by Brooke May
Chapter Thirty
“BREAK TIME!’ Chamberlain hoists me over his shoulder and strides into the cottage, making me giggle. “What’s for lunch, woman?” He slaps my bottom as he places me back down in the kitchen.
“I don’t know. What are you making me?” I tease, leaning against the counter and beaming up at him. Last night was amazing. I never thought it was physically possible for any person to go as long as he did. Five times! I’m shocked but thoroughly satisfied. Then we went to sleep with nothing between us - not a stitch of clothing just blankets and his big arms.
“Very funny.” He kisses my nose and fills our water bottles.
“Oh, fine.” I slap his bottom as I go to the fridge to get some cold, shredded chicken to make us sandwiches. “I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” I whine as I make his three sandwiches and my one.
Here, it feels like I have no worries, no parents to attempt to control me, and no women trying to steal Chamberlain from me. This week has been pure bliss. I wake in his arms every morning, work out and run with him, we go on adventures, and then I fall asleep with him after we make love.
Life is perfect here.
“Me either, but I need real gym time too.” He comes up and hugs me to him while watching. I lift my finger for him to lick the mustard off. “Besides, you have school to finish.”
“I know,” I grumble. The last couple of days, I’ve been thinking more and more about what I’m going to do with my schooling while he travels. And I’ve decided I’m going to see if I can do everything online so I can be with him everywhere. I just need to talk to him about it.
I place his sandwiches before him and am about to bring the subject up when a car horn blares outside. “Are you expecting someone?” I look out the window, but I don’t see anything.
“No.” Chamberlain frowns and heads for the door. He smiles as he opens it and walks out. It must be Scott, but why would he come up for just the day. It makes no sense. Grabbing my sandwich, I head for the door and stop in the threshold with my sandwich suspended in midair as I see Chamberlain scoop Gwen up and hug her, laughing.
What is she doing here?
Chamberlain said it was just supposed to be the two of us.
“Hi, K.C.” She waves at me as he grabs her bag from her car and follows Chamberlain up to the door.
“Hi,” I mutter as I angrily stuff my sandwich into my mouth and walk back inside to sit at the table and eat a yogurt.
She sets her stuff on the small couch by the fireplace and moves around like she is familiar with everything.
She probably is.
“So…” Chamberlain pulls a shirt over his head and gives Gwen a bewildered look.
Please ask why she’s here.
I silently beg as I continue to eat.
“What brought you up here? We were coming home tomorrow.” He comes over, lifts me, and then sits in my spot, effectively pulling me onto his lap. He then steals a bite of my yogurt, never taking his eyes off Gwen.
What’s going on?
I feel like an intruder, especially looking over at her and how she watches him. I get up to leave, but Chamberlain’s hands hold me to him.
Gwen looks around and then walks over to the seat opposite us. “Well, I thought you could use some help with your training.” She sounds guilty and uneasy. She very well should! Chamberlain had told me this week was just for the two of us and for him to focus on training without any interruptions.
“That wasn’t necessary.” Chamberlain takes another bite of my yogurt. I feel a little better now, but it is short-lived. “But since you’re here, I could use a sparring partner and a spotter for the rest of the day.”
What?
That stings a little. He never once said anything about needing help. I may not be much help, but I would do it gladly. I get up this time, abandoning my yogurt to Chamberlain.
“I’m going to finish my paper,” I say to no one in particular. I grab my stuff and head outside to sit in the sun. I try half-heartedly to work on my paper, but hearing them laugh and joke around before coming outside distracts me.
“You wanna start with some sparring?” Gwen asks as she moves into the last open part of the yard, right in front of me. She peels her shirt off, leaving her in tiny shorts and her sports bra. She bounces around with warm-ups before going into a guarded boxer shuffle.
“Why not?” Chamberlain does his own stretching and then joins her. I focus on my paper, only getting a couple of lines written before my focus goes back to them. Gwen has no problem getting up close with Chamberlain, especially with me sitting here watching.
Disgusted, I close my notebook in my textbook with my pencil and storm inside. I grab my water bottle and camera. “I’m going for a walk,” I say over my shoulder to them, not sure if they heard me or not. I take off in the direction Chamberlain and I walked the first night here.
I do my best to not even think. I try to just relax and enjoy the sounds of the birds and the breeze passing through the trees. I stop to snap a few pictures here and there before continuing on my way. I really like it here. I’ve never spent any time in the woods before, but I can see the appeal for it now that I have. It is peaceful and quiet compared to the city. Maybe once I get my degree and find a job, I’ll save up to go on yearly trips during the summer to different mountain ranges in the US and explore. That sounds like fun.
Soon, I reach the spot where Chamberlain and I had stopped. I take a seat against the trunk of the tree and close my eyes. My life has not taken the route I always thought I would get. I grin at the memory of finally standing up to my parents and fighting them. I’m proud of myself. I don’t want the life they wanted for me. That isn’t me.
And now, I’m getting a chance to really find out who K.C. Cunningham is. I feel more confident in myself and in my ability to make my own decisions.
Eventually, my parents will find out about my classes. I wonder what they will do to me when they do. I really hope they don’t try to blackball me with the university to prevent me from finishing my degree.
I’m doubtful since if they did that to me, it would come back on them. The best things they can do for me is forget I’m even their daughter and focus on Zoey. She’s what they want, not me. I’ve come to accept that in life. When I was younger, I did my best to get my parents’ attention. But then, it never worked, and it hurt. Asserting my independence and finding Chamberlain have helped.
I shake my head and lay back against the tree, finding it surprisingly comfortable.
Chamberlain.
He’s completely changed my view of love. I never really believed in it when it came to couples. I knew of the love that Fiona held for me, but I never saw it through my parents. They are an obligation to one another; I don’t think they have ever really been in love. Through their marriage, the family gained the prestige that came with my mother while she gained the money that came with my father.
That would have been the same for Timothy and myself.
Not anymore.
I’m glad that falls on Zoey now. Chamberlain makes me happy, most of the time. Then there are times, like right now, when I feel like I don’t fit in. I wish I had at least one close friend outside of Fiona who I could talk to, but then again, I’ve grown so used to talking and thinking to myself that I don’t know how I would handle another person in my thoughts all the time.
I let out a small sigh that forms a yawn. Suddenly, I feel really tired. I nestle down further into my seat and wrap my arms around myself. I wonder if it will always be this way with Chamberlain, or if things would change if I just got the courage to tell him how I feel, how I love him. As I drift off to sleep, a small smile plays on my face at the thought of him saying ‘I love you’ to me.
XOXO
“SHIT! HERE SHE IS!” Chamberlain’s booming voice pulls me from my dreamless sleep. Gingerly, I open my eyes to find it dark out and a light coming toward me quickly. “Fuck, Katie.” Chamberlain crouches down next to me, check
ing for injuries, and then lifts me into his arms, drawing my head to his shoulder.
“I fell asleep,” I whisper, still extremely tired.
“You had me worried, panda.” He kisses my forehead and takes off toward another light. Gwen. She has her arms crossed, looking angrily at me, but lays a blanket over me in Chamberlain’s arms.
“Don’t worry us like that, lady,” she scolds me, making me feel like a child. Instantly, I wish I was still asleep.
“Sorry,” I whisper as I cover myself. We all remain quiet on the walk back to the cottage. And when we arrive, Gwen stays outside while Chamberlain takes it upon himself to change me and put me to bed.
“Get some sleep, Katie.” He kisses my forehead again and then disappears back down the ladder. I roll over and try to go back to sleep, but it eludes me when I hear Gwen walk in.
“She asleep?” she first whispers. Chamberlain must have nodded or something because she starts talking louder. “What the fuck was she thinking?”
I hear a frustrated breath. “I don’t know. She shuts down every once in a while on me.” A thud follows after a chair is pulled out.
“Why are you with her if she frustrates you like this?” Gwen coos to Chamberlain.
Freaking coos!
It makes my skin prickle. Chamberlain doesn’t answer her, which hurts more than words. “She comes off as a little ice queen or rich bitch, C.” Gwen doesn’t hide the disgust in her voice, yet Chamberlain still doesn’t answer her, but his face must say something. “Listen, do what you want, but I don’t like her. She may seem nice, but that’s what they all do.”
All who?
All women who aren’t her? Because she is so much better for Chamberlain than I am?
The tears start to fall. I pull the pillow over my head to stop the sobbing and to block my ears from hearing anymore. His silence speaks volumes to me. There is nothing between us anymore - he’s had his fun, and he’s done. For the first time in a long time, I can’t wait to get home.
This week has ended horribly and was a lie. I’m not sure how long it takes me to calm my tears. I’m almost asleep when Chamberlain comes up the ladder and gets into bed with me. I do my best not to melt into his embrace like my body wants. I’m hurting and don’t want the person who can both make the hurting go away and make it worse touching me.
XOXO
THE NEXT DAY, I say very little as breakfast is eaten, and I decline the offer to go for a run with them. I don’t want to. Instead, I go over to the heavy bag still hanging and start to hit it like Chamberlain showed me. It is the last thing Chamberlain has to put away before we leave after lunch. It feels good to take my frustration out on something as my fists continually slam into the bag.
I had already packed my bags and put them in the truck before breakfast was finished, and I’m grateful I packed my MP3 player. I can never think while I listen to music, so it is a welcome distraction, along with the pain in my knuckles as I hit harder and harder.
My breathing starts to grow labored, and my muscles start to ache as I let out a gut-wrenching cry as I throw my whole body behind my fists until the point that I collapse to the ground crying. “Bad as It Gets” by Jewel sings to me through my earbuds, causing the sobs to get worse. I rip them from my ears, toss them on the ground at my knees, and bury my face in my hands to let out a muffled scream. I suck in short breaths and try to completely stop when I hear Chamberlain and Gwen, mainly Gwen, talking as they come running back.
I push myself up and run into the cottage to wash my face and calm down before they see me. They stay outside; stretching and finishing their waters before Chamberlain comes in. I have managed to get composed myself the best I can.
“Hey, baby.” He comes up and wraps his arms around me. “You have a good workout?” He looks me over, taking my appearance in as a hard workout rather than from tears. I nod and break our contact to grab my own water.
I don’t wait to see if we are all going to take turns with the shower. Silently, I gather my things and enclose myself in the bathroom and shower just as quietly. Once I’m done, Gwen goes, and Chamberlain follows after her once he has loaded our things into the truck.
“I’m hitting the road.” Gwen skips into the cabin to grab her bag and blows a kiss in our direction. “See you two back in Boston.” She’s gone, finally.
She won’t be seeing me again.
“Ready to hit the road too?” Chamberlain watches me warily.
I give him a weak smile with another nod. I will miss it here; I will miss our time alone together here. “I’ll get my bag and put the heavy bag away, and then we will head out if you want to make us some lunch and pack up the food.”
“Will do,” I say quietly, as my voice comes back to normal. I do my task and quickly make us sandwiches before packing the rest up into one cooler.
“Looks like it is going to rain.” Chamberlain comes back in and spots the empty cooler. “I’m going to put our bags in here so they stay dry.”
“All right.” I remain soft and quiet. I help him take things out and get in while he closes up. I dig out my tablet and start reading, not feeling like talking. Everything feels off right now, and I don’t know if I can talk to him with dry eyes.
“What do you remember from the other night?” he asks, worriedly, as he pulls us onto the road.
“What night?”
“Wednesday,” he states. The day we got back from the falls.
“Everything, why?”
Where is he going with this?
“Do you remember saying anything to me before you went to sleep?” His voice is hopeful.
My frown deepens. I don’t remember saying anything. “No, why? Did I say something stupid?” I tilt my head to him.
The ghost of a smile that was starting to play on his face falls. “Nothing, never mind,” he mutters and doesn’t go on.
What is going on?
Confused, I go back to my book. It isn’t until we are almost to Boston when Chamberlain finally breaks the silence between us. “What is going on, Katie?” He is annoyed. I look up from my tablet to him and find his knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel too tightly. His brows are creased while the vein pops out of the side of his head, throbbing.
“Well?” he barks, making me flinch. He sighs. “Sorry.” Muttering, he glances at me quickly and then back at the road.
Here we go.
“I’m just a little upset that Gwen showed up. I thought it was supposed to be the two of us all week.” My voice is small, and I do nothing to mask the hurt in it.
I glare at him when he has the audacity to laugh at me. “Katie, you’re being stupid.”
Excuse me!
“Gwen just came up to help me out so quit being so paranoid.”
My mouth gapes at him.
How dare he!
I feel extremely hurt now. I curl up into myself and tuck my head down. I can’t believe he just called me stupid and paranoid. “You could have asked me for help. I know I don’t know everything, but I would try,” I whisper, trying to keep my tears at bay.
“It’s just better if I have someone who knows how to help me, Katie. Sorry, but it’s the truth.” He doesn’t sound sorry. “Besides, Gwen needs to get away every once in a while too.”
So that makes it okay for her to come to us? I don’t think so. I know she doesn’t like me; maybe coming to the cottage was her way to try to break us up. Well, it’s working. “There are other places she could go,” I mutter more to myself.
“Chill out, Katie,” Chamberlain barks again, and this time I can’t keep hold of my tears. I look out the window as more buildings come into view. I’m done talking, so I cry in silence. I pray he doesn’t hear me.
Silence and time drag on, but we finally reach my house. Chamberlain barely gets the truck into park when I’m out and going around the back to get my bags. As I’m hoisting them out of the cooler, Chamberlain comes back to help me. He doesn’t look any different even after s
eeing my tears.
“Don’t!” I jerk away from him as he tries to help me. “I don’t need any help.” I needed his help last night by standing up to Gwen, but I guess we don’t share the same feelings as I thought we might.
Juggling my bags in my hands, I rush toward the door.
“KATIE!” Chamberlain shouts behind me, following, but I get to the door quickly and slam it behind me. I can hear him on the other side, but I can’t compose myself anymore. I drop to the floor with a thud and start bawling my eyes out. Loud, unfiltered cries come ripping from my mouth as my eyes unleash a floodgate of tears. I don’t care if he can hear me. He should know how hurt I am right now.
I cry even harder when I hear the truck leave.
That’s it?
Are we done?
I hug myself, trying to rein in my sobs, but it’s no use. I cry until I have nothing left in me, leaving me empty and dehydrated.
“What in the world?” Fiona rushes over to me after she climbs the stairs from her apartment. She drops to her knees and wraps her arms around me. “What is going on, baby doll?” She coos the question as she runs a hand up and down my back, rocking me back and forth.
I’m starting to gasp for air, hyperventilating because no tears will come.
This is what heartbreak looks like.
“Hush now.” She shushes. “It’s okay, K.C.” Her soft voice starts to calm me, and once I am able to stabilize my breathing, she looks at me. “Let’s get you down to my couch, and I’ll make you a cup of tea.”
“Okay.” My voice is hoarse from crying. I get up on unsteady feet and drag myself down the stairs, collapsing on Fiona’s couch and pulling her afghan over me. “Your Love is My Drug” plays from my phone in my bag, but I ignore it as it continues to ring several times in a row.
“Would you like me to answer?” Fiona comes downstairs with my other bags and a cup of steaming tea.
“No.” I sit up and graciously take the tea. “I’ll just shut it off.”
