“You hungry? I could really go for some ice cream.” I smiled, and stood up. She followed.
“Yeah. That actually sounds really good. I could go for some of that too, but do we have to walk through those bushes again?”
I nodded as I grabbed her hand. She wrinkled her face at me. We took one last look around before we decided to conquer the brutal branches from hell. We hurried through as we hit the trail, so it was faster getting out than it was going in. We made it out alive with minimal scratches. I called them war scars from the battlefield, which made her laugh.
It was a silent walk back to my car, and that silence told me that the wheels in her head were turning. I placed my seatbelt on as I looked at her. She was sitting there in deep thought, fiddling with her thumbs.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things weird back there. I was just playing along with the whole pretend thing.”
“There is no reason to apologize. I’m not even thinking about it.” I shook my head.
“I saw your face when I said it, and then all of a sudden the energy changed between us.”
I grabbed her chin gently and turned her head toward me, so that I had her full attention.
“Emily, just shut up and enjoy yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong.”
“I don’t want you to think—”
“I don’t think anything,” I said, as I released my hand from her and started up the car.
She exhaled long and hard as if something serious was wrong. As if loving me would be a crime. Maybe I was just tripping. I had to remember slow and steady was the way to Emily’s heart. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She leaned over and put her hand in mine. I picked her hand up and kissed the back of it, before putting the car into motion.
“What’s your favorite ice cream?” I asked.
“Bubble Gum.”
I quickly glanced at her and then back to the road.
“Seriously? Not chocolate. Not vanilla, but bubble gum? That’s not very grown up of you.” I smirked.
“Shut up. It’s my favorite. What’s yours, smartass?”
“Mint chocolate chip.”
The car pulled to a slow stop for a red light. I looked over at her and knitted my eyebrows together.
“You really like the ice cream with the little cold, hard gums inside? I would have never guessed. You look more like a rocky road type girl.”
“What does a rocky road type girl even look like?”
I waved my hand in her direction. “This.” We both started laughing.
The light finally turned green, so I pressed the accelerator down, giving the car some gas. The front wheels barely hit the middle of the intersection before something terrible happened. It was felt before it was even seen. A pickup truck slammed into Emily’s side. The car spun around a few times before it flipped over. The next thing I knew, a man was shouting to me from outside the car. I could feel all of the blood rushing to my head so I knew I was upside down. I figured I may have blacked out for a minute, but I wasn’t sure.
“Mr. you okay? Can you hear me?”
Suddenly I could hear several voices talking.
“I think they are hurt really badly!” a female said.
“I just called 911,” another voice yelled.
I struggled back and forth with my vision for a while, just barely being able to open my eyelids. Things would come in and out of focus. It was no use, so I closed my eyes again. I could now taste a metallic flavor on my tongue. Blood was dripping down part of my face into my mouth. The blood reminded me I was still alive. It was enough to make me fight through. I opened my eyes slow and easy. It was just a squint at first, and as my vision came through, I opened them wider and wider.
“He’s awake,” someone yelled.
“Stay still, okay? Help is coming,” a male said.
Now that I was awake, staying still was not an option. I fought to turn my neck to the right. I had to see her. Fuck the pain. Fuck the excruciating pain it took to twist my neck that much. I had to know if she was okay. Shit! She was slumped forward, which killed me. My heart broke a thousand times looking at her like that. Was she dead? God, please, no. I tried to speak, but only a whisper came out.
“Emily” I tried again. “Emily.” I was barely audible this time. Instead air choked its way out.
I could hear the sound of sirens approaching, and then all of a sudden the car was surrounded by paramedics. They were talking to me and trying to comfort me, but all I could think about was her. Was she alive? If so, was she hurt badly? I didn’t even care about my injuries. I needed to know if Emily was okay. God, take me instead of her, please.
There was movement, and lights, and voices, and panic. Panic on my end. I couldn’t breathe. Thoughts of her being dead made my chest hurt. I was on a stretcher within moments, tightly bound in restraints. Paramedics had placed a neck cast on me and then strapped an oxygen mask around my face.
“It’s going to be alright, buddy. Just hang in there, okay,” the male paramedic said.
As nice as he was, I wanted to shout at him, but I couldn’t. He had no idea if anything would be alright. I groaned in pain. Fuck! This is all my fault. I should have let her go look for work, instead of persuading her to let me take her out on a date. I was selfish. I wanted to have more time with her, and because of me, she was slumped over like a rag doll in my car, possibly dead. I couldn’t get that picture out of my head. I groaned as loud as I could. I could feel my face heating up. Tears streamed down my cheek.
I was now being put in the back of an ambulance. “I’m going to give you something for the pain.” The guy gently patted my chest and that’s the last thing I remembered before coming to.
I awoke to sound of my own heartbeat coming from a machine. Beep. Beep. Beep. It was the lights I noticed first. Bright ass florescent lights. They made me want to pull my own eyes out. My head throbbed taking in what I could. I squinted, as I looked down at the several wires that were on me. They connected to multiple monitors that set off a variety of noises that irritated the shit out of me. I let my eyes fall over to the side of the bed, noticing an I.V. stuck in my free hand. I felt the sensation of something hard and stiff wrapped around my other arm, but a white sheet was draped across that shoulder. Anxiety took over. I felt overwhelmed with all my senses waking up. I exhaled long and hard.
“Sweetheart, you need to relax. You were in an accident, but everything is fine.”
I slowly turned my head toward the sound. My first thought was that I had died and went to hell, because I just heard my mother’s voice. She was sitting on a chair in the corner, reading a magazine like nothing. She put the magazine down and ran her hands along her hair.
“On the other hand that idiot who plowed into you, walked out of that accident without a scratch. The moron was drunker than a skunk. Police arrested him. I signed some papers on your behalf, which they accepted. They still want to talk with you. I told them a phone statement would suffice.
“Where is Emily?” I moaned out.
My mother stood up and walked over to the door. She peeked her head out to the nurse’s station. “He’s awake.” She walked back over to me. “Good to see you too, James.”
I frowned. She was the last person I wanted to see.
“Emily?” I moaned out again. “You tell me now!” I shouted this time.
“Mr. King, calm down,” the Doctor said, as he entered.
“No. You calm down. Where is Emily?”
I ripped the needle out of my arm and tossed it out of sight. As painful as it was, I sat up. God, it hurt. I didn’t care. My body was already on a mission. I would tear this place up to find her.
“Mr. King. You need to relax. This is not good for your body,” the Doctor warned.
“Emily, now!” I said, as I gave it all I could. I pushed all my weight up thinking I could just jump out of bed, but instead I collapsed to the floor. My face hit the cold tile, because I couldn’t push my other hand out. That’s whe
n I noticed the cast wrapped around my right arm. How did I not notice this a few minutes ago? Son of a bitch! I’m like a cripple now. Look at me. I was injured more than I thought I was. It was time to take notice. I pulled myself into a fetal position and glanced down to see a cast on my right leg. I laid my head back against the tile.
The Doctor stood over me and looked down. “I was just about to tell you she’s alive. Now, can we get you back in bed?”
I nodded. I was relieved. My soul felt at ease when he said the word alive. The Doctor motioned for a few nurses to help him. The three of them carefully pulled me up and placed me back into the bed. One nurse started replacing all of the wires I ripped off. The other nurse pulled out a clean needle and placed it back into my arm. I scowled at both of them as they finished. The Doctor waited for the nurses to leave.
“Look, I could get into serious trouble for divulging patient information, but I have known your mother for a very long time. What I say stays here.”
I nodded.
“Emily suffered a broken arm and a fractured rib. She had a little swelling in her head, as well as a few minor cuts and bruises, but she’s responding okay. There is something I wanted to talk to you about. Your mother told me, Emily, is your girlfriend, correct?”
“Yeah. I guess you could say that.” I settled back against the hospital bed.
“When we ran an x-ray, it showed that she is pregnant? Maybe just several weeks.”
“Pregnant?” I had to remind myself to breathe. “Wow.”
“So you didn’t know?” The doctor seemed surprised.
“No. Is the baby…dead? Wait. You said is pregnant.”
“The baby is fine at the moment. We are keeping a close eye on both of them.”
“Thank God.” I paused and held my chest. “I can’t believe it. A baby.”
“Honey, it will be fine. I’ll talk to her when she wakes up. Consider it taken care of.”
I thought about Nikki, and how my mother must have convinced her to get an abortion. She probably paid for it too. She probably pushed her into the arms of Zach for all I know.
“No!” I yelled. “You will stay away from Emily and you will stay away from my baby.”
“James, how do you even know that it’s yours? She’s a low income girl. They take men to bed for a cheap steak and a knock off purse. You’re not the only one, dear. It could be anyone’s baby.”
“Get out. Get out of this room now!” I yelled so hard, sharp jolts of pain struck my rib. I wanted her out of my room, and out of my life. I refused to hear her talk about Emily that way. I could have screamed out because we didn’t use a condom, but that was none of her business and I didn’t feel the need to explain anything about our relationship to her. I wished I could just snap my fingers and make her disappear.
“Fine, but when you find out that it’s not yours, I’ll be the first one to say I told you so.”
“Get out!” I yelled. The Doctor looked at my mother who grabbed her purse and exited the room.
“James, you broke your arm, your leg is broken, and you have bruising on your chest from the steering wheel. There are six stitches on the back of your head, and a few above your eyebrow. The airbag in the car went off on the passenger’s side, but not yours. The pain is going to get worse before it gets better. You need to remain calm. You need to relax and let your body heal itself.”
I let my head fall gently against the pillow. I closed my eyes and exhaled.
“This is a lot to spring on you, I know. These are delicate times.”
“Man, I am alive. My girlfriend is alive. My baby is alive. As long as you keep us all in that condition, then we don’t have an issue. If she or the baby doesn’t survive, I am coming for you Dr.—” I partially sat up, strained my neck and squinted my eyes to see his name badge. “Gravosky.” I kept my eyes targeting on the guy. I was really just pissed at my mother not him, but in all honesty, I would kill him if something happened to Emily or the baby.
He nodded and gave me a weak smile. He was uncomfortable with my words, and he let me know it by his facial expression, by his body language and by the way he left the room. I sat there for a few minutes just letting the storm settle down that was raging inside of me.
“Nurse!” I yelled.
It was a minute before a short, black woman came dressed in blue scrubs. She placed her hand on her hip and stared at me.
“Yes?”
“Take me to see, Emily Monroe, please.” Silence. “Or I could just crawl down there.”
“Mr. King, are you anything like your mother?” She raised both her eyebrows.
“No. Hell no.”
“Good,” she said, as she turned to leave the room.
“Take me now!” I demanded. That clearly got her attention, because she froze.
“You sound just like your mother to me,” she mumbled, as she swung around to look at me.
“Jesus Christ.” I slammed my hand down on the bed.
“Boy, don’t you take the Lord’s name in vain. Do you think you are the only one who is hurt in this hospital? Do you think you are the only one who wants something done, now?”
This shit was not happening to me. Of all the nurses I got this one. Who did she think she was? I held my ribs and sat up straight. I started to rip cords off of me. I told myself I didn’t need her. She appeared flustered as she ran over to my bedside.
“Boy, what in the hell are you doing? Lay your stubborn ass back down now.”
I stopped struggling and looked up at her in shock. I was pretty sure nurses were supposed to be professional, and the term ‘ass’ was not to be used for a patient. Not that I really gave a shit. I just wanted to go see Emily. She could cuss all damn day if it made her just a little more tolerable.
“I will crawl down that damn hallway with or without you. If you don’t want to help me then move the fuck out of my way.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She pushed up her sleeves and then crossed her arms. Shit. This was the woman who was going to be caring for me? I didn’t want her killing me in my sleep.
“I’m sorry.” I paused. “That was really rude. I just want to see her. I don’t care if she is sleeping. I just need to see her, please.”
The nurse buried her eyes into me. There was this really weird moment that happened next, where no one said anything. I lifted my chin up at her, hoping she would at least blink.
“Look, I like her. I care for her. I just need to see the girl once.”
The nurse remained silent. She hadn’t moved at all from her stance. She was like a brick, that woman.
“Let me explain it this way. Have you ever cared for someone so much you can’t breathe without them?”
The nurse just continued to stare at me.
I thought I was making progress so I kept talking. “That’s how Emily makes me feel. I really, really need to see her. Then you can take me back to this tiny ass room, and I will cooperate. I’m usually not an asshole. I’m just stressed out.”
The nurse still hadn’t budged. She hadn’t even blinked an eye. What was she a robot?
“Say something!” I shouted. “Anything.”
“I’m gonna take you to see her, but not because you shouted. I’m just doing it because, maybe it will help you breathe as you say. Calm your behind down.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Oh, now you want to be all courteous,” she barked.
I looked at her sideways.
“Boy, don’t you cut your eyes at me. I’ll pull those eyes out the damn sockets. Keep playing.”
I remained silent as she removed the remaining wires and needle from my hand. She then left the room for a few minutes, but returned back with a wheelchair.
“Doctor is going to be madder than a dog on steroids if he finds out about this. Come on, Mr. King. Grab a hold of my arm.”
We both lifted together and she moved me from the bed to the wheelchair. The position change shot pain up from my l
ower back to my head. I guess that fall earlier didn’t help. I moaned.
“You good?” she asked.
I grimaced and then slowly nodded. “Just push the damn chair.” I felt so helpless like this. It just pissed me off more.
“Imma push you alright. Maybe down a flight of stairs, if you keep up with that attitude.”
“How close are you from being fired?” I asked.
“Not close enough,” she replied.
I smirked, but I didn’t let her see.
She wheeled me down the hall, and then she made a quick left into a dimly lit room. My heart stopped for a second when I saw her. Bruises marked her face on the right side. Her eye was puffy and swollen. Her arm was in a cast just like mine. I stared in sadness at her and then for some stupid reason I tried to stand, but the nurse pushed me back down.
“Don’t’ be a moron, you can’t walk,” she reminded me. She pushed the wheelchair closer to Emily. I reached out and grabbed her hand. “I’ll leave you two alone for a few minutes and then it’s back to your room.”
I nodded. I took Emily’s hand and brought it up to my mouth and kissed it. Her skin was marked with tiny cuts, from maybe when the glass shattered. It hurt to bend over to do this, but I laid my head on her hand. I tilted my neck up and looked directly at her stomach. I reached one hand out, and placed it on top of her. I imagined that my child was in that exact location.
“James?” I heard her say.
I looked up to see her eyes fluttering. She gripped my hand tighter.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me.”
Her eyes held a glazed over look. She didn’t say anything else. Instead she just closed her eyes again. I ran my thumb back and forth over her hand.
“Emily?” I said, wanting to hear her voice again.
She didn’t respond.
I sat there staring at her for at least five minutes. I stretched my hand out and place it over her belly again.
The nurse walked in and stood over my wheel chair. “Time to go, Mr. King.”
I quickly pulled my hand back. I thought this would satisfy me, but it didn’t. I wanted to stay with her. I wanted to be next to her. She was alone in there. The nurse wheeled me back to the cold, white box I called my room.
The Silver Lining Page 11
