by Jane Bidder
Chapter Twenty
Kayleigh stumbled off the bus, still in a daze. Was she really here or had she made it up the way she often made things up to get away from what was real? Forcing herself to concentrate, she tried to take in her surroundings. There was the park on the other side of the road which seemed to go on and on for ever. There was the boating lake at the far end: she’d remembered that because Marlene had said she wouldn’t mind a go, later.
Her friend had said the word later with a giggle, suggesting that they were going to do something much more interesting first. That was when she and Pete had gone off on their own, leaving her and Frankie alone.
Poor Marlene. If only she could change the past. Kayleigh stopped, looking down on the bench where it had all begun. There was still that sign on the back, that she’d noticed before. “Look, Frankie,” she had said, pointing to it.
The words still got her now, second time round.
‘In memory of Betty who loved sitting here.’
“Isn’t that sweet?” Kayleigh had looked up at Frankie. “Isn’t it nice to think someone cared enough about her to put a sign up like that? Maybe they bought the bench too.” She’d looked at it admiringly. “Must have cost a lot. That person must really have loved this Betty.”
That was when Frankie had pulled her down onto the bench next to him. She could remember it as if he was doing it right now. “I love you, Kayleigh,” he’d said, those green eyes dancing. “One day, I’ll put up a sign for you like this one.”
She’d gasped with the shock. Frankie loved her? Even though they’d only just met? Every time Mum found someone new, she talked about love at first sight. It usually meant a different noise on the other side of the wall.
But this was different. Frankie was the man she’d been waiting for. Kayleigh just knew that. She could tell from the way her heart had started to beat wildly when he’d slid his arm along the back of the bench casually and then lowered his lips gently onto her hers.
“Feeling nervous, are you?” he’d whispered. “This might help.”
That was when he’d kissed her and the pill had slid down her throat. After that, everything had become a bit of a blur …
Kayleigh now shook herself. How could she have been so stupid? Sitting down on the bench, she gripped the side arm. She should have been brave enough to go back to the court, after finding out that Mum was all right. She should have stood up and told them that she stuck to the statement she’d made to the police at the time.
It would have been the right thing to do. But she’d bottled it.
Kayleigh threw a look at the sign on the bench. This Betty wouldn’t have bottled it. She would have been brave and strong. That was why someone had loved her and bothered to remember her after she’d died.
Not like her. I’m unlovable, Kayleigh told herself, getting up and walking towards the boating lake. No wonder no one wants me. I’m not really beautiful like Frankie said. I’ve got orange hair, white skin, and freckles. Even worse, I’m a coward. And the only time I’m really happy is when I’m pretending something else is happening. Even Mr Brown, who’d acted so keen, didn’t fancy her any more. Hadn’t she seen him with her own eyes, getting into another girl’s pants?
A woman walking past with a bicycle, gave her an odd look like she recognised her and Kayleigh felt a weird shiver go through her. It would only be a matter of time now before she was nabbed by the policeman with the cool blue eyes or the social worker with the bouncy orange earrings. They’d take her back to that crazy Marc and Angie or maybe they’d send her somewhere else.
Perhaps, thought Kayleigh in a burst of optimism, she could just hide away until next Wednesday. Her sixteenth birthday. Her knowledge of the law was a bit hazy but Marlene always said you could do what you wanted then.
Perhaps she could live on her own! She might even be able to get a flat if she got pregnant. That’s what Marlene had always planned to do. Kayleigh’s mind went back to her period that had finally arrived, a bit late. In some ways, that was just as well. She didn’t want his kid now. Not after what he had just done. But maybe she could get pregnant by someone else. It was a way out, wasn’t it? ’Sides, she’d give anything for a kid. A baby who would love her unconditionally. She could build herself a real family.
As if on cue, there was a burst of laughter from the family on the boating lake. Kayleigh eyed them enviously. The laughter came from the woman who was sitting at one end while one of the kids rowed and the dad was showing him how to do it.
Had her real dad ever shown her how to do something before he had walked out? If so, she couldn’t remember. Kayleigh walked on past the boating lake a little faster now, glancing over her shoulder. Bloody hell. What was that noise?
Ducking under a tree, she waited until it had passed. An ambulance, she noticed with relief. Not a police car. She reached a gate now, leading out of the park on the other side. There was a sign.
‘To the beach’
She’d like to see the sea. They were going to do that, her and Frankie and Marlene and Pete, when they’d first set out that day. But they’d never got there because the other stuff had happened instead.
Now, as Kayleigh made her way uncertainly down the dusty footpath, she gazed at the water in front of her. How beautiful! You could almost touch those sparkly bits with your finger. You could run into the water and feel it splashing up around you.
It would wash her clean. Take away the horror of Marlene and Mum and Frankie and everyone else … Wow! The sea was so cold! Running out again, Kayleigh realised too late she’d forgotten to take off her trainers in her keenness to get in. Maybe if she sat on that rock over there, she could put them in the sun and let them dry.
“Kayleigh? Is that you?”
She stiffened at the sound of a posh voice coming from behind. Whipping round, she stopped. And gasped. Wasn’t that the woman from the park? The one who had given her fifty quid in the shopping centre?
“No. Please. Don’t go.” The woman caught her by the sleeve. “I’m not going to hurt you or call the police. I’ve come straight from the court, Kayleigh. I’ve got something to tell you. Frankie got ten years. You’re safe!”
Anyone looking at them, thought Kayleigh, might think they were mother and daughter. Lots of kids had different-coloured hair from their parents, didn’t they? She’d have liked a mother like this. Someone who had time to sit down with her and talk to her like an adult. To tell her exactly what had happened.
“People got hurt,” said the woman, her beautiful eyes filling with tears.
Kayleigh gasped. “Stabbed?”
The woman gave a funny smile. “Not in court.”
“It’s not funny,” said Kayleigh fiercely. “If you lived where I did, you’d know that. People get stabbed all the time.”
Alice – “you must call me that, dear” – stopped smiling then. “I’m sorry.” Then she looked away towards the sea. “I got hurt, actually.”
“You did?” Kayleigh looked at her arms and neck. She couldn’t see anything.
“Inside.” The woman was talking to the water. “Someone said something unkind to me in court.”
Kayleigh felt a sharp pang of guilt. “Because of me?”
“No.”
“Yes it was. If you hadn’t gone to court to give evidence, this wouldn’t have happened.”
The woman reached out and touched her arm kindly like Mr Brown used to do after school. “No one blames you, Kayleigh. So you mustn’t blame yourself either. It’s a lesson I’m still learning myself.” She stared dreamily towards the horizon where there was a small boat bobbing. “You know, I often come down here to think.”
“I would too,” said Kayleigh quickly, “if I lived here. It’s really cool, isn’t it? But where I come from, you can’t do much thinking. There’s always an argument or someone wants you to do something you shouldn’t.”
The woman frowned. “My son has been accused of doing something he shouldn’t have.”
“Drugs?”
She nodded.
“I wondered it was him. I read about it in a newspaper. Recognised your name.”
“You read the papers?” Alice Honeybun seemed surprised.
Kayleigh felt offended. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“No, it’s just that …”
“Forget it.” She felt protective towards this woman who had tried to help her and was now so upset. “Tell me more about court. Why you were hurt?”
Alice ‘s eyes deadened. “They said I made things up. Told lies about something that happened when I was younger.” She paused abruptly, before adding. “When I was abused.”
Kayleigh hadn’t realised things like that happened to women like this. Weren’t they too posh?
“I was about your age.” She spoke very slowly. Very deliberately, like every word was a stone you had to walk round carefully. “I should have told someone – someone apart from my mother. She didn’t believe me, you see.”
Kayleigh was riveted. “My mum doesn’t believe me either. What happened to the bloke who did this stuff to you?”
There was a funny little laugh. “Uncle Phil? He’s dying. But he made me forgive him.”
Kayleigh felt a rush of indignation on her new friend’s behalf. “Why did you do it?”
“Because sometimes there’s no point in fighting.”
That’s not true, she was about to say but Alice was now giving herself a little shake and looking directly at her. “What about you, Kayleigh. What are you going to do now? Where will you live?”
Kayleigh shrugged. “I don’t know.” She bit her lip. “Can I trust you to keep a secret?”
The woman nodded uncertainly. “Provided it’s legal.”
“Sort of. I’m meant to be in care but I’ve run away. Don’t look like that. I had to. They were weirdos. If I can hang out a bit, I’ll be sixteen and then no one can stop me from living on my own.”
Alice Honeybun’s eyebrows rose. It was cool, the way they looked. Maybe she plucked them like Marlene. “Isn’t that rather young?”
“Nah!” Kayleigh spluttered. “Loads of girls do that where I live. There’s a kid who’s twelve in the block below us. She hasn’t seen her mother since last summer and she manages. Better off without her, if you ask me.”
There was a murmur of ‘How awful’ although that might have been the kiss of a wave. Once more, Kayleigh looked around, admiring the red cliffs and the pretty houses on the hill. How come some people got to live in a place like this while others, like her, ended up in shitty flats with mould on the walls and Rons in the kitchen. It wasn’t fair.
Alice seemed to be deep in thought now. Not wanting to disturb her, Kayleigh picked up a shell. It was white with a pink tinge. She slipped it in her pocket, hoping no one would notice.
“Kayleigh?”
She flushed. Shit. Now Alice would think she was a thief.
“About that secret I just told you. The thing about my uncle.” She went bright red. “I’d rather you didn’t mention that to anyone else.”
Kayleigh crossed herself – something she’d never done before but somehow it felt right. “Hand on heart. When I like someone, I’ll do anything for them. Anything at all.”
She meant it too. Alice looked a bit startled. “Right. Thanks. Now why don’t you come back to my house for a cup of tea?”
Had she heard her right? Women like this one didn’t ask girls like her back to their house for a cup of tea.
“Please.” To her surprise, Alice’s voice was trembling. “To be honest, I don’t particularly want to go home on my own. That’s why I came here, after getting back from court. My husband is out and … well let’s just say I could do with the company until he gets back. There’s something I’ve got to talk to him about, you see and …”
She broke off.
“You’re scared of him, aren’t you?” Kayleigh suddenly realised.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Alice gave a sort of smile that wasn’t really a smile at all. “Part of me thinks our lives might not be as different as you might think. No. Don’t ask me more. You’ll see.”
Kayleigh’s heart went out to her. Besides, she thought, as they walked through town, past some really pretty shops with surfboards and pictures of beach huts in the windows, it wasn’t as if she had anywhere better to go, was it?
A police car went past and they both stiffened. Then it rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. Shit. What if Alice Honeybun was trying to get her back to her place so she could turn her in to the police or the social worker? Kayleigh was about to leg it when suddenly Alice stopped outside one of those huge tall white houses she’d admired from the bus with a gravel drive leading down. There was a great big car at the bottom.
“My husband’s back,” she heard her say in a hushed voice. “Look. Please don’t leave me, Kayleigh. Please don’t.”
If there was one thing Kayleigh could recognise, it was fear. Real fear.
“OK,” she said, walking nervously down the drive with her. The promise made her feel special. Important. “But what …”
She broke off as suddenly the front door swung open. This place was so big! It must be a whole load of flats bunged together. But then this thought was replaced by apprehension as she took in the man’s stern face which looked first at her and then Alice.
“What the hell have you got us into this time?” he yelled.
Alice, next to her, had gone pale. “You mean, what have you got me into? You didn’t even have the guts to come to court to hear all those nasty things you told the police.”
“What are you talking about?” His eyes were wet, Kayleigh realised. This grown man was crying!
Alice noticed it too. “Something’s happened, hasn’t it?” She clutched his arm. “Is it Garth?”
“Mungo.” There was a loud sob. “I couldn’t be in court because I was at the vet’s. They’ve poisoned him.”
Chapter Twenty-one
When Alice had first seen Daniel glaring from the front door, she’d presumed he was going to defend himself for having told the court about their sex life. After all, who else could have done so?
But now, Daniel’s words blew the ones she had prepared in her head (like “how could you?” and “do you want a divorce?”) out of her head.
“I couldn’t be in court because I was at the vet’s. They’ve poisoned him.”
“The vet poisoned him? Alice stared incredulously at her husband. Impossible. Yet things happened like that, didn’t they? Mistakes were made. A dim but horrible memory came back of a neighbour whose cat had died during a routine neutering operation.
“Not the vet.” Daniel’s eyes were watery. She’d only once seen him cry and that was when Garth had been born. He turned away but not before Alice saw a tear trickle down his right cheek. “It was that lot,” he said angrily. “Friends of the boy whom you were testifying against. Those letters you were sent. We should have taken more notice of them. None of this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been so keen on being a bloody witness.”
I wasn’t keen, Alice tried to say. I felt I had to do it. But instead her knees began to knock together as though some unseen force was moving them. Unable to stand, she sank onto the bottom step in the hall, right below the framed photograph of Garth in his blue and red uniform, on his first day at school.
“How did it happen?” Her voice didn’t belong to her. It was surely owned by another woman. Someone else whose dog had been poisoned. Not her. Not Mungo who would come racing any minute, out of the kitchen, pawing at her for a walk.
“They slung a piece of poisoned meat through the cat flap.” Daniel’s back was to her and she knew from the choked sound in his throat that he was desperately trying to control himself. “I heard the noise of a car from upstairs while I was getting dressed to come to court.” He whipped round. “To support you.”
Daniel spat out the word ‘support’ like a stone in anger; making her flinch. “I found Mungo chewi
ng at a piece of meat.” He covered his face with his hands. “I tried to make him sick by putting my fingers down his throat …”
Alice heard herself let out an anguished cry.
“So I just grabbed him and the meat that he hadn’t eaten and bundled him into the car.” Daniel’s knuckles were white on the back of the big wooden hall chair which still bore puppy teeth-marks from the days when Mungo chewed everything in sight. “But he began fitting before we got to the vet’s.”
“No,” whispered Alice. “No.”
“Is he dead?” asked a voice.
She’d forgotten the girl was there. Still standing by the door; face tight; eyes wild and searching.
“Who’s that?” demanded Daniel as if he hadn’t noticed her existence earlier on.
His question seemed superfluous in the light of Kayleigh’s. Alice had presumed Mungo was dead but now a glimmer of hope hung before her like the thin cobweb which, she noticed irrelevantly, glimmered in the dusty sunlight from the staircase above.
“IS HE DEAD?” thundered Alice in a voice which came from a place inside her that she hadn’t been aware of before.
“They’ve pumped out what they can but it’s still in the system. So they …”
Alice sank to her knees in thankfulness. “Then he’s still alive,” she whispered.
“The vet doesn’t know if he’s going to make it.” Daniel’s eyes were narrowing at Kayleigh. “Does she have anything to do with this?”
Alice prided herself on not telling lies. Before Uncle Phil, she had told the odd white one but afterwards – when her mother had declared her to be a ‘wicked little liar’ – she’d taken care to tell the truth about everything. Apart from the one secret she’d had to keep back.
But now, still on her knees, she looked from her husband’s furious glare to Kayleigh’s fearful eyes, and wondered, just for a minute, whether to omit yet another crucial fact.
Then the girl spoke. “I’m Kayleigh.”
Daniel’s eyes hardened. “The girl from the park?” He switched his gaze to Alice. “The one you gave evidence about?”
