by Abby Ayles
The first thought that crossed Judith’s mind was to lie, but she and Amy were past that. Over the years, they had become close friends, who shared almost everything.
Slowly, she nodded.
Amy said nothing. She simply set down the things she was holding and came back to her lady’s side.
“Is anything the matter? Have you hurt yourself?”
The concern in Amy’s voice was apparent. It was touching, making Judith smile at the thought of being so cared for by her maid.
She shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I went to see Father in his study this evening. I told him I wish to leave for Aunt Tia’s.”
Amy gasped. “My Lady! I didn’t know you would ask so soon. I thought you would wait a little while.”
“I decided there was no reason to,” she answered swiftly. “In another month, I shall be eighteen, Amy. Father and Mother will expect me to debut in the coming season. That means, suitors will begin to call and they will all be considered. For all I know, I might be married by the end of next summer. If there is a time to make this trip, it is now.”
She paused to sigh. “If I am to be back before next season, I mustn’t dally any longer. The time to act is now.”
Amy’s brows were twisted in a frown. “Seeing as you’ve been crying, I take it things didn’t go as well as you’d hoped.”
“Well, it did not go as I had hoped, but certainly as expected. I knew Father would not agree so easily. Yet, I wish he would.”
“You’re disappointed.”
“Yes. I tried to beg him to see reason, but he would not. He says the journey is such a long one to make alone. He refuses to take the risk. He would not even think about it.”
“He could hire men to escort you. I hear there are escorts for hire these days,” Amy said as she began to do Judith’s hair.
Judith closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations that ran through her scalp as Amy pulled and massaged.
In truth, Amy had made a sensible suggestion. If her father could hire escorts, then, perhaps, he would let her go? She determined to raise the subject at dinner and beg him to investigate the matter.
“Do you know, Amy? I think that could be just the thing to work. Thank you!”
“If it does, I shall be sad to see you go. I will miss you, very much.”
It occurred to Judith then that this was something she had failed to consider.
“Of course, you would be coming with me, Amy. You are my maid. You follow me everywhere I go!”
Before Amy could respond, something else occurred to her. “Wait a moment, if you thought you wouldn’t be coming with me, perhaps, Father thought the same. His fear was that I would travel alone. However, if he learns that you shall be coming with me, he might be inclined to change his mind!”
Her heart began to beat faster with excitement. If this was true, she might have just found the answer to her problems.
“That way, he wouldn’t need to hire escorts. It shall simply be you, me and the coachman going on our merry way.”
Her mood changed swiftly, and her skies began to grow bright again as the dark clouds cleared.
“Oh, Amy, we shall have quite the adventure!” She clapped her hands, unable to control her excitement. “Both of us, together as always.”
Soon, Amy finished with her hair and came around to face her mistress.
“My lady, I am not entirely certain I want to come with you. We shall be away for so long. My family is here in London. I do not think I could leave them.”
“Oh, Amy, stop spouting such nonsense. Of course, you’re coming along. You have to. I command it.”
Amy’s eyes narrowed. “And if I refuse?”
“Then I shall…” Judith stopped short, at a loss for words. She blinked hard, trying to find the right words. Eventually, she gave up.
“Alright then, I shall ask nicely. Amy, will you accompany me on my journey to Northern England? Please? I promise you; it shall be worth it. You are my best friend, and so wish to have you by my side.”
Amy said nothing for a moment. She looked to be lost in thought, and Judith prayed that she would agree.
Finally, she spoke. “I suppose you are right. It would be quite the adventure. Who knows what we might find along the way? Yes.”
“Yes!” Judith chimed.
Impulsively, she threw her arms around Amy and hugged her tight. She was aware there was still the small matter of getting her Father’s permission but, at the very least, she now stood a chance.
The notion filled her with joy.
“Oh dear, you have no inkling how happy you have made me. Thank you for agreeing to this.”
Amy simply nodded; her eyes lit up by the smile on her lips.
No more words were spoken, while Judith finished dressing for dinner. Finally, the two women went their separate ways, with Judith heading down to the dining hall to join her mother and father.
***
Dinner went by quietly. It was an unspoken rule in the household that no one talked while eating unless absolutely necessary.
So, while Judith itched to make her announcement, she waited until they had all cleared their plates and were about to rise.
“Father, Mother, please stay for a while. There is something I wish to discuss.”
She heard her father’s resigned sigh. Her mother however, clueless in the matter, raised her brow in question.
“If this is about what we discussed earlier this evening, Judith, I have made my decision. I’m afraid I do not intend to change it,” her father said, his voice gruff.
“Please, Father, hear me out. I believe what I’m about to say will change your mind.”
Her mother looked from her husband to Judith, her confusion evident. “What is this about?”
It was her father who answered. “Your child wishes to visit your sister, Letitia. She says the journey, and being away from home, might help her discover herself. Apparently, she’s unhappy.”
“Unhappy? Why?” her mother asked swiftly, the surprise in her voice clearly apparent. “Do you lack anything, Judith? Do we not show you enough love? Why would you want to leave home?”
Judith let out a sigh. “It’s nothing of the sort, Mother. I … I simply feel there is nothing special about me. You have your art. Father has his business. Edward has his books, and Theresa has her music. I … I have nothing. It cannot be. There must be something I, too, am gifted at. I think some time away will help me find it. Lord knows my time here hasn’t.”
Her mother’s eyes immediately turned sad, and she reached out to cup Judith’s face.
She felt her heart warm at her mother’s loving touch. She closed her eyes and leaned into it.
“Oh dear, I had no inkling you felt that way.”
Her eyes fluttered open. “No, Mother. You have done nothing wrong. It is I who cannot stop feeling … ordinary.”
“Oh, that is nonsense! You are anything but ordinary, Judith. You are special in your own way.”
“How, Mother? What way is that?”
“Well… You… I…” her mother stuttered, “You play the pianoforte really beautifully.”
Judith shook her head. “Just about as beautifully as anyone who has had to practice since they could walk. That’s not special, Mother. It’s normal. Now, you see what I am trying to say?”
Her mother sighed, saying nothing more.
Judith felt her heart twist in her chest, but she ignored the pain. She could not fault her mother for finally seeing the truth she had always known.
She pulled away from her mother’s hand and turned to her father.
“You said you would only let me go if I have company. Amy has agreed to come with me. Now, I shall not be alone. So now, Father, will you change your decision? Will you grant me this freedom?”
This time, he was the one who sighed.
“Judith … Amy is a woman. You two are vulnerable. Anything could happen.”
“Father, please. Have I ever asked you for a
nything so desperately? You must grant me this one wish. Nothing would make me happier. I beg you.”
She could see him visibly struggle with himself. She waited as he tried to reconsider his decision. Her heart beat harder in her chest. Her stomach quivered in fear of rejection again.
The minutes seemed to turn into hours, and she wondered how much longer she would have to wait.
Finally, he said, “I wish I did not have to do this, but I am afraid, I cannot find it in myself to deny you this happiness. If it is what you truly want, then you may leave as soon as you desire.”
Judith’s eyes grew wide. She could scarcely believe her ears. Yes, it was all she had hoped for, but to actually have obtained it…
Her father continued, “I shall have a carriage prepared and a trusted coachman to bear you to the North. I only ask that you take great care and write to me if you encounter any trouble. You must promise me this.”
“I promise, Father. You have my word!” she said quickly.
The joy she had felt earlier, when Amy had agreed to come along, multiplied. Before she knew it, she was laughing. Her happiness was so great, it had spilled forth from her heart.
For months, this was all she had dreamed of. Finally, she would get to live her dream.
Reaching across the table, she took her father’s hand in hers and kissed it.
“You have made me so happy, Father! I shall not take this for granted. Thank you so much. Thank you!”
Her father wrestled with his smile but ended up chuckling.
“Seeing that it brings you such joy, I am less apprehensive of having made the wrong decision.”
“Do not worry your head about it, Ethan,” her mother said. “I shall pray day and night that she reaches Tia’s safely and returns to us, just as safe and sound.” Shifting her chair behind, she rose to her feet.
“Come now, we must write a letter to Tia, letting her know you shall be visiting for a while. She will be happy to have you, I’m certain. You have always been her favorite niece, and she often complains about how terribly lonely it can be up north.”
It was all happening so fast that Judith remained somewhat awestruck.
Still, as she rose to go after her mother, she knew that what truly was important was the fact it was happening.
Finally.
Chapter 3
Two days later, while the baroness’s letter was well on its way to her sister, Judith and Amy stood in her chamber, packing for the journey.
“I cannot believe we are actually going,” she said.
She had expected that, with time, her awe would lessen, but the opposite was true: Whenever she thought of all they might encounter, she grew excited all over again.
Judith knew Aunt Tia well, for she often visited Charleveaux. Just as Tia considered Judith her favorite niece, her aunt, too, held a special place in Judith’s heart. It was why Judith had chosen to go to her, instead of all the other aunts and uncles she could have visited.
Aunt Tia was something of an eccentric. In her youth, she had defied the rules of society and toured the world dressed as a man for years. Afterwards, she had returned home and finally decided to marry.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t been blessed with children. For that reason, she held her siblings’ children dear to her heart. Judith knew she would be received with joy.
She also knew that Aunt Tia would grant her permission to explore as she wished. She could not wait to experience the new life that awaited her beyond the walls of Charleveaux.
“I cannot believe it either. My mother and sisters were sad to see me leave this morning. I shall miss them very much,” Amy replied.
Judith’s mood dampened. Amy was very close with her family and had never had to be so far away from them. She wished she could release her from the word she had given but she could not bring herself to.
Without Amy, she wouldn’t be allowed to go. Without Amy, she would be helpless. How would she survive on the road for four days without her maid?
“I am sorry to take you away from them, Amy. Truly, I am. If there was another way, I would have chosen it.”
“It’s fine, my lady. Like you, I cannot remain in Charleveaux all my life. This is my chance to experience something new, and I shall take it. Who knows what I, too, might find?”
When Amy smiled at her brightly, Judith felt relief wash over her.
“Now, that is the spirit. I’m so glad you’re choosing to look at the bright side, Amy.” She paused to look around them. “I think this is the last valise. We are all set.”
Amy too looked around the large chamber. “It would appear so, my lady.”
“Very well then, shall we?” Judith asked, lifting the smallest of the valises into her hands. She had packed three.
Amy nodded, lifting the other two.
“We shall.”
By the time they had walked down the stairs, the carriage and coachman were ready for them. So were her parents, and her brother.
“Edward!” she exclaimed on seeing him there. She stepped into his open arms, so he could wrap her in a warm embrace.
“I did not know you would come.”
“Father sent word. I knew I could not let you leave without saying goodbye.” He released a sigh. “I cannot believe you’re doing this. I cannot believe Father is letting you.”
She might have been offended if she could not clearly hear the affection in his voice.
“He had to. He knows how important this is to me.”
He placed a lingering kiss on both her cheeks, and they pulled apart.
“You know I would have taken you myself, if I could.” Edward said.
“You would be gone at least a fortnight. You cannot leave Rachel, not now. I understand.”
He gave a curt nod. “You won’t be here when my first child is born.”
“I shall send lots of letters and make up for lost time when I return. You must know, I already love him so dearly.” She could not be certain the baby would be a boy, but the midwife was convinced it was.
“I have no doubt. He will love you from the moment he’s born. Rachel sends her love, and this…”
The butler, Jared, stepped forward with a parcel. Her brother took it from him and handed it to her.
“I have no idea what she has packed. She says you must think of her whenever you wear it.”
Judith’s lips curved in a smile as warmth suffused her whole being. Her eyes stung, but she managed to keep the tears at bay.
“I’m sure whatever it is, it will be beautiful. Please tell her I truly appreciate it.”
“I also have something for you,” Edward said.
She passed on the parcel to Amy, so she could receive the small pouch Edward held out to her.
“I know father has given you enough money, but you cannot have too much.”
She jiggled the pouch, feeling the weight of the coins inside. A gasp broke free and she quickly covered her mouth, stopping the rest of it.
“Edward! This is too much. Whatever would I do with all of this money?”
“That is for you to decide, my dearest sister. I’m certain you will find something.”
This time, she was the one who hugged him tightly, as though she had no intention of letting go. Eventually, she pulled away.
“You are the best brother in the whole world! Thank you so much!”
“Anything to see you happy and well, dear Judith.”
He stepped aside then, and she went to her mother. Her mother’s eyes were filled with tears, and Judith felt herself losing the grip on her emotions she thought she had by the minute.
“I cannot imagine being away from you for so long. It’s never happened before.”
“She’s becoming a woman, Arabella. One day, she will leave for good and never return. You may see this as practice,” her father said.
They all ended up chuckling, but, when Judith spared him a glance, she saw that he, too, was struggling to control his tears.
She t
urned to her mother and hugged her.
“May the roads be kind to you, dear one. Travel safe. Give Tia my love. Let her know I miss her very much, and that we are thankful to her for accepting you.”
Judith nodded as she pulled away. “I will, Mother.”
“I had Diane pack you a basket. It should take you through the day and keep the hunger at bay until you find an inn to rest. We have told Mr. Giraud here what he must do. All you need to do is trust him.”
