by Anna Scott
"I didn't mean that I think you look thirty-nine. You just seemed reluctant to tell me, so I thought that maybe you were older."
After a long and enjoyable talk, we finished our meals and Reed paid the bill, regardless of my protests to pay my share.
"You ready?"
"Yep," taking his offered hand, I let Reed lead me out of the restaurant and to his truck. He seemed to delight in helping me into the oversized black monster and even lingered with his hands around my waist a little longer than was necessary.
As I peered into his eyes and he into mine, something passed between us. It was something I didn't yet understand - but soon I would.
We drove south for several minutes and I wondered where we were going, but when I asked Reed, he wouldn't tell. A humor glinted in his eyes when he smiled and looked my way. We were stopped at a light and I could see the smirk on his handsome face. When Reed turned his truck into the lot at Lunar Mini Golf, I had to laugh.
"Disappointed?"
Shaking my head, I giggled and reassured, "Not at all, this is perfect." What Reed didn't know was that I was a wiz at miniature golf. He was about to get schooled.
Hand in hand, we walked through to the course. Reed paid for our visit, took our clubs and guided me to the first hole.
"Ladies first."
Lining up my shot, I eyed the hole and got ready to swing. Reed shifted his position and reached up to rub the back of his neck. The movement pulled his black T-shirt tight across his chest. Damn - that was sexy. Was he doing that on purpose? Did he know how good he looked?
Reed was by far the tallest man in the entire place and he was hot. Glancing around, I noticed the other women giving him appreciative looks. He had to know how handsome he was. A man that was as big, strong and flat out good looking as he was should have been arrogant, but Reed wasn't.
Forcing myself to focus on the shot once more, I smacked the ball slightly to the left of center and sent it sailing down the fake grass covered green. The small pink golf ball smacked the concrete side perfectly at the bend and changed course. It was heading right to the hole.
"Are you kidding me?" Reed shouted as the ball dropped with a plunk into the metal cup.
"What?" I asked, pretending innocence.
"Are you a master mini-golfer?"
"No." I tried to reassure, with little success. His thick arms crossed over his massive chest and he watched me skeptically.
"Looks like I've got some stiff competition tonight." He tried to feign annoyance, but I could tell that he was teasing. The corners of his full lips kept tipping up, giving it away.
Reed finished the first hole in only two shots. Since it was a three par hole, I congratulated him on his skill. He rolled his eyes, but laughed. By hole six, I was winning by seven shots, but I knew that the hard ones were coming up.
"Good one," Reed congratulated with a fist bump.
The game was perfect. Regardless of the score, I loved playing with Reed. He was fun and so easy going. We were able to talk and laugh together without uncomfortable silences that would come after sitting across from someone at a table too long or the darkness of the theatre, sharing an experience but not being able to get to know each other.
"Why did you pick golf?" I asked after a few minutes. I'd been thinking about it and wondered if he had a specific reason.
Reed looked at me quizzically for a second, then smiled shyly. "I thought it would be fun. There wasn't anything playing that I was excited to see and I don't know what kind of movies you like anyway. Besides, if we watched a movie, we couldn't talk." He shrugged and looked directly at me. It seemed as if he was watching me, studying me for my reaction. He was nervous.
"Good, it's perfect. I was just curious."
"No one has taken you to play put-put on a date before?"
I had to think for a minute, trying to remember my last date. That sucked. "I don't think so. Not on the first date at least."
"I can't imagine that many guys would play mini-golf with you again after they got spanked once."
"So, you're not going to play with me after this?" I asked laughing.
Reed's eyes widened for a moment with obvious surprise and I had to think about what I just said. "Oh no, that isn't - I didn't mean to sound... I meant golf." I explained quickly. I had lowered my reddened face in mortification and utter embarrassment. He must think I'm some kind of temptress, which couldn't be further from the truth.
Reed cleared his throat and thankfully changed the subject. "Tell me about the cafe."
Smiling up at him in gratitude, I began my tale.
"It wasn't what I planned to do with my life, but I enjoy it. My mamaw started it years ago, when everyone was still on the farm. She canned and baked a lot, like everyone else, but her cakes and pies were so good, some of the single men around started buying them from her."
"That's a great story, do you use the same recipes now?" Reed asked, it was a question I thought showed that he was really listening and interested.
"I do, mostly. We don't have access to some of the fresh ingredients anymore and I don't use so much lard."
"Yeah, my nee nee used a lot of lard, and oleo." Reed's hand flew up to his chest and he mimicked having a heart attack. I couldn't hold my laughter at his antics and I doubled over with it. Sure, people were watching, but I didn't care.
"Right? Oh my stars, I haven't heard the word oleo in years!" I was still laughing and my words were coming out through giggles and hiccups.
Reed watched me for a minute and started laughing too. All of a sudden, standing at the 14th hole at Lunar Miniature Golf outside Plano, Texas, Reed Allen grabbed me and pulled me into his arms in a bear hug. An involuntary squeak escaped my lips, but I reciprocated and wrapped my arms around him too. I was afraid to look up at him, I wanted him to kiss me, but not there for God and everyone to watch. Something brushed across the top of my head. I thought that it might have been his cheek, but I wasn't sure.
Reed was warm, his arms were strong but gentle. It was an odd combination, but I reveled in the feel of him surrounding me. The side of my face rested against his hard chest, but what I noticed was the soft feel of his T-shirt. Reed's scent enveloped me, I had no idea what it was. He wasn't wearing cologne, he smelled like something else, maybe his soap. I didn't know what it was, but I did know the scent was comforting. In Reed's arms, the world dropped away. It was only a moment of total solitude, but the worry for my cousin Missy and her daughter Kelly vanished. The struggles in my own life, the cafe and my night classes, fatigue and everything else were all gone. My mother's constant disappointment, my brother's incessant taunting, all of it. If I could have been honest with myself, I would have admitted that I never wanted him to let me go. Unfortunately, he released me after a few seconds. My face was flushed, so I ducked my head and got back to the game.
We finished the game, Reed returned our clubs to the window and returned to me. He hardly scowled at all when he looked down at the scorecard again. I had beat him - by a lot. He was a good sport about it at least, which was a lot more than I could say about some of the other guys I had dated in the past.
Reed drove us to an ice cream parlor and I cringed, wondering if I could get out of ordering anything without seeming rude. My lactose issues drove me crazy. There were so many things that had started to bother me in the past couple of years, and dairy was my nemesis.
"They have Italian ice here. I thought you might like to try it." He assured, did he know? He must have, but I hadn't told him.
"What?"
"Italian ice, they make it from scratch here. It's dairy free."
Looking at him quizzically, he stood beside the truck, waiting for me to get down and with my long and confused silence, he began to look uncomfortable.
Shaking my head, I apologized, "Sorry, it's just - how did you know?"
"You ordered your vegetables with no butter and fries instead of a baked potato at dinner." He answered matter of factly.
"And you figured it out from that?"
Shrugging, he explained, "Well, it is my job to be observant. My mama can't have dairy either."
A smile spread across my face in appreciation. He wasn't telling me how, if I just took some vitamins that the issues would go away like one guy I went out with had done. He wasn't belittling me or acting annoyed. He saw my difficulty, accepted it and found a way to work around it.
"Thank you, this is perfect." I told him as he took my hand and lead me inside.
I ordered a scoop of the fresh dewberry and one of strawberry. The sweet smell in the shop reminded me so much of the bakery at that time of year. All the fresh berries and spring fruits littered the counter tops giving off a wonderful aroma of the season. Reed ordered four scoops, lemon, raspberry, blueberry, and mango. Sitting at a small bistro table near the front window, we sat and enjoyed our sweet, fresh desserts.
We laughed some more, as Reed told a tale of a case he worked years before. They went to the home of a known black market gun dealer with a search warrant, but before they could get to the front door, it flew open and a naked woman ran screaming past them. Apparently, the woman thought they were there to take her to jail for drugs. She was very high and freaking out, thinking that the feds were there to take her in for smoking a joint. I laughed harder than I could ever remember laughing before. Being with Reed was so easy, so comfortable it was as if I'd known him all my life.
When Reed pulled up in front of my house, I noticed that he left his truck running when he got down and walked around to help me out. I was disappointed that the date was over, but knew that I wasn't ready to invite him inside that late at night. I was relieved that he wasn't assuming that he was entitled to more because he bought me dinner.
I was so nervous about what was about to happen, that when he grabbed my hand one last time and walked me to my door, I worried that he would notice my trembling.
"I had a really nice time, thank you." I told him as we arrived on my front porch. I took the first two steps up when I realized that he wasn't following me. Okay - this was where we would, what? Say goodnight?
"I did too. It was great. Can I call you?" He asked.
A little confused at his strange behavior, I nodded and waited. He didn't move. I waited some more. He didn't move. Apparently, he wasn't going to say anything else, he wasn't going to kiss me. I was flooded with disappointment, even if I wouldn't admit it.
"Well, I guess I'd better get inside." I gestured behind me to the door, my voice sounding unsure even to my own ears.
"Yeah, um, yeah, okay. I'll call you, okay?"
"Uh huh, sure." I stuttered, backing up a step. "Good night." I waived behind me as I turned to unlock my door. I slipped inside and shut it behind me. After turning the deadbolt, I slumped back against the door. What had gone wrong? Had I totally misread that date? Sure, it had been a long time since I had been out on one, but I thought that date was really good. I guessed I must have been the only one. Pushing away from the door, I stepped to the window and watched him through the lace curtains.
It looked like when he turned to open the door of his truck that he stopped and looked up at the house again. I couldn't be sure, it was dark and the curtains stopped me from seeing him clearly. I imagined that he was looking for me, that he was regretting walking away from me like he did. He hadn't kissed me. He hadn't asked me out for another date. What the heck had gone wrong?
Chapter 3
Present Day
Reed
Jesus, I can't stop the endless loop of memories. My mind is completely fogged over with the happy, the crazy frustration and the gripping fear. I could feel someone clasp my shoulder, but ignore it. My head was bowed, my eyes closed as the myriad of pictures ran through my mind. I prayed more in the past sixteen hours than I ever before in my life.
Months Earlier...
Reed
I stopped at the side of my truck before climbing up and hated myself. God, I'd wanted to kiss her with every part of my being. I wanted to hold her and meld our lips together, but I was too nervous. "Fuck!" I shouted once I was inside the cab with the door firmly closed. I looked up at that front window again, was that, was she? Was that her silhouette? I could almost make out a shadow behind those old curtains that had probably been her mamaw's. What was she thinking? Was she as upset with me as I was?
That had been the absolute best damn date of my entire life. Gillian Young was funny, independent, and sweet. She had an air of innocence that surrounded her, one I hadn't seen in years. I allowed myself one more glance, longing piercing through my heart, before I threw it in drive and pulled away. I wasn't half way down her block when I stopped in the middle of the deserted street. What the hell was I doing?
Screw it! Putting the truck in reverse, I turned around and stopped across the narrow street from Gilli's house. I flung the door open and jumped down. My feet barely hit the pavement when I took off running, across the street, through the yard and jumped up onto the porch. When my feet hit the deck, the front door was flung open and Gilli stood there, eyes wide with a mixture of shock and excitement.
Without a single word between us, I made it to her, cradled the back of her neck and bent to place my lips on hers. The second her arms flew up and around my back, I wrapped my free hand around her and lifted her. Taking a couple of steps just inside the door, I pressed her up against the wall. Gillian opened her mouth to me and my tongue dipped inside. We tasted and licked, panted and savored the feel of the other. After minutes that felt like decades, I pulled back and looked hungrily into her eyes. Hers were shy and aroused.
"I wanted to say goodnight properly," I explained, though she didn't seem to mind.
"I'm glad."
"Tomorrow?"
"Okay."
"I'm going to call you in the morning - early."
Gilli smiled wide and nodded.
Stepping away from her was the single most difficult thing I'd ever done, but I knew I didn't have a choice. If I stayed even a minute longer, I would beg her to do more than I thought either of us was ready for.
Laying in my bed alone - save for Blazer, my constant bed companion, I couldn't find sleep. Gilli's beautiful face and the sound of her laugh occupied my every thought. There were so many times that night that I wanted to kiss her, that I wanted to claim her in a way that she would know she was mine. Since it was our first official date, I was able to hold it back but just barely. So far there wasn't anything about Gillian Young that I didn't like. We could laugh, we could be quiet and we could talk about the real shit in life. I wondered if she would be cool with my job. I'd been through that shit before and the thought of Gilli dumping my sorry ass like my ex had done freaked me way the hell out.
I hadn't been an ATF agent then, though, I was a lowly Marine, working my ass off. Sandy Knight was my high school sweetheart. She was my first and I was hers. When I graduated, she still had one year to go. She promised me that she would wait for me. She was there, with my mama the day I graduated from basic and there the day one year later, when I left on my first deployment. We promised each other forever. I had even given her a little piece of shit ring, the only thing I could afford at the time. At the age of nineteen, I left secure in the knowledge that my girl was at home waiting for me to come back.
Sandy and I had made the decision together, agreeing that I would do four years in the Marine Corps, then would come home and we would have our forever. I was overseas for three months when the letter came. I wasn't the first guy to get one and I sure as fuck wasn't the last. She told me that she didn't love me anymore. Sandy explained that she couldn't wait and had fallen in love with someone else. She had gone to see my mama and had given her the ring back. Did she really think I wanted it? What was I going to do with it? Maybe she thought I would hold on to it to remind myself of her deceit.
I hadn't thought about that time in years. Sandy had married the guy she always promised was just a good friend only a month after she mailed that Dear John
letter. I knew they moved to Austin before I got back and I never heard from her again. I found out once I returned that Sandy and the asshole had been seen around town a lot, even when I was just away at basic. I had to assume that there had been more between them than I knew.
Lying in that bed, thinking about Gillian, I wanted to thank Sandy. For years, I thought of her as the one I hadn't been enough for. Thankfully, I found clarity and understanding that Sandy hadn't been my one. The minute I saw Gillian, I knew that Sandy was too immature for me. She needed all the attention all the time. Sandy was more upset about what she would do while I was gone fighting a war than about my safety.
I remembered something my mama had told me about true love. "You'll know true love when you feel a gut wrenching ache in your belly at the thought of being away from her and you'll know she feels the same when her focus is on you. Two people have to give everything of themselves for the other to make a marriage go the distance." Sandy wasn't that girl and I didn't know if she ever grew into that. Maybe she found that with the asshole.
I could see Gilli in the person my mother described. She was quiet but had an almost imperceptible strength just below the surface. I hadn't heard her say one selfish thing - ever. The conversations I overheard about her cousin, she was worried about the little girl and about her family. When I watched her comforting Aurora after her brother Nolan killed himself over a year before, she never talked about herself or her own feelings. She focused on Aurora completely. From what I had witnessed, Gilli was generous, often bringing treats to the girls at the store. She seemed to be good to her employees, working right along side them. Thanks to my morning runs, I knew that she got to the cafe early in the morning everyday to get the wonderful pastries ready for the day.
The one question I had was if she would be able to put up with the irregularities in my schedule. My hours changed all the time. I had no set schedule, no regular off days. It depended on whatever was going on at the time. I was often off on weekends, but just as often would work seven days straight. Unfortunately, it was a subject that would come to the surface sooner than later.
