I can’t comment on what it was like when it was in use, but as an abandoned wreck, the Lou Zephyr was a Discordant clubhouse. The first night I went exploring, I found tons of evidence that pixies were using the basement for illegal raves. There was also a horrific stench that made me think werewolves might have camped out there at one point as well.
But neither the inside of the building nor its history interested me. The stairs were collapsed in on the eighth floor and the whole interior of the structure was pretty unstable, but the somewhat modern elevator shaft was surprisingly intact. I climbed through the panel in the ceiling of the old elevator car and found the handrails maintenance workers had used to get around.
The higher I climbed, the more the constant thrum of energy ebbed away, replaced by the rush of pure adrenaline. Earth witches drew their power from energy stores in the ground, so the farther away we were, the weaker we got. Lots of us won’t ever get on an airplane for this very reason. Personally, I’ve never been on an airplane because I can’t afford to go anywhere worth the risks, but someday, dammit, someday.
By the time I made it to the roof, I was almost too exhausted to enjoy the view. Almost. I shrugged off my backpack and unearthed the beer inside before finding a safe-ish place to sit down on the crumbling edge. I stared out over the twinkling lights of a city that was mostly asleep. My intention was to have a few beers and relax. The combination of the view and exhaustion from the climb should have been enough to take my mind off everything I’d overheard earlier.
Except that last part wasn’t happening.
Try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking about mom’s confession. More than that, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I lost my virginity to a soulless puppet. Aside from being a massive blow to my ego, it had to be related to my string of bad luck ever since. Obviously, things had gone from bad to worse after Clyde managed to send me his token, but I can’t deny that something had always been messed up. There had to be something to that.
Of course, thinking about Clyde certainly wasn’t going to help matters either. Yet even as I tried desperately to think of anything else, the image of his too perfect everything was already trying to brand itself on my brain. I took another long pull from my beer, wishing I’d thought to bring something stronger. Okay, sure, getting drunk on the crumbling roof of a thirteen story building would have been a really bad idea, but at least I wasn’t yet to the point where jumping sounded like a good idea. Though, I can’t really say I was a whole lot saner than that either.
There was a noise behind me, like something skidding across the graveled roof and I nearly did fall over the edge as Nai appeared from out of nowhere.
“Damn, kid! You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Donna? W-whoa-” Clearly, as she took an ill-advised step backwards and almost sailed over the edge, Nai hadn’t expected to run into anyone either. “What the…?”
“Welcome to the unofficial Blackbird Observatory,” I said with a wink.
She raised an eyebrow at me. “You mean other people come up here?”
“Kids have been using this building to party since before I was born, but no, I don’t suspect too many people have the stomach to come all the way up here these days.”
“I know the stairs are gone, so how did you even get up here?” she asked. I smiled and pointed to the elevator shaft. Nai made a weird gasping noise as she poked her head into the shaft and looked at the steep climb.
“Isn’t that like, suicidal for you?”
“Kinda,” I shrugged. For as obnoxious as she was, I couldn’t deny that Nai was pretty damned observant. Granted, I wasn’t sure that didn’t just make her more dangerous. “But not really. If I fall, I can slow myself as soon as I get close enough to the ground. I’m more vulnerable to a magical attack up here though.”
“So why do you do it?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” I asked with a snort. “Same reason you’re up here. Sometimes I need a place where I know I’m not going to be bothered by anyone else. And really, you can’t beat the view.”
Nai leaned over the edge and sniffed derisively.
“It’s a view of Blackbird.”
“Yeah, but from up here, it looks almost normal.”
“Normal is subjective,” she muttered and stood with her toes hanging off the side of the building.
“Showoff,” I chided and she shrugged.
“Eh, it’s not as thrilling as I thought it would be.” She took a step back and sat down a few feet from me. “There’s no adrenaline rush when you’re already dead.”
She held her eyes fixed deliberately on the distant scenery below us. As I suspected, there was something on her mind. It really was tough to like Nai, but oddly, I found that I did, even if she was unpleasant. In a way it was similar to the fondness I held for Harry and Desmond, but only just. With Nai, it was more that I felt a sense of sympathy. I knew that who she was wasn’t her fault and I knew the feeling of having no control over who or what you were. Still, Nai’s angst was a welcome break from my own issues.
“For what it’s worth, I’m a good listener and only half the gossip the other witches are,” I said and held out a bottle of beer. “What’s eating you enough that you’d rather sit up here on a rotting building instead of gleefully chasing the Discordant that you’re not supposed to be chasing?”
“How did you…?” she began but stopped as soon as she realized she was about to confess to bad behavior. Instead, she studied the label on the bottle of beer I’d given her. Yes, technically, she was a minor, but she was also a supernatural being, so I figured one beer was okay. “Belgian, huh? I’m impressed. With the way Seth and Desmond go through Red Shirt I assumed everyone in town had bad taste.”
“Red Shirt is cheap and local,” I said with a grimace that echoed her sentiments before narrowing my eyes in suspicion. “Aren’t you a little young to be a beer snob?”
“I was planning on attending university in London,” she said, taking a small, careful sip of beer. “While Jem went to parties and drank crappy lite beer, I studied the better brands so I wouldn’t look like an ignorant American.”
“That makes sense,” I admitted. “London sounds nice. I doubt I’ll ever get there, but I’d like to.”
“Yeah, same,” she said with a deep sigh before going silent again.
“So what is it?” I asked again after a few minutes.
“What’s what?”
“What’s bothering you?”
“I’m just… I wasn’t really in the mood for people,” she muttered, adding almost imperceptibly, “Especially certain people.”
I let it go. That last bit sounded suspiciously like guy trouble and even though I’d offered to listen, I was probably not the right person to give relationship advice to anyone. Instead, I grabbed another beer and we drank in silence.
“What about you?” she asked after several minutes.
“Me? I discovered that my mother is shady as hell,” I said with a snort of laughter, but let it die quickly. “Can I ask you something?” Maybe it was the beer, but suddenly, I didn’t feel like brooding in silence.
“I guess.”
“Am I… gross?”
Nai paused with the beer bottle halfway to her lips and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
“Would I have asked otherwise?” I snapped back.
“Well then, yes. You’re kind of gross. I mean, you have some gross habits.”
“Like biting my nails?”
“Like biting your nails when you’ve got junk under them. That’s not just gross, but kind of unsanitary.”
I frowned, but said nothing. I washed my hands. A lot, even. But I also worked on engines and ended up with grease under my nails that wouldn’t come out.
“You also chew on your hair,” Nai continued. “You pick your teeth and I’m pretty sure I also saw you wipe your nose on your sleeve.”
�
�Ouch,” I cringed. “I really do all of that?”
“You do,” she said, giving me a weird look.
“It’s okay, I appreciate your honesty,” I said with a defeated sigh. “I guess I can’t really blame a curse for my own grossness.”
“Curse?” Nai turned a curious eye on me.
“Let’s just say I’ve been unlucky in love,” I said with a wince. I wasn’t ready to give up on the idea that I was cursed just yet, but I couldn’t just ignore the fact that everyone who knew me had been too polite to tell me that I was too disgusting to get a date. “I just thought maybe there was more to it than a prolonged dry spell.”
“Ugh,” she said with a derisive snort into her beer bottle. “People give sex way too much power over their lives.”
My eyebrows shot up.
“That’s just human nature, Nai.”
Admittedly, it was an astute observation, one that I certainly couldn’t disagree with, but it was a little surprising coming out of the mouth of a teenager. It had not been all too long ago that I was Nai’s age and aside from the curse throwing a monkey wrench into everything, I was no different from my peers. That is, I was nothing more than a mess of turbo-charged hormones.
“It’s not everyone’s nature,” she muttered and took a long draw off her beer. I wasn’t sure exactly what to make of it, but I had a feeling this had something to do with why Nai had showed up to brood on the roof.
“Well, sure,” I said with a shrug. “I mean, I suppose there’s a few asexual folks out there, but for those of us who aren’t, it kind of sucks to be forced into celibacy.”
“Yeah, I imagine so…” Nai said, trailing off as a frown creased her forehead. “I’ve got to go,” she said, cutting off and standing abruptly. “Uh…That is… I should go home. I’m still required to play high school student tomorrow.” She looked down over the edge and turned back to me. “Are you going to be able to get down? I can’t carry you, but I’m sure Desmond’s still awake.”
“I’m good,” I said with a smile. “But I appreciate your concern.”
With a shrug, she left. If I hadn’t been used to seeing Desmond slip in and out of existence, it would have been really weird. With a stifled yawn, I picked up the empty beer bottles and put them back in my backpack before making the crazy climb back down to the ground, grateful for the boost of energy when my feet finally touched the earth.
As I walked home, my mind turned over the conversation with Nai. She was blunt, but her words just echoed what everyone else had already said. I couldn’t get a date. Not because I was cursed, but because I was repulsive. In a way, I should have been happy. Really, how hard would it be to change a few habits? All I had to do was pay a little more attention to my appearance and I’d have guys falling all over themselves to date me.
Yeah right.
And there was still the issue of Clyde. I wasn’t optimistic enough to think that a couple of dates would be enough to get him out of my head. I pushed down the nagging voice that questioned whether or not I even wanted him out of my head. Of course I did… I was being foolish because he was the only male paying attention to me. In fact, if he saw the real me he’d probably leave as quickly as… Wait a minute! I could practically feel the lightbulb click over my head as I began to craft a plan. I hurried home, fell into bed, and immediately passed out.
* * *
Donna spun around in the sunshine filled glade, feeling the swish of the silky skirt of her dress against her legs as she twirled. It was a strange and foreign feeling, but one that she thought she might be able to get used to. The sea green color perfectly complimented her pale skin and red hair. She looked down at her clean, polished, and perfectly manicured fingernails, noting that not one speck of engine grease remained.
Birds chirped and a light breeze blew her hair in a way that was both playful and alluring. She danced on graceful tiptoes over to the edge of a perfectly still, clear, blue pond and peered at her reflection. She barely recognized the fairytale princess staring back at her and for a moment, she felt a twinge of jealousy. Absurd, of course, that she was jealous of her own reflection, but Donna knew that this perfect and flawless vision was unobtainable in the real world and surprisingly, this was disappointing.
Still, she’d come here with a purpose. For once, she was meeting Clyde on her own terms. If she couldn’t get him out of her mind, the least she could do was make him see the truth. When he didn’t automatically appear as usual, she began to worry. Perhaps she was coming on too strong. With a grimace, she admonished herself for thinking like a weak-willed woman. But a moment later, the sound of hooves hitting the soft, grass covered forest floor grew louder and Clyde made his entrance.
And what an entrance it was.
The pristine white horse with its long, shiny mane and big brown eyes pranced about on two legs for a moment, showing off before coming to a kneeling halt beside the pond. Clyde let go of the golden reigns and slipped from the saddle, eyes wide with appreciation as he took in Donna’s new look. He reached out his hand, beckoning her.
Instead of swooning, Donna ignored the fluttering of her heart and saw the scene for what it was. Consequently, she found herself more disturbed than twitterpated. The least the incubus could do was put on a pair of pants every now and then.
Clyde beckoned her again, but she ignored the urge to place her hand in his and ride off into the fairytale sunset. Instead, Donna took a step back. As she did, she concentrated on her appearance. Not the way she thought she looked, but the face she’d studied and memorized before going to bed. The silky dress faded, replaced by a stained white tank top, ripped and faded jeans, and a worn out flannel that was two sizes too big. The manicure disappeared, revealing ragged, chewed nails with almost permanent grease stains. She fought the urge to scratch at a large, angry zit that appeared in the middle of her chin and rubbed at the bruised panda bear circles that ringed her sleep-deprived eyes.
She looked up just in time to see Clyde scrambling to school his shocked expression into something more neutral. She raised her eyebrows just as he pasted his perfectly brilliant smile on.
“What game are we playing, Donna?”
“Ain’t no game, Clyde,” Donna said and sat down, absently picking at the flakes of mud that were dried on her bare feet and the hem of her jeans. “This is me. The real, unfiltered me. This is the reason I can’t get a guy to look at me twice in the real world.” She looked up, catching his eye and taking a deep, grounding breath before adding, “The reason you’re still able to come into my head after I broke the Rose family curse. If you want me, you’re going to have to accept the real me.”
For a brief moment, Donna actually thought that her plan had worked. Clyde seemed frozen in place as he took in all of her flaws. But instead of running, he broke into a wide grin and reached out, pulling her to her feet.
“Oh Donna, Donna, Donna,” he chuckled, twirling her around the glade with a little too much enthusiasm. “It’s not your appearance that I love, darling. It’s you! I love YOU, Madonna Rose!”
* * *
This time, I didn’t fall out of bed. I didn’t destroy the alarm clock. In fact, I woke up in a more calm and rational manner than I had in quite some time. Too bad that was the only calm and rational thing about me.
Clyde loves me.
He’d said it. He’d said it clearly and without question and he’d said it after seeing me. The real me and not the flawless dream version of me. The warm, fuzzy feeling that invaded my innards was so not what I needed.
I crawled out of bed and looked at the clock. It was still pretty early. I’d only been sleeping for a few hours, but going back to sleep was out of the question. I pulled on some clothes, cringing as I realized that they were the same wrinkled and smelly clothes I’d worn the day before, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t looking to impress anyone today. No, today I would be following in the time honored tradition of women everywhere who suddenly realized that their life isn’t as together as they thought
it was.
I was going to go visit my mom.
I grabbed my coat and keys, swung the front door open, and ducked just in time to avoid the fist that was headed for my face. Standing on the front porch with his hand halfway through the motion of knocking, was the last person I’d ever expected to show up on my doorstep.
“Oh! Hi, Harry. You gave me a bit of a fright,” I said as I took a staggered step back. “Come on in.”
Harry looked around hesitantly for a moment.
“Anyone else here?”
“Betty and Louise are at work,” I assured him. To anyone else his actions would have seemed suspicious, but I knew he was just trying to avoid Louise. He came in, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, one hand in his pocket. “Want to sit down?” I asked, indicating the one chair that wasn’t piled up with blankets and snack wrappers.
“No, I’ll just be here for a moment of your time. In fact, I shouldn’t be here at all,” he said with more nervous shifting. “But for whatever reason, I’ve got a gut instinct that is going against everything.”
“That seems to be going around,” I said with a wry smile. Seriously. Desmond might still be denying it, but Seth and even Bogie were starting to have strong gut feelings about things. Something weird was going on and I refused to accept that it was just the coming battle.
“Well, regardless,” he said with a huff and pulled something out of his pocket, which he held out to me. It was a small, leather bound book that looked positively ancient. “I’ve marked the pages that may be of interest to you.”
As soon as Harry passed the book into my hands, I felt the rush of powerful energy and my eyes went wide.
“Harry! Do you know what this is?”
“I had an inkling when I dug it up out of the church’s flower bed a few years back. My gut at the time said I’d do well to throw it in a holy fire, but your mother was the one who convinced me to keep a hold of it. Said it had a strong past and may be of use in the future.”
He looked up at me and frowned, mouth silently working as if he had more to say, but found it difficult. Not that I could blame him too much. The book, a handwritten book of spells, contained some powerful earth magic. That it had been buried only served to strengthen it. As a Catholic mystic, even just holding the book was probably difficult as it forced Harry to see beyond his beliefs, which was usually a precursor to truth madness.
Rise of the Discordant: The Complete Five Book Series Page 62
