by Anna Scott
"You have a dog?"
"I do, Blazer. Come on, you can meet him."
She clapped eagerly and smiled when I opened her door and helped her down. Her hand in mine once more, I walked with her up to my house and watched her face closely. I wanted to see her reaction to my place. It wasn't big or fancy, but I was proud of it.
"You're not far from me." I wasn't, just under a mile away, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I didn't need to freak her out with just how much I noticed about her.
"Down," I commanded as Blazer bounded toward us. He dropped to his belly, but wiggled and wagged his enthusiasm. I had originally trained him to sit when I opened the door, but changed it to down when I noticed him struggling to sit comfortably.
"May I?"
"Go for it, but be prepared, he's never met a woman he doesn't like." Gillian raised a brow at me, her skeptical look had me questioning what I just said. "Not me, the dog. I meet plenty of women I don't like, but I try to limit the crazy felons he meets."
"Nice out."
Within seconds, Gillian was sitting on the floor, both hands furiously petting my dog. Blazer was looking between her and me, practically begging to be released from his "down" command.
"Release," I finally allowed. As soon as I did, Blazer rolled over and exposed his belly to Gillian. She continued to rub and pet him. Blazer was so happy with her attentions that his tongue lulled out to one side of his mouth.
"He's so sweet. Irish Setter?"
I expected her to finish petting him after a few minutes and get off the floor, apparently, I was wrong, she didn't tire of it, she just stood up so she could play with him more easily. I herded them both to the backyard and watched as woman and dog became the best of friends. If I couldn't pull this thing together with Gillian, I knew that Blazer would win her over me.
"How are you not tired?" She asked, as we sat in the cushioned patio chairs, Blazer asleep on her feet.
"No idea, I guess I'm used to it." Honestly, I was tired, but wanted to spend time with Gillian too much to take a nap. If she wanted to nap with me - yeah, needed to stop that train of thought.
We enjoyed tall glasses of iced tea, the warm spring day and the soothing sounds of a quiet Sunday. Far too soon, Gillian reluctantly told me that she needed to get home. I was disappointed, but knew that I needed to get some sleep. God forbid, I get called in for work again. With only an hour or so of sleep in over twenty-four hours, I'd be a worthless shit.
Standing on Gilli's front porch, I cradled her cheek in my palm and leaned in to kiss her soft lips. It wasn't nearly as passionate as the kiss from the night before, but it was great. Reluctantly, I pulled back and turned to walk to my truck. Just before she closed the door, I spun around and asked, "Dinner later?"
Gillian laughed and shook her head, but agreed. Was I a little crazy? Maybe. Obsessed? Maybe that too, but I was going to spend as much time with her as I could.
The next several weeks went just like that. I stopped into the cafe almost everyday, trying to get there after the morning rush and before lunchtime. Most days she would take a break from working and sit with me at a table in the front. We had dinner together a few times too. Every single minute we spent together, my feelings for her grew. I never wanted to part from her at the end of our evenings and couldn't wait to see her again.
One Saturday a few weeks after our first date, I convinced her to go to dinner with me and everyone else. It was something we tried to do about once a month. As our group grew larger and closer over the past couple of years, we made more of an effort to strengthen those bonds.
Gilli was nervous, I knew that she was shy and more comfortable in small groups, but I was excited to have her on my arm as we walked into La Bella Donna. The long table was set and partially occupied with our friends when we arrived. I chose our seats at one end, hoping that would give Gillian a little bit of solace from the craziness.
Luke and Aurora were seated across from us; they had married just the year before. Aurora's pregnant belly was getting big for her thin frame; she was obviously becoming rather uncomfortable. She kept shifting in her seat and pressing her hand down on her stomach. Aurora and I were really good friends, of everyone in the group, I was probably closest to her. My friends from high school were still around the area, but when I was deployed, those friendships slipped away.
The relationships I made while in the Marine Corps stuck - or most of them. There are guys you serve with under the worst of conditions that you know will always be in your life. That's how I felt about Luke, Jake, Trent and Gavin. I felt that way about a few others too, but unfortunately, we lost them to sniper fire, road side bombs, assorted ambushes and PTSD.
PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder, as the shrinks called it, was a bitch. I dealt with my fair share of it myself after some of the bloodier battles. There were things we saw over there that wouldn't ever leave us, not ever. I killed men, combatants, snipers. I could remember each and every one - twenty-seven, I killed twenty-seven men. Those were experiences we shared with only our brothers in arms, on the front lines that cemented those bonds.
Each and every time after we returned to camp, I prayed for forgiveness, I prayed for the souls of those men and for God to understand. I had a rosary that had been left to me by my papaw. The beads were black and gray and so worn the small round stones had worn in places where his fingers had once worked them. I carried that string of beads with me and remembered seeing him kneel next to his bed when I was young. He was old but strong, a large man even in his seventies he had towered over the ranch hands. The way he lowered himself, staying on his knees for a long time, beseeching his maker, humbling himself had touched me greatly. I wasn't nearly the man my papaw had been, no where near as strong in character or stubbornness. His quiet strength was admirable, enviable, something I strove to carry on.
When Aurora's brother Nolan was hurt, I still had seven months left of my deployment. Nolan and I were close, though not as close as he and Luke were. Nolan was that guy - the guy you could talk to. He was the guy who would take your shit, turn it around and give it back to you in another way and you could see it in a new light. Nolan had been next to me when the Dear John letter came from Sandy. He was there with me as I tried to deal with her betrayal and the resulting aftermath of my temporary breakdown. Nolan was with me through the first bottle of whiskey and then the second. The next morning, he slapped me on the back and reminded me of what I was there to do.
"Don't let that shit fuck with your head. If that's the kind of bitch she is, she would screw up your life sooner or later. Don't give her any more of you than she's already taken."
I remember staring at him through bleary eyes and wanting to punch him in his understanding face. Nolan was older than me by a couple of years and he wasn't nearly as green as I was. I wanted to kick his ass, but I didn't. I took the strength he offered me that day and got it together. In time, I realized just how right he was. Sandy wasn't my girl, she wasn't my one, she wasn't my anything. She was a learning experience and I had eventually hoped for her sake that she would find the happiness she sought with the other guy.
When I finally came home, I went to see Nolan. He wasn't the same man. Pain racked his body, the PT was killing him and the demons in his head were fighting his will to live. I did everything I could to help him, to support him and give back a little of all he had given me. During that time, Aurora and I became friends. Luke wasn't back yet, so I did all I could to be there in his place. Aurora had still lived with her mother back then in their family home. She seemed so much younger then. The changes in her big brother, the man she idolized changed her greatly, then the loss of her mom and finally Nolan made her see the world in a new way. She no longer viewed everything through rose colored glasses, full of rainbows, unicorns and fairies dancing around. Her eyes were opened to the pain of this world, to suffering, to heart ache and loss. She learned what hopelessness truly felt like and she learned to be a completely independent woman.
Sure, things changed for her when she and Luke got together, but it wasn't an easy start for them either. They definitely had a rocky start, mostly because Luke was a moron and Aurora was terrified of another broken heart. Thankfully, they pulled their shit together and seemed to be blissfully happy, married with a baby on the way, but I knew that Luke still pissed her off a fair bit of the time - he was still a moron after all.
"There he is!" I heard one of the women call out. Glancing down the table, I saw that more people had joined us while I'd been lost in my head. Trent and Amber were seated on the other side of Luke. Dawn and Gavin had taken spots next to me, on the opposite side of Gillian. Hope, Jake and Dylan were walking toward us. Amber's squeal was loud. As she jumped up from the table to greet Jake's mini-me, I could clearly see Amber's own baby bump. This mismatched and duct-taped together family was growing fast.
"You okay?" Gillian asked, leaning in to whisper in my ear.
Feeling like shit, I realized that I had been ignoring her for a few minutes. "Yeah, sorry. Got lost in old thoughts I guess." I didn't want to explain, but I wasn't going to lie to her either. She was a smart woman, there was no way I was going to start things off with a lie. I wanted Gilli to come to trust me, so that meant that I had to do the same.
Gillian nodded as if she understood and dropped it. She dropped it? I didn't know any women in my past that would drop a subject so easily. She apparently got that I didn't want to talk about it, at least not right then, but still. I was impressed. She wasn't only a hard worker, but caring, observant and a great friend. I liked that she was shy, since I could be too. I had dated a couple of outspoken, boisterous women before and it hadn't worked out, our personalities just didn't mesh. I wasn't one that liked to draw attention. My height and general size did that for me enough, I didn't need to add to it with outlandish mannerisms.
About half way through dinner, I felt a slight tug on my shirt and glanced down. Dylan had toddled over to stand between Gillian and me. One of his arms was stretched toward Gillian, but before I could grab him up, Gilli did. She clutched him close to her chest and kissed his forehead.
Glancing up, I noticed that Jake was watching his son with a father's protective eye. Looking back to Gillian, I took in the sight. She was a natural with him. Dylan slapped her cheeks when she puffed them out and she blew a raspberry onto his neck when he pushed them in. He giggled and squirmed with innocent delight as Gillian repeated the action over and over again. Finally, Dylan got tired of their game. His chubby baby hands clasped around Gilli's neck and he laid his sleepy head down on her shoulder. With practiced ease, Gillian adjusted him, cradling him against her and I watched with avid fascination as Dylan held onto her, twirling a lock of her beautifully soft hair around his tiny fingers and fell asleep.
"Here, let me take him," Hope said apologetically, moving to stand.
Gillian didn't answer verbally, but shook her head, a soft smile on her beautiful face. "Eat your dinner, we're fine." Gilli whispered as Hope looked on, she was obviously conflicted, knowing Hope probably felt guilty or something, but she settled back in her seat and ate.
Aurora caught my eye, glancing at Gilli, then back to me with a lifted brow. I rolled my eyes, knowing what she was trying to say. Yeah, I loved it too, looking at Gillian like that but it wasn't time.
Another hour passed as friends talked, joked, finished meals and then dessert. The food was excellent but the company so much better. The entire time, Dylan slept in Gillian's arms. Long ago, I'd pushed away my plate and wrapped an arm around the back of Gillian's chair. I positioned myself in such a way that I would support her arm, the one that was holding up Dylan's little head. Aurora and Amber both smirked at me several times, but I ignored them.
I noticed Jake's look a couple of times too. He'd relaxed a hell of a lot after he and Hope married, then even more when Dylan was born. He was hardly the same man he had been a couple of years before. The hard, angry man was gone, replaced with a still sometimes broody, but happier than hell guy. His wife and son had been just the miracle Jake needed to heal his battered soul. After Jake's best-friend Dylan died in the same ambush where Nolan was injured, Jake changed. He'd always been kind of dark, distant, but he had some nasty shit in his past and he didn't warm up to people easily. He seriously took a turn toward the dark and scary side after Nolan died. We all worried about him following the same path, either purposely or in an idiotic drunken stupor. Thankfully it didn't take long for him to pull himself out of that dark pit. Some of his turn around could certainly be attributed to Hope and her gentle manner and probably more from his fear of losing her.
Hope had been stalked by an abusive ex, it took weeks of intensified vigilance on all our parts before the guy got the better of us all and cornered Hope. She had gone home to quickly pick something up, he had been there, waiting for her. He had beaten her, knocked her out and it was later at the hospital that they found out that she was actually already pregnant with Dylan. From that point on, they were solid.
"We need to head out," Luke announced over the din of conversation. Looking up, I saw that Aurora was yawning. Due to her pregnancy, her body certainly needed more rest, she still had a long way to go, but it was taking its toll on her small frame. Hugs and cheek kisses were exchanged and everyone began to gather their things.
"Let me take this guy home and get him to bed," Jake whispered, leaning in to take Dylan from Gilli's arms.
"Of course," Gillian replied, lifting Dylan up to his father.
"That was real nice, thank you for holding him. I don't think we've eaten a complete dinner together like that since he was born." Jake confessed, gifting Gillian with a rare smile, that was usually reserved only for his family.
"I was happy to. Thank you for letting me enjoy him."
Once Dylan was securely on his father's shoulder, Jake clapped me on the back and turned away to gather his wife.
"You want to come in?" Gillian asked me as we walked to her front door. We'd been dating for a few weeks now, but this was the first time she invited me inside when I brought her home. I was taking things real slow, deliberately so I hadn't pushed it. I had enjoyed the feel of her soft lips on mine many times, but aside from some serious kisses, hand holding and lingering hugs, nothing else had happened between us.
"Sure," I answered, having to clear the nervous lump from my throat. I wondered if something more was about to happen. Thankfully, I had purposely removed the condom I normally kept in my wallet. I knew that if I didn't have it, I wouldn't be able to go too far.
"I have soda and some beer, I think. Can I get you something?"
"I'll take a beer, thanks."
I sat on the couch after she motioned me that way, and when Gilli returned with two frosty glasses in hand, I took one and extended my arm across the back of the couch. She took the hint and sat right next to me, her side pressed up to mine and she laid her head back against my chest. The soft scent of her hair wafted up and filled my nostrils, causing an immediate stirring below my belt.
"Dylan looked good in your arms tonight." It was a leading statement, I knew it, but I kind of wanted to know where she stood on kids and family and all that.
"He's the sweetest. So rambunctious, then he passes straight out. He must be a handful for Hope."
"Probably, he acts just like Jake."
Once our beers were consumed, I set my glass on the table and took hers and placed it there as well. When my back rested against the couch once more. I leaned into Gillian and cupped her face, just before my lips touched hers.
Pressing my mouth firmly to hers, I felt her quick intake of air. Her lips parted and I took advantage. My tongue slipped into her mouth and tasted. She was sweet from the sorbet she ate at dinner. Somehow, I knew that the wonderful taste of her mouth was just her. I thought about licking her in other delectable places and my tongue began to move over her mouth as if I were parting her other lips and delving inside.
Gillian's hands ran over my arms, shoulders an
d back, pressing her chest firmly against mine. She moaned into my mouth and opened deeper. One of my hands was in her hair, the other trailing down to the curve of her hip. It wasn't long before she had climbed up, or I had pulled her up into my lap - I wasn't sure which.
Though she was always graceful, some of her movements were obviously unpracticed and I wondered again at her level of experience. She had to have some experience, she was over twenty for fuck's sake. Maybe it had just been a while.
Somehow, she got my shirt untucked and was feeling the hot skin of my back with her tiny hands. Each caress sent a searing shot of lust straight to my cock. With one hand on her sweet ass, I pulled her in closer and ground my throbbing erection against the seam of her jeans. Even through the two layers of denim separated us, I could feel her heat. On one particularly hard grind, Gilli moaned into my mouth.
The hand that had been in her hair trailed down her back and under the top she was wearing, her skin was silky smooth. I ran my fingers gently up and down her spine several times, then found the back clasp on her bra. With a quick flick, I had the two hooks undone. Finally, my hand was free to roam over her bare skin.
I kissed over her lips, across her jaw, then spent extra time at her neck. I discovered that the spot just behind her ear was especially sensitive, so I gave that area plenty of attention. Gillian began to grind her pelvis against me in an ever increasing rhythm. Sex may have been off the table, but I was on a mission to feel her cum against some part of my body, even if it meant I would die from my need of her wrapped tight around me.
Her shirt was loose and came off easily. When she lifted her arms I removed her bra too and my eyes took in the beauty of her naked chest. Gilli's breasts weren't huge, but they were perfect handfuls, topped with tight rose colored nipples that I couldn't wait to suck.
