“What? But that makes no sense!”
“It makes perfect sense, you idiot!” She tried to attack me again. This time, she caught me with one arm and I fell back on the pavement. “We’re opposites!”
“Well okay, yeah,” I admitted. “But see, that’s how this whole mess began. We’re not really opposites at all. We can’t possibly be split into good and evil when such absolute concepts have no place in the world.”
Nai stopped trying to attack me and instead looked at me like I was on drugs.
“What?”
“Think about it,” I said, getting up and cringing as Nai flickered again. If I couldn’t get her to calm down and listen, we were going to run out of time. I think. To be honest, I didn’t ask Eller what unstable actually meant and I wasn’t about to now. “You’re supposed to be the dark half of our soul, yet you’re really only just kind of unpleasant. If you were totally evil, you’d be trying to destroy the world without considering the repercussions. You certainly wouldn’t be trying to destroy the Discordant.”
“Yes I would,” she argued. “Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean that I want Chaos to win. Remember, good and evil are both constructs of Order, so regardless of whether I’m good or bad, I’m still right.”
“Right and wrong have nothing to do with good and evil,” I countered, remembering my own dilemma over this earlier.
“Right. Ugh!” Nai rolled her eyes at me. “We’re both right because we’re both halves of an ordered concept. Just because we’re the physical manifestations of an absolute concept doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for gray area.”
“I don’t follow,” I said and Nai laughed.
“Of course you don’t, because you’re an idiot. And my calling you an idiot instead of having patience with your stupid self is part of my dark nature whereas if I was the light half, I’d sit here and try to spoon feed these basic concepts to your dumb ass. None of this has any bearing on right or wrong. Order is simply right, and Chaos is wrong.”
“Okay, Miss Smarty Pants, if Order is right and Chaos is wrong, where does that leave us, since we’re kind of part of both, remember?”
“We are not.”
“Yeah, we are. At least I am. I can do Discordant magic.”
“Well then you’re wrong. I’m right.”
“So if I’m wrong and you’re right, we can’t be good and evil.”
“You really are that dumb, aren’t you?”
“Ugh! Come on, Nai!” I said, exasperated now. Leave it to my sister to start an argument when I needed her to calm down in order to start a necessary argument. “This is getting us nowhere. We have to calm down and-”
“No Jem, we don’t and that’s the part that I don’t think you can wrap your head around. Look, good and evil aren’t synonymous with wrong and right any more than our being a split soul and an aberration is, but that’s not even the biggest flaw in your logic.”
“Oh? Okay then, oh so smart sister of mine,” I said, losing all patience. “Enlighten me.”
“With pleasure.” Nai grinned a grin that made me nervous and I noticed that her eyes were actually glowing. “Were you paying any attention, you would have seen that while you were trying to get me to stop arguing with you long enough to explain to me what it was that we could do to shift the paradigm into something with stability, we were able to do just that. The only problem is, your singlemindedness in trying to stabilize your own being was selfishly throwing mine into flux, so I did the only thing I could and made a sacrifice.”
“Sacrifice? Nai, what the heck are you even talking about?” I began to ask, but suddenly it wasn’t just Nai’s eyes that were glowing. It was as if her entire being became light. I wanted to look away, but I was unable. Suddenly it wasn’t just Nai either. I was glowing too! I stared transfixed as the pinpoints of light seemed to pierce my skin. I flinched, but I felt nothing as the light entered me and the world was again sharply pulled away.
* * *
“So you’ve created a new Truth. I can’t say that I’m surprised.”
Jem looked up and realized he was outside of time. The Creator certainly didn’t look imposing, wearing the actor’s portrayal of God that Jem had come to favor, yet there was something in its tone that gave Jem pause.
“I created a Truth?”
“It is not unheard of for a battle of such magnitude to act as a catalyst for such revelations. Yours is not the first enlightenment of the evening and if I am not mistaken, will not be the last. However, battle or no battle, I had a feeling the two of you would be shaking things up, and soon. I just hadn’t realized it would be quite so soon.”
“Two of us?” Jem turned, surprised to see that his sister stood next to him. It seemed she had regained her substantial form. At least, she wasn’t flickering any longer. Though it did occur to him that she’d been standing silently for some time and wondered if she was somehow bound or an illusion. In Jem’s experience, Nai was incapable of silence.
As if she heard him, Nai shot her brother a dirty look, but still she kept silent.
“Your sister has already discovered that should Order prevail, there will be a good many changes. As such, she has accepted her fate and is here only to bear witness.”
“Her fate?” Jem swallowed hard, not liking the ominous tone the Creator had taken on. Especially since Nai’s last words before they were pulled from the Cycle had been something about a sacrifice.
“Nothing to fear, Jem,” the Creator said, waving a dismissive hand. “I can’t say that I was all too surprised to find that the two of you defied all expectations. Despite your unconventional beginning and the pull to be something other than what had been assigned, you did, in fact, excel as Guardians. And yet, it quickly became clear that your potential was stifled in such a role.”
Jem’s expression denoted confusion and the Creator smiled warmly.
“I made a mistake, Jem,” the Creator explained to the teen. “And yet, one of the most ancient of Truths states that there are no mistakes, only results.”
“Sounds like another paradox,” Jem muttered, but quickly schooled his thoughts. “Sorry,” he added, but the Creator dismissed the apology with a smile.
“Think nothing of it, Jem. You are correct, though you will find, if you search long enough, that all of creation is but a series of paradoxical fallacies that would turn even my own mind in on itself. No, there are some mysteries that not even I should be allowed to know. But I find I have meandered in my meaning, as is something I am known to do from time to time, however, now is not a prudent time to consider such philosophical matters.
“No, as I began, there are no mistakes, yet my original assignation of your soul to the role of Guardian was a result, yes. There is to be a change, Jem. A cataclysmic change. Your paradox and the role it plays will be a boon to Order. The new Truth, I daresay, will be the first step toward our victory, but it will come at a cost. A sacrifice is required to facilitate a rebirth.”
“Um,” Jem licked his lips, finding that his throat had gone dry at the Creator’s proclamation. There was that word again. “What exactly do you mean by a sacrifice?”
“Fear not, Jem,” the Creator said with another warm smile. “Your soul and your sister’s will become autonomous.”
“Oh.” Jem visibly relaxed. “Wait… But I thought we were… oh… you… Do you mean we’ll be completely balanced?”
“Completely? Of course not,” the Creator said with a hint of a smile. “However, by prematurely invoking the severance, you will bring about the events required to restore the balance of Order to Blackbird. What you will be required to do will not be easy, but on that I can say no more. You’ll not have long,” it warned with a stern look. “The instability that began with the creation of your paradox will accelerate at an exponential rate. Go now, Jem, you as well, Nai. Time is of great importance.
* * *
The first thing I noticed after being slammed back into the Cycle was that the buzzing was l
ouder than before. The next thing I noticed was that Nai was still glowing and so was I. Before I could comment, she grabbed me by the shoulders and yanked me back out of the Cycle.
“What are you doing?”
“You heard the Creator,” she shouted over the cacophony of turbulent buzzing that seemed would never leave my head. “We don’t have much time, so we’re taking a shortcut.”
If she hadn’t had a death grip on my arm, I don’t know what would have happened. I’d never traveled this way and the only word I could use to describe it was disorienting. I knew we were headed for the mill site, but only because that was where we had to be. From my perspective, we were traveling through a void that felt like it was full of maple syrup. I could vaguely make out shapes of things within the Cycle, but nothing was clear enough to use as a navigational landmark. How this was supposed to be quicker than walking, I had no idea.
But finally, Nai dragged me back into the Cycle and as soon as I stopped feeling like I was going to barf, I understood. Just like when we left the Cycle to meet with the Creator, not a moment had passed.
“Whoa!”
I steadied myself. Nai brought us back in right at the edge of the sinkhole. One misstep and I would have fallen into the realm of Chaos.
“You ready?”
I looked up. Nai stood on the opposite side of the portal, holding out her hands and grinning like a maniac. I almost shouted at her to be careful, but then it hit me. The storm that had begun only moments before was now a full scale tempest. Beyond the squalling gales of wind, blinding lightning, and the monsoon-like downpour, I saw them. The Discordant. All of the creatures of Chaos that had come through the portal into our world were circling, getting closer. In a matter of moments, they would be on us.
A sacrifice.
Suddenly, it all made sense. I returned my sister’s maniacal grin, reached across the chasm to take her hands in mine, and jumped.
Chapter 10
Sacrifice, Severance, Covenant, Heal
It will never cease to amaze me that we, agents of Order, who possess knowledge that would tear apart the minds of the humans we protect, can be just as narrowly defined as the last cycle in which we lived. Desmond’s insistence that he was still required to atone for Sarah’s death, despite now having all of the needed proof to the contrary, was a reminder of this focus. I did all I could, explained all that I knew, but ultimately, it would be up to Desmond to interpret his fate in a way that would finally give him the in-Cycle closure he needed.
“My soul and yours split.”
The truth had been weighing on me as I tried to explain to Desmond the strength of our connection, yet somehow, despite knowing deep down that there was no other explanation, it didn’t seem possible until he said the words aloud. As if his voice was the key that opened the floodgates, unleashing a torrent of truths that I was certain we were never meant to uncover. And then, there it was. The one truth I did not want to face, but that I needed to embrace before we could move forward.
I had been the dark half of our split soul.
On one hand, it made no sense. Mine was the selfless soul, sacrificing my life for Desmond’s in every cycle, and yet, somehow it made more sense than anything I thought I believed. Though we'd both had countless lifetimes to find our soul's balance, the darkness had always been there, influencing my every action. I now knew this to be true.
Suddenly, the fact that I'd survived the angel made sense. It wasn't that my martyr soul saved me, but rather my absolute belief that my own actions, throughout the ages, were unquestionably in the right. This made me wonder about Desmond and his motivation. It was possible, very likely even, that the darkness holding him back was some sort of hesitation based on an overbalance of his own soul.
Desmond immediately balked, but caught himself. He knew as well as I did that I spoke the truth. I imagined he was experiencing the reconciliation of truth in much the same way that I had just moments before. I opened my mouth, intent on words meant to comfort, but before I could utter a sound, Desmond, Blackbird, and everything else blurred and fell away and I was thrust into yet another vision.
* * *
I found myself in a darkness unlike any I can remember in recent memory, lying on my back. Below me, a thin bed of animal skins was all that lay between my body and the floor. I sat up and my hands fumbled over a rough surface in front of me until I found something. A wall? Rough, stone, perhaps. My bare feet moved of their own accord, making only the softest of sounds as they padded against what felt like hard packed earth. Ahead of me, a light shone dimly. As I neared, it became clear that I’d been in some sort of cavern or tunnel and the light was the entrance. It was night, but the moon and stars above shone brighter than I’d ever imagined possible. Even back within my lifetime, before electric light and pollution obscured the night sky, I don’t recall the sky ever being this bright. It was as if the galaxy was smaller, more intimate, and yet the world was somehow much larger by comparison.
It was impossible to say where I was. The evening air was cool, but not cold. Ahead of me, a vast expanse of grasslands splayed out to the horizon, dotted by the occasional tree or heard of slow moving pack animals. At my back, the cavern entrance was an insignificant and tiny black mark at the foot of what appeared to be a majestic mountain, at least, what I could see of the landmass, as close as I was. Looking to my left and right, I noted many peaks reaching upward to shadow the sky.
The stark contrast of the formidable mountains and the open rolling plains was fascinating, but unremarkable in that it could have been anywhere. North America, Asia, and Africa all had similar geographical layouts due to ancient glacial activity. Though as I looked up again at the unfamiliar night sky, I had the distinct feeling that I was temporally closer to the ice age than modern times.
A sound, much like a guttural grunt, punctuated the night’s silence and I recognized the sound as my own voice. I knew the meaning, but not the words I spoke. Only that it was a spell in an ancient language, one without a written text that history quickly forgot, proving that I was indeed experiencing a moment in my very ancient history. As I spoke, I moved my hand over a darkened ring of small stones at the base of the cave, sending a shower of sparks into the dry kindling contained within. In seconds, I sat before a full-fledged magical fire.
So I’d been a witch. A fire witch was my first guess, but no sooner was the fire lit that I called out yet another spell. This one to loosen the soil enough that I could dig down to the clay layer. I then fashioned what appeared to be a crude bowl, calling upon the water held high in the mountains to help smooth the sides and interior. When the bowl was smoothed to my satisfaction, I picked up a sharpened stick and began meticulously marking the outer rim with symbols. Magical symbols that I recognized as being the same as those that ringed Myrna’s divining glass.
I realized, as I placed the shallow bowl upon the white hot coals of the fire, that a divining instrument was exactly what I was creating. Yes, I was a witch, but not just any witch. I was a full elemental solitary. Amazing, as such beings are so rare that they do not appear in every cycle.
I also realized that the body I inhabited was more than simply me in a past cycle. There was a wholeness, a feeling of complete being and I knew this was our soul, Desmond’s and mine. This was our beginning. And as I called upon air to help cool the newly fired bowl, and filled it with crystal clear water from the mountain, I knew that this was also our end.
The images I saw reflected in the water’s surface were not unfamiliar, but to the vessel I inhabited, they were not only new, but alarming. I saw a crevice open, far below the mountain, near the heated core of the Earth. The orange glow of semi-fluid rock cast a sinister atmosphere on an already terrifying scene. Thousands of creatures, some humanoid and others not, stormed through the crevice, seemingly unscathed by the molten heat, flying up and away to wreak havoc and spread their Discord upon the inhabitants of the surface.
Abruptly, the scene changed and I was
once again beside the mouth of the cave, the remnants of the fire dying as the sun crested the far horizon. The divining bowl lay beside me, cracked in two as I’d flung it away in disbelief of the images I’d seen. I had a responsibility to share what I discovered. For I was not alone in this ancient world. Others dwelled in the shallow caves at the base of the mountain range. I had to warn the tribes, for it was deep beneath these mountains that we’d relied on for protection that the horrors of Chaos would come.
But as the scene shifted, I knew my warnings would fall on deaf ears. The leaders of the tribes dismissed me as crazy, a dreamer, a mad woman and nothing more. Not a single person came to my defense, for none of them were mystical. I was run off and told never to return. Yet, despite the ridicule, I could not abandon the burgeoning civilizations to their fate.
With or without them, I would face the impending hordes of Chaos. I would stand alone to stop the Discordant from rising up and conquering a world in its infancy.
Into the cavern I went, taking but a small ration of dried meat and relying on my ability to manipulate the water within the mountain itself to keep me hydrated. At last, all but depleted by the dry, hot and poisonous gasses that overtook the breathable air, I found the fracture that would soon be a chasm to the other realm. Already, I could feel the pull of Discord. In my weakened state, the false promises that wormed their way into my head proved a difficult temptation to resist. After all, I was trying to save several tribes of ingrates who would cast me out rather than accept that a danger threatened their very existence.
But no, even with the knowledge that I was unlikely to survive the encounter and that my sacrifice would go unnoticed and unacknowledged by those for whom I’d made it, I resisted the allure of Chaos. With the last of my strength, I called upon the earth, wind, fire, and water to seal away the portal to the other dimension. In doing so I had saved the mountain and plains tribes, ensuring future generations would thrive and spread across the land, growing not only in population, but in intelligence and advancements.
Rise of the Discordant: The Complete Five Book Series Page 80
