by Sean Kennedy
Will’s dad smirked. “All I’m saying is, we know he’s a troublemaker.”
“No,” Micah said, “we know he’s gay, and in your view, that’s all it takes to make someone a ‘troublemaker.’”
“Maybe if he used the girls’ change room, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
All hell was about to break loose again, but this time it was Will who stood up. “Dad, stop.”
Micah held his breath. Was this going to be Will’s big moment?
“Let’s just go.”
Obviously not. Micah sagged in his seat. Why did he even think that was a possibility? This wasn’t a feel-good made-for-television movie. Moments like that never happened in real life.
“This isn’t over,” Rick said.
“Oh”—Will’s dad smiled, offering a hand, which Rick refused to take—“I think it is.”
As he left the room, Will following in his wake and still unable to acknowledge Micah, Rick turned to Mrs. Hin. “We’ll be taking this further.”
“Dad,” Micah said tiredly. “As a wise philosopher once said in a touching film about two sisters and an ice kingdom, ‘Let it go.’”
Mrs. Hin was only too happy to agree.
THE RIDE back home was excruciatingly silent except for the conversation at the hospital, when Micah kept his promise and allowed himself to get a proper medical check. He could tell his father was still fuming, and his mother wasn’t exactly that happy either, but Micah wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.
At least until they reached the safety of home.
The emergency department gave him the all-clear, and although relieved, Micah knew his parents were now free to grill him over what happened at school.
“Alex, go to your room,” Rick said as soon as they got in the front door.
“I’ll just be listening anyway,” Alex said.
“Let him stay,” Micah said. There might as well be even numbers in the fight.
Joanne and Rick exchanged looks.
“Oh, give me a break!” Micah protested. “There won’t be any dirty details like last time.”
His mother gave him a withering look.
“What?” Alex asked, and then he shrugged. “Oh, the sex thing.”
Micah held up his hands, as if to say I didn’t tell him.
“We know that kid attacked you for being gay. What we don’t know is why you covered for him.”
“Look, Dad, there were reasons.”
“Please enlighten us, then.”
“I can’t.”
Joanne shook her head. “Micah, why do you have to make everything so difficult?”
“Me?” Micah asked, incredulous. “If Dad had his way, he would have had us in the courts!”
“Hang on a minute!” Rick protested.
Micah ignored him. “At least this way, it’s all dealt with.”
“By letting someone get away with a hate crime?” Joanne asked.
Was it a hate crime if it was gay on gay? Maybe. Micah’s dark humour always popped up at the most inappropriate times.
“Don’t you laugh at your mother!”
“I’m not laughing,” Micah choked. He hadn’t even realised he was smiling. “Seriously! But, Dad, I remember you telling stories about school and how you were in punch-ups all the time. You thought it was funny then. How come it’s so different when it’s me?”
“Because you’re my son!” Rick looked close to exploding, and Micah was shocked at how emotional he sounded. “Because I don’t want people targeting you because you’re gay! Do you think we don’t worry about you? Do you think we don’t imagine what it’s going to be like for you in the AFL, if this is what you’re getting in school?”
“Dec survived okay,” Micah pointed out.
“He’s less hotheaded than you, and can walk away from a fight.”
“Actually,” Alex chimed in, “getting involved in fights on the field probably lost him the Brownlow Medal.”
Everybody looked at him.
“What? I read it on Wikipedia. He used to get upset if other guys sledged Simon.”
“Well, that’s different,” Micah said. “You being trash-talked on the field is one thing, but it’s not on if it’s about someone else. And this wasn’t about me.”
“Then what was it about?” Rick asked.
Realising he should have come up with a reasonable excuse way before this, Micah had to think fast on his feet. “He was making fun of Carl.”
“Emma’s cousin?”
“Yep.”
“What about, exactly? Did he think he was gay?” Joanne faltered a bit. “Are… are you and Carl boyfriends?”
Micah tried not to smile; smiling seemed to get him in trouble with his parents. “Mum, not everybody is gay!”
Alex snorted, and Joanne rebuked him—a bit more harshly than she probably meant, but it was like water off a duck’s back to Alex.
“Look, he was just calling him a geek and being really mean. So I pushed him, and then he hit me.”
“That’s the big secret?” Rick didn’t look convinced.
“There’s no use making a big deal out of it. And if we bring Carl into it, it’ll just be embarrassing for him. So it’s sorted, and can I go to bed now?”
Joanne’s head jerked up suspiciously. “You haven’t eaten dinner.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Micah—”
“Look, they said I don’t have concussion, so I’m fine.”
“After everything that’s happened today, you’re not going to bed without food,” Rick said.
“Well, if I must. But I really have suffered, so can we have pizza?”
His mum’s lips pursed. She knew she was being played, but Micah knew she would relent.
“Okay. But you’re calling.”
As Micah went to get the menu off the fridge, Alex followed him.
“We hardly ever get takeaway. You should get knocked out more often.”
“Don’t worry, kid,” Micah said. “Knowing my luck, this probably won’t be the last time.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Alex’s solemn expression disturbed Micah. He reached down and tousled the kid’s hair, something he very rarely did, but he felt the situation demanded it.
Chapter 4
DURING GETOUT training the next morning, Dec took Micah aside and asked him for all the details. Micah knew Dec was the one person he could trust, and when they were joined by Simon—making a rare appearance at the early morning session, with a cup of coffee acting as hand warmer—Micah divulged everything.
“Wow” was all Simon could say.
“You did the right thing,” Dec said. “Or, you did the thing I most probably would have done.”
“Did I do the right thing, though?” Micah asked. “All I know is that my parents are mad at me all over again.”
“You could probably tell them the full story,” Simon said. “I think they’ll realise you made the right choice. For that particular situation, at least.”
“But then I’m outing Will. Against his will, no pun intended.”
Simon shrugged. “In this case, I think it’s fine. They won’t do anything to him. I mean they won’t out him to anybody, especially his father. They know what could happen.”
Micah looked at Dec for confirmation.
“Jo and Rick will know he’s in a precarious position. And maybe, just maybe, Will might start to change in little ways as well, at least in dealing with himself. He’s had a narrow escape this time, and he knows it.”
“It was very mature of you. Well done!” Simon took a sip of his coffee. “Wow, that sounded really condescending.”
Micah nodded. “Yep. But thanks.”
“You know what I meant. The old Micah Johnson would probably have faked an Attitude cover with Will’s picture and then plastered them all over the school.”
“Can we not give him any ideas?” Dec implored.
“It’s a great idea,” Micah told Simon, “and you’
re right, I probably would have done that six months ago. But when I saw him, sitting in that office with his dad glaring at me, I just couldn’t do it to him. He’s obviously scared of his dad, or thinks his dad will be a prick if he comes out. And from what I saw of him, I can’t blame Will for that.”
He saw Dec and Simon exchange looks. He could have been mistaken, but he would have sworn it was something like pride.
“So I couldn’t out him. That’s something he’ll have to do himself, when he’s ready.”
Dec patted him on the shoulder.
“Oh, what, that isn’t condescending?” Simon asked, pointing at Dec.
Micah laughed.
Dec gave Simon a look, and he settled down. “Just wondering.”
“You two are such an old married couple,” Micah said.
“Not yet. You were at the engagement party, remember?”
“How could I forget? I almost kissed a girl, I was so—” He realised Dec was giving him a very pointed look. “—overcome with emotion.”
“Good thing Jasper Brunswick didn’t know,” Simon said, almost shuddering at the mention of his ex-nemesis’s name. “I can just imagine the headline on his blog: ‘Underage Drinking Leads to Almost Heterosexuality at Gay Social Event of the Year.’”
“The year?” Dec asked. “Really?”
Simon grinned. “I thought it was, anyway.”
Dec laughed, and the two of them were caught up in their own little world. “Yeah, me too.”
“Okay, I don’t want to make it sound like I think everything should be about me,” Micah said, “but let’s get back to me. Don’t you think the parentals will be mad because I’ve lied to them?”
“They’re probably already mad at you,” Simon said, and Micah caught Dec mouthing That’s not helping at him. “What I mean to say is, they’ll probably be much happier that you’re telling them the truth and that it’s actually for a good reason.”
“And it’s best that you approach them,” Dec added. “Let them see you trust them. Don’t forget, you want them to send you off to the next training camp thinking you’ll be okay.”
Micah hadn’t thought about the training camp lately, or how recent actions could affect his ability to gain a placement. “You don’t think they’ll say I can’t go, do you?”
Dec shook his head. “No.”
“Nothing can affect the grand game of football!” Simon mocked.
“You dare to say that, Mr. Lifetime Member of Richmond?” Dec asked.
“I was just stating a fact.”
“Anyway,” Dec said, looking back at Micah, “things will be much easier for you, at least, if you confide in them.”
“Consider it done,” Micah said grandly. Nothing was going to stop him getting to training camp, and then the draft camp in Canberra following it.
“So,” Simon said, giving him a sly look. “Almost kissed a girl, huh? Did you think that slipped us by?”
“I was being facetious.”
“It wasn’t Emma, was it?” Simon asked, while Dec shook his head.
As if she felt some great disturbance in the Force, they could see Emma shudder on the other side of the field.
“I told your mother I wouldn’t kiss and tell,” Micah said.
Simon gagged, and Dec actually laughed this time.
“You asked for it,” he told Simon.
“I’m outta here,” Simon declared. “Some of us have to be adult and work for a living.”
Micah watched him lean in and give Dec an affectionate kiss. His heart panged a little. Why were all of his recent interactions with guys so sucky? He would give anything to be at Simon and Dec’s level of intimacy with another human being.
“It wasn’t really his mum, was it?” Dec asked when Simon had left.
“No!”
“Just checking.”
Sometimes even Declan Tyler could surprise him with his humour.
UNFORTUNATELY, OR fortunately, his parents didn’t at all seem surprised at his revelations about Will.
“Did you think we were stupid?” Rick asked.
“Do I really have to answer that?”
“Cheeky bastard. At least the story makes a bit more sense now.”
“A bit? But why would he do that?” Joanne demanded. “When he’s gay too?”
Micah didn’t want to step into the role of teacher or speak on behalf of the whole queer community. But his parents were straight; unfortunately, they didn’t get it. Or at least not on the level some queer people felt when they actually lived through it. “Because it’s high school. High school is the worst place on earth. You guys should know—you lived through it as well.”
Rick nodded. Every kid had at least one story to tell.
“Then imagine you’re a gay kid. It feels like everybody is against you. There are always homophobes on the TV telling you you shouldn’t exist, words describing you are used as general insults, if you’re on the news it’s hardly ever for a good thing—it’s always due to a controversy and a debate you’re never involved in because everybody talks over you.”
His parents looked at him, dumbfounded, perhaps because he had never been so open and passionate with them, at least about being gay.
“And when you’re a guy, there’s all the other pressure. To not be seen as queer, to not have anybody suspect it of you at all. Because once you are, it sticks, and there’s nothing to wipe it off you. So some kids think they have to go to the extreme so nobody thinks they’re gay. They’ll be homophobic, they might even bully. But it’s to protect themselves. Because not every homophobe is a closeted gay. If they were, half of the world’s population would be gay, not ten percent.”
“That’s some speech,” Rick said.
“You can have my soapbox now if you want,” Micah said. He felt a bit shaky. It was hard for him to be this honest with his parents—with anyone, really.
“And you still want to protect this kid?” Joanne asked.
Micah thought about it for a moment. “Nobody else is really doing it at the moment.”
Joanne sniffed but held back her tears. “I don’t know whether to shake you or hug you.”
“A common feeling lately,” Rick said, although he was smiling.
“True dat,” Micah said.
“But what happens now?” Alex asked.
“Good question, younger sibling.” Micah slapped his thigh to emphasise the point. “But I don’t know. I guess I just go back to school and pretend nothing’s happened, Will pretends nothing’s happened, and then probably in five years’ time I’ll run into him at some gay bar.”
“Micah!” Joanne cried, but she began laughing.
“And then you’ll pash him,” Alex said, joining in on the joke.
Rick wasn’t as eager to get in on the joke, so Micah had to push him a little, because it was time his dad started to. “I swore to myself after my last boyfriend that I’d have better taste in men.”
“Well, thank God for that,” Rick said.
And then he laughed a little too.
A KNOCK on his bedroom door made Micah hurriedly hide his iPad beneath his doona cover. He had been checking out Facebook to see if Will had made any post about him or sent him a message under the false name he had been tormenting him with. “Come in.”
To his surprise, his dad opened the door and peered in at him.
“Can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Only one?”
Rick rolled his eyes, and Micah could imagine him as a teenager. For just a moment. He sat on the end of Micah’s bed.
“You don’t have to go back to that school if you don’t want to.”
Micah sighed. “Dad, if I left to go somewhere else, it would be my third school in six months.” He didn’t admit he had been thinking the same thing, but dismissed it.
“Maybe third time’s the charm?”
“Or maybe in another month, I’ll be begging to try a fourth.”
Rick shrugged. “We can cross that bridge
if we come to it, Micah. You’re not happy, and you always seem to be getting into some kind of trouble. Your mum and I only want what’s best for you. And it doesn’t seem like this is doing you any good.”
Micah was touched. “I don’t know, Dad. It’s not that long until the end of the school year, and I’ll be out of there anyway, whether it’s the draft or uni.”
“You’re actually thinking about uni?”
His father’s response only helped Micah see just how rough things had been lately. For Micah to even be considering doing something as constructive as uni must seem like a miracle to his father. Whether his marks would be good enough for him to get into uni, however, was another issue entirely.
“I’m trying to keep all my options open.”
“Wow.” Rick still seemed speechless.
“But in regards to this whole school thing… maybe I should just stay still instead of running. I mean, we all know what running away from a problem has done for me in the past.”
Rick looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. Instead he patted Micah on the knee. “You know, you’re really not a bad kid.”
“You weren’t saying that a couple of months ago.”
“In my defence, a couple of months ago you weren’t.”
Micah smiled. “Got me there.”
“Still loved you, though.”
Wow. That was huge. Fathers and sons, well, they usually didn’t use the L word on each other that much, unless one of them was dying.
“I… love you too,” Micah said.
This time his dad looked a little sheepish. “Hard thing to say, huh?”
“The worst,” Micah said, when he really meant the opposite.
“Hell yeah,” Rick agreed, but Micah knew he didn’t mean it either.
Men could be so stupid, himself included. If he ever got a real boyfriend, how would either of them survive it? Micah knew he struggled to share his feelings, and if the other guy was just as bad, what would end up happening? Would they just grunt, eternally, like cavemen across the dinner table?
Then he thought of Declan and Simon. That wasn’t how they seemed to work. Dec could seem taciturn, but Micah had seen the way his face lit up when Simon did something so… Simon-like. And Simon, well, no one could ever shut him up. They obviously could do it. It gave him hope.
