My dad’s eyes lit up when he spoke like that. I wondered if I had been depriving myself of something good. But, at the same time, love sounded like a burden. He couldn’t control what he did because of the way a woman got into his head. He made it seem great, but I’d seen lives get ruined, first hand. My poor mother still dealt with the effects of their split.
My mother is lovely in every way, but my father brought an ugliness in her. She’s the kind of woman who would never speak ill of anyone, but when she hears about my dad and one of his new girls, she gets this sour expression on her face. She was hesitant to start seeing men again because she didn’t want to be hurt that way ever again. She’s a woman with lots of love to give, but she held off in fear of being ruined again. I loved my dad, but I found it hard to forgive him for that. While I didn’t really give a shit about the other women, I had gotten to know Rebecca, and didn’t want the same fate for her.
“If that’s what love is, I don’t think I want it. If you loved Miranda, why would you fuck some random broad?
My dad gulped. “I don’t know. It’s an addiction, isn’t it?”
“You tell me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I think us Rye boys have an appetite that can’t be suppressed.”
“And that’s why I don’t go making promises to women,” I sighed. “I’ve learned from your mistakes.”
“Ah, and that’s just one of the ways I’ve ruined you,” he said wistfully. “You used to be such a loving kid. You used to snuggle with your mother every night when you were little. You were so open to being best friends with everyone you met. Then, when you got older, you started closing yourself off to people.”
“Is that so?” I asked in disbelief. “I think I have plenty of friends.”
“But what about girlfriends?”
“I’ve had a handful.”
“But you never told them you loved them.”
“Because I didn’t.”
I could see where my dad was going with this. My girlfriends were like long-term friends with benefits, but without really being friends. There was lots of passion, but little substance. Often times, they were waiting around for me to take things to the next level. They wanted to meet my parents or move in. That was about the time I cut them loose. The moment they realized that I wasn’t capable of giving them what they wanted, they were gone. Even beautiful models have dreams of starting a family one day. Even socialites want love.
“Has anyone ever come close?” he asked.
I thought for a moment. Perhaps it was because she was so fresh on my mind, but I immediately thought of Rebecca. Of course, I wasn’t in love with her. I hadn’t known her for very long. But, if there were anyone I was hesitant to let walk away from my life, it would be her. I think the fact that I wanted to speak to her about the internship debacle said enough for me. I could admit to myself that I had feelings for her. I wasn’t sure if I could admit it to her, though.
“Maybe. Why?”
“If there’s any chance you could be in love, you can’t just let it pass. I’m not saying you should get married right away, but damn it, you should allow yourself to be happy.”
“I don’t think you should be giving me relationship advice, old man,” I said as I was given a refill.
“No, you’re probably right,” he chuckled. “I’ve made another mess and I don’t know how I’m going to clean it up. Maybe the answer is rehab or couple’s therapy. For now, I need to sleep this off and wait for Miranda to call me.”
He stood up from the table, shaky on his feet. I didn’t know how many he had to drink before I showed up, but he had three or four drinks in my presence.
“Do you need help up to your room?” I asked, smelling the booze on his breath from feet away.
“No, no, I’m fine.”
“Can you sleep it off on your own, or will someone find you on top of a strange woman again?”
“I have no interest in that at the moment. I only want to sleep. Thanks for the talk, son. You’re a wiser man than me.”
He stumbled toward the elevator and went up to the room he rented after Miranda walked out. I went to the front desk and asked for room service to deliver a meal and aspirin in a few hours.
Then, I returned to the bar and continued to drink. I hoped that Rebecca would turn up soon. My liver couldn’t handle much more of a wait.
Suddenly, I had a burst of inspiration. If my dad thought I should go after the woman I cared about, then I was going to do that. I knew she didn’t want to see me, but if I didn’t get the chance to say my piece, then I would never rest. I decided I would take a cab to her dorm and tell her how I felt about her.
I dropped some cash at the bar and marched toward the door. In the process, I smacked straight into Rebecca.
“Hey,” I said, full of wonder at the coincidence.
“You,” she growled. She marched back in the bar, gave her drink order and sat down at a table. I scurried beside her and sat down, eager to tell her everything.
“I know you’re mad at me, but I have to—”
“Fuck you!” she interrupted. “Fuck you and fuck your father. My mother just called me, absolutely devastated because your dad cheated on her.”
“I know,” I groaned. “I already spoke with him. I’m absolutely mortified by his behavior.”
“If we put that disaster aside for a moment, you’ll see you’re not better than him. You cheated on me, in one way or another. You promised something very important to me. You told me I was the best and the only person for the job. You made me think I was special. Then, you went and gave it away to some guy who didn’t deserve it like I did. You used me. You let me pretend to be your girlfriend and you brought me back to your place.”
“I was blackmailed!” I exclaimed, jumping in to speak when it had the chance. “That rat bastard Kevin had a whole stack of pictures of us together. If I didn’t give him the job, then I would have been reported and fired. It would have ruined any good reputation I had in this city. Your reputation would have been at stake, too. I didn’t have a choice and there was no time to explain. I can get you something just as good. You only need to ask. I just couldn’t give you that particular internship, not while there were pictures of us in each other’s arms floating around.”
She blinked at me, her eyes blazing. Her lips were tightly pursed as she listened.
“I’m very sorry things turned out this way. I’m willing to make it up to you.”
She looked down at the table, unable to meet my eye. I wasn’t sure, but it looked like she had been crying.
“Is this true?” she asked.
“Entirely,” I said desperately.
“Why are you doing this for me? Is it out of pity? Haven’t you done enough?”
I shook my head. “It’s not pity at all,” I said earnestly. “I—I think—” I trailed off. I couldn’t complete the sentence. It was so simple to say, yet impossible for me to spit out.
“You what?” she asked, uninterested.
“Never mind,” I said, feeling frustrated. “Can we have dinner and talk this over? If I don’t eat eventually, I’m not going to make it much longer.”
She nodded.
I counted that as a victory. I paid for our drinks and led her onto the street and into a cab.
25
Rebecca
I twirled pasta around my fork, thankful to be in the back of a dimly-lit restaurant as Alex told me about his chat with Kevin. Though he thought the situation had been handled, I was still nervous. If there were pictures of me canoodling with a professor, I didn’t want to be exposed and reprimanded.
“How bad were they?” I asked.
Alex shook his head. “Not really. It clearly looks like we were very friendly. There’s one that I’m pretty confident is you blowing me, but no one else would be able to figure that out. I only know because I remember it well.”
“That’s mortifying.”
“It’s n
ot a big deal. If I have to go to extremes to make sure your reputation isn’t harmed, then I will. Besides, you’re only my student for one more class.”
“What are you going to do with Kevin?”
“I don’t know,” he said casually. “Should I kill him?”
My mouth opened in shock.
“Relax, I’m kidding. Though, sometimes I wish I weren’t. He technically has the internship and I don’t see him giving it up, just because he’s not on good terms with me. I’ll probably just try to make his life hell. I’ll send him out of the office doing errands all day. Or, I’ll just pawn him off on someone else. There’s no way in hell I’m giving him any useful advice or direction. I hope to see him as little as possible.”
“I hope he’s terrible at it,” I said spitefully.
“Me too,” Alex agreed. “I’ll have to let my bosses know that he wasn’t the first choice. Besides, I’m not sure how much longer I really want to work there.”
“Really?” I asked. “What are you planning on doing?”
He shrugged. “Nothing anytime soon. Lately, I’ve been trying to think toward the future.”
“And?”
He smiled. “It’s not something I’m used to. In finance, sure, but in my personal life, I’ve always been focused on the present.”
That’s where we were opposites. I had always been so focused on the future that I forgot to live in the present moment.
“Do you think your mom is going to get back together with my dad?” he asked.
I bit my lip. “I truly have no idea. I’ve never heard her so devastated before. I wish we would have known they were going to get married so we could get them to slow things down a little. I don’t object to my mom dating your dad, but she had no idea what she was getting herself into.”
“I agree,” he sighed. “He’s really not a bad guy, but he does stupid stuff sometimes. He falls in love too easily and he’s gotten away with sampling every willing woman who crosses his path.”
“I don’t want my mom to get hurt again.”
“I don’t either. I really liked her when I met her. She’s really too good for him.”
“Are you just saying that because I’m her daughter? Either way, I appreciate you saying so. I’m glad we’re on the same side here, even though you kind of have to be loyal to your dad.”
“He understands he messed up. I’ve made it clear to him that I think he’s a jackass for what he did. I advised him to never get married again. He just thinks he needs to go to couple’s counseling or rehab.”
“Both are probably wise,” I said. “They’re probably going to get divorced, right?”
“I’d say almost definitely. It’s probably best that we aren’t stepsiblings. It was already difficult to introduce you to people. This would only make things more complicated.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that is pretty weird. When my mom said she was dating a guy from Hazelwood, I didn’t even consider the fact that your father was from there. I wish I would have made the connection earlier.”
“So much heartbreak could have been spared,” he said wistfully.
Something had changed about Alex since we started to get to know each other. On our first date, he was incredibly rude. Now, he was mellow and kind. It was as if I had managed to break down whatever wall he kept up to protect him from suffering his father’s fate. He went through women and threw them away like old tissues, not because he didn’t respect them, but because he feared getting too close. He had seen what his father’s ways could do to a person, and wanted nothing to do with it. I must have caught him at a vulnerable time, because he was slowly opening up to me. He had been using a defense mechanism, and I was able to break into the machine and watch how it functioned. I had to remind myself that Alex was a real human being with thoughts and feelings, and not just a science experiment. Finally, I could understand why he made me feel like shit one day, and a princess the next. He had no idea what he was doing and was scrambling to protect us from disaster.
However, I felt it was best to keep these suspicions to myself. I didn’t want to spook him and lose him forever. Though I swore to myself on multiple occasions that I would be done with him, I couldn’t shake Alex Rye. And, if he was going to be a part of my life in one way or another, I thought it was best to keep things cordial and peaceful.
For the first time since we started hanging out, I felt calm. Though we were deeply entangled in a series of never-ending dramas, I could relax around Alex and speak to him as a friend. I didn’t need an agenda or ulterior motive. We were no longer pieces in a chess game, always thinking of our next move, working to outsmart the other.
“What an absolute mess this day has been,” I giggled, nearly delirious from emotional exhaustion. “Are there any more secrets that you haven’t told me?”
I was joking, but Alex’s face went blank. I was expecting a sarcastic remark from him, but got silence instead.
“Is there?” I asked exasperatedly. “Your silence is telling.”
“No, I promise I don’t have anything else,” he said.
I looked him in the eye, staring at him until he finally broke. Whatever he was hiding, he was putting up a pretty good fight.
“Don’t make me guess,” I said, trying to figure out what he was thinking. “Are you seeing someone? Are you failing me in your class? Are you about to tell me that you don’t want to be seen with me anymore?”
“No,” he said brusquely. “I think I have feelings for you.”
I froze. I hadn’t been expecting that. If anything, I figured I would spill the beans first, and he wouldn’t be able to reciprocate.
“Oh, that’s it?” I said softly. “Huh.”
Now it was his turn to stare at me.
“And?” he asked.
“Well, I like you too, I guess,” I said, feeling flummoxed.
“You guess,” he scoffed “Oh, I’m an idiot. Why did I say that?”
“No, I’m glad you did,” I said reassuringly. “I’m sorry, I’m not great at this either. Obviously, there’s something between us, but what are we supposed to do about it? We’ve already gotten ourselves into so much trouble, and we’ve only known each other for less than two weeks. Where could we possibly go from here?”
I could see a little sadness behind Alex’s eyes. When it came down to it, I would have loved to be able to date him. I wanted to be able to spend more time with him and really get to know him. But, until the divorce went through, we were stepsiblings. And, until I had my diploma in hand, he was my professor.
“You know, if you’d be willing to try to make it work, I would be interested in giving this a shot,” he said carefully. “I’m kind of new to this, but I’d be open to making this work.”
“Really?” I asked, my eyes lighting up.
He nodded. “It might be best to keep public appearances to a minimum before you graduate, but then, I think I’d really like to continue this relationship.”
“Continue?” I asked.
He smiled. “Well, I’ve already introduced you to people as my girlfriend. We’ve already been on a few dates, and you’ve slept over at my place. That sounds like dating to me.”
I giggled. All along, I had been so far into my own head that I hadn’t realized that we were behaving like any other couple would. We just had a lot more baggage than most.
“What if we didn’t see each other until I graduated?” I asked. “We could still talk on the phone, but we just kept physical contact out of the picture until I was done with school. The distance might make things more meaningful.”
“Two weeks?” he asked. “That’s a long time.”
“Are you not willing to wait for me so we can make this thing legitimate?”
“No, I am,” he said. “I think it’s a good idea. I’ve never tried to have a real relationship with anyone before.”
“What about our parents?” I asked, wincing.
“Let’s not mention it just yet,” he said. “If the tim
e comes where they need to know about us, we’ll tell them. They can hardly be mad after the mess they’ve created, right?”
I chuckled. “Right. And now that I’m not working for you, that takes care of that debacle. At the very least, we can just sneak around together.”
“I think I want more than that,” he said, taking my hand in his. “I want to have more moments with you at fundraisers, so I can show off how cool you are. I want to be able to walk down the streets of Manhattan without worrying about what people will say.”
I rarely got caught up in romance, but my heart melted a little at this. All my life, I saw myself as a weird, little girl who could never catch the attention of the popular crowd. Hearing him say that he wanted me on his arm meant the world to me.
“So, do we start our two weeks of celibacy now?” I asked after the waiter came by for Alex’s credit card.
He smirked. “How about one more night? Come back to my place and then we’ll start the clock from there. I know we said we’d try to take things slow, but I’m having such a nice night. I don’t want it to end.”
I returned his smile. “Okay,” I relented. He was impossible to say no to.
26
Alex
Once again, we were hand in hand, racing to my apartment for a little privacy. In the cab on the way home, I discreetly slipped my hand under her skirt and touched her as she tried to pretend as if nothing was happening. I loved watching her sit in the cab while her cheeks began to flush. I found the way she bit her lip incredibly sexy. I wasn’t sure if I’d make it through the doors of my building without showing my excitement below the belt.
We giggled as we walked through the front door, arms around each other. I had one hand firmly on her ass and she had hers around my waist as we rushed to get inside.
When we got to the front door, none other than Kevin walked out of the elevator. He seemed surprised to see us together, looking so happy. I thought about slugging him in the face right then and there, but he was still my student and I didn’t want to get myself into trouble, especially after giving into his demands.
Faking It_A Fake Girlfriend Romance Page 14
