeans off while leaving the boots on.
Before I can plot any further, she hooks her thumbs through my belt loops—God, I love it when she does that—and tugs so our hips grind into one another as she leans up and kisses me. Hallelujah, Ember is kissing me. She immediately releases her thumbs and weaves her fingers across the back of my neck and through my hair. I’ve never felt anything like her kiss before. If I could feel one thing forever it would be this.
I let her take the lead on this as I slide my hands down her sides and grab her ass with both hands. A hungry sigh leaves her mouth and finds its way into mine. She steps back slowly, begging me to follow as her hands move to my belt, then down the outside of my jeans where she grabs me. I can’t hide how hot she makes me, and I don’t want to.
She backs into the piano, causing my knuckles to pound against a few high keys. Neither one of us pays them any attention. I turn slightly and sit on the bench behind me, pulling her onto my lap. I need the pressure of her body on me. Pulling away from my mouth for the first time, she doesn’t break eye contact with me as she takes off her shirt and lets it fall to the floor. Her breasts are perfect. Everything about her is, but damn, those breasts ...
“Kiss me,” she pleads in a breathy tone when I’m struck stupid by her perfect nipples in that lace bra. She holds my head in her hands with her thumbs just behind my ears. I grab her hips and force her down on me as my tongue licks her from her collarbone to her ear. She groans again, and I can’t hold back any longer.
“We gotta go upstairs.” I hate to pause this moment, but who keeps condoms in a studio?
Ember nods and slides off my lap, leaving her shirt on the floor as she makes a break for the stairs. I chuckle as she runs up the stairs, slapping her ass as we pass through my living room. I take the stairs two at a time as I pass her, heading to the second floor. She snickers just low enough that I know I wasn’t meant to hear it.
We crash into my room, and I lift her into my arms as she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist. I want to be inside her so bad I feel like I’m going to burst through my jeans. I set her on the bed and start to undo my belt. She slaps my hand away and does it herself. When my jeans slide to the floor, I kick off my shoes and step out of my pants all at once. That left goddamn eyebrow of hers shoots sky-high as she toys with the waistband of my boxer briefs.
I place my hands over hers, guiding them down. “Ember ...”
She bites her lip as she pulls my boxer briefs down, sighing through her teeth. Just as I lean forward to push her on the bed, her hands dig into my hips, stopping me. Ember’s tongue dances across her lips for a second, and before I know it, her mouth is on my dick. I nearly lose my balance and have to grip her shoulders for balance.
“Holy shit,” I half-growl through clenched teeth. Her tongue swirls greedily around me, while she slowly moves her head forward and back.
“Mmm,” she hums as her hand holds me in place. I’m going to lose it standing right here if she keeps that up.
I force myself to say the word, “Stop.” I push on her shoulders slightly. “This isn’t going to last very long if you keep doing that, and I want to be inside you. Get up on the bed.”
She grins a wicked grin, cheeks flushed under my command. I take no time unzipping and pulling off each one of her boots while she unbuttons and unzips her jeans. As I toss her second boot to the floor, she has her jeans halfway down her thighs. I want to crack a joke at her eagerness, but it’s not funny. I want it just as bad. I help her pull her jeans and panties—Jesus, her panties match her bra—down her legs, and throw them to the floor.
“Bo ...” she calls out after I’ve rolled on the condom.
I hover over her, staring into her gorgeous green eyes. “I love you,” I say as I slide into her. She moans low and long in response.
She. Feels. Amazing.
I pull out just as slowly as I went in. I grin as she squirms beneath me. Ember roots her feet onto the mattress and lifts her hips, forcing me back into her. She digs her fingertips into my biceps.
“Don’t stop,” she begs.
My tongue finds the silky skin beneath her breast. I lick it feverishly, feeling her pulse quicken beneath my lips. I could stay inside her forever; she drives me numb and makes me feel absolutely everything all at once.
“More,” she moans into my ear.
Before laying her head back down, Ember’s lips capture my earlobe, sending shivers down my neck and arm.
“Damn,” I groan.
“Roll over,” she suddenly commands.
Reluctantly, I pull out of her and quickly flip to my back. She grabs the base of my dick as she straddles me, her eyes teasing. I think she’s going to start slow, but she slides down on me hard. Her insides shock me like a million lightning bolts.
“November...ah ...”
“God, I love it when you say my name.” She leans back and rests her hands on my thighs as she finds her rhythm.
I grab her hips, admiring her perfectly shaped landing strip. She sits up, takes my wrists, and leans forward, planting my hands on the pillow behind me. Ember’s breathless mouth lands on mine, her lips swollen with desire.
“Don’t move,” she instructs as she pulls away.
She shifts a little, so she’s squatting with me still inside her. Her feet are on either side of my hips, and she starts riding the hell out of me.
Her eyes squeeze shut as she throws her head back. “Ahh.”
I’m under her control, and I have the best view in the house as I watch her breasts heave against her heavy breathing. Need takes over and I reach down, pushing her knees out so her feet give way and I’m as deep in her as I can go.
“You don’t move,” I say with as much authority as I can manage.
Her chest collapses onto mine as I grab her tight ass and anchor my feet into the mattress. I thrust into her as hard and fast as I can, making her moan loudly into my neck. I catch a whiff of her perfume from the back of her neck and it drives me near insane. I lift her off me and roll her onto her back. Her hair falls carelessly over her breasts. She’s a goddamn dream.
Pushing faster, I lower my mouth to hers. Her sweet tongue takes over my mouth as I take over her body. She lets go of my arms and claws at the sheets as she arches her back. She’s so damn close, I can feel it. Pulling my mouth away, I suck on one of
her nipples.
“Oh my God ...” she wails, her voice growing hoarse.
I suck hard, pushing deeper and faster inside of her until her entire body clenches around me like a fist and she screams my name. I can’t hold it in. I bury my face between her breasts to keep from biting her nipple too hard as I come harder than I ever have in my life. I stay inside her as we make out deep and hard, holding onto each other as tight as we can.
“I love you,” she whispers between shortened breaths. I kiss her breasts once more before pulling out of her. “That was amazing, Bo.”
“You’re amazing.”
Ember props herself up on her elbows and rolls her neck side to side. I watch goosebumps pop up along her skin. I tug her into me and shimmy under the sheets.
“So,” she asks, propping her chin on my pecs, “what now?” I smile and kiss the top of her head.
“Everything.”
* * *
Dawn breaks, as I lay awake, watching Ember sleep. I’ve been sitting here playing with her gorgeous hair for hours, listening to her breathe as her soft cheek presses against my chest.
“Mmm.” She shifts slightly, nuzzling her chin closer to mine. Her lips seek mine before she opens her eyes, and I happily kiss her back.
“Morning, Beautiful,” I speak onto her lips.
She opens her eyes. “I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you, too.”
“Don’t go anywhere.” She tightens her grip around my waist.
“This is my house,” I chuckle, “where would I go?”
Ember yawns before snuggling back down on my chest. “I mean ever.”
She falls back asleep and I’m left in the most perfect silence in existence.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Ember
“I wish you didn’t have to go today,” Bo says, nuzzling into my neck while I pour coffee.
“Mmm, I know, but, I only have two days of work this week before taking the rest of the week to help Monica’s mom prepare for the wedding on Saturday. Man, I can’t believe it’s already here.” I turn and give him a quick kiss before sitting at the table with my coffee.
Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2) Page 22
