I knew that cry. I owned that cry.
I’d known its beginning, and I would know its end.
It didn’t matter what had happened in between.
Her rebel heart had always belonged to me.
I stepped away and reached for my clothes, watching as her eyes devoured every movement I made while I undressed.
After so long together, her expressions still mesmerized me.
Dazed and adorable when she woke.
Possessive and entranced when I bared myself to her. Like it was the first time she was seeing me.
Erotic and calm when she came.
I wanted to be mesmerized by her forever.
I closed the distance between us again and curled my hand around her neck, my thumb tracing faint patterns until her head tilted back and she hummed contentedly.
I dipped my head and pressed a soft kiss on her jaw. “Turn around. Hands on the wall.”
Her stare flashed to mine and her teeth sank into her bottom lip, but she turned without a word. With one last glance over her shoulder at me, she shifted her legs farther apart and slid her hands down the wall until her ass was pressed against me.
I gripped her hips in my hands and bent to place kisses along her spine and over the rounded cheeks of her ass as I knelt behind her, spreading her legs wider and baring her to me. I ran my thumbs through her sex, spreading her and teasing her before leaning forward to taste her.
Her body shook and legs nearly buckled before she caught herself.
“Oh God,” she whispered when I teased her again and again. Her next plea got lost in her moan when I flattened my tongue and devoured her in a way I knew drove her crazy.
There wasn’t a thing about this girl I didn’t know.
I knew when she’d push against me in a silent plea for more.
Knew the exact pitch of her whimper when tremors started rolling through her body.
Knew she shied away just before she came because she didn’t like the free fall—the feeling of losing control just before waves of pleasure surged through her body.
I knew her like the back of my hand … and yet, I never wanted to stop knowing her.
Never wanted to stop making her cry my name.
Never wanted to stop being the cause of her ecstasy.
I sucked her clit and rolled it between my teeth when she pressed closer to the wall, that slight, instinctive withdrawal, and continued through her orgasm when she cried out and pushed back against me.
When she struggled to stand and catch her breath, I placed a slow kiss to her sex and smirked when she trembled in response.
I took my time standing, kissing and leaving teasing bites over her ass and up her back until I was gripping her hip and pressing my length against her.
I fisted myself in my hand and pumped slowly, sliding against her sex and groaning when I teased her entrance.
“Maxon,” she whimpered and flattened her hands on the wall, using them to arch against me. “Oh God, please.”
She sucked in a stuttered breath, and her head dropped between her shoulders when I pushed in inch by inch until I was fully seated.
Home.
Everything about the wild girl in my hands screamed home.
“How I ever lived without this …” My words were nothing more than a rumble in my chest and sent goosebumps across her skin.
Never again.
I dug my fingers against her hips and finally moved.
Slow and controlled.
Then faster and unyielding.
Each roll of my hips more powerful than the last until she was pressing against me and clawing at the wall, my name mixed with her breathless pleas and moans.
I grabbed her hair, making her arch back as I pushed into her harder. Rougher.
A whimper and full-body tremor.
Her name built like a growl in my chest.
A faint twist and hesitant retreat.
Her name ripped from my throat when she shattered, forcing me into my own release.
I pumped into her slowly as my release pulsed from me, relishing in the hushed whimpers and moans with each slow movement.
When I was spent, I wrapped my arm around her stomach and curled over her shuddering body, intertwining my hand with hers where they clutched the wall.
Dropping my forehead to her back, I gently passed my mouth across her skin. “If these walls were mad before …”
Her body shook with a laugh, and she slowly rolled her hips against me. “Wonder what else we can make mad in here.”
A breath of a laugh left me. “Rebel …”
She eased to standing. “Well, if you’re not up for it.”
She was on her back and I was sliding into her again in seconds, her wild, beautiful laughter still ringing through the room.
I TRAILED MY HAND UP to rest between her breasts some time later. When I felt the familiar thrum thrum thrum, I took a deep breath and let my eyes slide shut.
“Your heartbeat will always be my favorite song,” I murmured and smiled when I felt her pace go wild.
“I love you.” She wove her fingers through my hair and pulled me close to kiss me.
I nipped at her lips teasingly. “I love you. Let me take you home where there isn’t a chance of an audience.”
Her face pinched uneasily. “Einstein.”
I dropped my head to her stomach.
“We need our own place.”
My chest moved with a silent laugh. “As soon as you mean that, we will.”
I felt her tense. “What—what do you mean?”
I swallowed thickly and shifted to rest my chin on her so I could watch her reaction. “The second you say you want a place of our own and it isn’t a lie, I’ll make it happen. But you don’t want to leave that apartment.”
She opened her mouth to respond—to deny it, from the look in her eyes—but the words never came.
“The last thing I want is to push you, Libby. I know this has been a lifetime coming, but I also know you need your freedom. You need things to go at your pace.”
“That’s not …” She let out a groan and covered her face with her hands. After nearly a minute, she let them fall to the bed and studied my face. “It has nothing to do with my freedom or pacing. Maxon, I want to be with you. I want our freedom. But I’ll take you however I can get you—even if that’s in an apartment filled with the band and Einstein.” She wove her fingers through my hair when my laugh danced across her skin. “Hear me when I say I do want a place of our own.”
My amusement faded, because it was there, lingering unspoken at the end of her sentence. “But … ?”
“But I think a part of me feels like I’d be abandoning Einstein when she needs me most, and that’s the hesitation you hear.” Her dark eyes searched mine. “She’s set on pushing the good out of her life to protect it, and it’s destroying them. It’s destroying her and turning her into this unpredictable, unreliable person none of us recognize.”
“Sounds familiar.”
She started to cut me a dry look, but her expression suddenly turned reflective. “Yeah, well. It might just come from being in this life and knowing the costs.”
“There are always costs, Rebel.”
“Not like this.”
“What, crazy mobsters? Maybe not. But I have fans who think they’re in relationships with me because of the way I smiled in a picture.” I lifted a brow when she dropped her head back and laughed.
“Oh God, how could I forget?”
“Two of them somehow found Ava’s address when the pregnancy thing blew up. One showed up at Ava’s house and screamed that she was a home-wrecking whore until the cops came. The other had sent half a dozen crazed letters by the time we made the statement the next day that it wasn’t my baby.” Libby’s face sobered instantly. “You would’ve known that if you’d answered your phone.”
“Maxon …” She shook her head. “What happened?”
“Not enough. They aren’t allowed to contact
her or me in any way or go near us, but they’d stopped caring about Ava by then because the statement had already gone out.” I dipped my head and pressed my mouth to her stomach. “But what if they stalk you when our relationship goes public? They’re not in mobs, but some of them are literally psychotic. That makes them dangerous too.”
Libby’s eyes had gotten a faraway look while I spoke. Just before I said her name to get her attention, she cleared her throat and looked away. “I would take care of it.”
“Hey—”
“But Einstein,” she said quickly, pulling the conversation back. “She was all over the place when Johnny died, but she was still Einstein. She still clung to us. She and Maverick were still …” She shrugged faintly. “Then one day, something happened and she flipped. She never told me. Or if she tried, I wasn’t there for her because I saw the announcement about your ‘fatherhood’ a couple days later.”
Einstein and Maverick …
My mind raced after Libby paired them together, thinking back to all the times I’d seen them around each other. It made sense, but I’d never caught on to them before.
Then again, I doubted anyone was supposed to.
If Johnny would’ve noticed, Maverick would be six feet under with him.
“Some days she’s normal—well, as normal as she ever gets. Others, every word and reaction is unlike anything I’ve ever seen from her. And the way she’s been disappearing lately … she’s never done that.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she gave me a pleading glance. “I know you and I need our own life. Einstein needs her own life. But she’s been there for me through everything, same as you. And I wasn’t there for her the only time she needed me.”
I nodded, then pushed up on my hands and left a line of kisses up her chest to her mouth.
Guilt radiated through me for ever thinking that she’d used me to get back at her family.
I knew Libby … I knew her personality. But I’d been wrong about her.
So damn wrong.
When she’d pushed me away all those years, I’d been sure my wild girl had needed her freedom and time to move at her pace. And she’d been protecting me. Protecting us.
And moving out of the apartment? Again, it was more about Einstein than us.
Selfless. Libby was so damn selfless for every move she’d made.
“When you’re ready, say the word,” I mumbled against her lips before pressing one last kiss there.
I pulled her up with me and off the bed, then helped her find her clothes before grabbing my own.
“Hey,” she said hesitantly when we finished dressing. “Are you planning to do what the guys did for this house?” She let her eyes drift to the bed we’d just left. “Buying all new things so you can keep your other stuff in the LA house and go back and forth between them?”
A hint of a laugh left me.
“What?”
“Forever.” When she looked like she was waiting for me to continue, I said, “I’ve been waiting forever for this. For us. You think I’m gonna live half my life across the country without you?”
Her brows pinched in confusion but her mouth was pulling into a cautious smile. She looked fucking adorable. “I didn’t think we had a choice.”
“I’m just waiting for my car to get here in a couple days. Everything else is already at the house.”
Her eyebrows pulled tighter. “This house?” When I shook my head, her entire body seemed to go slack. “You actually bought a house? You have a house?”
“We have a house.” I barked out a laugh when she looked at me like I’d kept something huge from her—you know, like being in the mafia. “I told you at Brooks Street. Two stories, four bedrooms, three baths. Big trees and a backyard, wraparound porch, and—”
“Shutters on the windows,” she murmured. “You were serious? That’s ours?”
“Rebel … yeah.”
I barely had time to react and catch her when she launched herself at me. She pressed her mouth to mine for a quick, heated kiss. When she pulled away, her eyes were bright with excitement. “Can we go see it?”
“No.”
Her excitement faded immediately.
I let her slide to the floor and curled my hands around her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. “You just told me why you’re not ready to leave your apartment. I don’t want a house to change your mind.”
“Einstein can figure out her life by herself, I’m sure.”
My mouth twitched into a smile and I pressed a faint kiss to her lips. “The second you’re ready.”
“Don’t be reasonable right now. Pretend I never said anything.”
I gave her a mischievous grin and pulled her to the door. “Like Einstein and Maverick?”
“What—no, that’s not—” Libby looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Wait, did you not know?” When I only continued walking, she asked, “How? How did no one know? It was the most obvious and devastating love story of the decade. Besides ours.”
“A certain rebel kept me distracted whenever I came home.” I shot her a wink when she flushed red and opened the door for us. “Speaking of distractions, safe to say it’s been fifteen minutes.”
“And it was such a good distraction, Mr. James. Feel free to do it—” She swore when she tripped over something, taking me with her.
“The fuck is that?” I said under my breath and bent to pick up the dark object that had been outside the door. “What is this?”
I turned it over in my hands and pushed one of the buttons, blinking rapidly when a flash went off in the dimly lit hallway. I held it out when it started making an odd noise and laughed when I noticed what was coming out of it.
“Holy shit, weren’t you asking about these?” I pulled the picture out of the camera and murmured, “I don’t remember them looking like this.”
When there wasn’t a response, I looked to my side, then behind me. Libby was staring in horror at the camera in my hands.
“Libby?” I grabbed her shoulder and shook her when she didn’t respond. “Libby.”
“Why was that there?” she asked, her tone dead and eyes not leaving my hands.
“I don’t …” My chest pitched with a bemused huff. “I don’t know. Didn’t you just ask me about—”
“We need to go.”
“What?”
Her eyes were wild when she focused on me. “We need to leave. Now.”
“Libby, what’s—what the fuck?” I snapped when she smacked the camera out of my hand, then turned and stormed off.
She didn’t try to explain. She didn’t say anything at all.
No matter how much I begged for her to say something when I caught up to her. No matter how much I yelled for her to have some kind of reaction on the drive home.
As soon as we set foot in the apartment, she turned to go to Einstein’s room without a backward glance.
“Libby, fucking talk to me,” I yelled, and growled in frustration when she walked through the apartment, headed to our room.
Eyes straight ahead.
I reached for her and stared at her in shock when she yanked her arm from my grasp.
“What the hell, Libby? We were fine—better than fine. We were great. And then, Jesus, I don’t know. You freaked out over a damn camera.”
“We needed to leave,” she said simply.
“We needed to leave,” I said dully. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say after I’ve been begging you to explain what happened?” I spread my arms wide, my voice raising and echoing in the apartment. “Everything that’s happened since we left that room has been because of something other than us needing to leave. Tell me what I’m missing.”
She turned without a word.
“Libby—”
She whirled on me. “Maxon, stop.”
I searched her face for a few moments. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“What’s going on is I wanted to leave and you had a problem with that.”
“A problem?” I l
aughed harshly. “There was no problem. But you can’t expect me not to ask questions when you want me to leave somewhere the way we just did.”
“We left, Maxon. There’s no reason behind it. No matter how many times you ask, my answer won’t change.” Her stare fell to the floor. For the first time since we’d left the bedroom in Holloway, there was something other than horror or frustration lingering there. “I’m going to bed.”
“No more secrets. No more hiding anything,” I reminded her. “Even if you think you’re protecting me. You promised me that.”
Emotion swirled in her eyes when they met mine. “I know I did.”
Before I could beg her to give me something—anything—she went to our room.
Leaving me confused.
Drained.
Feeling like the high I’d just been riding from our time together had been ripped away.
Over a fucking camera.
What the hell is going on?
Libby
I’D NEVER REALIZED HOW UTTERLY lonely being alone was until the last two days.
Sounds self-explanatory.
It really wasn’t, not in my life anyway.
I grew up surrounded by others. Always.
My family. Extended family. Extended family we weren’t actually related to and I wanted nothing to do with. The older generation of Borello members … and the younger—mine.
Our house constantly swarmed with activity that was impossible to get away from. In part, it was normal because it was what I’d grown up with. It was also something I wanted to get away from.
I thrived off chaos. But I needed calm.
The rare moments when no one was around were dominated by fear. Because there was only one logical reason for everyone else to be gone. They were all dead.
Maxon provided the calm I always craved but could never achieve, and it was always when he was right beside me.
Now he was out of state working.
Einstein was MIA.
I was truly alone—simply alone. And I hated it.
I reached for my phone when it chimed and felt my disappointment like a living thing when I saw Conor’s name instead of Maxon’s.
Not that I could’ve allowed myself to respond to Maxon.
Not that I could tell him I hated myself for what I was doing to him. To us.
Lyric (Rebel Book 1) Page 16
