She smiled, took her drink without paying and walked toward the exit sign. This girl was trouble. I knew it right away, but a quick bang-bang and then back to work would do me good.
“Mike, I’m taking my break now,” I yelled over to the other end of the bar.
“Okay, James,” he shouted back.
I walked around from behind the bar and headed for the exit. The door led to the back of the bar. Nobody was out there, but her. She was posted up against the brick wall waiting for me. When I say waiting, I mean the girl had her white panties dangling from one finger. I walked over and grabbed her hand pulling her to an area that was dimly lit. I gently pushed her up against the wall, and kissed her hard. My hand slid up her thigh to a damp area. No panties equaled easy access. I can’t lie. I was as hard as a rock. Her hands were all over me. She reached down and placed one hand on the top button of my jeans and the other over my pants on my bulge. She started to massage and squeeze the area. I really missed sex. This was exactly what I needed.
“James?” I heard a female voice say.
I swung around to see Emily standing there holding something. As soon as she made eye contact with me, she dropped whatever was in her hand and took off walking at a ridiculous pace back into the bar.
“Shit,” I yelled, and pulled away.
“Is that your girlfriend?” the nameless redhead asked.
I ignored her and ran after Emily. She had already walked through the bar and out through the front doors by the time I caught up to her.
“Emily, wait up,” I said, breathing hard.
“What?” She spun around with eyes on fire.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I made you dinner, and figured I would just bring it down to you. I thought about what happened earlier and decided I may have overreacted, but now I know I didn’t.”
I felt like shit. I fucked up on a whole other level. How do I fix this?
“You said you didn’t want anything.” I rubbed my neck in confusion.
“I don’t.”
“Then why are you so angry?”
“I don’t know,” she shouted hard.
I exhaled and shook my head.
“What do you want me to do here, Emily? Because I’m lost.”
“Go back to work. There is a redheaded whore over there waiting for you, right?” she said with disgust.
I turned to see the bar girl standing out front looking at me. Ugh. Son of a bitch. I turned back around to notice that Emily was already in her car. The engine started up and she squealed out.
“Fuck!” I yelled.
I walked back toward the bar, and from the corner of my eye I could see the red headed girl eyeing me.
“Are we going to finish what we started or what?”
“Get the fuck away from me!” I yelled. It was my fault. I took her up on her offer, but yet I was blaming her for the cluster fuck of a night.
“Well fuck you too,” she yelled back.
I went back to work, but all I could think about was Emily’s face. The sadness I saw in her eyes and the angry tone in her voice. It stuck in my head all night. Talk about bad timing. She saw it all. She witnessed me making out with that bar rat. Was it jealousy? It seemed like it to me. Emily was sending mixed messages and broken signals. I didn’t need to be dealing with this. I was trying to get my life back on track. This was absurd.
At the end of my shift I said goodbye to Mike, and prepared for a long walk back to Emily’s. I contemplated using my tips for a hotel, but I needed to save money. I’ll just go over there, and we could talk rationally about what happened tonight like two adults. I thought about what I would say the whole walk there. I had to keep asking myself why it mattered though. I knocked on the door, because technically I didn’t live there, nor did I have a key. She swung open the door and looked at me.
“Can I still stay here, or are you that pissed off at me?”
She moved to the side which signaled I could come in. She closed the door and folded her arms across her chest.
“Can we talk about this?” I leaned my head to the side.
“Go ahead.” I watched her lips pucker up.
“Why are you mad? You said this was a business arrangement. I stay, I pay. Nothing more.”
She stared at me in silence. The anger from her face vanished, as I waited for a response.
“I’m not mad. I’m fine.” She quickly ran her fingers through her hair.
“Liar,” I replied. “It’s written all over your face. Just be honest. Tell me that seeing me kiss that other woman made you angry. Tell me you might like me and you have no idea why, since we know nothing about one another. Tell me you’re scared of me hurting you and that it’s easier for you to just say no, then to let yourself try to be with someone. Say anything else, but don’t stand there and lie to me.”
She cleared her throat and turned around giving me her back. I walked closer. She turned around when she felt my hand touch her waist.
“Did you sleep with her?” she asked.
“No,” I answered quickly.
“Goodnight, James. I’m going to bed.” She gently pushed my hand off of her and tried to walk away. I wasn’t letting her off that easy. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me.
“Tell me,” I demanded.
“I can’t do this. This is ridiculous. This whole situation is beyond me.”
“I’m waiting.”
“Keep on waiting. There is nothing to be said,” she pulled back, and walked off.
I flopped down on the couch and closed my eyes. What the hell was I doing? This girl was driving me insane. Was it weird to feel this way about a girl you don’t know? I needed to pull my shit together. This was not like me at all. I stood up, walked over to the kitchen and made myself a bowl of cereal. I sat back down and flipped on the television while I devoured my bowl of soggy Cheerios. It wasn’t long after, that I passed out in the upright position. When I woke up I saw a blanket thrown across me, the T.V. was off, and my shoes were no longer on my feet. Emily must have come out, and done this.
I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the clock on the wall. Shit. I had to go sign up and check into this substance abuse education class. Another perk of getting out of jail. I didn’t do drugs. I never did, but thanks to Zach, I served time for drugs that weren’t mine. I now have to check in with an officer frequently and do a piss test, and to add to it all, I got to go to a lovely court appointed drug education class. Fuck my life.
I jumped up and off the couch to search for that big, black, bag of clothes that belonged to Emily’s brother. I needed a shower and I needed one bad. I knocked on Emily’s door, but no answer. I knocked again and nothing.
“Emily, you in there? Do you have that bag of your brother’s clothes?”
She didn’t respond, so I turned the doorknob and peeked inside. Her bed was made and she was nowhere to be seen. I walked in and looked around. I could see plenty of bottles of perfume on her dresser next to a family picture. I immediately spotted Emily in the photo. She was just a child, but she had the same eyes. I saw her mother, and what had to be her father and brother standing by each other. I looked over in the corner to see a big black bag. That had to be it. I strolled over and looked inside to see a bunch of men’s clothes. I lugged the bag out into the hallway. I didn’t want her to come back, and catch me just standing in her room like some type of weirdo.
I decided to haul the whole bag to the bathroom, so that I could rummage through it for something to wear after my shower. After a nice long, hot one, I sprung out of the tub forgetting about the bag. I tripped right over the damn thing, which caused me to knock over all of her girlie shit that sat on the counter. Things were crashing down on the floor, and falling into the sink. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, before I started to pick up all of her stuff.
“James, you okay?” She yelled into the door. Shit. She’s home.
“Ugh…Um…” I responded, trying to straigh
ten her crap out.
‘James?” she repeated.
“I’m good.”
“It doesn’t sound like it. Open the door,” she demanded.
I cracked open the door a little bit, and then a little more.
“I tripped and knocked over your makeup, and hair stuff. No biggie.”
She looked me up and down. I was partially wet, just standing there in a towel.
“Can I squeeze by and just grab my hairbrush?” she asked, still checking me out.
I could have moved, but I didn’t want to. She started to slowly work her way around me, all the while never breaking eye contact. I couldn’t help the way I felt, when she looked at me that way. I lightly pushed my body weight forward, backing her up against the sink counter.
“James,” she cried out almost in a whisper.
I remained silent. I lifted her up and placed her on the sink counter, spreading her legs apart with mine. She placed one hand on my chest to stop me. I lifted her hand up and placed the tip of her finger in my mouth, slowly sucking on it. I looked up to see her lip quivering. Her breathing was hard and her hand I was holding, was now shaking. I dropped her hand, and gripped her waist, pulling her body more into me so that I was planted right between her legs. A sharp, breathy moan pushed out of her.
“I can’t. I can’t do this with you,” she said, almost too low to hear.
I remained silent, as I reached up and ran my fingers from her neck, down to her cleavage. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side. It was obvious that she enjoyed every touch she received from me. It was also pretty obvious that I enjoyed every touch I gave her. I leaned in and trailed kisses down from her ear to her neck. I heard her moan again. She placed both of her hands firmly on my chest this time, and lightly pushed me back.
I stayed still, waiting for her next move. I stared at her while she kept her eyes closed. Her chest was taking in and releasing air at an insanely fast pace. I just needed her to drop her hands. Tell me it’s okay. If she dropped her hands she wanted this as bad as I did. I know she did. Why was she holding back? I waited patiently as I stared at her. I wasn’t sure if seconds or minutes passed, but it happened. She opened her eyes and dropped her hands, and that’s all I needed.
I rushed her mouth, crashing my tongue into hers. It was different than when I kissed the girl at the bar. She was passion, that other girl was just lust. We were in the moment, lost in kissing when the sound of the phone rang. I felt her try to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. If that phone didn’t stop ringing I was going to smash it with a damn hammer. I didn’t want this to stop. It felt too good. She felt too good. Finally the phone quit ringing. I felt her hand lower to the towel around my waist. She was slowly trying to pull it off, when that damn phone started ringing again. She pulled back.
“I should get that. It could be important,” she said, wiping her mouth. She ran out of the bathroom.
I nodded, and stood there with blue balls that felt the size of watermelons. I wanted her so bad. If I didn’t have to get to this class soon, masturbation would be an option at this point. I sighed and grabbed my dick. “Calm down, boy. It’s not happening,” I muttered. If kissing her caused that much of a spark inside me, I could just imagine what the sex would feel like. I closed the door and dug into that big bag of clothes. I threw on a white tee, some blue jeans and a pair of brown construction boots I found. To my surprise everything actually fit. I wasn’t ready for what was about to happen when I came out. I slowly walked by her room to catch her throwing stuff in a bag. She paced back and forth and frantically grabbed things from different areas of the room.
“What’s going on? Going somewhere?” I asked, confused.
“It’s my mom. She’s getting worse. I’m headed down to Mexico, now.”
I could see the worry in her eyes. She was weeping as she slammed clothes into her bag.
“Do you need help? What can I do?”
“Just stay here and watch the place, would you.” She paused. “I can’t believe I trust you enough to say that. I don’t even care right now, anyways. The whole place could get robbed, I wouldn’t even care.”
She was shaking as she gathered the rest of her belongings. She reached over and accidently knocked over a vase. The glass shattered. The water splashed everywhere and the flowers broke apart as they hit the floor.
“Son of a bitch,” she yelled. She grabbed a trashcan and just started tossing pieces of it all inside. She looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown. She was moving fast, crying and I just stood there and took it all in.
“Emily?”
“What?” she barked out.
“Do you need money to get down there?” I pulled a chunk of cash out of my pocket from last night’s tips. I didn’t know what else to do. This seemed to be the best help I could give her.
She stopped moving and quickly stood up. She walked over and placed her hand over mine, and shook her head. She smiled, but it wasn’t a happy one. It was the type of smile that had a lesson behind it. I suddenly regretted offering her the cash.
“James King, what is it with you and your lack of love for money?” She paused. “Don’t answer that. I have a better idea. I don’t think you should stay here anymore. This life is not for you. Matter of fact take your money back.” She handed me the money I gave her for rent. “Why don’t you just go home, to your wealthy family, in your wealthy home where you belong?”
Her words cut like a knife. Go back home where I belong? Did she not get a taste of what it is like there for me? I remained silent. She grabbed her bags and rushed by me. I slowly turned and followed her out.
She opened the door and cameras started flashing. People were bobbing their heads to peek inside.
“Mr. King. Mr. King. Tell me how it feels to be released.”
“Why are you not staying at the King Estate?”
“Are you and Emily Monroe an item?”
“Is it true that Victoria King has cut you off?”
“Rumor has it that you blew all your money on drugs at a strip club?”
The questions were being fired off like cannons. Emily turned and gave me a look that only a pissed off woman could give. This was the worst possible time for the media to show up. She moved forward and muscled her way through the people as they snapped picture after picture of her.
“No comment, guys. Please be respectful and give Ms. Monroe privacy,” I shouted.
I watched her get into her car and peel off. I closed the door and peeked outside through a window. The street was packed with desperate photographers. I had to go out there eventually. I grabbed all my things, looked around one last time and left. I wouldn’t be coming back to this place, and a part of me hated that. Emily wanted me gone. I wasn’t about to stay where I wasn’t welcomed. This was a temporary solution anyways. The best thing I could do for her was to leave. I wouldn’t go back to my mother’s, but I’d leave. In her mind I was probably a distraction, and I understood that. I got it. One day she was living her life and the next day she had a man in her house making moves on her. I couldn’t help it though. There was this weird chemistry between us, and I liked it, but she had shit to deal with. Her mother was dying.
I walked out, locked the door from the inside and closed it. Flashes went off and voices yelled from all around me.
“What do you think your mother will say about you dating Ms. Monroe?”
“James, what did they feed you in prison?”
“Are you broke, James?”
The questions just kept coming, and coming. I ignored them. I politely made my way through the crowd and walked down the street. The farther I walked the less cameras followed me. It was a long haul to the bus stop, and a more awkward one as I stood there waiting for the bus to come. A few cameras were still snapping pictures. The questions had stopped already, but that didn’t make the situation any more comfortable. The people around me who were also waiting, stared at me in wonder. I know what they were thinking, and it wo
uld be a matter of time before one of them asked who I was.
“Hey, you somebody famous or something?” a man in a bright orange coat asked me.
“Nope,” I replied.
“What’s with the cameras, then?” He looked around.
“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me. Weird, right?”
The man looked away. I wasn’t lying to him. I wasn’t famous. I didn’t do anything of importance in my life. I was just born into a name that represented a place that represented money. That’s all. I looked down to see the bus coming. Thank god. I’ve never wanted to jump on public transportation more in my life. I hopped on and immediately I noticed people looking out the window to see what all the commotion was about. I hurried to a seat and sat down. I looked over to see a bag next to me. Nobody was there, just a white bag. I asked the people around me if it belonged to them. Everybody shook their head. I opened the bag and looked inside. It was a brand new black, baseball hat. The tag was still attached. The receipt laid on the side of the bag next to a used iPod. I sat it on my lap and looked around. I guess I owned a new hat and iPod. Cool. It was sad that this was the only highlight of my day, but I’d take my blessings as they came. I pulled out the MP3 player, popped in the ear buds and pressed play. I chuckled when I heard a familiar rap song from back in the day. I quietly mouthed the lyrics to the song Today was a Good Day by Ice Cube. I was nodding my head to the beat for a few minutes when I looked up to notice a little girl smiling at me. She put her hand up to her mouth and started giggling. I waved back and she turned and buried her face into her mother’s arm. Every now and then she would sneak a peek at me. Kids loved me. I didn’t know why, but they just did.
The bus screeched as it came to a halt. I looked out the window to notice this was my stop. I grabbed my new hat and headed for the exit. I had already snapped tags off, threw away trash and tossed on the new cap by the time I reached my destination. The sign above me read Alcohol and Substance Abuse Center. My insides cringed. I couldn’t believe I had to attend these classes. I walked in, and up to the counter. The middle aged woman with black hair and rimmed glasses looked at me and smiled.
The Silver Lining Page 5
