She waited till they’d gone, then, as Kaid opened his mouth to speak, she held up her hand. “No, you listen to me first,” she said firmly, wanting to say her piece before she lost the nerve to do it.
“I’m always listening to you, Noni,” he murmured.
“Then listen now,” she admonished. “You were right to call kin on me, Tallinu. I should have known you better, known you wouldn’t do it without proof. I had my own plans for you, and you being my kin didn’t fit in with them. In the end, they meant nothing, only kin matters. You were right, Tallinu. I was wrong.”
He raised an eye ridge in surprise. “An apology, Noni?”
“Don’t rub it in! I thought I’d outlived all my family. Lost my parents in that landslide back in eighty-seven, my brother a year later on a mission for Stronghold. Been alone a long time, Tallinu. Now I find I have living kin.” Taking a deep breath, she looked away, shaking her head and resting both hands on the handle of her stick. “Hasn’t been easy for me, readjusting my thinking to take that in, especially since you both come from another, older time.”
“You said it yourself, Noni. You’re still older than us. Still Noni.”
“It’s not that, lad,” she said, looking up at him again. “I’ve looked at myself, what I’ve lost over the years by having no family, by ignoring the pull I felt to you.”
“I thought we agreed to forget our guilt,” he began.
“I thought you agreed to listen!” she said with a touch of the old acerbity.
Kaid grinned, a sideways, Human grin. “Same old Noni.”
Quick as a flash, her hand reached out and grasped him by the hair that grew at the side of his neck, yanking him close. He winced but said nothing, even though she knew it must have hurt.
“I swear Vartra Himself sent you forward to annoy me! Why are you making this so difficult? I’m trying to say I want my family! I want you, Tallinu, to be for me the son I never had.”
She almost jumped when his hand curled gently around her neck.
“You can let me go, Noni,” he said quietly. “I’d be honored to have you replace the mother I lost.” Then his cheek was touching hers. “Doubtless we’ll both find it difficult to adjust, but I want a family of my own, too.”
She sighed, resting against him for a moment as his other arm held her close, enjoying the feel of his strength. It had been a long time since they’d exchanged hugs. The last time had been before he ran from the Protectors to Ranz. For the first time, she let him sense the love she’d always felt for him, pleased beyond measure when she felt it returned.
“That’ll do,” she said gruffly, blinking rapidly and pushing him away. “No need to get maudlin over it. Now, where’s that sword-brother of yours?”
Kaid sighed. “In the garden with Carrie and the others. He says he’s happy to see you but he’s had enough of being examined.”
“Oh he does, does he?” said Noni grimly, walking toward the entrance to the villa. “We’ll see about that.”
“Remember he’s still on psi suppressants. Wait, Noni,” he said, holding her back. “Vartra called me. He told me about your role as their Guardian and said the Pledge had been broken.”
Noni stared at him. “Go on,” she said.
“He says the realms have been closed because of the darkness threatening Shola. The Entities are retreating so They can survive if Shola falls, but They’re putting Shola at risk by doing this. He’s willing to remain and help us if we can find a way to keep Him here. He didn’t say how…”
“Lijou and I know how,” she said. “But to retreat from our world! That could be a bigger threat to us than the Valtegans. The news we wanted to hear is that Vartra is willing to stay!”
“How can we make Him stay?”
“By finding His grave, Tallinu,” she said, taking him by the arm. “They buried Him secretly when He died. Why d’you think we curse by saying ‘Vartra’s bones’? We’ll talk to Lijou tomorrow at Stronghold.”
*
Just outside the main lounge, under an awning, a table ringed with comfortable chairs had been set up for them. Carrie and Kusac stood up to greet her, but Noni wasn’t fooled by their appearance of closeness; she noticed the distance between them. Nearby, Kashini played under the watchful eye of her nurse.
“Well come, Noni,” said Carrie, coming forward to hug her.
Slightly taken aback by the display of affection, but pleased nonetheless, Noni patted her back with her free hand.
“So we’re all family,” she said, heading for the nearest chair when Carrie let her go. “Don’t you go thinking you can take advantage of old Noni now, you hear me?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” murmured Kusac, instinctively holding out his hand to her in a telepath’s greeting.
Noni was quick to reach out and return the gesture. She knew instantly that Tallinu was right, she’d get nothing in the way of information from Kusac’s mind unaided, unless she was prepared to cause him pain.
“Good day to you, Clan Leader,” she said, smiling so he’d know there was no sting in her words.
Kusac gave her a look that spoke volumes, then retreated to his seat on the far side of the table.
“Zhala’s bringing out some coffee and pastries,” said Carrie, taking a seat beside Noni. “How was your trip?”
“Shorter than usual, thanks to Teusi borrowing one of those fast aircars,” she said, leaning her stick against the side of her chair. “He’s gone inside to annoy Zhala, so don’t you be worrying about him.” She looked critically at Kusac. “I see your pelt’s grown back nicely over that scar. How you feeling these days?”
“I’m fine,” he said, a slightly bored look crossing his face. “Apart from meeting Rezac, Jo and Zashou, I’m afraid your trip’s going to be wasted, Noni.”
“I should let me be the judge of that, Kusac,” she said as Zhala, followed by Teusi, came out carrying trays of drinks and small cakes and pastries.
“Why should you find anything different from the others?” he asked. “You haven’t any equipment with you and you can’t read my mind because of the psi suppressants. And tomorrow we leave for Stronghold and Kitra’s wedding.”
“I know, I’ve got an invitation,” she said, slipping her hand into the copious pocket of her green and black robe. “I’m surprised at your attitude, boy. Here’s me coming all this way to see you. I never thought you a quitter.”
“I’m a realist,” he said, reaching out to take hold of the jug of c’shar and pull two mugs toward him. “You should have left it till tomorrow when we get to Stronghold.”
“I’m not interfering in your time, Kusac. You got things to do, setting up the temple for the following day, and you’re one of Kitra’s witnesses, aren’t you? You’ll need to be there for the practice. No, today suits me better. Where’ve Rezac and Jo gone?” she asked as Carrie poured out coffee for them.
“They’re in the kitchen with Zhala and Teusi,” said Carrie. “They’ll join us later.”
Noni nodded, keeping an eye on Kusac as he pushed a mug of c’shar over to Kaid. “Here, catch,” she said, suddenly throwing something at him.
Startled, his hand nevertheless went up to catch it. “A crystal,” he said, a puzzled frown on his face as he looked at it.
“Hold it up to the light,” she said, aware of Kaid’s and Carrie’s sudden concern. “It’s one of the new ones from the mines near Dzahai village. Thought you’d like to see it. Looks like there’s a creature trapped inside, don’t you think?”
Suspiciously, Kusac held it up, peering through it, turning it round one way then another. “I’m sorry, I can’t see anything like that,” he said, leaning forward to return it.
She took it from him, putting it in her pocket with a small, satisfied smile. By handling the crystal, Kusac had allowed her to take an imprint of his mind. She might not be able to scan him, but she could scan the crystal. It wouldn’t be as good because it merely held an echo of him, but it should be enough.
&n
bsp; *
Later that evening, Kaid came to her guest suite. Teusi let him in, taking him through to Noni’s bedroom where she was sitting up in bed, the crystal on her lap.
“What did you find?” he asked, picking up a chair and bringing it over to sit beside her as Teusi left.
“Not much,” she said. “He’s got his mind shut tight behind barriers the like of which he shouldn’t be able to use. He’s afraid of something, Tallinu. He knows what it is and he’s hiding it even from himself.”
“Is he refusing to face the loss of his Talent?”
“No, not that. Something more,” she said, picking the crystal up and placing it in a small, leather bag.
“You know he killed the Valtegan priest with his mind,” said Kaid. “Is it that?”
She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think it’s that either, though there is the conflict between guilt at using his Talent like that and his training that says it must never be done. He knows there will be no reprisals. He believes he’s got no usable Talent, so he’s not afraid of killing again.”
“As he woke from cryo, I had his mind scanned by a medical telepath,” said Kaid. “I was hoping he’d be caught unaware with those barriers down. He was. His father and I monitored both him and the medic to make sure nothing about the killing was discovered, but we sensed nothing out of the ordinary.”
Again she shook her head. “No, this is something more, something I feel may have happened to him on the Prime ship.”
“We’ve got to try and find out what it is.”
“No!” she said sharply, looking up from tying the bag. “You’ll leave him to come to terms with it himself, Tallinu. We can’t interfere, not without causing his mind more trauma than it’s already suffered. It could push him into another suicide attempt.”
“There must be something we can do, Noni.”
“Tallinu, there’s nothing I can do,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand. “Vanna’s drugs seem to be working, no need for me to interfere. As for the tendrils from that implant, and whatever it is that’s frightening him so, unless I can link to his mind, I can’t help. And for now at least, that’s impossible. He’s having problems with his emotions because of what the tendrils have done. Try if you can to help him with those.”
She hesitated. “There’s one chance I can think of, but it’s a long shot. I’ve been thinking of what happened to Mara and Josh when Zhyaf died, and has happened to Rezac and Zashou. Carrie will lose her Link to you around the fifteenth week, as Jo will to Rezac any time now. Watch what happens to Rezac and Zashou. Their link will probably reestablish itself, if not then, as soon as Jo’s had the cub. The same may happen for Kusac. His Link may reassert itself as soon as Carrie has your cub. If that should happen, then I can work to heal him.”
“How can it when he’s lost his Talent?”
“He may well have, but something is enabling him to put up those barriers, Tallinu. Maybe he’ll only have a minor link to her, like you had at first. It’s at least better than nothing, isn’t it? It lets us into his mind to try to remove or readjust those tendrils. He needs to be awake for that.” She took hold of his chin and tipped his face up to hers, studying him. “Are you that keen to lose your Link to Carrie? Be honest with yourself if not with me.”
“I don’t know,” he said, moving her hand away. “I don’t know, Noni.”
“For the God’s sake, don’t let her know that, Tallinu!” she said anxiously. “She’s going through enough without carrying the burden of that.”
“I already told her I didn’t want the Link,” he said. “I have to be honest with her, Noni. She knows what’s in my mind without me telling her.”
“You keep things back, don’t tell me you don’t, even with your Link! Remedy it by telling her it isn’t so any more.”
“I won’t lie to her, Noni. She knows I love her, even if I don’t want the Link.”
“And the cub?”
“We don’t talk about it,” he said, looking away.
“It! What d’you mean it!” she said, outraged.
“Her, then!” he said, looking back at her. “We don’t talk about our daughter.”
“Why not? Don’t you want her either?”
“Yes, when we conceived her, of course I did,” he said quietly, not rising to her bait. “But the responsibility, Noni— and I don’t know how to behave with Carrie! I can’t act like she’s my mate with Kusac around!”
“You’ve got to work it out, Tallinu, and soon. An unhappy pregnancy makes an unhappy cub, you know. At least treat her as your mate when Kusac isn’t there. And talk to her about the cub! Make plans with Carrie for the berran’s arrival, otherwise she’ll go on feeling like it’s a burden of guilt she’s carrying, not a child to be loved. You could even do worse than talk to Kusac about it, too.”
“I don’t want him to feel threatened by…”
“He’s not,” she reassured him. “Right now he’s trying to cling to what’s familiar, what’s Sholan. That’s part of why he feels distanced from Carrie and life here right now, and why he was clinging to his daughter at first. And don’t you forget T’Chebbi at this time. She’s getting broody now. It didn’t come easy to her to terminate that cub of yours.”
“What?” He looked startled.
“You heard. Watch her with Kashini sometime.”
He groaned and put his head down on the bed. “I’m not cut out for this domestic life, Noni. I’m a Warrior!”
She stroked his head gently. “There’s a time for everything, Tallinu. Where do the next generation of Warriors and Brothers come from if not from those like you? How many times in the ten years you spent outside the Brotherhood would you have given everything for a Companion like either of those two females? You have to be home with Carrie now. Why not let T’Chebbi have the cub she wants, too, get it over with at the same time? You never know, it might ease the situation.”
He lifted his head and looked up at her. “You’re joking, Noni. Both of them pregnant by me? I don’t think so. Kusac and T’Chebbi are occasional lovers, he used to go to her when Carrie and I were together.”
“He’s not going to either of them, or anyone else right now. Might give him the impetus to do so, or to find an amiable Companion from the estate. There’s plenty would be willing, I’ve no doubt,” she said robustly.
“I’ll think about it,” he sighed, getting up.
“You do,” she said, putting the crystal in its pouch on her nightstand. “Nothing upsets one’s home life like a broody female— or male, come to that! By the by, I got something for you. Over there on the dresser, in the small wooden box,” she said, pointing to the drawer unit opposite the end of her bed.
Curious, he got up and fetched it. Measuring around nine inches square, it wasn’t what he’d call small. He handed it to her as he sat down again.
“It’s for you,” she said, passing it back.
“It’s lovely,” he said, admiring the different inlaid woods that made up the mountain landscape on the lid. “But it isn’t my birthday, Noni.”
“Not the box, what’s in it, fool of a boy!” she said tartly. “Open it!”
He did. Inside on a bed of plush fabric lay a bronze torc, a dagger, and a buckle. Startled, he looked up at her. “I can’t take these.”
“You shouldn’t have called kin on me if you weren’t prepared to be my kin,” she said. “It’s yours, Tallinu. Were my brother’s, but he’s dead as I told you earlier. You’re the oldest Dzaedoh male now. They’re yours. Put the torc on. I’d like to see you wearing it.”
Placing the box on her bed, he lifted the torc out. The round terminals at either end were embossed with the sigil of the Dzaedoh Clan. “I never thought I’d wear a torc of my own,” he said, putting it slowly round his neck.
Noni regarded him critically. “It looks good on you, boy. Why shouldn’t you have your own torc? You belong to a family of your own now. You have your father, a son, a grandchild on the way as well as a
new daughter for you. And you’re also Clan Leader within the En’Shalla Clan. Come a long way from your days as a foundling, eh, Tallinu?”
“A long way,” he agreed quietly, closing the box.
*
Tucking his torc inside the neck of his tunic, Kaid went back down to the den. It was all too new for him to want to draw attention to it yet. What Noni had said about T’Chebbi concerned him; he’d never have thought her interested in having cubs of her own. It was yet one more worry to add to his suddenly burgeoning family life. When he opened the door, he found Kitra lying on the sofa curled up against Carrie while Dzaka was filling mugs from the hot plate.
“I almost wish we’d decided to have a civil ceremony,” the young female was sighing. “It’s utter chaos at home right now. Choa, the cook, is busy packing all the food she’s prepared, and Mother and Taizia are packing clothes for us. I’m not even getting to choose what I take with me!”
“Everything you’ll need will be there,” said Dzaka imperturbably as he came over to them with mugs of coffee.
“So you say. You won’t even tell me where we’re going for the next two weeks!”
He grinned at her as he put them down on the table. “A surprise from your father, I told you.”
“I’m sure you don’t mean it, Kitra. I’m just hoping that Choa hasn’t made any fish pastries,” teased Carrie, stroking the young female’s head gently.
Kitra groaned. “Gods, I hope not! I haven’t forgotten the time Mother was away on the Khalossa! We lived on fish for weeks!”
“I thought you were staying at the main house tonight,” said Kaid, joining his son at the hot plates.
“Master Konis could see Kitra had had enough and sent us to spend the night here,” said Dzaka quietly, pouring out a c’shar for his father. “Kitra’s pregnancy sickness has just started and it hits her pretty badly in the evenings.”
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