“I thought the sleep tape technology from the Primes combined with our own telepathic transfers was making life easier all around,” said Kaid.
“It is, but it’s no substitute for personal experience,” said Brynne with a wry smile. “As I know only too well.”
*
When Kaid got back to the villa, only T’Chebbi was still up.
“She’s fine,” his Companion reassured him. “Sashti’s massage made her sleepy so we put her to bed and left her.”
“I’m thinking of taking her to my house in the mountains until our cub’s born,” he said, sitting on the sofa beside her. “Get her away from the memories of here. Would you like to come with us?”
“Is good idea,” she said, pleased that he wanted her there too. “Can help with Kashini and birthing if necessary. Besides, never been to your home.”
He glanced away briefly, embarrassed. “Carrie’s only been there once. With us based here, there’s never been the need for me to go home.”
She patted him gently on the knee. “Is all right, Kaid. No reason why you should take me or anyone there. Was your retreat, all you had during your ten years exile.”
His arm went round her shoulders, urging her closer until her head rested on his shoulder. “Those years seem a lifetime away,” he said quietly. “Now I have a family, a life-mate, you, and two cubs on the way. So many changes in such a short time takes a lot of getting used to, T’Chebbi. I would like your company tonight if you’ve no other plans.” Gently he stroked her cheek.
“I’ve no other plans,” she purred.
the Couana, Zhal-S’Asha, 22nd day (October)
Caught between dreaming and waking, he was powerless to prevent the last memories beginning to play. He whimpered, trying to move, to force himself to wakefulness, but it was useless, he was unable to do anything but endure.
It had all begun with the arrival of the message.
Stronghold, Zhal-S’Asha, (month of Approaching Darkness), 13th day (October)
“Brother Kusac, got a message for you.”
He looked up to see Kai and grunted around his mouthful of food.
“Master Rhyaz wants to see you in his office.”
“I’ll be ten minutes,” he said when he’d swallowed it.
“He said it was urgent,” pressed Kai.
“I’m eating!”
Kai shrugged. “Hey, I only pass the messages on. Up to you if you want your ear chewed.”
He frowned at the Human youth. “Watch your tongue, youngling, or it’ll be your ears that get chewed! Go hand my meal into the kitchen and ask them to keep it warm for me,” he said, holding out his plate as he got up.
*
As he entered Rhyaz’ office, he was surprised to see his father sitting with Lijou in the informal area. Crossing the room to join them, his eyes were drawn to a cylindrical container about eight inches long lying on the low table. Intrigued, he sat down, nodding a greeting to his father. “I didn’t expect to see you here, Father.”
“This arrived at Haven three days ago,” said Rhyaz, picking it up as he sat down. He held it out to him.
“For me?” Surprised, he took it from Rhyaz, turning it over to examine the exterior. His name had been etched into the metal casing. “What is it?”
“It’s the contents of a deep space message beacon. It emerged from jump by the outpost and began emitting a signal guiding our people to it.”
“Who’s it from?” he asked, turning it round, looking for a way to open it.
“Twist the top,” said Rhyaz. “It’s from General Kezule. I apologize, but we had to open it for security reasons.”
Surprised, he unscrewed the top and shook the contents— a sheet of paper and a data crystal— into his lap. As he did, a familiar scent drifted up to his nostrils. Lifting the cylinder to his nose, he sniffed. He recognized it instantly— Doctor Zayshul’s. A jolt of anticipation mixed with fear filled him as he dropped the container to his lap and picked up the message, praying that this meeting wasn’t because it contained references to his night with Zayshul.
“We opened it because we couldn’t take the risk it was trapped, Kusac,” said Rhyaz.
He stared at the words, hardly taking in them or what Rhyaz was saying. On the paper, her scent was stronger, but he was picking up another, more elusive odor. Not Kezule’s, which was there; this was Sholan— not Rhyaz’, the scent was too immature for that. A sense of horror flooded through him: it was the scent of a Sholan cub. His ears began to flatten; hurriedly he forced them to remain upright.
“Kezule wants you to meet him,” said his father, breaking the silence.
He read the words, written not by Kezule, but by Zayshul.
I have something of interest to you, Kusac Aldatan. Meet me on the fifteenth day of Khazuh at the coordinates on the data crystal. When you arrive, transmit the given ID code. Bring no telepaths and do not come in force.
“Kezule’s left the Prime world,” Rhyaz said. “He’s taken a ship and some sixty people and disappeared. Our intelligence tells us that an anti-Sholan dissident group tried to recruit him for a coup against their Emperor. He exposed the plot, but the ringleader escaped. The message he left behind claimed he was leaving K’oish’ik because if he remained, he’d always be a focus for dissidents.”
“What could Kezule have of interest to you, Kusac?” his father asked.
Even though he heard their voices, his mind had shut down, was refusing to take in what they were saying. There had been more to the cub’s scent, another layer that struck fear into his heart.
“What could he have, Kusac?” repeated Rhyaz more sharply.
“I don’t know,” he replied through lips that felt numb. How could he tell them what had happened between him and the Valtegan doctor? That night was branded on his soul forever.
“We need to know what Kezule’s up to,” said Rhyaz. “Why he really left the Prime world. We need you to keep this rendezvous and find out what he claims he has on you.”
“He could be laying a false trail,” he heard himself say.
“He could, but we don’t think so. Why expose the dissidents and then leave K’oish’ik if he wanted revenge on us?”
“The political situation is very tricky, Kusac,” said his father quietly. “This is the second time in five months there’s been an attempt on the lives of their royal family. If the monarchy is destabilizing, we need to know about it now. We don’t know how widespread this anti-Sholan feeling is and our operatives can’t get permission to leave the City to find out. This meeting with Kezule may be our only chance to discover what’s going on outside the Royal Court.”
He nodded, barely aware of what he was agreeing to.
“If he has something of interest to us, get it and bring it back, even if you have to use lethal force,” said Rhyaz. “One other thing: because your father’s been asked to pass on any information concerning Kezule to the Prime Ambassador, you have to be seen acting independently of us— a renegade. Unfortunately, you’ve too high a profile to just disappear.”
That caught his attention. “What?”
“We can’t take you off Shola secretly on one of our ships. You’ll have to steal one.”
He looked from Rhyaz to his father in disbelief. “Steal a ship? You sanction this, Father?”
“It’s the only way we can do it without getting drawn into an incident with the Primes. If there was any other way, believe me, I wouldn’t agree to this mission,” his father said.
Pulling his thoughts together, he folded the message up, putting it and the crystal back into the container. “The penalty for stealing a ship is mental readjustment and imprisonment in a correction facility. You want me to risk this? And who’d believe I’d steal a ship and leave Shola for no reason?”
“You have a reason,” said Rhyaz. “At the time of the Cataclysm, Sholans rescued after being questioned by Enforcers like J’koshuk often returned voluntarily to the Valtegans because they’d become depe
ndent on their captors. We’ll make sure it’s known you’ve been similarly affected. It should give you some protection if you’re caught.”
His thoughts returned to the scents. Had he somehow sired a cub on the Valtegan doctor despite his fears that the Prime implant had left him sterile, and despite the fact that the Valtegans were so different from them? Were it not for his own hybrid daughter and the half-U’Churian cub still to be born, he’d have dismissed the idea instantly, but not now. Not when he knew Doctor Zayshul headed medical research on the Kz’adul, and not after smelling the cub’s scent on the message. His blood ran cold as he realized he wanted to see her again, not because— the Gods forbid!— there might be a cub, but because her scent had evoked memories that were pleasurable.
Wrenching his attention back to the conversation, he rammed the lid on the container, tightened it, then all but threw it on the table in front of him.
“What happens to a renegade Brother, Rhyaz? Will you set all the others to kill me on sight?” he demanded, looking at his father again, scarcely able to believe he was part of this mad scheme.
“He has no jurisdiction over you,” interrupted Lijou. “Only I have, and no, that will not happen, I promise you.”
Rhyaz looked at the priest. “Lijou, be realistic! I don’t want Kusac killed either, but how am I to stop them without it looking like complicity? What reason do I give?”
“You’ll find one,” said his father harshly. “He can’t go alone, you know that. Even Kezule admits there will be others present. He needs an interstellar ship and a crew.”
“You already gave a reason for not pursuing him with force. He’s ill, suffering from trauma caused by his captivity,” said Lijou.
“I’m not leaving before Carrie’s cub is born,” he said suddenly, taking hold of the situation.
“You need to leave within the next ten days to be sure of meeting his deadline,” objected Rhyaz.
“It’s not negotiable,” he said, getting up and beginning to pace the room.
“Agreed,” said Lijou.
“Lijou!” exclaimed the Warrior Master, ears tilting forward and eyes narrowing. “This mission is vital, even Konis admits that!”
“So is the birth of my son’s Triad-daughter,” said Konis.
“The En’Shallans are my concern, not yours, Rhyaz. You can ask him to go but he’s under my jurisdiction. He has a right to know his life-mate and the cub are doing well.”
“Very well,” said Rhyaz suddenly relaxing.
“I’ll need a fast ship— one capable of doing it in three days,” he said, wondering why Rhyaz had capitulated so suddenly. It mattered little, he had no option but to go and find out the truth about Zayshul and the second scent. Let them think they were sending him, he knew differently. “I want the Couana, Rhyaz. It’s capable of being crewed exclusively by Sholans.”
“You’ll have it. One other consideration, Kusac. You have to ensure Kaid won’t try to follow you. If you don’t, you’ll put him and Carrie, to say nothing of their newborn, at risk.”
He stared at Rhyaz, suddenly realizing the full extent of what he was losing by heading out to meet Kezule and Zayshul. Once Carrie had given birth, her mind would Leska Link again— perhaps back to him despite his Talent being suppressed by the memory problems. Even if this mission went well, he’d not get the chance to Link to Carrie again until she’d born yet another cub, a cub he might be unable to father given the damage the Prime’s implant had caused.
“You can’t ask him to alienate Carrie and Kaid!” exclaimed Konis, rising to his feet in distress. “In Vartra’s name, Rhyaz, we’re asking him enough of him as it is!”
“I’m only pointing out what could happen if he doesn’t,” said Rhyaz reasonably.
Anger surged through him. “I’ll do it, but you organize the Couana,” he snarled, snatching up the message cannister. “And choose me a crew who have nothing to lose if this goes wrong and we end up branded traitors and renegades by the whole Alliance!”
*
He went straight to Kaid’s home. This had to be gotten over with before he lost his courage. As he approached, the security system automatically began to interrogate his craft.
“Kaid, it’s me, Kusac,” he said. “We need to talk.”
“Kusac? Hold on. Let me disable the security,” came Kaid’s voice over the craft’s comm. “You can land now. What’s the matter?”
“Meet me outside,” he said shortly, cutting the link.
*
When he landed, Kaid was waiting for him in front of the house.
“It’s good to see you, Kusac,” he said, coming forward to greet him.
“This isn’t a social visit, Kaid,” he said, avoiding his sword-brother’s outstretched arms. “I want Carrie to go home to have the cub. You shouldn’t have brought her here. She’s a Clan Leader, her place is on our estate.”
“Carrie’s free to go where she wants, Kusac,” said Kaid, frowning as he stopped short. “She’s closer to Noni here, that’s all. What’s wrong? This isn’t like you.”
“Carrie being here is what’s wrong,” he said harshly. This wasn’t easy. It was hurting him far more than he’d imagined to speak to Kaid like this. “Neither of you thought to ask me how I felt about her leaving home.” He caught sight of T’Chebbi and Carrie through the large front window. “I see you brought T’Chebbi here too. Quite a little hareem you’ve gotten yourself, isn’t it? I thought there was something special between us, Kaid, but there isn’t, is there? Bringing Carrie here is about you and what you want, not her safety.”
“You know that’s not true,” said Kaid, his voice low. “We’re sword-brothers. You’re as dear to me as Carrie is. If you stopped to think, you’d realize that. What’s gotten into you? Why, after we’ve been here three weeks, are you suddenly coming here to complain? Have the memories started? Is that what it is? I know this isn’t you talking right now.”
Why did Kaid have to be so understanding? Couldn’t he tell this was tearing him apart? Mentally, he retreated even further into himself, walling away the hurt he was causing them all, reminding himself he had to do this— or risk them following him into Kezule’s grasp.
“Dammit, Kaid! Listen to me for once!” he said with genuine anger. “You’re too damned used to everyone looking to you for leadership because of your age and experience! You don’t see me as an equal, do you? You’ve never even considered me a real sword-brother! After all, I forced the relationship on you, just as you forced…”
“Kusac, don’t!” interrupted Kaid coldly, hair beginning to rise and his ears swivel sideways, folding down ready to fight. “I forced nothing on you at any time. The opposite in fact. You turned to me.”
As Kaid seemed to grow in stature, he remembered just how dangerous a person his sword-brother was. Fear clutched him low in his belly and he retreated a few steps till he hit the side of the aircar. “I should have expected that response from you, considering your background,” he said, hearing his voice breaking. “I can see through you now, Kaid. Our Triad means nothing to you except as a way to get all that you wanted. I’m just an inconvenience to your plans now, aren’t I?”
Kaid’s low growl deepened, becoming a full-throated roar as he leaped forward and grasped hold of him with a swiping motion. The sharp burning pain across his chest faded to unimportance as he found his face inches from Kaid’s mask of fury.
“Any other male I would have killed for saying what you just did,” he snarled. “I told you once before never to question my loyalty to you. You have. Repeat what you’ve said today to anyone else, and by Vartra, Kusac, you’ll wish you had died on the Kz’adul! Now get out of here! Carrie can return to the villa when our cub is old enough to travel if that’s what she chooses. I will not. Until you apologize for what you just said, I want nothing more to do with you!”
He was lifted and flung bodily into the aircar, careening off the far bulkhead as Kaid sealed the door.
Shaking violently, he cau
ght hold of the pilot’s seat and pulled himself to his feet. He opaqued the windows, knowing if he looked back, he’d change his mind and rush out to apologize and tell Kaid everything.
Mechanically, he started the ignition sequence and took off, the pain in his chest when he stretched across the console feeling good because it reminded him he was still alive. He didn’t notice the tears rolling down his cheeks.
Aldatan Estate, Zhal-S’Asha, 14th day (October)
Konis had learned the hard way that trying to keep anything from his life-mate was not a wise decision to make. With their twin cubs due in four weeks, however, he was afraid to tell her about Kusac’s mission lest the news cause her to go into premature labor. Not telling her and letting her hear the public version on the newsnets was not an option he relished either. And there was no one he could ask for advice beyond those at Stronghold, each of whom had a different opinion.
When he arrived home, Rhyasha was resting. Too gravid to walk upright comfortably, she rose late and spent her days conducting estate business in her upstairs office from her day bed.
She looked up as he entered. With her hair unbound, framing her face and cascading round her shoulders like a cloud of sunlight, he was reminded of their early days together, when she’d been expecting their firstborn, Kusac. Then she’d flown in the face of convention, rejecting the marriage arranged for her by his predecessor, ensuring she’d become pregnant by him, knowing that the Clan Lord and her family would have to accept their marriage.
“What’s wrong, Konis?” she asked. “I might be brain-dead now because of the cubs, but I can tell when all’s not well with you. What did they want at Stronghold?”
Before he could answer, she’d pushed herself upright in her nest of cushions. “It’s about Kusac, isn’t it? Tell me!”
He shook his head, Human style, and joined her on the day bed.
“Carrie then! In Vartra’s name, tell me, Konis!” she said anxiously.
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