“So you’re the mangy cur who walked out on me and my mom!”
He shook his head vigorously. “No, no! That’s not how it was. There’s something you need to know. I didn’t run out on you and your mom. She must have changed her mind about us gettin’ married, ‘cause without even tellin’ me where she was goin’, she just took you and split.”
Star’s eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “You’re a liar! Mom would never do something like that.”
“No, please listen; I’m not lyin’. I wanted to marry your mom and wanted more than anything for us to be a family. But Bunny had other ideas, and they obviously didn’t include me.”
Star and Jan seemed oblivious to everyone else in the room. Emma was so shocked by all of this, she simply couldn’t think of a thing to say.
“Now you wait just a minute,” Star said, her voice high-pitched and intense. “Mom may not have always had her head on straight when it comes to men, and she has been known to lie about a few things, but when it comes to the story she’s always told about my dad runnin’ off, that’s never changed. So I don’t think she was lying.”
“But you don’t understand. I loved Bunny back then, even though she was always headstrong and kinda hard to figure out.” Jan left his seat and took a step toward Star. “I probably wasn’t the best catch a girl could want, but I had a good payin’ job, and there wasn’t much I wouldn’t have done for you and Bunny. And I want you to know that I did everything I could to find you both. But your mom—well, she did a good job of hidin’ from me.
“When I contacted Bunny’s mom, even she didn’t know where Bunny had gone.” Jan drew in a deep breath and released it with a moan. “I can’t believe we’ve been here at Emma’s house all these weeks, and I had no clue a’tall that my own flesh-and-blood daughter was right here in front of me. All these years of wonderin’, and now, here you are.” He seemed to be taking in every detail about Star as though seeing her for the very first time. “You even have the same color eyes as mine, but I can see now that you’ve got your mother’s nose.”
Backing up as though to put some distance between them, Star planted both hands on her hips and glared at him. “Stop looking at me that way! Seriously, it’s creepy.”
Reaching out to touch her arm, he took a step closer, but she backed up even farther. “Don’t touch me! I don’t want anything to do with you!”
“It must be fate that brought you two together,” Pam spoke up, as though trying to calm Star down. Or perhaps she saw this as some kind of happily-ever-after scene she was witnessing. Well, it wasn’t. Emma could certainly see that.
“I think it was divine intervention,” Emma said, finally finding her voice and walking over to place her hand gently on Star’s arm. “It was the good Lord who brought you and your father together.”
“Well, I wish He hadn’t!” Star pointed at Jan. “You know what? I’m glad you never showed up in my life before, because if you had, I might have hauled off and punched you. I don’t believe for one minute that my mom left you.” Star grabbed up her things and raced for the door.
“Please, don’t go!” Jan called. “I’ve waited all these years to meet my daughter, and I sure don’t wanna lose her now!”
The door slammed behind Star.
Jan groaned and flopped into a chair, letting his head fall forward into the palms of his hands. He sat like that for several minutes; then he lifted his head and turned toward Emma with a look of bewilderment, as though seeking an answer … advice … anything. The pain on his face was undeniable.
“What was I thinkin’?” he mumbled, shaking his head. “This sure didn’t turn out the way I’d imagined it would if I ever found my daughter. No, this went down bad. Yeah, really bad.”
CHAPTER 30
I blew it! I really blew it!” Jan slapped his knee and groaned. “I should never have blurted that out like I did. I probably scared the poor kid half to death. Worse than that, she doesn’t believe a word I said. I think she hates me.”
“Were you telling the truth about not being the one who ran off?” Stuart questioned.
Jan’s jaw clenched. “‘Course I was tellin’ the truth. I’d have no reason to lie about somethin’ as important as that!” He scrubbed his hand down the side of his face, fighting the sudden urge to start howling like a baby. “Trouble is, I have no proof. It’s Bunny’s word against mine.”
“Maybe it would help if you spoke to Star’s mother yourself,” Paul suggested. “You could remind her of how it all happened.”
Jan tapped his fingers along the edge of the table. “If I thought for one minute that Bunny would tell the truth, I’d do it. But I have a gut feeling she’d keep on lyin’ about all that happened. Besides, I’m pretty sure that after all these years, Bunny probably don’t wanna even see the likes of me.” He slowly shook his head, feeling worse by the minute. “I’ve never understood why she hated me so much that she’d just take off with our baby without even tellin’ me she was leavin’ or where she was goin’. I thought Bunny loved me and wanted to get married, but somethin’ must have happened to change her mind.” It was all Jan could do to keep his emotions under control.
“I think the best thing you can do is to wait until next week and see what Star has to say then,” Ruby Lee said.
“Don’t think I can wait that long. Besides, what if Star don’t come back? She may never wanna see me again.” Jan looked over at Emma with a pleading expression. “Can you help me out here? If you have Star’s address, would you tell me what it is?”
Emma shook her head. “I wouldn’t feel right about giving you that information without asking her first. And, Jan, I think you really do need to give Star some time to sort things through. Like Ruby Lee said, you can talk to Star again next week. I feel sure she’ll be here.”
“Maybe Star will talk to her mother, and she’ll find out that you were telling the truth,” Paul said in a tone of reassurance.
Jan grunted. “Boy, you don’t know how bad I’d like to see it go that way, but unless Bunny’s had a change of heart, she ain’t likely to admit she was wrong.”
Emma gave Jan’s arm a reassuring pat. “I’ll be praying for you this week, and I hope you’ll pray, too. Try to remember that God is with us no matter what situation we may face.”
Goshen
Star felt so stressed by the time she got to Goshen that her body trembled and she could hardly breathe. She really shouldn’t have driven anywhere feeling this upset, but she just wanted to put some distance between her and Jan. She also needed time to calm down before she talked to Mom, so she decided to stop and jog a ways on the Pumpkinvine Trail.
As Star jogged along, her legs threatened to buckle. She still couldn’t believe the burly biker was her dad. And as she thought about everything Jan had told her about Mom taking off, her frustration and confusion increased. She didn’t know whether to believe him or not. All these weeks she’d seen Jan as a really nice guy—the kind who loved kids and dogs.
Was it all just for show? she wondered. Or has Jan changed from how he was when he and Mom were dating? At the moment, Star was angry with both of her parents: Jan for abandoning them when she was a baby, and Mom for refusing to tell Star much about her dad or letting her see any pictures of him. Of course, even if she had seen a picture of Jan from back then, he’d no doubt changed a lot, and she probably wouldn’t have recognized him. But if Star’s mom had told her his name, she would have figured things out a lot sooner. After all, how many men had a name like Jan Sweet?
Stopping to catch her breath for a minute, Star kicked at a clump of weeds along the edge of the path with the toe of her sneaker and jumped back as a baby rabbit ran into the higher brush.
“Oops. Sorry little fellow. Didn’t mean to scare you like that,” she murmured, momentarily enjoying the short interruption.
I still can’t believe Jan’s really my dad, Star thought, as she started running again. All the times he’s been sitting beside me at Emma’s, m
aking small talk and acting so friendly as we worked on our quilting projects, and I never had a clue.
Deciding to pick up the pace, Star panted as she jogged harder. While a trickle of sweat rolled down her forehead and into her eyes, she knew it didn’t matter how fast or how hard she ran. The unexpected, shocking news she’d received today was inescapable. She had half a mind to head back to Emma’s and give Jan a well-deserved punch. But what good would that do? It wouldn’t change the past, but oh, it sure would make her feel better.
Sides aching and gasping for air, Star knew she couldn’t run any farther, so she headed back toward her car. She really needed to go home and talk to Mom.
When Star entered Grandma’s house sometime later, the phone was ringing. She raced across the kitchen and grabbed the receiver. “Hello.”
“Star is that you?”
“Yeah, who’s this?”
“It’s Emma Yoder.” She paused. “I was worried about you and wanted to see if you’re all right.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Never better,” Star mumbled.
“You don’t sound fine. The tone of your voice says you’re still upset.”
Emma’s soothing tone caused Star to relax a bit. “I … I still can’t believe what happened today,” she said. “I mean, what are the odds that Jan Sweet would turn out to be my long-lost father?”
“Are you still angry with him?” Emma asked.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? He ran out on us, Emma. Big, sweet, lovable Jan ran out on his wife and baby. And I’m supposed to be okay with that?” Star’s voice had become shrill, but she couldn’t seem to help it. She was still so angry she could spit.
“What did your mother say when you told her about Jan?”
“I haven’t told her yet. I just got home from the Pumpkinvine Trail, where I went to try and jog off my frustrations.”
Another pause. Then Emma said, “Jan wants to talk to you, Star—and to your mother, too. He was really upset after you left and asked if I’d give him your address or phone number.”
Star grabbed the edge of the counter as fear gripped her like a vise. She wasn’t ready to talk to Jan yet. Not until she’d spoken to Mom. “You didn’t give it to him, I hope.”
“No. I told him I couldn’t do that without your permission.”
Star breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. I appreciate that. Mom would have a hissy fit if Jan showed up out of the blue. I really need to talk to her about all of this first.”
“I hope it goes well when you do. Oh, and Star, can I say one more thing?”
“Yeah, sure. What is it, Emma?”
“Don’t believe negative thoughts about anyone until you have all the facts.”
“Yeah, and I plan to get all the facts, too. I’d better go, Emma. I don’t hear the TV in the living room, so I think Mom’s probably in her bedroom. I really oughta speak to her now.”
“I’ll let you go then. Oh, and remember, Star, if you need to talk more about this, just give me a call. Unless I happen to be in the phone shack, you’ll get my voice mail. But I’ll call you back as soon as I get your message.”
“Okay, thanks, Emma. Bye for now.”
Star hung up the phone and was about to head for Mom’s room when she spotted a note on the kitchen table. She picked it up and read it out loud.
Mike and I are heading to Fort Wayne to see his folks and tell them about our engagement. Since I have next week off from work, and so does Mike, we’re planning to stay with his folks until Thursday or Friday. This will give Mike the chance to look at the restaurant he plans to buy there. If it all works out, we’ll be moving to Fort Wayne soon after we’re married.
I was going to tell you all this at breakfast this morning, but you rushed out of here so fast I didn’t get the chance.
There’s plenty of food in the fridge, so you shouldn’t have to worry about doing any grocery shopping while I’m gone.
I’ll see you Thursday evening or sometime Friday.
Love,
Mom
Star’s hand shook as she dropped the note to the table. Besides the fact that Mom had taken off without telling her, now she had to wait several days to tell her about Jan. And what if Mom and Mike ended up moving to Fort Wayne? Where would that leave Star? Would they expect her to move there, too? What would happen to Grandma’s old house? Would Mom decide to sell it? It wasn’t fair. She needed to talk to Mom right now. She needed some answers about Jan.
“Never gonna be the princess, holding tight to my daddy’s neck,” Star sang as a strangled sob caught in her throat. She paused a minute and swallowed hard. “Never gonna be the apple of his eye. Never gonna walk the aisle hand in hand; a sweet vignette. Never gonna answer all the whys. Ask me what it’s like to be connected; ask me why I can’t give up control. Ask me how it feels to be protected; ask me who is praying for my soul. Ask me when I knew I’m loved forever … never.”
CHAPTER 31
Shipshewana
Hey man, how was your weekend?” Terry asked when Jan climbed into Terry’s truck on Monday morning.
“It was good in one way but not so good in another,” Jan said with a shake of his head. “You’re never gonna believe what I have to tell you.”
“What do you mean?”
Pausing a bit to get the words out right, Jan moistened his lips and said, “Saturday, I found my daughter.”
“Wow, that’s really great news, man!” Terry thumped Jan’s shoulder. “Where’d you find her?”
“At Emma Yoder’s.”
Terry’s eyebrows shot up. “Your daughter’s Amish?”
“Will you listen to what I’m sayin’ here? She’s not Amish. She’s one of the women I’ve been learnin’ to quilt with these past five weeks.”
“Huh?”
“That girl I told you about—the one who calls herself Star—I found out toward the end of class last Saturday that she’s my daughter, Beatrice.”
Terry released a low whistle. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
“No, I’m not kiddin’.” Jan went on to explain about the picture Star had shown the class, and how he had one just like it—only his didn’t have his picture torn off.
“Now that’s really something!” Terry exclaimed. “I mean, what are the odds that the daughter you never thought you’d see again has been right under your nose these last five weeks?”
“When I found out, that same thought went through my head. Pam called it fate, and Emma said it must be divine intervention.” Jan sucked in a deep breath. “I’m not sure what I’d call it, but it sure came as a surprise—for both me and Star.”
“I’m really happy for you, man.” Terry gave Jan’s arm another good thump. “You must feel like you’re ten feet tall after bein’ reunited with your daughter.”
“I am glad I finally got to meet her, but unfortunately, she don’t feel the same way about meetin’ me.”
“How come?”
Jan explained the lie Nancy had told their daughter and how Star had reacted when he’d tried to explain what had happened.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever see her again,” Jan said with a slow shake of his head. “Emma Yoder called me on Saturday evening and said she’d talked to Star. Asked if she could give me Star’s phone number and address, but Star said no.” He moaned deeply and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I feel just sick about this, man. I’d given up all hope of ever findin’ Beatrice, and now that I have, she don’t want nothin’ to do with me.”
“If you just give her some time to get used to the idea, I’m sure she’ll come around.”
“Wish I could believe that, but you didn’t see Star’s face when she lashed out at me and called me a bum.” And I still can’t believe I was actually thinkin’ of asking her out—my own daughter, for cryin’ out loud, Jan thought. But then, how was I to know who Star really was? Whew! I’m sure glad I didn’t make that mistake.
“Maybe once Star talks to her mom about it, Nancy will set the record straight,
” Terry said with a hopeful expression. “Think about it—this is a lot for your daughter to take in—especially in a short time. I’d say it’s pretty major.”
“I’d like to believe that Bunny will tell Star the truth, but if she hates me as much as I think she does, I doubt she’ll admit that it was her who ran out on our relationship and not me. Even after all these years, I suspect I’m still the bad guy. It’s probably why she’s never once tried to locate me.”
Jan tried to imagine what Star must be feeling. After all, her finding out he was her dad and not just some biker dude who’d come to Emma’s to learn how to quilt had to have knocked the wind right out of her sails. Did he dare to believe she might come around after she’d had time to think it all through? Did he dare to hope that Bunny might tell their daughter the truth?
“Just take one day at a time and wait to see what tomorrow brings,” Terry said. “That’s what my folks are doin’ in their relationship right now.”
“How are your parents gettin’ along these days? I’ve been meanin’ to ask about that but keep forgetting,” Jan said, glad for the change of subject. It was better if he focused on something else right now, rather than agonizing over Bunny’s betrayal and Star’s rejection of him.
“They’ve started seein’ a marriage counselor,” Terry replied. “It’s gonna take some time and a lot of give-and-take on Mom and Dad’s part, but I think if they do what the counselor says, they might get their marriage back on track.”
“That’s good to hear. ‘Course, not everyone who goes for counselin’ ends up with a happy marriage. Counselin’ sure hasn’t seemed to help that bickerin’ couple who’ve been takin’ the quilting class with me, although it might be that they aren’t doin’ everything their counselor says.”
Terry grunted and pointed out the front window. “I hate to add to your misery this mornin’, but I don’t think we’re gonna get any roofin’ done today, ‘cause it’s started to rain, and it looks like it’s gonna be a gully washer!”
The Half-Stitched Amish Quilting Club Page 22
