“He’s about the most arrogant man I’ve ever met,” she fumed. “He’s the last person I’d ever have chosen to work with. He makes me so uncomfortable I even dread going back to work with him at the clinic.”
“Hey, Morgan, you get along with everybody!” Alex sounded astonished, and then she added slowly, “You sure you’re not falling for him?”
“For Luke? Oh, phooey, Alex. You know me better than that. Of course I’m not attracted to Luke Gilbert!” But even as the vehement denial came out of her mouth, Morgan knew with sudden clarity that Alex was right. She was attracted to Luke. She had been from the first moment she’d laid eyes on him. She didn’t want to be, she didn’t want to face it, but it didn’t seem a matter over which she had any control. The knowledge took her breath away and made her slump back weakly on the pillows.
As Tess would say, she had a “thing” for Luke Gilbert.
How stupid, how absolutely stupid of her!
Chapter Five
It took every ounce of Morgan’s energy to change the subject to something safer.
“So, Alex, tell me about you. Are you over morning sickness yet?” Alex was four months pregnant, and this second pregnancy had been rocky from the start.
“I hope so. I realize now how lucky I was with Jonathan. I hardly had a moment’s discomfort until I went into labor. But with this one, it’s been rough, trying to keep up with Jonnie at home, see patients at work and still have time with Cam. A little difficult when you’re running off to vomit every ten minutes.” Alex’s voice turned thoughtful. “You know, having babies has changed me, Morgan.”
“How so?”
“Well, it’s made me a better doctor, for one thing. I’m more aware now of the pressures on people, especially women, and how hard it is to balance work and home and kids and a husband you love. And it’s also made me realize that as hectic as it all is, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I know now that I want all those things in my life.”
Morgan listened, and a sudden fierce longing rose in her. What would it be like if Luke loved her, if she was going to have his baby?
Idiot. She was being an idiot.
“I’d be less than whole if I didn’t have them,” Alex was saying. “Or if I had one thing without the others.”
She paused for a second, obviously belatedly thinking of Morgan’s single state, and added in a rush, “Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not suggesting for a minute that everyone should live this way. You need to be half nuts to get into it in the first place. But on the other hand, my friend, don’t slam any doors shut before you’re really sure that whatever’s on the other side isn’t something that would make you happy, okay?”
“But I am happy,” Morgan insisted. She was. At least, she had been. Was she at the moment?
Alex made it sound as though love and marriage and children were choices Morgan had deliberately turned down instead of options that had never been viable. And they certainly weren’t now.
“Just so you’re not cutting off your nose to spite your face with this guy. Ooops.” There was a huge crash from Alex’s end and a furious wail from Jonathan. “Gotta go, Morgan. Jonnie’s upset the high chair on himself. Talk to you soon. Get better quick.”
Morgan ended the call, half wishing she’d never made it in the first place. Admitting to herself that she had some sort of schoolgirl crush on Luke Gilbert was so embarrassing she felt like hiding her head under the covers.
Instead, she slid down, pulled them up to her chin and fell asleep, a long, healing sleep that left her rested and eager to get back to her routine. She also resolved with grim determination to ignore her newfound feelings about Luke Gilbert.
She went back to work the next day, still weak and a little shaky. She was dreading her first encounter with Luke, but she also wanted to get it over with. The memory of her tirade mortified her, and she was going to have to apologize.
They met during office hours that afternoon, and it wasn’t all that bad. She might have known his perfect manners would prevail.
“I’m glad you’re well again, Morgan,” was all he said when they both came into the coffee room. His voice was cool and remote.
“Luke, I’m sorry for the things I said when you came to the house. I’m a rotten patient and I was rude. I apologize.”
His half smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“All doctors are bad patients, Morgan. Don’t give it another thought.”
She was pitifully grateful that he didn’t dwell on the outrageous things she’d said, but a tiny part of her wished he’d be a little more friendly. He poured a cup of coffee and was on his way out of the room with it when he paused and added, “If you have a few moments after work, we need to discuss schedules and rotations.”
“Of course,” she agreed, and when they met in the reception area late that day, they had a businesslike discussion. Luke discussed office hours, on-call schedules and asked a few questions about some of her patients he’d seen while she was away, and that was that.
Again, Morgan felt let down. She scurried off as soon as things were settled, and as the days passed, she told herself she didn’t really need to have much to do with Luke, which was a blessing, considering how she felt. In fact they hardly saw each other most of the time; they were frantic during office hours and rarely ended up on St Joe’s obstetrical floor at the same time.
As days turned into weeks, Morgan realized that there was no question that having Luke on staff at Women’s Place made an enormous difference to the workload. She actually had three consecutive days off during her second week back at work, something that hadn’t happened in the entire year she’d worked there.
It was sheer heaven. She had time to hire a carpenter to rebuild the back stairs, and while she was at it, she also hired a cleaning service to shovel the house out on a biweekly basis. Weird, how she only began to really notice the dust and disorder after Luke’s disastrous visit. It was almost as if she were beginning to see things through his eyes, God forbid.
She even reluctantly phoned her mother in Florida, realizing she hadn’t heard from her for several months. The number rang five times, and then her mother’s answering machine clicked on.
“India Merriweather. I’m out at the moment, so please leave your number and I’ll return your call.” Her voice was husky, deep and dramatic. Morgan reflected that she had inherited her voice, if little else, from her mother. She left a brief message and hung up, feeling both relieved and guilty. Conversations with India, rare as they were, never failed to upset her. Well, she’d done her duty. India could return the call or not, as she chose.
Morgan and Tessa also finished the room they were preparing for the baby. They’d papered it in a rainbow pattern, and now they assembled the wooden crib Morgan had bought and filled the drawers of the small white dresser with the baby clothes Morgan’s friends at St Joe’s had given them.
“It’s the best baby’s room ever, isn’t it Morgan? Kyla Jean’s gonna be so happy in here.” That night Tessa sat for a long time beside the crib in the armless rocking chair Morgan had found at an antique store, rocking back and forth, her eyes soft and filled with dreams.
Touched by the picture she made, Morgan paused in the hallway and stood silently watching for a moment imagining how marvelous it was going to be, having a baby in the house. Her eyes rested on the compact mound beneath Tessa’s black sweatshirt.
It wouldn’t be long now.
Two days later, Morgan was slumped on the sofa, catching up on back issues of medical journals. Tessa had made lasagna for dinner, and Morgan felt pleasantly full and more than a little sleepy.
Tessa had been talking on the phone upstairs, and now she came down, slipping her arms into the oversize black leather jacket Morgan had bought her for her birthday.
“Dylan’s coming to pick me up. We’re going to the vampire movie at the Roxy. That’s okay with you, eh, Morgan?” Tessa had experimented with peroxide that afternoon, mid now her purple hair
had startling canary yellow streaks.
“Try to get home before midnight, Tess. You look tired, sweetie. You need more rest now that you’re in your last trimester.” It was as close as Morgan dared come to flatly telling the girl to stay home.
Tessa gave her an impish grin. “You’re the one with bags under your eyes, Morgan. Three babies in two nights is pushing it. You oughta tell your patients to time things better.”
“If only,” Morgan agreed fervently. “But I’m going to have an early night tonight.” She yawned, and yawned again, aware that she still hadn’t regained her usual energy after the bout of flu. She’d caught herself nodding off with her head on her desk that afternoon when she was trying to update charts.
Charts, her nemesis. She’d brought home a stack, and she really ought to be working on them right now. Rachel, the office nurse, had made some pointed comments about how efficient Dr. Gilbert was in keeping charts up to date.
Damn Rachel, anyway. She’d discovered that such remarks brought out every one of Morgan’s defenses, as well as her competitive spirit. When it came to the job, whatever Luke could do, Morgan had vowed she could do better.
Except look drop dead handsome every day of the week, Morgan conceded with a little smile. She couldn’t help but notice how sexy he looked in his elegant clothing.
“You going to be warm enough in that dress?” Tessa was wearing a short, loose purple dress over green tights.
“Warm enough? I’m roasting,” Tessa said. “Maybe I don’t even need this jacket. I just showered and already I feel sticky again.” She patted her forehead, careful not to disturb her makeup.
“It’s not that warm out, Tess. It’s October and the nights are cool. Your baby speeds up your metabolism and makes you feel warmer than normal. Take your jacket along.”
“So it’s Miss Kyla who’s makin’ me sweat.” Tessa grinned and placed her palm on her stomach, bending her head to talk to her baby. “Yer hot stuff already, kid.” She slung the jacket over her arm and said to Morgan, “I’m gonna wait for Dylan on the porch, it’s cooler out there.” Morgan was silent as Tessa went outside, wishing she could say, “Stay home with me, Tess. Don’t go roaring off on that dratted bike with that irresponsible young thug.”
A few moments later Morgan heard the sound of the bike in the drive. Dylan called Tess, and then the bike roared away.
Morgan scowled. Knowing Tessa was clinging to Dylan’s back on a motorcycle wasn’t a reassuring thought at all, but then, nothing about Dylan was reassuring.
She went back to her reading, but soon she realized she’d scanned the same paragraph three times and still couldn’t say what the article was about. She tossed the journal to the floor, wishing that Tessa had come with a guidebook.
It was so difficult to know what was best to do about Dylan. Tessa fancied herself in love with him. He’d fathered her baby, although he refused point-blank to attend prenatal classes or have anything to do with the birth. He’d told Morgan flatly that he wasn’t coming to the hospital when “it” was born, either. He wasn’t into that sort of stuff. He’d told Tess to get rid of it, he’d added with a casual cruelty that had made Morgan want to slap him.
Obnoxious as she found him, however, Morgan still understood the appeal he had for Tessa. At seventeen, Dylan was tall and strong, with well-developed muscles in his shoulders and torso, and he had unruly black hair that he wore wild and long. Physically, he was a strikingly handsome young man, but in Morgan’s opinion, it was a definite case of looks only being skin deep.
Tessa had related a few scant facts about Dylan, but Tessa’s social worker, Frannie Myles, had filled in lots more.
He lived, off and on, with his mother in a controlled housing unit on the east side; he’d quit school in grade seven; he worked part-time in a pool hall and spent the rest of his time hanging out with a street gang. He’d already had several minor arrests for shoplifting and stealing hubcaps. Frannie figured he used pot for sure, maybe something more, but at least there was no indication of him dealing drugs.
Alarming as they were, none of those things would have made Morgan dislike him as much as she did if she hadn’t glanced through a window when, thinking himself unobserved, he’d kicked out viciously at Skippy as the little dog danced around him. Worst of all, though, was the domineering way he treated Tessa.
She’d had countless heated discussions with Tess about him, to no avail. Tessa was only fifteen, but she was both older and younger than her years. She’d been abandoned at a women’s shelter at three months of age, and she’d been in five different foster homes over the years. None of them were terrible, but none had been wonderful, either, and at thirteen the girl began to act out her anger when the couple she’d lived with for three years suddenly divorced, leaving her homeless once again.
She dropped out of school, ran away from the group home she was placed in and lived on the street for eight months, during which time she’d met Dylan. He became her protector, in return for sex, of course.
To Tessa he was her knight in shining armor.
Fortunately, Tessa also met Frannie Myles during her time on the street. Frannie was a social worker at the hospital, and she did volunteer work at a teen shelter on weekends. She was touched by Tessa’s vivacity and her determined optimism. When Tessa became pregnant, Frannie had enlisted Morgan’s help in convincing the young girl that an abortion was the best and only choice, but the attempt backfired.
During Tessa’s first appointment, Morgan’s heart went out to the girl. She listened to Tessa explaining that she wanted and needed to have her baby, that given the chance she’d go back to school, finish her education, turn her life around, whatever it took. She loved dolls, she confided with heart wrenching naïveté, and she wanted her baby more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.
Morgan believed her. There was a determination in Tessa that Morgan admired, and as she’d done a thorough physical on Tessa’s thin body that spring afternoon, she’d really listened to the girl, and something inside of her responded.
Morgan had her huge house, which was pretty much empty if you discounted the animals. She adored babies, although she’d reluctantly admitted several years before that she probably wouldn’t be having any of her own. She’d considered single parenthood and decided against it. She knew better than anyone how much children needed two parents, and she wouldn’t deliberately do that to a child.
She had no experience with teenagers, but what the heck, they were people, weren’t they? She’d learn.
So, against almost everyone’s advice, Morgan opened her home and her heart to Tessa. The girl responded with enthusiasm, studying with a tutor so she could enter the special classes the school board offered for pregnant teens, showing Morgan in every way how grateful she was. The only real misgivings Morgan had ever had were over Dylan.
Well, Doc, what can you do to change the situation? she asked herself now, as she had so many times in the past five months. And the answer, certainly for the moment, was not a darned thing.
She’d talked it over countless times with Frannie, and they’d agreed that if Morgan forbade Tessa to see Dylan, all the girl’s issues about security, love, protection and freedom would surface, and Morgan knew the tenuous bond she and Tess shared wasn’t yet strong enough to withstand such a confrontation.
So if you can’t change it, accept it, she reminded herself now, trying to put her nagging uneasiness about Tessa out of her mind.
To heck with the charts. She’d have a long, hot bath and go to bed, she decided.
Luke was in his study plowing through a stack of charts when Eileen tapped at the door and then stuck her head in, her eyes big behind her glasses, her voice lowered to a conspirational whisper. “Adam Hendricks is in the living room. He says to tell you he won’t leave without talking to you.”
Adam. Luke hadn’t seen or spoken to his friend since the day he’d found out Sophie was pregnant by Adam’s son. That meeting had been explosive. As f
ar as Luke was concerned, they had nothing more to say to each other.
His jaw set in a grim line, he brushed past Eileen and strode into the living room.
Adam was sitting in an armchair that seemed too small to hold his huge, muscular frame. He’d been a football player in his youth, and his job as a contractor kept him physically fit. He was dressed casually, as always, his big body threatening to spill out of his worn jeans and checked shirt. He got to his feet when Luke came in, and the two men stood facing one another across the low coffee table, the tension between them thick and palpable.
“Adam.” Luke’s voice was icy cold. “What can I do for you?” Against his will, he remembered pleasant Saturday afternoons he’d spent with this big, affable man over games of cribbage and glasses of beer, laughing and discussing everything under the sun, and for a moment, the loss of his best friend seemed unbearable.
“I thought maybe we could talk about this mess our kids are in without shouting this time,” Adam said, his craggy face solemn. “It’s pretty stupid to go on the way we’ve been doing, don’t you figure, Luke? There’re practical matters to be considered, things Peggy and I would like to know. After all, this baby will be our grandchild as well as yours.”
Even though he still felt murderously angry when he thought of Jason’s role in this, Adam was right. It was childish to not speak to each other. Luke sat down and waited.
“This whole thing has caused a lot of upset in our family,” Adam began. “The other kids are affected, as well as Jason. We’ve talked it over with all of them, and what bothers us the most is what’s gonna happen to the baby.”
At seventeen, Jason was the oldest of four, with two sisters, twelve and fourteen, and a brother who was only nine. They’d welcomed Sophie into their midst, and Luke remembered with bitter irony how grateful he’d been when Sophie and Jason became friends.
The Baby Doctor Page 5
