“It must have taken a lot out of him to do it, if that’s what he did. I want you to be prepared, Aislin—he’s very weak. He may not make it.”
She pulled clenched fists up to her cheeks and said through gritted teeth, “Don’t say that! Don’t say that! He has to make it...he has to...”
“I love him!”
Chapter Thirty Seven
TRISTAN WALKED SLOWLY ALONG THE shoreline of the ocean for hours before he finally sat down in the sand to wait. He was in Valhar, the Sylvan Land of the Dead. There was no one on the beach, but he instinctively knew someone would come for him.
He felt nothing: no pain, no sadness, only a bit of regret that he’d not been able to say a proper goodbye to Aislin.
It was beautiful here. He would now be able to see the elves who lived only in his memories. Yet, he felt a tug at his heart for what might have been.
He’d known for some time that he was hopelessly in love with Aislin, but he didn’t want to burden her with that when she had so much on her mind. It astonished him that he could feel that kind of love for a human, but she was one of a kind, a rare jewel. She would have to move on where she was, growing old, maybe marrying and having children. He wondered if he would be able to do that here.
He would never see Aislin again. Not being Sylvan, she couldn’t come to Valhar. He dropped his head into his hands with a painful sigh.
Eventually, he saw a shadow pass in front of him. He shaded his eyes with his hand and looked up.
“Starr!” Tristan jumped up and crushed his sister in his arms. She was warm, he could feel her heart beating. He held her tightly, enjoying her presence.
“Easy, Tristan!” Starr laughed, pushing him to loosen his grip. “Not so tight!”
He held her back away from him and looked her over. She was exactly as he remembered her.
Silken black hair draped to her slim waist. Her eyes, so like Tristan’s, were bright green, flecked with gold. Her face was delicate, mouth small but full. She’d been a beauty in life, she was no less beautiful in death.
“I’m surprised to see you here!” Starr kissed him on the cheek and smiled, her eyes bright.
“I’m a little surprised to find myself here. I’m so glad to see you.”
They sat down on the beach. “I know what you’ve done.” She turned to him. “You sacrificed yourself for her.”
“I have never used my healing powers before. I thought maybe I would survive the first time.”
She nodded and looked out at the ocean. “Some do not, as you know.”
Tristan inhaled deeply. He had played this moment over in his mind hundreds of thousands of times since his sister’s death. He knew exactly what he wanted to say to her. “I want you to know how sorry I am that I couldn’t save you from Madaheth.”
Starr looked surprised. “I am solely to blame for my death. I never should have gone back to the village for those books. I knew the danger. You’ve spent your life agonizing about something you had no control over.”
“Still, I was having the visions. If I just could’ve made sense of them...” He clenched his fists, the familiar sense of anger and frustration washing over him.
Starr put her arm through his and laid her head on his shoulder. “It was my time to die. And my leg is not twisted here! I run and walk just like everyone else.”
“Can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. Despite what you may think of your abilities, you are not so powerful that you can interfere with fate. Everyone’s life plays out exactly how it’s supposed to. My life was shorter than yours, but no less valuable. I have no regrets. I am content.”
Tristan hadn’t expected blame from her, but he hadn’t expected swift absolution either. The sword of self-pity and failure had been wrested away from him before he’d had a chance to impale himself on it. His sweet sister had disarmed him with gracious acceptance.
“Tell me about the human woman. Aislin.”
Tristan grinned widely. “Ah, Starr. My Aislin. She’s...beautiful...amazing...strong...smart. I’ve never met anyone like her. You would hate her because she’s human, but she’s not like any human I have ever met.”
Starr shrugged. “I don’t hate humans. No one here does.”
“Really?”
“Of course not! This is Valhar. Hate has no place here.”
He hadn’t thought of that. “Are you happy, Starr?”
“I have never been unhappy. Not when I lived, and especially not here.”
“I miss your smile. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” She smiled, and took his hand. ”Tristan, I’m fine. I really am. Some of us go easy, and some of us go hard. It was a little scary for me, dying, but not especially painful. I know you did everything you could to find me, but it just wasn’t meant to be. You have to accept that.” She looked thoughtful. “You ask my forgiveness, but you first need to forgive yourself. You’ve been punishing yourself for over a hundred years. It’s time to let it go.”
He covered his face with his hands. He’d carried it with him for so long. Could he forgive himself?
“Do you love her?” Starr asked.
Tristan was silent for a moment. “More than life itself.”
“She grieves for you.”
Pain pierced his heart. “Perhaps she’s better off without me.”
“Why do you say that?” He didn’t answer her, and she pressed him. “How is she better off without the elf who loves her more than life itself?”
“She would never be accepted by the Sylvan. We have spent so long hating humankind...”
“You...the Sylvan people... spend too much time hating. The humans who hurt us are long gone.”
“There are so many obstacles...”
“And they are obstacles that you have put in place. You overthink things, Tristan. You always have. Loving someone is never wrong. If you love her, find a way to make it work.”
He smiled at Starr, a mischievous spark in his eyes. “Does she love me?”
“You’ll have to go back and find that out for yourself.”
“I can go back?” he asked, a little shocked.
“Yes. You haven’t gone beyond the shore. I came here to talk to you, not to bring you to us. You have much to accomplish yet. Fill your life with love and be happy. Do it for me.”
He nodded. “I love you, Starr. Hold onto that.”
“I love you too, brother. Now get out of here. You’ve got things to do!”
Tristan could feel himself lifting off the beach into the air, away from Starr. She waved up at him, her face illuminated with a smile as bright as a thousand suns. His heart felt light, lighter than it had in ages. Starr was fine...they were all fine. Maybe he could finally find some peace.
He gasped and opened his eyes. There was pressure on his chest, and for a moment, he was afraid to look. He cast his eyes downward, and was relieved to see the back of Aislin’s head. She was lying across his chest, sound asleep, her face turned away from him.
He didn’t move, just savoring the feel of her.
Loving someone is never wrong. Find a way to make it work.
He raised his hand, touched her hair, and said, “Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Aislin shot up with a start and stared at him, her mouth open. He chuckled weakly. “Surprised to see me?”
She flew off her chair and into the hall, calling for Roderic. And then she was back on the bed on her knees, both hands on his face, kissing him all over.
“I thought you were dead!” she gasped.
“I think I might have been for awhile. I was definitely in Valhar.”
“What?”
“Never mind. I’ll explain later.”
Roderic skidded around the corner and in
to the room, followed by Bryce and Stanis.
“I’m glad to see so many of you care about me!” Tristan laughed.
“What happened to you?” asked Roderic. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Aislin, but I thought you were a goner.”
“Jariath broke Aislin’s arm so badly...well...I knew it would kill her if I didn’t do something.” He turned his attention to Aislin. “Every Sylvan has the power to heal broken bones and wounds, but it can be fatal. Sometimes it’s fatal for us the first time we use that power. You never know. I know how important you are to Arianrhod, Aislin. I couldn’t let you die. I knew I had to heal that arm for you, even if it killed me.”
Aislin was crying now, big wet tears falling onto his chest and soaking into his shirt. “You idiot!” she sobbed. Then she collapsed across him. “I love you!”
Tristan caught his breath. She’d never said that before. He held her close to him and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Aislin. Always.”
Stanis, Roderic and Bryce exchanged embarrassed glances. “We’ll leave the two of you alone. If you need anything, just call,” said Roderic, as they backed out the door.
They lay quietly side by side, the storm over. Tristan finally looked down at her and said, “You disappeared from the dungeon. I found the rag soaked with bortroot. Did Duff take you again?”
She nodded. “I don’t know how he got into the manor house.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“I don’t think he had time. Jariath’s men caught him in the forest with me flung over his shoulder. I have no memory of any of it. Duff is dead. Jariath cut his throat. I hope they get the body out of the throne room and get that blood cleaned up before Mother and Gwen get back home. My mother will not be happy if that purple carpet gets stained.”
Tristan didn’t know if he should laugh or not. “So we no longer have to worry about Duff. That’s good.”
“I still don’t understand how he got into the dungeon and found me. It makes no sense.”
“It makes sense to me.”
She picked her head up and looked at him. “How?”
“I didn’t remember it until just now. Duff had the ability to put himself in someone’s presence just by thinking about them. I wonder how many times he tried it, only to find you in the presence of others. This may have been the one and only time he went looking for you and found you by yourself. He probably didn’t even know where he was—just that he’d finally caught you alone.”
Aislin laid her head back down on his shoulder. “That explains why Jariath didn’t say anything about you. He didn’t know because Duff didn’t know you were with me in the dungeon. I was sick with worry about you when I woke up in the throne room.”
“Did Jariath hurt you?”
“Other than the arm, no. I was sure I was going to Morrigan with him though. I was completely out of options until you showed up. I even tried to get him to kill me, but he wouldn’t do it.”
Tristan made a strangled sound. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to hear you say that.”
“I didn’t want to have to kill him, but this never would have been over if I hadn’t. He just never knew when to stop.” Aislin shivered in his arms. “It’s a strange feeling to kill someone. I hope I never have to do it again.”
“I’m very proud of you.” He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger there.
“Thankfully, Wyndham’s army got here in time. Uncle Stanis said you delivered my mother and Gwen to them. Thank you for that.”
“No thank you necessary. I knew you’d want that done before I started looking for you.” Tristan smiled at her. “Gwen did everything I asked of her, but your mother is a piece of work.”
Aislin giggled. “That she is. What was her reaction when she saw your face?”
“She hasn’t seen my face yet, nor has Gwen. I kept the hood up the whole time. I didn’t have time to explain, and I didn’t want to scare anyone.”
“There’s nothing scary about you, but I agree about the explaining. Mother would have had a million questions.”
He tipped her face up to his and kissed her. “I fought it for the longest time, but I really think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I held you in my arms the night we caught you in the forest, and I knew I could never let you go.”
“I have to admit—it took me a little longer to fall in love with you,” Aislin laughed. “As I recall, you were very mean to me at first.”
“Mean? I’ll show you mean!” Tristan rolled over on top of her, biting gently at her neck as Aislin squealed with delight.
Chapter Thirty Eight
“AT LEAST HE DIDN’T DESTROY the orchard. We can be thankful for that,” said Stanis.
Stanis, Bryce, Roderic and Aislin were taking a walking tour of the kingdom to assess the damage done by Morrigan’s soldiers. They were all surprised to see that, for the most part, everything remained intact.
“If Jariath had known you were on your way, every one of these trees would have been cut down,” said Aislin. “And the village would have been burnt to the ground. I have no doubt about that.”
“Will there be any repercussions from Morrigan when they find out Jariath has been killed?” asked Bryce.
Aislin privately hoped no one from Morrigan would ever find out Jariath was dead. She specifically hoped no one would ever find out that she’d delivered the deathblow.
Roderic and Bryce had quickly buried Jariath’s body in the loneliest corner of the family cemetery, hoping to keep things quiet, but there was still a niggling of fear in her heart. Jariath had brothers, but she didn’t know how many, or what they looked like. Would she spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder?
She’d barely slept a wink last night for nightmares. One in particular had sent her shooting off the bed, so terrified that Tristan had to catch her and hold her down, his hand over her mouth until she calmed down and stopped screaming.
A dead and bloody Jariath, a gaping hole in his throat where the pike had pierced him, had her trapped against the cemetery wall.
“I will never stop hunting you.”
“I don’t know,” said Aislin, shaking her head to scatter the remnants of the nightmare. “I don’t know how much of an army Morrigan has left. They’re a vengeful and vindictive lot. I wouldn’t put anything past Boru.”
“I think it’s pretty clear, given the circumstances, that part of Wyndham’s army should remain here. Do you have any objections, Aislin?” asked Stanis.
“No. In fact, I welcome it. I never want to go through this again.”
She’d been feeling optimistic as they toured, but her heart sank when they visited the stables. Most of the horses were missing, the cattle driven off.
“All of those years of careful breeding, gone,” she said. “How will we rebuild the bloodlines we had here?”
“Not to worry. Wyndham has been the recipient of many fine horses from these stables. We can supply you with enough cattle and horses to start over,” said Stanis.
“Are there many villagers dead?” Aislin was almost afraid to ask.
“A few, but not as many as you’d think. Some of the women of the village were treated roughly by the soldiers, but none killed,” Stanis said delicately.
“Damn him!” Aislin swore, curling her hands into fists. She’d been unable to protect her people, and she’d been torturing herself with “what ifs” since they’d begun the tour.
What if we would have had our own army? What if I could have stopped him before he did this? It wasn’t rational, of course—she had no way of knowing Jariath was going to take things to such an extreme. Still, she kept thinking that she should have seen something that would have given her a clue that his behavior was becoming dangerous.
“And he did all
this because you wouldn’t marry him?” Bryce asked, his eyes round with disbelief.
“That’s what some people will tell you, but it’s not the whole story. He may have thought he wanted me, but Morrigan is a swamp. He needed productive land in order to advance himself. I was just an incidental.”
“I disagree with that,” said Roderic. “I think you intrigued him. You were the only one who’d ever told him ‘no’.”
“He never understood that ‘no’ does not mean ‘maybe, if you can bully me into it’,” Aislin said vehemently. “And that’s the last I wish to speak of him. He’s already spent far too much time inside my head.”
“How is Tristan today?” asked Stanis.
“Still worn out and weak, but I think he’ll be fine. He was sleeping like a baby when I left him this morning.”
“I’m glad to hear he’s better,” said Roderic. “He had me scared for awhile.”
“Devin and Maeve rode in from Blackthorne two hours ago. They were on a white stallion that I would like to have for myself,” said Bryce, grinning. “Do you think Tristan would consider selling it to me?”
“I’ll ask him,” said Aislin. The love of a good horse had evidently passed from father to son. “Have you seen your mother and grandmother?”
“They’re already at the manor house resting. Encounters with Jariath left them both badly bruised, but they’re not seriously hurt. Both are dehydrated, but Cook is taking care of that with copious amounts of chamomile tea. I’d like everyone to get together for dinner tonight. I’d like it very much if you and Tristan would come,” Bryce said.
She could hear the hope in Bryce’s voice, but Aislin hesitated. “I don’t know about that. I don’t know how Mother will react when she sees him, and I don’t want to put him through that.”
Aislin of Arianrhod (Land of Alainnshire) Page 25
