“You still ask too many questions, boy! Always causing me trouble, you were.” She scowled at him, eye ridges meeting in an annoyed frown. “Haven’t changed, have you?”
“Neither have you. You never gave me any answers, that’s why I keep asking,” he replied. “I won’t be put off this time, Noni.”
Her gaze looked straight through him. “Why should I tell you anything?” she asked crossly. “I owe you nothing, boy.”
He looked away from the screen for a moment, wondering what she wanted him to say— what he could say that would make her talk. “Carrie’s pregnant by me,” he said at last, looking back at her. “You were right. We’re sharing a cub— a daughter.”
Noni raised a quizzical eye ridge at him. “Oh?” she said, her tone suddenly neutral.
“I know you’ve been told Carrie and I Leska Linked while on the Prime ship,” he said, letting her hold his gaze this time. “The Primes healed her, but they removed her implant.”
“I want to hear those three words again,” she demanded.
“You were right,” he sighed. “I was wrong, Noni. There will be a cub.”
“Cubs,” she corrected him, but her voice was gentler. “There will be cubs, I said. I remember it well. You called me an old fool, you did.”
“Cub. One,” he said firmly.
“There was T’Chebbi’s,” she reminded him.
“All right!” he snarled, irritation getting the better of him as his ears flicked angrily. “How much groveling do you want me to do, dammit? I had the right to invoke kin on you, and you know it!”
“That remains to be seen, when I’ve met this Rezac and his Leska.”
“You still haven’t answered me! Why did you always look out for me?” he demanded. “You must have felt something, suspected there was a blood tie between us!”
“Why should I tell you? Seems to me you’re still more trouble than you’re worth!”
He bit back another angry retort, knowing it was what she wanted— to divert him. Then he remembered what had worked well in the past. Lowering his ears to half height, he tilted his head to one side and looked up at her, widening his eyes slightly. “Because I’m asking nicely?” he said, softening his tone.
Noni began to laugh, a deep, belly rumble that lit her face all the way to her eyes. Eventually she subsided into chuckles and wiped her streaming eyes on her sleeve. “You always knew how to reach me, you did. You got your own measure of Glamour when you put your mind to it, Tallinu. Vartra warned me, you know. Said I’d get more than I bargained for when I got you back. He was right. You trying to charm me, your cub on the way, and your father!”
“You went to Vartra about me?” He righted his ears, the revelation astonishing him.
“You were missing,” she snapped acerbically. “What was I supposed to do when I knew the Valtegans had you? Wring my hands and weep?”
“You bargained for my return?”
“He gave me no choice. I was owed a favor. He gave me you.”
“The price?” he asked quietly, dreading her answer. “What did it cost you, Noni?”
“Just told you! I lost my favor! A favor from an Entity isn’t to be chosen lightly, and I had to go waste it on you,” she grumbled, scratching herself vigorously behind one ear.
He knew he’d won now and pushed the point home. “Why do that for me unless you suspected we were kin?”
Her face softened and she reached out to touch the comm screen with her hand. “Vartra said it, Tallinu. You were the cub I never had. Yes, I suspected something when they brought you to me the day they found you. It frightened me, that’s why I didn’t dare keep you. Vartra knows, it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I’ve been paying for it every day since you came to me saying you’d killed Nuddoh M’Zushi.”
As she closed her eyes, Kaid could see how much the confession was costing her. For a brief moment, he felt her mind touch his. Instinctively, his hand went out to his own screen.
“I chose to live alone because my work as a Guardian meant everything to me— more than a mate or cubs. I wanted no distractions. Then you came along, so small and hurt— too terrified to even speak for that first month. You smelled and felt like kin, and you Challenged the life I’d chosen. I had to give you up.”
“But you didn’t.” He let his hand drop back down to the desk. “You watched over me, gave me hope, an escape from Nuddoh.”
“Not well enough, or I’d have known what Nuddoh was doing to you! I should have seen what was happening!” She took her hand away from the screen, ears laid back and a look of distress on her face.
“We’re only mortal, Noni,” he said quietly. “I couldn’t stop the Valtegan priest raping Carrie, nor did I believe her when she said Kusac was still alive. You couldn’t have known what Nuddoh was doing till it was too late. We both need to accept what we cannot change, what we had no control over, and let the guilt go.”
She nodded slowly. “It isn’t easy, though. What’s this father of yours like?” she asked, her voice becoming crisper. “Too like you for comfort, I’ll be bound. Arrogant, self-opinionated, takes a personal responsibility for everyone! Am I right?”
“Well, I know where you got it from,” he grinned.
“Cheek of you! Just remember one thing, Tallinu. No matter what time you come from, you’re still young enough to have faint cradle marks on your arse! I’m still Noni to you!” Her eyes twinkled at him. “More so since you’re going to make a grandmother of me again.”
He raised his eye ridges in mock defeat. “Yes, Noni,” he said. “Rezac’s formed a Triad with Jo, a Keissian friend of Carrie’s. They’re expecting a cub shortly. His Leska, Zashou, wasn’t my mother, though. It was a female called T’Chya, someone from Ranz that he knew before the Claws claimed him.”
“The same Pack you ran with. History repeats itself. You claiming to be brothers, I suppose.”
“The blood-tie is there, Noni, neither of us can ignore it. As brothers, we can cope. But it’s really about Kusac that I contacted you.”
“I got the medical reports. They don’t look good, Tallinu. I doubt there’s much I can do,” she sighed. “I wish there was.”
“You’ll come, though? Rezac wants to meet you and I know Carrie would like to see you again.”
“Nice to be so popular. I’ll come, but not till next week. Maybe at least I can give him something better than the drugs that Vanna of yours is giving him.”
“She’s just cut them down. He was so sedated, there was no life left in him.”
“And your Telepath Guild medics can do nothing for him, I’ll be bound. Well, maybe I can, we’ll see. In a week then, Tallinu.”
Kaid touched his fingers to the screen in thanks. “Thank you, Noni,” he said, aware that now her nickname of Grandmother meant more to him.
Zhal-Ghyakulla, 19th day (June)
He opened the den door, stalked past Kaid at the work console, down the stairs into the lower leisure area and over to the large entertainment comm. Ignoring Carrie, he switched it on, then turned to look at them.
“Why didn’t someone tell me the Valtegans had landed on Shola?” he demanded.
Kaid stopped working and turned to look at him. “I didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“I’ve been watching reports of their arrival yesterday. The newsvids all paint them as white as our honored dead! Sorli’s really got his Guild working overtime with subliminals!” His rumble of anger was getting deeper.
“Yes, the government is using subliminals, within the allowed parameters,” said Kaid placidly as the large screen came to life showing the Governor’s Palace at Shanagi. “All the new ambassadors arrived yesterday. And they aren’t Valtegans, they’re Primes, not the ones who…”
“There’s no difference,” he snarled, hand going to his neck to massage it as he began to pace in front of the screen. “Has everyone but me forgotten what they did to us?”
“Of course not,” said Carrie, getting to her feet
and going over to him. “How could I? But it was only one Prime who separated us. Remember the doctor who helped you?”
“You can’t have seen the vids,” he said, stopping to point at the newscast. “Look at that! A state reception for them, with a full Warrior honor guard! I refuse to believe that Chy’qui and J’koshuk could torture us without their Commander being aware of what was going on!”
“Relax, Kusac,” said Kaid, getting up and coming down to join them. “They have no military, their command structure is very different from ours. I scanned the Commander during the treaty talks. He had no idea of what was happening, believe me. Besides, all this happened yesterday.”
He stared at Kaid for a moment then looked away. Kaid, who’d not known he was a telepath until a short time ago, was now doing what he should be doing. He rubbed his neck harder, kneading it in an effort to stop the tingling sensation. He knew he was letting his anger get out of control but could do little about it.
“They’re manipulating the public to make them accept the Primes as allies,” he said slowly. “They didn’t do that when Carrie arrived on Shola. We had to defend ourselves against prejudiced dissidents.”
“We had Kaid and the Brotherhood to protect us,” reminded Carrie.
“The estate was fortified— it still is,” said Kaid. “Both Chy’qui and J’koshuk are dead, Kusac. We have to accept the Primes as allies now. We need their help against the real Valtegan enemy.”
He turned away from them to stare at the screen, forcing himself to breathe more slowly, to recite the Litany for Relaxation. He was damned if on top of this insult, the sight of those Valtegans was going to get him in such a rage that it triggered the neural pain. It was humiliating to suddenly find himself lying on the floor unable to stop whimpering.
On the screen, the autovids had homed in on the Sholans standing waiting to greet the Prime Ambassador and his party as they walked toward the Palace entrance. Standing among the Sholan High Command and representatives of the World Council, were Master Rhyaz and his father.
“I don’t believe it!” he began, the hair on his neck starting to rise as the tingling became a definite pain. “It’s my father and…”
He got no further as Kaid grasped him firmly by the shoulder and pressed a hypodermic to his neck. The sting barely had time to register before the drugs hit him and he began to sway.
“Easy there,” said Kaid as he and Carrie supported him over to the nearest seat. “As Head of Alien Relations and one of the signatories to the treaty, your father had no option but to be there, Kusac. If it’s any comfort, Father Lijou refused to go and Rhyaz was only there because he’d other business to attend to.”
Carrie knelt in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “I’m sorry we had to drug you, Kusac. It’s fast acting but won’t last long. It’s better than suffering all that pain.”
“Your father,” he said, forcing the words out. He could barely keep his eyes open. “That’s why he’s here.”
She nodded, glancing up at Kaid. “The trade treaties were signed yesterday by all the Alliance and Associate members. Like Rhyaz, he didn’t stay for the banquet. He said he wasn’t associating with the Primes any more than he had to because of what happened to us. He stayed with Rhyaz in his apartment at the Palace last night. We didn’t tell you about the Primes because we didn’t want this to happen.”
“Worse not knowing,” he said, blinking to keep his eyes open.
“I promise we’ll tell you next time,” she said, letting him go and moving aside.
“Lie down, Kusac. You’ll sleep for about an hour, then you’ll be fine,” Kaid said.
*
The comm on the upper level buzzed and while Kaid went to answer it, Carrie spread a rug over Kusac then settled down on a floor cushion, watching him. Reaching out, she took hold of his hand, feeling his fingers curl around hers as he drifted off to sleep. It was the first time since they’d returned from Haven that he’d made any affectionate gesture toward her or allowed her this close. She leaned forward, resting her head against his side, content for now.
A few minutes later, Kaid rejoined her, a strange look on his face. “Remember I told you that Raiban’s been getting petty with the Brotherhood by refusing to issue Forces ammunition to our people when they’re working for her? That she’s making them buy their own? Well, we’ve just had a very strange request from Rhyaz. He’s asked if we’d allow Captain Kishasayzar and two of his crew to stay on the estate for several weeks while we train them in appropriate Brotherhood skills. Seems that our Sumaan friend went back home and told his superiors what happened at Haven. Now he’s free to take contracts where he wants, the Sumaan decided that it’s time they improved their fighting skills. In return, they’ve offered to gather information for us. Not just Kisha, but all his people. I’m sure the two are connected. I wonder what Rhyaz is up to.”
“You’re joking,” said Carrie, sitting up. “The Sumaan actually said they want to spy for the Brotherhood?”
Kaid nodded. “They’ll only pass on what they consider we should know, but they get to places we can’t, like the Chemerian worlds. Who’d suspect the Sumaan of being agents for us? I’d say they were harboring a pretty deep resentment of their tree-climbing employers, wouldn’t you?”
“But alien Brothers?”
“We have gene-altered Humans,” he reminded her gently.
“I don’t consider myself Human now,” she said after a moment’s thought. “What did you tell Rhyaz?”
“That the decision is yours and Kusac’s, not mine. Dzaou’s unit settled in fine, apart from Dzaou himself, but I don’t know if Kusac wants your home estate to become a training camp for alien Brothers.”
“You’ve got a say in it too,” she reminded him. “It’s also your home.”
“I know you both gave me that right, but I think I should take a back seat for the foreseeable future. I don’t want Kusac to feel Challenged by me in every area of his life with you.”
“What life with me?” she asked, getting to her feet. “We have none. He sleeps in the nursery, and when it’s our Link day, you know he takes Kashini up to his parents’ home. I don’t know where I am with him, Tallinu. It’s as if all the love was burned out of him by J’koshuk and Chy’qui.”
“I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he said, touching her arm briefly.
“Oh, it’s that bad. You’re not helping me any, either,” she said pointedly, looking at him. “When we arrived home, you asked me not to back away from you. Now it’s you who seems afraid of any real closeness. I feel as if I’ve lost you both.”
“I’ve only been thinking of Kusac,” he said awkwardly, not meeting her gaze. “Everyone comes to me now they realize Kusac won’t get involved with estate life. Even Garras asks me about major decisions he handled himself while we were away. I feel like I’m stepping into Kusac’s tracks, taking over his life, and I don’t like it.” He looked up at her. “I don’t want Kusac’s life, Carrie. I want my own.”
His thoughts surrounded her as he removed the privacy barrier between them. I love you, Carrie, I always have, but I never wanted us to be Leskas. It’s too much for me. His hands cupped her face as he rested his brow on hers.
I know, but it happened and we have to cope as best we can, she replied, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close, locking deep within her the hurt for him, for Kusac, and for herself. She felt imprisoned within the dark vault that was her own mind, as if she was running around hammering on the walls, desperate to escape, only there was no way out.
Since we’re being so honest with each other, do you believe there’s any hope that Kusac will be cured? she asked.
His hands moved to rest on her shoulders. There’s always hope. Noni will be here in five days, and we’ve yet to hear from Kzizysus, the TeLaxaudin. It shouldn’t be long before their Ambassador arrives and when he does, we’ll have an official channel through which to reach them. Go and get yourself ready to meet your father, D
zinae. I’ll stay with Kusac.
What about you? You need time to change, too.
I’ll be there, but with Dzaka and Kitra. Better your father doesn’t learn too much about our Triad. If he found it difficult to accept one Sholan husband, the thought of you having two will not comfort him.
*
They sat waiting in the family garden at the rear of the main house. Kashini, brushed till her pelt shone like new cut corn, toddled around the edges of the flower beds, examining each blossom with her nose, then fingers and mouth. Rhyasha was telling her stories of Kusac at just the same age but she couldn’t really concentrate on them because Konis was in the lounge talking privately to Kusac.
“Carrie, stop fretting,” admonished her bond-mother in a low voice as she leaned toward her. “All will be fine. Your father has had plenty of time to get used to our people on his own world, never mind the day he spent at the Palace.”
“I’m not worried about him, it’s Kusac,” she said. “He’s been so different since the Primes had him. I want my father to see Kusac’s true self, not what he’s become.”
Rhyasha took Carrie’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently. “I know something of what’s been happening lately,” she said. “That’s why Konis is having a word with him now.”
Carrie looked up sharply. “What do you mean?”
“I know my son well, cub. I can tell, even without being able to sense his mind, when things are wrong between the two of you. And I know you. I can only imagine what it’s been like with both of them carrying around their guilt for what happened.” She reached up to caress her cheek. “And you with a cub on the way.” Abruptly, she changed the subject. “I invited T’Chebbi. As Kaid’s Companion, she should be here. Involve her more in your life, cub. Don’t always be worrying you’ll put Kusac’s nose out. He has to learn to cope with the changing relationships between the four of you. Don’t let your friendship with her, or her relationship with Kaid, suffer because of worrying that my son will feel you’re filling his home with people. It’s your home, too, and they were living with you before you went to Jalna.”
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