‘This is my dagger,’ Duff said, stepping up beside her. She always knew where he was. Mairi half turned and looked into his face. ‘It is still within its sheath and I’ve kept the light low to reduce any glare on the blade.’
He’d thought of everything. Damn him!
Her gaze dropped to the leather sheath, resting on his open hand before her like an offering. She stared at the calluses on his palm, the strong capable fingers and the wrist she’d barely circled with her own hand when he’d lowered her to the ground. Steady. Powerful.
She drew a breath and, in her mind, told herself she could do this. She reached for the leather sheath. Her fingertips scraped his palm and she witnessed his fingers flex at her touch before they curled into a fist.
Her gripped tightened on the weapon and she reminded herself she was here to learn how to use a dagger, nothing more.
Mairi gripped the plain, black hilt of the dagger in one hand and slowly withdrew it from the sheath. A hint of muted silver showed, almost black in the shadows. Her heart raced, but she wasn’t certain of the cause. Holding and revealing the bladed weapon, or having her protector standing so close, within easy reach, before her. Perhaps both.
She drew a necessary breath and uncovered more. Her protector shifted slightly to one side. Candlelight glinted on steel. Sickening memories ripped her from the safety of the room to the valley of blood eleven years past. She closed her eyes to shut out the blade, but a sword slicing through the air, a moment before it found her mother, took its place.
‘My lady.’ Warm hands gripped hers and drove the dagger back inside its sheath. Then it was gone. ‘Lady Mairi.’ Her eyes flew open and her gaze settled on her protector’s face. ‘You are safe. Nae one will harm you.’
Mairi blinked. Dear God. What must her personal guard think of her? She hadn’t even managed to draw the whole dagger free.
Anger and frustration for appearing weak and helpless swamped her. ‘I know I’m safe.’ She pulled her cold hands from his warm grasp and turned away. She couldn’t bear to see pity or disdain on his face. She shouldn’t have come. She didn’t need to prove anything to—
A powerful arm snaked about her middle and pulled her back against his body. She gasped only a moment before a large hand took hold of the underside of her jaw and tilted her head back. ‘What—’
‘Forget the dagger. You do not need a weapon to defend yourself,’ Duff said, his warm breath brushing her cheek. Mairi stood rigid, eyes wide, her heartbeat pounding in her ear. Her fingers clutching the band of steel about her waist. ‘Find your balance on your feet and then let your upper body go limp.’
Mairi pressed forward onto her feet until her weight centred evenly and her legs were holding her weight. The small movement gave her a small sense of being in control. She drew a breath and then relaxed her upper body, as he’d instructed.
‘Feel how my hold on you and about you has loosened.’ Mairi nodded, noticing the change. ‘My left arm is around you, so for the coming blow to have the most powerful effect, you must stretch your right arm forward and, using every ounce of force you can find, drive your elbow back into my stomach.’
‘But I—’
‘Do not think about it. Surprise is your true weapon.’
Mairi frowned, stretched her right arm forward, clenched her teeth and drove her elbow back into her protector’s stomach. A grunt sounded in her ear at the same time as the hand beneath her chin released her. The arm about her middle loosened further.
‘Now lift one knee and drive the sole of your foot back into my leg as hard as you can.’
Mairi heard his strained words, but hesitated. She didn’t want to hurt him more than she—
‘Imagine your attacker is here to kill you. If you want to survive, never hesitate. Do it now.’
She was a survivor and wanted to live. She lifted her knee and kicked backward with all her might. Her heel found naught but air. The move and the power she’d put into it sent her twisting about and off balance. But before she could right herself, strong hands captured her waist and steadied her.
Mairi searched her protector’s face. ‘You moved.’
‘You sound disappointed.’
Her hands tightened about his forearms. ‘Your lesson took me by surprise.’
‘There will be nae warning before an attack.’ His fingers flexed at her waist. ‘I knew the blow was coming, but an attacker will not. The second move could possibly break a man’s leg.’ His look intensified. ‘I can’t protect you if I’m injured.’
‘You take your duty seriously.
‘As seriously as you take yours.’
Mairi stared into his dark eyes. He’d just shown her a way to defend herself without using a weapon, moreover, without using a blade. Her safety truly was important to him.
‘You did well, My Lady.’ His gaze lowered as he released her and stepped back. ‘If you’re ready, I will escort you down to your guests.’
Mairi’s hands fell into the empty space at her sides, the loss of his warm hold almost as chilling as his gentle reminder that her three suitors were waiting for her in the hall below.
***
Mairi’s father and her three suitors were already at the table as she crossed the hall. All eyes fixed on her as she approached. All four men stood as she neared her seat.
Angus pulled out the empty chair between his and her father’s. She smiled her thanks and sat. ‘Good evening.’
A chorus of, ‘Lady Mairi’s,’ followed as Angus found his seat.
‘I trust your day was well spent, Daughter?’
‘I had a most enjoyable day, Father.’ She turned and looked at the suitor on her right. ‘Angus is an excellent fisherman and an entertaining companion.’
Angus Hay’s sun-bronzed cheeks glowed red at her compliment.
‘Rumour has it that Angus can play the gentleman when a lady is involved,’ her father said.
Angus’ cheeks reddened further. ‘Only when the right lady is involved,’ Angus said with a grin, causing Mairi to blush and the men present to laugh.
When the laughter eased, he went on. ‘But in all seriousness, Alastair, Mairi is a beautiful, clever young lady who any father would be proud to call daughter and any husband would be blessed to call wife.’
Heat filled Mairi’s face. A round of comments in agreement with Angus’ touching words sent Mairi’s gaze to the opposite end of the table, only to collide with Duff’s unblinking, dark eyes.
Was there nowhere safe for her to look until she brought her uncharacteristic blush under control? Compliments of such a personal nature were new to her and she wasn’t surprised to discover she preferred compliments to be given due to her abilities relating to her duties as Gordon’s heir. But what thoughts had turned her personal guard’s eyes from warmest brown to almost black?
Servants bustled out of the kitchen carrying platters laden with steaming fish, greens and pheasant pie, altering her line of thought. She focussed on her food and listened while Angus filled the others in about their day spent fishing. The fish, cooked in butter sprinkled with an assortment of herbs, truly was delicious.
By the end of the meal Mairi’s liking of Angus Hay had grown and the conversation between the men turned to the next day.
‘What are your plans for yourself and my daughter tomorrow, Ranald Barclay?’
‘Well, nothing as exciting as pulling slippery, slimy creatures from the water,’ Ranald said smiling at Angus. ‘Though my share went down a treat.’ He patted his stomach.
‘And nice of you to admit it, Ranald,’ Angus said with a grin.
‘But with yours and Lady Mairi’s permission, Alastair, I’d like to take a leisurely ride about Gordon lands.’
‘I’m not surprised by your choice, knowing of your fondness for horses. What say you, Mairi?’
Mairi could already imagine the sense of freedom a ride would evoke. ‘A ride sounds most welcome, Father.’ It would also create a feeling of separation between herse
lf and dark-eyed Duff.
‘Then after breaking your fast, a ride it will be.’ Her father looked at Duff as he spoke, and Mairi glanced at her personal guard just in time to witness the slight nod he gave her father. ‘Might I suggest an early night for you, Mairi?’
‘An early night sounds most welcome, Father,’ Mairi said, hiding both her surprise and her relief.
‘Good, then I will escort you to your room and continue on to mine.’
Mairi watched her father rise from his seat and offer her his hand. She stared at his outstretched fingers for a moment before she placed hers within his palm and stood. The actions triggered long-ago memories of when she was a young lass and the ‘apple of her father’s eye’.
But things had changed since and she suspected he wanted to speak to her privately about her day. All part of her duty. And with her father’s escort, there’d be no need for Duff to accompany them. A small relief for both her physical and emotional state. After he’d steadied her down by the well, questioned her about her fears, and then his recent self-defence lesson, she desperately needed any respite from his nearness she could get.
‘Goodnight all,’ she said to the table at large, feeling an instant easing in the tension that had been claiming her stiff muscles since she’d left her room tonight.
Just as she turned away, her father said, ‘A word, Duff.’
The scrape of wood on wood meant Duff heeded her father’s request immediately, as she expected. The stiffness, so quickly gone from her limbs, returned twofold, but with her father so close she needed to mask her reaction.
Her father slipped her arm beneath his, and with constant effort she forced her fingers to relax as he steered her through the hall. The castle folk had finished eating too, and now sat at their tables discussing the day’s events with their neighbours. Each of them offered a nod as they passed. Mairi looked into their faces and saw the respect shining in their eyes for her father. A proud thought and also a helpful distraction from the man who followed close behind.
But the distraction only lasted as long as it took them to reach the stairwell. She willed her concentration to settle entirely on her sire. They ascended to the second floor landing where her three suitors each held separate chambers for the duration of their stay. By the time they’d climbed halfway up the steps to the third floor, the level both she and her personal guard shared, Mairi noticed a rasping note coming from her father every time he drew a new breath.
They reached the landing, and as they walked toward her door her father said, ‘Did you truly enjoy your day with Angus?’
An awful burning ignited within Mairi’s chest as the few words her father spoke, combined with the climb, had left his breathing strained and uneven for a few moments. Her gaze darted to where Duff stood at the top of the stairs. He watched her, waiting.
She glanced back at her sire and studied his face using the flickering torch lights from the sconces high on the walls. Colour marked his cheeks. He didn’t look ill. How she wished it were daylight so she could see him more clearly. The rasping sound had disappeared from his breath and made her wonder if she’d heard it at all.
‘Mairi?’ He patted the top of her hand.
‘Aye … Oh, aye, I did enjoy my day with Angus.’
‘Good.’ Her father’s smile reassured her regarding his wellbeing. ‘And you felt safe in his company?’
She frowned. ‘Are there reasons I shouldn’t feel safe?’
Her father’s smile lengthened. ‘Nae. I would never have chosen any man to court you if I didn’t believe you’d be safe in their company.’
Mairi raised a brow and glanced in her personal guard’s direction, her questioning look enough without words.
‘Duff’s presence is to assure each suitor that none of their rivals overstep their bounds, even though I don’t expect them to.’
‘I still don’t believe having Duff play chaperone is necessary,’ she whispered. Stone walls had a tendency to carry sound and voices further than usual.
‘But I do,’ her father said. ‘Is there something particular about Duff that troubles you, Mairi?’
What would her father think if she told him that the man he had chosen as her personal guard unsettled her in certain ways much more than her suitors did?
‘Do you feel safe with Duff guarding you?’
The concern in her father’s voice drew her from her thoughts. A frown had replaced his smile and whatever expression she’d shown without thought was the cause. She looked up at him. ‘Aye, I do,’ she reassured.
She did feel safe with Duff protecting her, but she also felt things she shouldn’t. Overly warm just at the sight of him or when he was near. Sprites danced in excitement low in her belly at the sound of his deep voice. She wanted to know his thoughts and opinions on things that were not his concern.
‘Are you sure, Mairi?’
‘Of course.’
‘And you would tell me if there was anything troubling you?’
It was as if her father wanted her to have a problem and to speak of it, so she said, ‘I miss Balfour.’ And she did. ‘He has been my personal guard for many years.’ Balfour knew her better than anyone else. ‘Duff is new and different by comparison. That is all.’ So very different in so many ways. ‘But I do feel protected.’
‘I am pleased you feel safe in Duff’s care.’ Her father took her hands again. ‘Balfour is a good man and will resume his duties as soon as he is able.’ He gently squeezed her fingers. ‘Now ‘tis time you found your bed. You have a full day of riding tomorrow and will need your rest.’ He drew her closer and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. ‘Sleep well, Daughter.’ He released her and stepped back, but Mairi stood frozen for two sluggish heartbeats. Until this moment she hadn’t realised how much she’d missed her father holding her hands, or his goodnight kiss, for the last eleven years.
She finally turned away and said, ‘And you, Father,’ before entering her room.
***
Duff watched the exchange between Alastair Gordon and his daughter and couldn’t help but notice a hint of strain about them. It was the closest he’d seen them together since he’d arrived, but it still seemed as if some invisible force or memory held them apart.
Mairi disappeared inside her room without a backward glance. Alastair Gordon stared at the closed door for several silent moments before walking toward Duff, his expression one of distraction.
‘Something concerns you, Laird Gordon?’
The older man looked straight at Duff but a few breaths passed before he actually saw him.
‘Aye … Nae, Duff. All is well.’ He smiled a false smile. ‘Walk with me. Tell me your thoughts on Mairi’s day with Angus.’
They turned for the stairs that led to the laird’s chamber above. How was he to tell Alastair that he liked Angus Hay but not as Mairi’s husband?
‘Angus Hay seems an honourable man.’
Booted feet scuffed each step and echoed in the dimly lit quiet as Alastair nodded his agreement.
‘He was attentive, well-mannered and appears to be taken with your daughter.’ An unseeable stone fist slammed into Duff’s gut.
Alastair nodded again and Duff inhaled slowly.
‘I believe Lady Mairi enjoyed Angus Hay’s company, as well as learning a new skill.’
They reached the next landing and paused at the top.
‘Mairi had nothing bad,’ Alastair began and stopped to catch his breath before continuing, ‘to say about the man when I asked her.’ Alastair nodded thoughtfully. ‘And she has always been curious about learning new skills.’
A bout of coughing shook the laird’s shoulders. Duff peered down the stairwell, giving the older man time to recover.
‘My thanks for your opinion, Duff.’ He looked back at the Gordon laird. ‘And for watching over my daughter.’ Duff acknowledged the older man’s gratitude with a single nod. ‘Goodnight,’ Alastair said and slowly walked toward his chamber.
Duff watched Alas
tair enter his room before turning and descending the stairs. The laird was not a well man. Duff now knew the reason why Mairi had only been given a sennight to choose her husband, but did she?
How would she take the news that her father was ill? And who would look after her once he was gone?
Duff stopped on the landing outside his room and stared at Mairi’s closed door. He was her protector for one week, and whoever was lucky enough to watch over her after that time was none of his business.
Chapter Thirteen
Early morning the following day, Mairi took her father’s arm and descended into the bailey. Three horses stood in front of the stables, all saddled and waiting.
Ranald Barclay walked on her father’s other side, his excitement at the prospect of the coming ride evident in his tone. Mairi was delighted at the thought of going for a ride, but not for the same reasons.
She liked her horse and appreciated all it did, but unlike Ranald, her mount wasn’t the cause of her growing joy. Her joy stemmed from the sense of freedom she experienced while riding.
The last few days had been filled with constraints on her time, her actions, even her thoughts. Being watched and judged while getting to know her suitors was wearing, especially by the end of each day.
Throw in a distracting personal guard who’d stated he wasn’t only protecting her from physical danger, but from her fears as well, made her feel both safe and fearful at the same time.
If the sentiment had come from one of the three men courting her, then that particular suitor would have climbed a notch higher on her searching for a husband scale. But coming from her temporary protector made her belly flutter, and somehow left her suitors lacking.
They stopped before the three mounts, two of which had a sack containing a rug and refreshments tied to the saddles.
‘Your horse is smaller in height than any of the others, Duff,’ Ranald said.
‘Duncan is from the Borders, as am I, Ranald Barclay.’
‘That would explain the differences then,’ he said moving closer to Duff’s mount. ‘Is he from the Galloway region?’
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