by Anna Scott
"She's fine, but Luke is driving her crazy. He's almost as bad as Jake was when Hope was pregnant with Dylan." Amber joked, and I laughed. When our friend Hope had been pregnant the year before, her husband Jake was obsessively protective of her. Hope worked as a counselor at a battered women's shelter. Her job could sometimes be dangerous, with exes who didn't want to be exes and women and children needing sanctuary. There was no way to predict when someone would take things too far.
"So, how's Reed?" "Amber asked, a jovial smirk on her face. I felt my cheeks heat thinking about the wicked things he'd done to me, but I wasn't going to tell her about that.
"He's fine. Working a lot right now." There, that was good. Not too much information, but enough that she would leave me alone - maybe.
"Uh huh, so what's going on with you two?" She pried further.
I shrugged and turned to grab her a napkin and refill the stack on the counter.
"Oh, come on. You guys have been dancing around each other for ages. You have to dish."
I glanced over at Kara and Clark who were listening avidly to every word. "We can talk about it later, okay?"
"Fine, we're getting together this weekend. I need the dirt."
"There's no dirt, but this weekend should be good." I didn't know what would be on Reed's agenda, but we hadn't made any definite plans yet. Amber left and I got back to work. Later in the afternoon I received another text from Reed, but no picture accompanied it this time.
Reed:Missing you. Going to Baton Rouge. Not sure when we are back.
Gillian:Drive safe. Be careful.
Reed:You miss me too. Don't hold out on me.
Gillian:I do.
Reed:I like the sound of that. Will try to call you tonight.
Gillian:Ok
At two, I closed down the cafe, finalized the accounting for the day and went home. I had a couple of assignments to complete and I needed to check in with my parents. I had talked to Missy again over the previous weekend and she was still doing well. I hoped that everything would continue to improve for her. I had encouraged her to bring Kelly and move back to McKinney. She had been born in the area, the same as me, but her father had gotten a job in Shreveport when she was about seven and moved the family to Louisiana. Missy didn't agree, but seemed to be considering the idea. I thought that just maybe, getting her away from the triggers of her past would help her to keep her life cleaned up.
"Gillian, I haven't talked to you in ages. How are you sweetheart?" My mother, the ultimate in disguising guilt trips as loving comments.
"Hey, mom. I talked to you five days ago."
"Yes, I know, sweetie, but I need to hear from you more, I worry about you, you know. Maybe I should send your brother out to check on you."
The cringe I couldn't hold back changed my smile to a grimace. "Uh, no mom, I don't think so."
"You're much too sensitive, he just wants what's best for you."
Thankfully, I was able to change the subject without further mention of my brother. He was my mother's favorite to be sure and the number of things she brushed under the rug where he was concerned baffled me. Our talks were superficial at best. My parents weren't overly judgmental, as long as I did what they wanted. I didn't mention Missy, though it was good news, I didn't want my mom to get her hopes us if things went bad again.
When dad got on the phone, he asked about the cafe, about the house and even told me that it was time to get my tires changed. We weren't a deep feelings kind of family. Talking to him at least wasn't laced with veiled criticisms, unlike talking to my mother.
It was after nine-thirty when I finally laid my head down. Getting up at four in the morning so that I could open the cafe made my days long and my nights early. I'd been productive at least. I was able to finish both assignments that were due later in the week, and did the minimal amount of cleaning that needed done around the house. Mostly, I was puttering around trying to occupy myself so I wouldn't notice that Reed hadn't called. I knew that he was busy and from his texts, I knew he was thinking about me when he could.
I was always busy, often with too much on my plate, so I couldn't figure out why with Reed gone, I was suddenly bored. My eyes closed on that thought and I finally began to doze, right when the phone rang.
Rolling to the side, I tagged it from the nightstand, checked the display to see that it was Reed and answered.
"Hey, beautiful. Are you in bed?" Reed's voice was off and I worried that something was wrong. He sounded really tired but in addition to that, a note of frustration was clear.
"Hey, you okay?"
He hesitated before answering, then replied, "Yeah, just tired."
"You in Baton Rouge?"
"Yep, and not finding a damn thing."
He was clearly irritated by the case he was working, but I knew that he wouldn't be able to talk about it in detail, so I allowed him to change the subject without complaint.
"You didn't answer my question," he reminded me.
"What question?"
"Are you in bed?"
Chuckling into the phone, I rolled to my back and grinned. "Yes, I'm in bed. Are you?" I was being a little flirty and I knew it. As frightened as I was about going farther with Reed, I was eager too, besides, he was hours away in another state so I was perfectly safe.
"I sure am. Were you sleeping?"
"Not quite," I sort of lied. I hadn't been fully asleep, though if he called a few minutes later, I would have been.
We talked about nothing for a while, and I began to relax back into my pillow, listening to the deep rasp of his voice was soothing me toward dreamland.
"I should be back the day after tomorrow. If it isn't too late, can we grab some dinner?"
"That sounds great," I responded on a yawn.
Reed laughed this time, and wished me a good night. When I fell asleep a few minutes later, it was with a huge smile plastered on my face.
***
"Darn it!" Kara shouted from the back of the cafe. A loud crash sounded, sending me running toward her.
I skidded to a stop just inside the doorway and stared. She was on her butt, on the floor with a twenty-pound bag of sugar spilled all around. I couldn't help myself - I laughed. Clark had run in behind me, leaving the front counter empty. Thankfully, we weren't busy. Once Clark started laughing too, Kara joined in and once we ascertained that Kara was fine, we began the arduous task of cleaning up. We'd been at it for about fifteen minutes when the bell over the door sounded and Clark darted out to help the customer who had just walked in.
"Gillian," Clark called a few minutes later, so I walked out, dusting sugar off myself. Looking up, I saw Missy standing there, on the other side of the counter. She had Kelly on one hip and a huge smile on her face.
"Missy!" I cried, rushing around the display case to get to her. Taking my cousin into my arms, I held her and Kelly both in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here. How long can you stay?"
"Just until tomorrow. I have a job interview in the morning, we need to go after that. I was hoping that someone could help me with Kelly. I don't know anyone here and I'm not sure what to do." Missy was nervous, but she seemed totally sober. It was the first time I'd seen her look that good in years.
"I'm sure we can. What time is your interview and where is it?"
Missy told me about the construction company she was trying to get a reception job with. Regardless of her challenging past, her appearance didn't show it. She was a clean cut, wholesome looking girl. Somehow she escaped the run down look of a drug user.
The three of us walked down to Indulgence, where I introduced the girls to Missy and Kelly. They fawned over Kelly, Aurora even tried to pick her up, which wasn't possible with her belly. Dawn laughed at her and picked Kelly up, and sat her on Aurora's lap after she sat on the chaise lounge. Kelly was excited by all the attention, and relaxed into Aurora. Laying her little head down on the soft fabric, she snuggled in and fell asleep. I promised Missy that between the four of us, Kelly wo
uld be just fine. Thankfully, her interview was scheduled for ten-thirty, well after the morning rush. I was a little worried that if she was there very long I would get busy and need help, so I recruited Dawn and Amber. Aurora had a doctor appointment and wasn't going to be working in the morning, but with all of us, Kelly would be well cared for.
Missy and Kelly stayed with me that night and as I settled into my bed, I glanced at my phone and realized that I hadn't heard from Reed once all day. Not even a text. As odd as that was, and as much as I wanted to reach out to him, I didn't. He was working on something important and I wasn't going to distract him. We had made very tentative plans and I didn't think he was the type to just blow me off if he had the option.
The following morning, Missy brought Kelly to me at the cafe and left for her appointment. She looked fantastic. She wasn't overly dressy, but looked professional and absolutely beautiful. It appeared that she was finding herself again. I was so excited to see her healthy. Around eleven-fifteen, Dawn walked down and took Kelly back to Indulgence so I could work the lunch rush without worrying about Kelly. She was just two after all, so it would be safe for me to let her color at my desk or sit at a table where I could see her. Dawn promised me that she and Amber had it covered.
By twelve-thirty I hadn't heard from Missy. I had started to worry, but was assured in the knowledge that at least she didn't know anyone in McKinney to get into trouble with. Finally, at one she walked in the door with a beaming smile on her face.
"Well?" I asked.
"I got it!" She shrieked and rushed over for a hug. I had been wiping down tables, so I tossed down the cloth and embraced her. We jumped up and down a few times as we squealed like little girls.
"Tell me all about it."
"I start in a month. That will give me enough time to give notice at my job and to pack up and move. The lady that runs the office was so nice. She's the owner's wife and she runs a tight ship." Missy explained. My heart was light and so hopeful for her and Kelly's future.
A few minutes later, Missy left to get Kelly and head back to Shreveport. I was sad to see them go, but was thrilled with the knowledge that they would be back to stay very soon.
"Is Reed back?" Amber asked when I picked up my phone a few hours later. I was at home, reviewing some notes for a test coming up the following week. I was seriously questioning what I was still doing, I wanted to finish my degree, but with the cafe my future plans had been seriously sidetracked. I didn't know exactly what the point was. It wasn't like I could sell my grandmother's legacy - right? I didn't hate the cafe or anything, it was a family business though and even though it wasn't my passion, it was my family.
"Don't think so, I haven't talked to him."
"That sucks. Trent is working late, you wanna grab dinner?"
Amber picked me up and drove us to El Camino, an old Mexican restaurant just outside of town. It had been in the same family since the sixties. They only took cash, and I was pretty sure hadn't been updated in any way since opening. The plates were cheap and huge.
We laughed and talked about work, about Luke's ever increasing worry for Aurora's pregnancy and Trent's sister Natalie who had apparently just broken up with some guy. I'd met Natalie a few times, but didn't know her well. She was a ball buster and I really liked her no nonsense manner. Amber thought the guy had been no good, but didn't share exactly what had happened.
"Did you hear about Gavin and Dawn's big fight last weekend?" Amber asked me. I looked at her blankly because, no, I hadn't. With Reed being out of town and me being so busy with work, school and Missy's unexpected visit, I hadn't had a chance to catch up with the girls all week. Amber wasn't a gossip per-se, she didn't spread rumors, lies or anything even remotely hurtful, but within the group, nothing was sacred.
"What happened?" I asked, honestly surprised that they had argued. Dawn and Gavin seemed so solid, though I knew that every couple argued from time to time.
"Dawn went to dinner with Tyler and Marc the other night when Gavin was at work. She dropped her phone and it broke. Apparently, Gavin freaked because he couldn't get ahold of her."
"I'm sure he was just worried," I tried to defend, but Amber shook her head with a smirk on her face.
"Yeah, he was and we all understand that part. The funny thing was, Gavin called Tyler and basically yelled at him. Dawn had walked to the bathroom or something so Ty couldn't immediately put her on the phone. Gavin lost his shit and told Ty to go find her and make sure she was safe."
"Was something going on that would indicate that she wasn't okay?" I asked, still trying to figure out why Gavin had reacted that way.
"No, maybe something at work, but it came out that Gavin was freaked because Dawn left her rings at home and Gavin thought she was leaving him or something."
"What? Why did she take off her wedding rings?"
"She put them in a bowl on their bathroom counter in cleaning solution and forgot to put them back on before she left."
"Are you kidding me?" I asked, not understanding why Gavin would react that strongly over something so innocent.
"No, so I guess Gavin got home, Dawn wasn't there, her rings were on the counter and he couldn't get ahold of her. Trent said that Gavin had forgotten about her plans with Ty or something."
"Why on earth was he so worried? I get that he would worry when she didn't answer, but that seems extreme."
"Right? Dawn was pissed, she's protective of Tyler and was mostly upset that Gavin had yelled at him."
"Did Gavin apologize, or explain himself?"
"He did, eventually. I will say that he worked hard to convince her to forgive him. She walked into work the next day with beard burn on her neck and a glassy, satisfied look in her eyes."
Amber's openness about sex sometimes made me uncomfortable, but I was trying to get used to it. I just laughed and shook my head. It was funny, and I knew that as bossy and over protective as all the guys seemed to be, it was only because they loved the girls so much. As far as I could tell, Jake was the worst, but Hope had found a way to deal with it. None of the girls cowed to their dominating ways, instead they put their foot down and did as they wanted. I was impressed.
As gentle and sweet as Reed could be, I knew that just under the surface was an overprotective badass. I wondered if I would be able to handle it like the other girls did. I was shy and quiet, but wasn't usually one to put up with someone telling me what to do, I'd certainly had enough of that growing up. My sense of duty, or loyalty to my family often colored my decisions, even when they didn't deserve it. I hoped that I wouldn't give in so easily with Reed if we went the distance.
"What are you thinking about?" Amber asked, a knowing smile on her face.
"Just about how strong all you girls are. The guys are bossy sometimes and I'm impressed at how well you all deal with that."
"Sometimes? Trent would boss me around constantly if I let him," she confessed, and I had to laugh. "How are things going with Reed?"
"Nice lead in," I teased her. I knew that she had been itching to ask me about my relationship with him. I was actually impressed that she'd waited that long.
"Things are good. He's been crazy with work all week though."
"Is he still in Louisiana?"
"Guess so," I answered with a shrug, I didn't exactly know. It wasn't like I'd heard from him.
"So, how is he?"
My face turned bright red, and I looked away.
"Oh, that blush gives you away. Come on, tell me."
Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and decided to find my guts. "We haven't gone that far." I admitted, took another deep breath and then continued. "The night we all went to dinner last week, we made out a lot, but we haven't done all that." I was proud of myself for opening up that much. It wasn't my style, especially about things like that, but I hadn't ever had sex type things to talk about before.
Amber's eyes were wide as she stared at me, she pressed her lips together and appeared to be thinking about somethi
ng. "You've been dating for several weeks now, right?"
"Um, yeah," I confirmed, wondering what she was thinking.
"You've been dating for weeks and you haven't had sex?"
Damn, I felt it, my face was bright red. "No, but...." I stopped myself from making excuses. I wasn't ashamed that we hadn't had sex. I wasn't that kind of girl, or I never had been before. I kind of wanted to be just that kind of girl now.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, that was a bitchy thing to say. I know Reed isn't a player, that really isn't what I meant. It's just that you guys seemed so hot for each other."
I shrugged but didn't answer, mostly because she hadn't asked me anything.
"There's something more between you. It's like when a couple is in the beginning, before they've had tons of sex. There's this tension surrounding them. Sometimes it's so strong you can almost see it. You guys don't have that. You seem settled and really comfortable. Does that make sense?"
"Um, I guess," I was going to do it. I was going to tell her. "I actually don't really know about that. To be honest, I haven't ever had sex before and I haven't dated much in the past few years." I was looking down at the table when I confessed, but looked up at Amber when I finished. Her jaw was slack, her eyes wide and her expression showed absolute shock. She sat back heavily against her chair and just looked at me for what seemed like hours but was probably more like long seconds.
"You've never - never? You're a - a virgin?" She whispered, leaning back in.
"Yep. I'm the twenty-three-year-old virgin. It's much like being the pink unicorn - most people don't believe I even exist." I tried to be flip about it to ease the nervousness I was feeling. Would she laugh at me or think I was some kind of looser? I couldn't see Amber doing something like that, but sometimes people react unexpectedly.
"Wow, I'm so sorry I pressed you. I had no idea. Are you upset with me?" She seemed genuinely concerned.
"No, of course not." I tried to reassure her, but I could still see that there was more on her mind and I wondered if she was going to share what she was thinking about.
