by Colbie Kay
I race on the highway weaving through cars until I hit city limits. Pushing my luck, I decide to try Runaway Tattoo, hoping she'll be there. It’s been a couple of hours since she was at the compound, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to find her.
Pulling up next to the only parked car, I spot her immediately on the sidewalk. She stands straight, her body tensing.
I blurt, "Why did you leave?”
Her mouth drops open for a second before closing, eyes narrowing, and she points at me. “You were the one that left!” Her lips lift into a sneer. “And I guess you were too much of a pussy to show your face when you got back.” Her eyes roam over me and my cut. “You’re one of them?” A look of realization passes through her glare. She crosses her arms over her chest. “How long have you been back? Years?”
Hearing enough, I storm across the lot, backing her into the brick of the building. “I couldn’t bring my damage to you.” I cage her in. Her fruity scent invades my senses. I search her face, drinking in her beautiful features that I’ve missed so fucking much. Those stormy gray eyes that still have the ability to pull me in and make everything except for me and her disappear. Those full lips that I wish would swell from crashing mine against them, and her rosy colored cheeks that I bet I could make even pinker just by telling her how beautiful she is. I lower my tone and speak truthful words. “I’m broken good, and I’ll fuckin’ break you too. I can’t do that to you.”
Her fists land on my chest repeatedly while she screams at me. “You already did that.” I don’t move an inch. She breathlessly gives up, her hard eyes level with mine. “Then why the fuck are you here?”
“Mom?”
I turn in the direction of the young voice.
Daphne answers, “Go back inside. I’ll be just a minute.”
I continue staring at the boy who looks just like me. Same blue eyes, same complexion, same dark hair except he has a mohawk. Son of a bitch! The age he looks, he had to have been conceived about the time I left. He’s mine, he has to be. “The fuck?” I murmur.
Daphne’s attention is directed at me now that the boy went back inside. “You need to leave.” She spews at me.
My eyes have grown wider as I piece shit together. “He’s mine,” I state matter-of-factly. I punch the brick, step away, and storm back to my motorcycle. Ignoring the burning sensation that is shooting through my hand, I start my Harley and ride back to the compound in a daze.
Forcibly pushing the door to the clubhouse open, I stomp to the bar. "Drifter, shot of tequila and keep ‘em comin'!" I shout at the prospect.
I sit on the barstool and cover my face with my hands. "You good?" Drifter asks on the other side of the counter.
Running my hands down my face, I blankly stare at him before replying, "Yeah." I look down at the bar counter and the row of shot glasses he has set up. Taking the bottle of tequila, he holds it over the first and trails a line of liquor, filling each one.
I knocked Daphne up. I take the first shot embracing the burn.
I pick up the second shot. She had to go through that shit without me. I tip my head back and swallow the liquid.
The third. I'm a fucking father. I tip it back.
Fourth. I fucked up. I’m a piece of shit.
"Hey." Jacey sits next to me. "Are you okay?"
I stare straight ahead with the fifth in my grip. "Did you know?"
"Know what?" Confusion is laced in her quiet voice.
I take the shot, slam the glass on the counter, and cut my eyes to hers. "Daphne had a son?"
Her brows pull down. "No." She shakes her head. "All any of us knew is that she was bringing someone with her. We haven't spent that much time with her and she doesn't talk about her personal life. I didn't know until Zoey told me tonight."
I watch for any sign of dishonesty, but she's telling the truth, her eyes never leave mine. "He's mine."
She gawks at me and asks in disbelief, "He's what?"
"He's my son." I take another shot.
She shakes her head. "Okay, I think you've had enough." She tries pushing the glasses away from me, but I knock her hand away.
I laugh without humor. "Not by a fucking long shot."
"How is that even possible?" She stares at me in bewilderment.
With a grim expression, I tell Jacey what no one else knows. "’Cause I've loved her since the day I met her when I was fucking seven-years-old, and then I fucked up." My eyes burn with unshed tears. I stand from the barstool and trek to my room.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I bend over and pull a box out from underneath. I take the lid off and reach inside for the teddy bear Daphne gave me the day we met. Holding it to my chest, I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling.
I watch Daphne run back to her house because her mom called her home. I stand up from the curb, turn, and walk into my new home with Daphne’s bear. "Who was that?" Mom asks while she unpacks one of the boxes in the front room.
"Daphne Brooks. She lives next door." I hold the bear up. "She gave me her bear."
"That was nice of her. She's pretty." She sets one of her little things that I'm not allowed to touch on a shelf. She always tells me it's glass and if I broke it, it would hurt me.
I nod with a big smile. "The prettiest."
Mom puts her hand on her hip and faces me with her own smile. "Hey now, you always say I'm the prettiest," she teases me.
"Daphne has to be the prettiest now." My smile grows bigger, I look at the bear while flipping it over in my hands.
She laughs. "Why is that?"
"’Cause I'm gonna marry her." I run to my room to put the bear in a safe place.
Another memory blasts me.
Daphne runs outside of her house and opens the passenger side door of my Ford pickup. "Hey." My lips turn up. She looks beautiful in the white summer dress, cowboy boots, and her dark hair curled and hanging loosely down her back.
"Hey." She shoots into the middle, sitting right next to me. Meeting in the middle, our lips softly press together.
Pulling back, I ask, "Ready to go?"
She nods as I put my truck in drive and lay one hand on her soft smooth thigh.
We drive with the radio blaring until we hit the country road and finally, we get to the spot our group of friends chose to have the bonfire. I back in close enough so that we can sit on my tailgate but still have heat from the fire. It's not like we need it since the summer heat has no cool breeze tonight. Daphne jumps out and runs over to the girls, hugging each of them. I join the guys and Darrin hands me a can of beer as we all bump fists. This will be the last year we're all together. Most of us are graduating except Daphne, Lindsay, Nick, and Justin.
Darrin holds his beer up. "To starting senior year."
"Fuck yeah!" Wes yells, probably already drunk.
I laugh, shake my head, and take a drink.
Walking back over to my truck, I let the tailgate down and hop onto it, sitting with my legs hanging over. Daphne comes over and I help her up, having her sit in between my thighs. I wrap my arms around her as she leans back into my chest to watch our friends and the burning fire.
A few minutes later, Daphne absently asks, "What do you see in your future, Dev?"
"Where'd that come from?" I laugh lightly.
I feel her shrug against my chest. "Just thinking about next year. Most of our friends will be leaving and you won't be next door to me.”
Looking up at the moonlit sky for a moment, I kiss the back of her head and shoulder. We've been dating for the last year, but Daphne has been my best friend for over half my life, since the day she gave me that damn bear. I don’t remember a time since the day we met that I haven’t loved this girl.
"I see you. You, Daph, are my future," I whisper against her ear.
"You're mine too, Dev. I can't imagine you not being around anymore." I hear the tremor in her tone.
"Shh. Let's not think about it." I move the hair off her shoulder, find the crook of her neck, and kiss her soft
flesh. Her fruity scent invades my senses. "I'll love you forever, Daph," I quietly tell her.
She shivers. Her skin pebbles, not from the air, but from my touch. I love the effect I have on her. "I'll love you forever too, Dev." She turns her head enough for her lips to find mine. She opens willingly for me, my tongue slides against hers.
And another.
Daphne fists my shirt, her forehead pushes into my chest, and my arms are wrapped around her tightly as she cries. "Please, don't go!" She begs. My own eyes sting with threatening tears.
"I'm sorry." I don't know what else to say. I'm watching the girl I love fall apart in my arms, and it's all my fault.
She lifts her head, eyes glaring with an anger I've never seen from her. "You're not sorry!" She pushes against my chest repeatedly. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't be fucking leaving me!" The final push and I release her. I stand frozen in the middle of the street, staring at her back as she runs to her house.
When I can't see her anymore, I take slow steps back to my own house, next door, and sit on my front porch. Looking over, her bedroom light turns on, and a few minutes later, goes back out.
What have I done? I release a deep breath of air. It's too late to reverse it. The papers are already signed. I run my fingers through my dark hair and grab fistfuls. I can't tell her the real reason I enlisted.
I stay outside for hours, thinking about her, staring between nothing and her bedroom window. The same window I've snuck into many times before. She should be asleep now. I stand up and walk over to her window. It's inched open just like it is every night. I quietly open it the rest of the way, and with stealth precision, I climb through and stand in the dark corner of her room.
The moonlight casts a faint glow across her. She's still the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She always will be, even if I can’t make her my wife. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, but she looks so peaceful in her sleep. Not moving a muscle, I stay as quiet as possible while I watch her for the last time before I leave.
Her lips part and she mumbles something that sounds like my name, but it's hard to know for sure. "Dev," She whimpers louder. Shit! I want to go to her so fucking bad, but I can't. I already did enough damage. What I wouldn't give to hold her one last time. I told her I would be back after basic training, but I won’t be. She sits up quickly, squinting her eyes, and looks around her room like she can sense my presence, but lays back down without noticing me in the darkness.
I whisper, "I'll love you forever, Daph." With a heavy sigh and sagging shoulders, I climb back out the window. Returning to my house, I check the front door, and finding it unlocked, I quietly step inside, and stroll through the dark house into my bedroom.
Sitting at my desk, I write a letter to my mom and put it in an envelope, then write “mom” on the front. Grabbing my already packed bag and truck keys, I leave my room, drop the letter on the kitchen counter, and take the final step out the front door.
I wait at the bus station until it's time for me to go. Picking my seat on the bus, I stare out the window and watch everything disappear from my sight as I leave it all behind.
Leave her behind.
I put the final touches on the stencil for Emery’s new tattoo, but I've been working on other pieces this last week since Devon showed up here at the shop.
Scooting back in my chair, I look down at my desk gazing at the old-style microphone and musical notes I've made for her. It's perfect and she's going to love it. I smile at the art I've created before my gaze travels to the other drawing. The skin ripping open, the heart prominent, and the dog tags on a silver chain wrapping around, squeezing the heart. My smile falters. It's a beautifully tragic piece, but did I draw it for myself or for Devon?
The bell on the front door chimes, alerting me someone has entered Runaway Tattoo. Audrey comes back and knocks on my opened office door. My eyes meet hers. "Emery's here."
"Send her back." I hide my drawing in the top drawer of my desk and grab her stencil.
"Hey, Daphne!" Emery beams brightly and plops down in one of the chairs.
"Hey, Em! You ready to get some ink?" I lay the stencil down on the desk in front of her. I've done all her work, but she's my best friend and I'd be pissed if she went somewhere else.
"Oh." She murmurs staring at the stencil. Her eyes lift. "This is beautiful!"
I smirk. "I knew you'd love it. Let's get started." We both stand from our chairs and I lead the way into another room.
She sits down on the chair while I start to get everything ready. "How's Dawson and the guys?"
When Emery first started as the new manager for The Betrayed, it was rough between her and Dawson, the lead singer, but they ended up falling in love and are now engaged. I'm happy for her, she deserves to get the happily ever after bullshit.
Anyone would be an idiot to not fall for her. She's gorgeous. Emery Ashland has that 50s pinup look down perfectly with her fire engine red hair and emerald green eyes.
"They're good. Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to hang out tonight? Traxton has Sicily, and the guys are in the studio recording before we head out on the next tour in a few weeks."
I turn the music up, sit on my stool, and put on my gloves. "I'd love that! Girl, I have some shit to tell you!"
She laughs. "Oh no! What happened?"
She holds her arm out. "I saw Devon last week." I pop the cover off of a new razor. Even though there may not be much hair in this area it still needs to be shaved.
"You what?" She shouts with saucer-sized eyes as I begin sliding the razor against her skin, throwing it away once I am done.
I nod, grab a paper towel, and fold it into a square. Taking my solution of water and rubbing alcohol, I wet it and clean the area I just shaved. I apply Stencil Stuff, to her forearm and wait for it to dry for a few seconds.
"How? Why? I don't even know..." She shakes her head flabbergasted by my news.
Placing the stencil on her arms, I make sure it’s positioned correctly and when I pull the paper away she confirms it’s in the perfect spot. My eyes meet hers. "I went with Audrey to that bar-b-que at the Sinners’ Clubhouse."
Her brows knit down. "Yeah, Jacey told me they were having one because someone was being released from prison." Jacey owns the recording studio where Emery's office is, but technically, I guess the guys are Emery's bosses.
I bite the inside of my cheek. "Mmhm. Well, when I was standing there, he walked outside. He's one of them, Em." I stare into her green eyes.
If it's possible, her eyes grow even wider. "He's one of the biker guys?" I nod and cover the outline with Vaseline. "What did you do? Was Zane with you? Did Devon see him?" Her mouth flops like a fish.
I pick up the machine, scoot closer to her, and tap the foot pedal. "I got the hell out of there. Zane was with me and Devon didn't see him until he showed up here." I dip the needle in black ink and begin her outline.
"Devon came here!" She doesn't say it like a question, but a statement full of shock.
I keep my focus on making the perfectly straight lines. "Yep, we had words, he saw Zane, and Devon knew immediately that Zane was his."
She sits completely still as the needle digs into her skin. "Then what happened?"
I shrug nonchalantly. "He left and I haven't seen him since."
"Do you want to?"
"I don't know. I'm still in shock that I saw him. I was angry. All the hurt surfaced, but I haven't stopped thinking about him." I keep remembering how sexy he looked standing there in his cut, the hard roughness that was palpitating off him, and the way it felt to be caged in with his huge body surrounding me.
"That's understandable. What about Brad?"
"I've been avoiding him."
She releases an exaggerated huff. "What is this? The return of the baby daddies?"
I bust out laughing at her question. The first tour Emery went on, she came face to face with Sicily's dad, Traxton. It's funny how our stories are so similar. Maybe that's why we became so clo
se.
The next few hours are quiet. I zone in on my art, letting the vibration of the machine soothe me, bringing the tattoo to life on her body. I take pride in every piece I do because someone is going to wear my art for the rest of their lives. They are going to show it off, and I want them to be proud of the ink they display.
Turning the machine off, I grab a new paper towel, spray some solution on it, and clean her tattoo. It looks amazing!
"Okay, go take a look." She stands from the chair and saunters to the mirror, checking out the new ink. My phone begins to ring. It's Brad. Shit! Removing my gloves, I answer, "Hello."
"Hey, babe!" I roll my eyes.
I start to clean my work area. "Hey. What's up?"
"Wanna hang out tonight?"
"Um. I actually have plans with Emery." Thank God for my best friend with perfect timing. I’ve been avoiding him because it’s not right to be with him while my mind is on another man.
"Guess I'll see ya’ then." He hangs up without a goodbye.
I know he's probably getting fed up with my excuses, but I just can't right now. I'm going to have to tell him sooner rather than later that I can't be with him.
"It's perfect!" Emery sits back in the chair. I bandage it up, and no need to go over the cleaning process with her, she already knows it. "Thanks, Daphne!"
I smile proudly. "You're welcome! I'm glad you love it!" The happiness written in her features is exactly why I love doing this type of work. "I'll call my mom to pick Zane up from school. You wanna come over around seven?"
"Sounds good." I walk out with her and wait until she pays Audrey to give her a hug goodbye.
I wash my hands and return to my office, call my mom, and wait for my next appointment.
I'm finished for the day. I have a couple hours before Emery comes over, so I start gathering my stuff to leave. There's a knock on the door. I look up to find Writer standing in the doorway leaning against the frame. I wave my hand for him to come in and he sits in a chair opposite of me before sliding a piece of paper across my desk. Looking down, I read the words he has written.
