Ainsley tried to roll over to look into his eyes, but he held her in place. “Blend? Hate to break it to you, but you don’t blend. You are…” Maybe he wouldn’t appreciate her insight so she held back.
“I’m what?”
“Forceful. You’re easily the most forceful man in the room. In any room. Whether at the club or amidst your relatives.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. We kept our distance today. But I knew where you were at all times. Your body was the moon, I was the tide and you had a pull on me. Which I had to resist, you jerk.” She lightly elbowed him in the gut.
Ben chuckled.
“I will say you were sporting a pretty serious back off aura today. I didn’t see many of your relatives approach you besides Chase. And the two younger guys, but they didn’t stick around long.”
“That’d be Tell and Dalton. There’s a family dynamic that’d take me the rest of the damn night and part of tomorrow to explain.” He traced the backs of her knuckles. “I guess I wasn’t aware I had that vibe today.”
“I’m glad to hear it’s just today and not every day.” She fell silent again.
“I hate when you do that, angel. ’Cause I know them wheels are churning. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I just wondered how much of that standoffishness happened after you accepted your dominant nature. Like if you let the people closest to you see that part of you, you were afraid they wouldn’t accept it.”
He muttered, “They won’t accept it.” He stroked her skin. “You came up with all of these observations just today?”
“I’m a pretty good judge of people, Ben. My ex-husband notwithstanding. I worried about that same kind of stuff with him. He didn’t accept that sexual part of me. And I never asked him to do half the things to me that you’ve done to me. So I understand your need to keep that part of your life secret. Dean…actually threatened to tell our friends, my boss, our coworkers, and our parents about my kinky sex requests. For months, every time I saw our coworkers snickering, I worried he’d over-shared at the water cooler.”
Ben rolled and brought her on top of him, clamping one hand on her ass to keep her from squirming away. The other hand held her jaw. “One—I don’t do things to you, I do things for you. Big difference. Two—I’m proud of you for realizing his hang-ups are not yours and for takin’ a chance to live the life you want. Three—if I ever meet that self-serving motherfucker, I will beat his ass bloody. There’s no bigger sin than breaking a confidence. He was your husband for Christsake. He was supposed to be a safe haven for you, not lead the charge in ridiculing you.”
This man, who’d known her three weeks, had a better grasp on her, on who she was at the most basic level, and yet embraced her complexities and understood her insecurities, better than any man ever had. No one in her past—man or woman—had ever stood up for her like Ben. No one had ever built her up by knocking down the walls she’d been hiding behind. That knowledge both buoyed her and brought despair, because this thing between her and Ben had an end date.
Didn’t it?
She closed her eyes, feeling those stupid, unwelcome tears trying to break free. She jerked from his hold. And he let her go.
But Ben didn’t release her. He merely returned her to her previous position and held her while she composed herself. He let the brush of his hands on her skin soothe her in ways words couldn’t. Sometimes being a man a few words had its benefits.
She whispered, “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
“I’m tired.”
Ben kissed her temple. “Go to sleep.”
“Are you staying?”
“For a little while.”
She punched her pillow. “I know we haven’t spent the night together much, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Why is that?” He bumped his pelvis into her backside. “’Cause I’m likin’ this a whole bunch.”
How could she tell him sharing the same bed seemed more intimate than sex? Sleeping she felt even more vulnerable. Had Layla been right? Being in his bed surrounded by his warm body was a gateway drug to wanting more? More of what she couldn’t have?
“Ainsley?”
“Sorry. I started to doze off.” She kissed his biceps.
“Liar,” he whispered in her ear. “And just so you know, you’re welcome in my bed any night. I’ll even kick the dogs out for you.”
She laughed. “Well, I doubt my cats will be so accommodating.”
Chapter Nineteen
Before he got busy filling his day cutting logs and boards for a furniture order, Ben loaded up his dogs and headed to Rielle’s.
Unlike Chase, he didn’t consider it strange Gavin had chosen to stay at Rielle’s bed and breakfast. It was neutral territory and he wasn’t beholden to anyone’s schedule. He hadn’t talked to Gavin much yesterday, and he realized he’d never had a one-on-one, face-to-face conversation alone with his oldest brother and it was past time.
Plus, he had to approach Rielle about her financial situation, as Tell and Dalton had reminded him last night, regardless of what kind of mood she was in, regardless if he was uncertain about where his portion would come from.
The dogs jumped out of the truck bed and raced off into the trees with Rielle’s three mutts.
Rielle met him at the front door and held open the screen. “Hey, stranger.”
“Mornin’, Rielle. Something smells good.”
“There’s fresh coffee and warm muffins inside.”
She was in a good mood, which boded well for him. “I didn’t stop over here expecting to be fed, but I ain’t gonna say no now that you offered.” He followed her into the kitchen.
“I don’t imagine you stopped over to talk to me anyway.” She pointed to the mugs. “Help yourself.”
“Is Gavin up?”
“He hopped into the shower as you pulled in.”
Ben sat at the counter, poured himself a cup of coffee and set two blueberry muffins on a plate. “I did want to talk to you about something.”
“Sounds serious.”
“It is. I wanted to bring it up in private.”
“Now you’re really scaring me.”
Ben looked Rielle in the eyes. “I won’t beat around the bush. How much financial trouble are you in?”
Rielle’s cheeks turned bright red and her hands squeezed her coffee mug. “I told you I’d pay you for the furniture. Are you here to repossess it?”
“God no. That’s pretty inconsequential, considering everything else you owe on, doncha think?”
She nodded.
“So tell me, Ree, how bad is it?”
“Bad,” she whispered.
The bitter taste in his mouth wasn’t from too strong coffee.
“Can I ask how you found out?” Rielle asked.
“Besides that I took you to the bank and know they turned you down for a loan?”
Her lips formed a sneer. “So is everyone in town aware of my financial predicament? Is everyone whispering that the hippie chick doesn’t have a clue how to manage money?”
“No. And if I ever heard anyone say shit like that about you, I’d bust them in the mouth.”
“I know you would. You’re a good friend, Ben. One of the few friends I have in this town, despite the fact I’ve lived here my whole life.” Rielle knocked back her coffee like it was whiskey. “So how did you find out?”
No reason to sugarcoat it. “Rory.”
Her eyes turned to chips of ice and she slammed her cup down. “My daughter called you?”
“No. Evidently she talked to Dalton when he was in Laramie, and Dalton came to me. He’s worried about her.”
Stunned silence.
Rielle made a wounded sound. “She can’t… It’s why I…” She covered her mouth and tears pooled in her hard eyes.
Christ. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. Ben went to her and pulled her into his arms. “Hey. Rory is a terrific kid, Ree. You’ve done a great job raising her into a t
houghtful, responsible adult. This fucked up situation hurts both of you, but we’ll get something figured out, okay?”
It took a minute or so, but Rielle said, “Okay.”
“Good. ’Cause I’m too fuckin’ old to have new neighbors move in here.”
She laughed. And sobbed. And hugged him tighter. “Thanks.” She stepped back and wiped her cheeks. “I assume you wouldn’t have brought this up if you didn’t have a plan?”
He peeled the wrapper off the bottom of his muffin. “I’ve got a plan. But I’ll be honest. I don’t think you’re gonna like it much. You’re in arrears to the bank…eleven months on your loan?”
“Ten,” she corrected. “I’ve got about thirty days left before I default.”
“How much do you have to pay to get caught up in the next thirty days to keep them from foreclosing?”
“I have to pay the first six months and all the penalties. Then I have sixty days to pay the remainder to bring the account current.”
“How much we talkin’?”
Rielle closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “One hundred and twelve thousand dollars.”
Shit. That was way more than he’d anticipated. He didn’t have that kind of money. Could Dalton and Tell come up with that much cash? Plus more to put a down payment on the land once they’d kept her foreclosure at bay?
“So please tell me more about this plan of yours, because right now, I’d sign a deal with the devil rather than lose everything.”
He looked at her. “The McKays have been called agents of Satan and devil’s spawn before, by your own father, if I remember right.”
“Sounds like him, since he constantly referred to me as the Whore of Babylon.”
It really surprised Ben that Rielle’s father and Casper hadn’t gotten along better, they were both cut from the same mean cloth. “Here’s the deal. Me, Dalton and Tell would give you the funds to catch up to make the back payment. That’ll give you a little time to decide if you want to sell us the whole parcel of land, or just part of it.”
“You want the creek front section, don’t you?”
“Yes. It’d be great grazing land and it’s the section that’s closest to the rest of our land. Look, if you wanted to subdivide it, we’d be open to that, because we don’t wanna chase you off. But we also figured you’d rather sell the land to us and end up with money in the bank, rather than the bank owning all of it and you ending up with nothin’.”
“You have the money right now?” she asked skeptically.
He tried to gauge the best response to her mood. If he told her getting that much cash wasn’t an issue, would she be resentful? Probably. He told a half-truth. “Not all of it, but I know where I can get it.” Jesus. He hoped he could figure out some financial wheeling and dealing —and soon.
“I…I don’t know. It sounds like a great solution, but I need some time to wrap my head around it.”
“Don’t take too long.” Isn’t that what Tell and Dalton had warned too?
“I won’t.”
“And promise me you won’t do anything until you’ve talked to me first.”
Rielle nodded.
The swinging door from the back set of stairs swung open. “I should’ve eaten before I showered because the—” Gavin stopped and looked from Ben to Rielle. “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?”
“No. I actually came by to talk to you since we didn’t get a chance yesterday. Rielle insisted I eat while I waited, and well, I’ll never say no to good cookin’.”
“Spoken like a bachelor.” Gavin helped himself to a cup of coffee. “But that doesn’t explain why it appears Rielle’s has been crying.”
She laughed a tad too cheerfully. “It’s from chopping onions for the quiche we’re having for lunch.”
Gavin looked like didn’t believe her, but he smiled at her anyway. “Good to know. I’d hate to have to pound on Ben if he somehow maligned your muffins.”
Rielle rolled her eyes. “Ben would never do that. He’s a good guy, honest as the day is long.”
Ben made a gagging noise.
“Plus, he knows what side his muffin is buttered on.” She winked. “If you need anything else, holler. I’ll be in my office.”
Gavin refilled his coffee and loaded his plate with a muffin and a banana.
“You seem to get along with Rielle,” Ben remarked.
“This is the third time I’ve stayed with her.”
Like that explained it. “So how long you staying?”
“I leave at six tonight on the direct flight out of Rapid City to Phoenix.” He cut the banana into precise quarters. “I’d like to stay longer, but my ex-wife can’t handle our daughter for more than a weekend so I have to be back to take Sierra to school tomorrow.”
“Don’t have a friendly relationship with your ex?”
Gavin separated his muffin into four equal sections. “If friendly fire counts, then, yes, it’s friendly.”
Ben laughed. “Sorry, you probably didn’t mean that to be funny.”
“So little is amusing about the situation that I’ll take laughter when I can get it.” He chewed and swallowed a piece of muffin, followed by a piece of banana.
“Tell me about—” my niece, “—your daughter.”
“Sierra is a typical teenage girl. Lots of drama and angst in her daily life. Her mother just adds to it by refusing to be Sierra’s parent—she prefers to be Sierra’s shopping buddy and confidante. So when Sierra comes to my house after a weekend with my ex, she argues incessantly, breaks the rules and drives me so fucking crazy I want to send her to boarding school.”
“No offense, but I’m glad I don’t have kids.”
“Ah. Therein lies the rub. After a couple days, Sierra is back to being my sweet, funny, wonderful, only slightly annoying, typical daughter.”
“At least she isn’t bratty all the time.”
Gavin ate a third bite of the muffin and banana combination. “That’s what Rielle tells me to focus on. Since she survived her daughter’s teen years, I’m hoping to survive it too.”
Ben couldn’t help but stare at Gavin as he shoved his hand through his short hair. That was the most obvious difference between him and his brothers—they all had the almost black hair color from the McKay side. But Gavin’s hair was brown and slightly curly, like their mother’s. And it was sort of freaky, to realize he had facial characteristics of Quinn, Chase and their father, almost in a perfect blend, so he didn’t look exactly like any of them, but like all of them.
“You’d think I’d be used to such scrutiny after last night.”
“Sorry. How was your portion of the dog and pony show anyway?”
“Chase was the Thoroughbred and I was the mutt they dragged home that everyone expected to do awesome tricks. I was most likely a severe disappointment.”
Whoa. That was a harsh assessment.
Gavin sighed and looked at Ben. “That was uncalled for. It’s just… Can I be blunt? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here. It’s all still pretty surreal, this, hey, you’ve got a whole ’nother family. Especially last night. I felt like I was standing in front of one of those small clown cars, and more and more people kept pouring out, and I’m somehow related to all of them.”
The McKay family overwhelmed Ben sometimes and he’d grown up around them. He couldn’t imagine how Gavin felt. “Did anyone give you a hard time?”
“Not really. Keely was the most obviously curious. But she disappeared fast when Jack and I started talking business.”
“Keely might come on strong, but she’s fiercely loyal to all her McKay cousins. Just because you don’t have the same last name, you have the same blood, so she considers you hers too now.”
“Great. She isn’t by chance the mother of the ringleader of the McKay kid posse?”
“No. You’re probably talkin’ about Kyler. Keely is his aunt. Why?”
“That kid cornered me and asked if I was rich.”
Good thing Cor
d hadn’t heard that or he would’ve kicked his son’s butt. “What’d you say?”
“I told him no and asked if I could borrow five bucks.”
Ben laughed. Gavin had a better sense of humor than he’d given him credit for. But he could just tell by looking at him that the man was stressed out. “What else is goin’ on, on the family freak-out front?”
“I’ve enjoyed spending time with Charlie and Vi. Here and when they came to Arizona. It was great going to the PBR and watching Chase ride and meeting Ava. I spent yesterday morning over at Quinn’s and he gave me a tour of the ranch. Libby’s definitely got her hands full with those two kids. But as far as the rest? Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I get what you’re saying. You’re tryin’ to figure out where you fit in just our lives, and then you get thrown a hundred other puzzles pieces.”
“Do I sound like a whiner?”
“No, you sound like a man who ain’t about to get railroaded into doin’ something you’re not ready for.”
Gavin leveled a serious look at him. “I hope your family appreciates your insight, Ben. I know I do. I’d intended to swing by your place this morning to catch up, but you beat me to it.”
That mollified Ben some, although he was aware of being the last on the list since he was the least interesting of his brothers.
A muffled ringing sound became louder as Gavin pulled a cell from his front pocket. He said, “Give me a second.” Then, “Hey, sweetheart. Why are you up so early on a Sunday? Uh-huh. No. I didn’t know. Sounds like you had a good time. What’re you doing today?” He was silent for a minute and his face turned red. “No. Absolutely not. Stop. Right now. Don’t threaten or bribe or try to sweet talk me because it won’t work. My answer is no. I don’t give a sh—damn what your mother thinks. Because you are fourteen years old! Put her on the phone. Now.”
Ben wondered if he should leave the room.
A pause. “You listen to me, Ellen. If you sign the consent form, I’ll be at my attorney’s office first thing tomorrow morning, filing for sole custody of Sierra, without visitation rights. Because she doesn’t need to get her goddamn eyebrow pierced! Or her nose or her lip or her belly button. Don’t try that bullshit argument with me. End of discussion. And I’d better not see one fucking piercing on her body anywhere when I pick her up tonight, we clear? Put her back on.” Gavin paced. “Hey. No, honey, slow down. Sierra-bear, you know how she gets. It’s all right. I’m glad you called me. Of course. I miss you too. See you tonight.” He calmly shut the phone and braced his hands against the counter, letting his head hang down.
Cowboy Casanova: Rough Riders, Book 12 Page 21
