“Nick, I know you heard Mom’s side. He had a side, too. He loved her back then, but he was a kid, just like Mom was a kid. Kids screw up and don’t always make the right decisions. You have to look past all that to the person he is today. Can you do that?”
“You bet! And speaking of the movie, I really wanted to go to the private screening, but my time was just too tight. Did anyone in the family go?”
“I didn’t. I had the time but . . . I didn’t want to see Mitch Cunningham. Dad was willing to go, but since I didn’t know if Mom was going or not, I thought it would be best if I stayed away. I found out later she didn’t go. I didn’t watch the video they sent me either. It didn’t seem like the right time. Too much was going on. Besides, it’s all about Mom. It was her story. Maybe I’ll never look at it. It did get good reviews from all the women’s organizations. It’s going to get a nomination. The truth is, I don’t care. How about you?”
“They sent me the video, too. Those movie people made a big deal about no one from the family showing up for the private screening. It was in all the papers. Medusa pointed it out to me. She stays on top of stuff like that. If the movie really does get a nomination, I guess we’ll be invited to the Academy Awards. I’m afraid that’s not my bag either. How about you?”
“Nah. I lived it, so did you. Why would I want to see all that stuff played out on the big screen?”
Emmie linked her arm with her brother’s. “I hear the car. Let’s go meet my dad.”
Nealy perched on the paddock fence and watched Jake put Hifly through his paces. He had progressed rapidly, going beyond her expectations. She was almost giddy with the realization. The boy was so comfortable in his skin now. He might be considered a runt by the other workers, just the way they considered Hifly a runt, but he was all heart, just the way Hifly was. To say Jake had bonded with the runt horse was to put it mildly. Hifly wasn’t quite as accommodating to her or any of the others as he was to Jake. And Jake loved it.
The fear had left him early on, and from that moment, he took off like a rocket. She hoped it was because of her encouragement and his mother’s support. Like Hifly, Jake only wanted to please. He’d never complained. Not once. He sucked up the ribbing, sucked up the early morning hours and all the hard work that went with raising Thoroughbreds.
But more than anything, it was the look in Jake’s eyes when he looked around at the lush bluegrass, the paddocks, and the horses. She’d never seen that look in Nick’s or Emmie’s eyes. Hunt, her first husband, had never had it, either. For sure Hatch didn’t have it. Maud and Jess did, though. It was obvious to everyone that Jake loved Blue Diamond Farms with a passion.
She loved it when he came to her for advice, loved it when he asked her to watch a particular video of a jockey so he could learn from it and not make mistakes. And she loved it when he linked his arm with hers, and said, “Aunt Nealy, you’re the greatest. If I turn out to be half as good as you, I’ll really be flying.”
In the night, in the darkness of their bedroom, Hatch said she was trying to clone Jake to be like her. She didn’t think she was doing that, but if she was, it wasn’t a bad thing in her opinion. Confidence, ability, and the love of the animal was something Jake had earned. She was free and yet stingy with her praise. They both knew his shortcomings and worked together to overcome them. She must be doing something right because Sunny and Fanny both said the boy had never been happier. His reports to the family were full of love and praise for her. Always in the wee hours of the morning, while Hatch was still sleeping, she would tell herself Hatch was jealous.
In the beginning, she’d had a hard time understanding how a grown man could be jealous of a boy who had the same intense passion, the same intense love for the horses that she had. Sometimes she felt almost drunk with the knowledge that finally, at last, there was someone she could truly communicate with, share the love of Blue Diamond Farms.
She knew in her heart that Maud and Jess were up there somewhere watching her progress with young Jake, just the way they’d watched and instructed her so many years ago.
She had become more and more aware of her age and her limitations. Her body protested every night when it was time to call it a day. She knew she was a disappointment to Hatch in the lovemaking department, and she worked hard to overcome what Hatch called her ambivalent attitude. She couldn’t seem to help herself, and she did try, but it had been the same with Hunt. She loved Hatch, but she loved the farm and the horses more. And Hatch knew it just the way Hunt had known it. And, now, Jake knew it, too.
Jake came up behind her. “Is something wrong, Aunt Nealy? Are you missing Hatch?”
Nealy whirled around. “I guess I was woolgathering, as Maud used to say. She was such a wonderful woman, Jake. She took me in, nursed me back to health, gave me and Emmie a life here, and when she died she left all this to me and Emmie. Sometimes I feel guilty. I guess that’s why I work so hard. I don’t ever want her to think she made a mistake by doing all she did for me. She was the mother I never had. I suppose that sounds a little weird to you, but I believe she can see and hear everything that’s going on down here. Either you believe or you don’t.”
Jake dropped to his haunches. He stared up at his aunt. “I don’t think it’s weird at all. In the past when I would get really discouraged, I always thought my grandfather Ash was around. Sometimes I thought I could smell his aftershave. I always felt better afterward.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of gold aviator wings. “This is what kept me going. They go where I go. I put them under my pillow at night, and first thing in the morning they go in my pocket. He used to tell me such great stories. We’d sing, Off we go, into the wild blue yonder, till we were hoarse. Then we’d go fishing. If we caught a fish, we threw it back. I really loved him.
“I wanted to ask you a question, Aunt Nealy. Don’t tell my mom I asked, okay?” Nealy nodded. “If you decide that I’m good enough to ride in the Derby, do you think it would be okay to tell my dad? He pretty much crossed me off his list, and he has a new family, so I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do or not. I think I need to prove to him that I am important, that I count for something. If it’s going to hurt my mother, I won’t do it, though.”
For one second, Nealy saw red. Why did it always come down to this? First with Nick, then Emmie, and now young Jake. Fathers. She searched her mind for the right words. “I don’t think anyone can give you advice on something so important. You have to search your heart and do what’s right for you. I will say this: if you do ride in the Derby, the world will know. Your father will read about it or hear about it in some way. Your picture will be plastered all over the newspapers, the Internet, and television. Mainly because you’ll be riding for Blue Diamond Farms. They’ll hash and rehash my victories, they’ll show the pictures of the president and me, and it will be a circus. Trust me when I tell you, he’ll know, Jake. You won’t have to tell him unless you want to.”
The young man sighed. “You know he dumped my mother when she got sick. I can never forgive him for that, and yet I want him to know I count. He’s a doctor, too. What kind of man is that?”
“I don’t know the answer to that, Jake.”
“Well, I know the answer,” Jake said vehemently. “He’s a jerk.”
Nealy laughed. “The world is full of jerks, Jake. Just make sure you don’t turn into one.”
The boy laughed. “Fat chance.”
“Here comes Gadfly. We really turned that horse around, didn’t we?”
“Not we. You. I love racing against you. His time is as good as Hifly’s. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, Aunt Nealy. Is there any rule in the Derby book that says you can’t enter two horses in the Derby?”
“Nope. Why?”
“Why don’t we run both of them?”
Nealy jerked to attention. “Gadfly and Hifly? Are you serious?”
“Damn straight,” Jake responded, using his mother’s favorite expression. “I read abou
t this young guy who is just a year and a half older than me. He’s a good jockey, but everyone is afraid to take a chance on him. Maybe afraid isn’t the right word. More like they don’t want to hire him.” “Because . . .”
“Because he’s foreign, Oriental, Asian, something like that. I watched hours and hours of training videos, and, Aunt Nealy, he’s good. He used to live in Thailand. He trained in Japan. He’s a United States citizen now, but he is the nephew of a famous surgeon, Sinjin Vinh, who lives in Thailand.”
Nealy took exactly three seconds to digest Jake’s statement. She spent another five seconds reliving her reconstructive surgery in Thailand after the fire. Dr. Sinjin Vinh. Her savior.
Payback time.
“Call him, Jake. Do you know how to get in touch with him?”
“Jeez, Aunt Nealy, no, I don’t.”
“It doesn’t matter. I know how.”
Jake’s jaw dropped. “You do?”
“Yep. I’m going to do it right now. Come with me.”
Twenty minutes later, after exchanging greetings, Nealy waved a slip of paper under Jake’s nose. “I have here the telephone number and the address of what Doctor Vinh says is the second best jockey in the world. He thinks I’m the best.”
“Lee Liu,” Jake said, looking at the slip of paper. “Are you going to call him, Aunt Nealy?”
“Right this minute. Miracle of miracles, he lives right here in this glorious state. I bet, if he’s interested, he could be here by tomorrow morning. Maybe later tonight.”
“Aunt Nealy, are you sure we can run two horses?”
“I’m absolutely sure. This is so exciting. Okay, okay, I’m dialing the number. Oh, damn, it’s an answering machine.”
Jake drew in his breath and held it while Nealy left a detailed message. When she hung up the phone, she slapped her hands together. “Two horses from Blue Diamond Farms running in the Derby. That means, if it happens, there will be a winner and a loser. If you ride and lose, can you handle it, Jake? Remember now, it’s not a given that you’ll be ready, but if you are, can you handle losing?”
“Well, sure, Aunt Nealy. I don’t plan to lose if it happens. More to the point, can you handle one of your horses losing?”
Nealy felt a grin stretch from ear to ear. “I don’t know. I’ve never had a loser before. You really think that pissass runt can run the Derby, eh? When they get a good look at him, they’re going to laugh both of us right off the track.”
“Before or after the race and on the way to the bank?”
Nealy collapsed laughing. “All of the above. He’s got heart, I have to give him that. Plus, there’s no denying that Hifly loves you, Jake. Right there, you won half the battle. Gadfly now, that’s an entirely different story. That stomach ulcer he had is all healed now, and he’s fine. He’s not exactly warm and fuzzy, but he isn’t mean. He tries to please, too. And, he loves running against Hifly. It would be so great if Hifly and Gadfly go to the Derby and pull adjoining gates. Can you just see them blasting out of the gates at the exact same moment?”
“I can, Aunt Nealy. I really can.” Jake looked down at his boots. “When are you going to make your decision, Aunt Nealy?”
“In March. It’s weighing on your mind, isn’t it, Jake?”
“Yes. I know my weaknesses, and I know my strengths. I’m working on both.”
“I know you are. I am so proud of you, Jake. You know, you remind me of myself when I first came to Blue Diamond Farms. I was about the same age as you when you first got here. It was all new to you, whereas I had grown up on a farm much like this one so I can respect the time and effort you’ve put into working for me. I was around horses all my life, so it came a little easier to me than it did to you. I learned the workings of this farm real quick. I had to. I didn’t want Maud to toss me out on my ear, so I worked hard to prove myself. Sometimes I think I’m still trying to prove something. I guess what I’m trying to say to you is keep doing what you’re doing because it’s what I would have done in your place.”
“Thanks, Aunt Nealy,” Jake said, hugging her. “I’m going to run to the cottage and call my mom. She has afternoon telephone time this week. She worries about me, and that’s not good for her. I won’t be long.”
“It’s okay, Jake. Hatch is supposed to be calling me about now. I’ll let you know if Lee Liu calls. Take your time. You deserve a break.”
Nealy poured herself a cup of coffee and carried it out to the front porch, her haven. She was almost to the door when she turned around and went back to the kitchen for the portable phone.
As she sipped her coffee, her gaze strayed to the phone, willing it to ring. She leaned back in the old wicker rocker and let her thoughts scurry in front of her. She hadn’t really dealt with what she called Emmie’s defection. Nor did she want to deal with it at the moment. Maybe she would never deal with it. Maybe she should be grateful that Emmie was finally happy. What did her own unhappiness matter? She’d dealt with Nick’s defection and lived through it. There was no reason to believe she couldn’t handle Emmie’s new life. Maybe it was the shock of that last encounter. That horrible time in the sunroom at the rehab center when Emmie marched right up to her and said . . .
“. . . I’m not going home with you, Mom.”
“But, Emmie, the doctors said you’re being released. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to go back to your own house. That is what you meant, isn’t it?”
“No, Mom, that’s not what I meant. I’m going to Virginia to live with my real father. Look, I know this is a shock to you but it’s what I want. It’s what Dad wants, too. Doctor Hunter has given his approval. He’s talked extensively to Dad, and he thinks it will benefit me and him both. Since you were too busy to come to the sessions or even talk to Doctor Hunter on the phone, and I’m not blaming you, Mom, it showed me what I needed to know. Now, you can get angry, you can spit and snarl, or you can walk away and go back to the farm. It’s your choice.”
Bile rose in her throat. “What about Gabby?” was all she could manage to squeeze past her tight lips.
“He’s looking forward to meeting her. Of course she’s going with me. I can bring her to visit you whenever you like—holidays, summers, whatever.”
“I think I’d like to know why, Emmie.”
“He was the part that was always missing from my life book. There were too many missing pages in the book, Mom. I’ve had nothing to do but think this past year. I had to pull out, for inspection, every single dumb-ass thing I’ve done during my whole life. After I did that I had to write down those dumb-ass things and then I had to show those same dumb-ass things to Doctor Hunter so we could discuss them. You probably don’t know too much about shrinks, Mom, but they do not tell you what to do or how to do it. I was the one who had to figure it all out and work from there. This, Mom, is not one of my dumb-ass decisions. This one is as right as it can be. I’m sorry if you have trouble accepting it.”
“Why wouldn’t I have trouble accepting it? That man, your father, threatened to blow off my head with a shotgun if I ever told anyone he was the father of my child. Yeah, I’m having some trouble with that. I carried you, I gave birth to you, I made sure you were taken care of. I did it all. Me. Not him. Now, you’re telling me that wasn’t good enough. Now, you’re going with him? That, I will never understand.”
“Yes, Mom, you did all those things. But you forgot something. You forgot to love me along the way. There’s a big difference between taking care of someone and loving that person. You’re the one who needs to talk to someone about her feelings. I’m okay with mine. I’m just sorry I screwed up your life.”
“He doesn’t love you, Emmie. He wants one of my horses, and he thinks if he cozies up to you, I’ll sell him one. Don’t you get it? Stop being such a fool.”
Emmie took a step backward. “Mom, he didn’t call me. I called him, and he came right away, the very next morning. He does love me. I feel it. It’s what’s been missing all my life. I feel it, Mom. Eve
rything in your life and mine, up till now, has been about horses. He doesn’t want one of your horses, so rest easy on that score. He doesn’t want anything from you.”
“Yes, he does. He wants you. You belong to me, Emmie, not him.”
“Mom, I don’t belong to you. I’m your daughter, just like Nick is your son. You don’t own him either. He’s his own person. I’m my own person. I spent half my life trying to be like you and the other half trying to please you. I wasn’t able to do either, so I moved on. I will always care about you, Mom. I’ll make sure Gabby visits so she can maintain a relationship with you.”
“Don’t bother, Emmie. You made your choice. And I’ve just made mine.”
“Mom, wait! I want you to think about something. If things hadn’t worked out the way they did, you wouldn’t be who you are today. We probably wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation. You’d probably still be back in Virginia with Rhy and Pyne. You would never have come to Kentucky, you would never have met Maud and Jess. You wouldn’t own the biggest and best Thoroughbred racing stable in the state of Kentucky and you sure as hell wouldn’t be a two-time Triple Crown winner. Nor would you have met and danced with the president of the United States. You wouldn’t have Nick for a son either. And, by God, you wouldn’t have had a movie made about your life that just might get nominated for an Academy Award. You think about all those things, Mom. Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t be married to Hatch either.”
“You’re a fool, Emmie . . .”
. . . Nealy’s eyes snapped open when the phone shrilled. She reached out for it with one hand while her free hand wiped at the hot tears scalding her eyes.
“Nealy?”
“Yes, Hatch, it’s me. How are you? What’s going on? I have so much to tell you, but you go first.” She continued to knuckle her eyes.
Nealy watched as a small brown bird flew into one of the evergreens by the front steps. He seemed poised for flight on the tip of the branch. He was so tiny, so fragile-looking. How could such a tiny bird fly and soar? Once Emmie had been a tiny baby. She couldn’t fly, though, and for a long time she couldn’t talk either. When the bird took wing, Nealy concentrated on what Hatch was saying.
Kentucky Sunrise Page 16
