“Did you not hear me roar? Twice?”
“Yes,” she admitted softly. “I did.”
“And you still want to know if I had a good time?”
“Well, you’re not in pain, as you said, so you know you were my best. But there’s no way for me to know about you unless you tell me.”
Ah. He opened his mouth to respond, but she’d only just warmed up to her subject. “And really,” she continued, “you resisted me for so long. You never wanted to be with me. You made sure I knew we were only temporary.”
Temporary. The word settled inside his head like a bomb seconds away from detonation. The thought of this woman with another man, naked like this, sated like this, sharing like this… Every cell in his body screamed in protest. Mine.
If he committed, she would expect forever.
Usually the word forever made him cringe. Just then, forever didn’t seem like enough time with her. There were too many things to talk about, to do, too many ways to have her, and still practice the old stuff.
Did that mean he…loved her?
That thought didn’t make him cringe, either. But loving her would mean putting her needs above his own, above his mission, above everything. If he did that, and then later lost her…losing her would mean losing everything. More than that, she would challenge him constantly, whether she meant to do so or not. She would demand his attention and she wouldn’t let him get away with shit.
But—and that was a BIG but—he’d thought he would hate living that way. In fact, he’d thought he needed a break from the challenge of simply being who and what he was, which was why he’d gone on that vacation with Paris and William. A vacation that hadn’t lasted long. He’d been bored out of his freaking mind within a day. Bored and more restless than ever, searching for…something.
Which might explain why he’d gone rushing to Kaia’s side the day she’d called him from jail. Which might explain his decision to act as her consort, without wanting to sign on for double occupancy. But that didn’t explain what he felt now. Possessive on a bone-deep level, protective and exhilarated.
Bottom line, he needed to be challenged to survive. Not only because the victories from those challenges fed his demon, keeping the little shit happy rather than frothing inside his mind, but also because he felt so alive. And when he was with Kaia, he wasn’t just alive, he was sizzling. Inside and out.
He recalled how desperately he’d craved her one night when he’d found her in the hallway of the fortress, dressed only in a purple robe, her hair in disarray around her shoulders, her nipples hard and peeking through the thin material, her feet bare. She’d looked well-pleasured and aroused at the same time and he’d wanted to sate that arousal in a way previous lovers had failed to do.
Thank the gods Paris had stuck his head out his bedroom door and tossed Kaia her slippers before Defeat locked on the challenge of having her. Or so Strider had thought at the time. He’d walked away from Kaia and blocked all images of her from his head. Since that moment, however, he’d been grumpy, no one able to satisfy him. Even his reluctant crush on Haidee hadn’t helped distract him from the Harpy. Now…
His satisfaction was unparalleled. So was his desire to keep this woman with him. To never again let her go. To never again walk away from her.
Yeah. He loved her.
He wasn’t shocked by the revelation. He’d probably known on some deep, primal level all along, he just hadn’t wanted to admit it. Had fought it. No more fighting.
Kaia was it for him. The one he wanted, needed, had to have. She was the beginning and the end. His. His in every way. His other half, his needed half. He’d resisted her appeal far too long, convinced himself she would be like all the others. But how could she be like all the others when she was so much more, in every possible way?
To tell her or not to tell her? Would a declaration from him distract her from the games?
“Strider?” Her tone was hesitant, as if she feared she’d scared him.
When you looked on the surface, she was cocky, confident and unmanageable. When you looked deeper, you saw how vulnerable she truly was. He hated himself for not seeing those vulnerabilities sooner. How many times and in how many ways had he hurt her over the past few weeks?
He squeezed her tight. “You know I won’t lie to you, right?”
And he’d thought her stiff before. “Right.” So much dread layered that single word, all hope disintegrated.
Even as he ached for her, he tried not to grin. “Then here it is, flat out. You were… Shit, there aren’t even words to describe how good you were. I’ve never experienced anything like it, like you, and I loved every damn moment of it.”
“Really?” she asked again.
“Oh, yeah. Really.”
“Well.” She kissed his chest, and she sounded self-assured when she added, “That’s because I’m made of awesome.”
“And dipped in awesome.”
“And sprinkled with awesome.”
“Gods, I love the taste of awesome.”
Another chuckle escaped her, warm and rich as wine. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. And I mean that. You’re a goddess, Kaia.”
Another kiss, soft and sweet. “Nah. That’s just a rumor one of my old boyfriends started.”
A grin quirked the corners of his lips. “So.” He traced his fingertips up and down the ridges of her spine. “When will you be fertile?”
“Why? Do you want a baby?”
“Hell, no. Are you kidding? I’m scared enough about the day when Maddox and Ashlyn’s little Strider and Stridette are running around.” Although, he almost…liked the idea of a little redheaded brat wrecking havoc on the fortress, driving him insane, challenging him every minute of every day. That “like” sort of panicked him. “I asked about fertile-time because I’m trying to figure out when I need to buy stock in Trojans.”
She scraped his nipple with her teeth. “Smart-ass. Harpies are only fertile about once a year and I don’t hit that part of my cycle for another eight months. Plus, you only have, like, a one in a million chance of making an immortal with me anyway.”
“Actually, I have a one in ten chance of making a felon.”
A laugh bubbled from her, and he relished the carefree sound.
Pride filled him. I did that. “Why such low odds?” he asked, curious. If she thought him lacking in that department, well, he’d haul her ass to a specialist, do the cup thing and prove just how exceptional his little swimmers were.
Ego check.
Well, they were.
“Because of my paternal heritage,” she said, a bit hesitant. “The Phoenix have never made children easily. That’s why they’re nearing extinction.”
“If it’s so hard for them to procreate, how’d your mother have twins with one?”
Her glow dimmed. “She’s an overachiever.”
“So are you.” Speaking of kids, though… “When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” He found that he was desperate to learn about her, her past. Her hopes and dreams.
A sigh of longing. “To be honest, I wanted to be ruler of the entire world. Or the ruler’s trophy wife.”
He was the one to laugh this time.
She lifted her head long enough to glare at him. “What?”
“I like your goals, that’s all. They’re cute. Like you.”
“Cute.” She rolled her eyes. “Exactly what every girl wants to be in the eyes of the man she, you know, is riding like a carnival pony.”
Now who was the smart-ass? “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with cute. I’m cute as a button.”
Another roll of her eyes and she settled back into his side. “I’ve mentioned your humbleness before, I’m sure. It’s touching, really. So what did you want to be when you grew up?” Her fingers traced little circles over his chest.
He clasped her hand and brought those fingers to his mouth, kissing the digits before returning them to his chest. “I was never a kid, so
I never thought about it.”
“Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting. So why do you have a birthmark on your ass?”
An eyebrow arched up. “Noticed that, did you?”
“I’m very observant,” she said gravely. “Had nothing to do with checking you out all the time or following you with stalkerlike focus.”
Adorable girl. “It’s not a birthmark. It’s a tattoo. Or what remains of one.” And something he never discussed, but this was Kaia. “A woman challenged me to have her name inked into my skin. I did, but I had Sabin there to tattoo over it if the stupid thing couldn’t be removed.”
“You killed the woman, of course.”
So bloodthirsty, his Kaia, but then, that was one of the things he loved about her. “I killed her dreams of happily ever after with me.”
She nodded in understanding. “Now she suffers eternally. Good job. But, man, that’s sad, about your lack of a childhood, I mean.”
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Not really. You can’t miss what you don’t know about.”
“Well, one day very soon, we’re going to take a bath together and I’m going to show you how to play rubber ducky.” Her hand glided down his stomach, swirled around his navel and finally cupped him.
He jolted in exquisite reflex. “I think I’ll like that game.”
“Good. And guess what else? You finally earned your nickname.”
“Oh, yeah?”
Her tongue flicked out, laving his nipple into a tight little bead. “Yeah. Bonin’ the Barbarian.”
An unexpected snort left him. “I like it. Way better than the Sexorcist.”
“Way better.”
“Well, you’ve earned a new nickname yourself, Kaia darling.” When her hand remained on his sac, he reached down and moved her fingers around his ever-hardening cock. Oh, yeah. That was the stuff.
The location change distracted her from their topic, but only for a few seconds. She tensed. Nicknames were painful for her. He got that. He also got that while she hated her title, she felt like she deserved it. But everyone made mistakes and she’d been blamed for hers long enough. For gods’ sake, she’d been a child. Strider couldn’t even imagine the trouble he would have gotten himself into if he’d grown from child to man, rather than springing to life fully formed.
Look what he’d done without a childhood. Stolen Pandora’s box. Unleashed demons upon an unsuspecting world. Given away the Cloak of Invisibility to wicked, amoral creatures.
Enough of that. He rolled on top of Kaia, pinning her with his muscled weight. Automatically her arms looped around his neck—damn, he hated that her fingers were no longer squeezing his length. Oh, well. This was for the greater good. Her legs parted to create a cradle for him.
He cupped her chin, forcing her gaze to remain on his face. “I want to talk to you about something,” he said.
In the back of his mind, Defeat ceased moaning with pleasure. Perhaps he sensed Strider’s unease and feared a fight with the Harpy.
“I know what you want to discuss.” Kaia licked her lips, and the sight of that pink tongue caused his cock to twitch. “Paris, right? Well, you have to—”
He shook his head. “We’re done with that subject. He’s wiped from your memory now.”
“For sure! But what happens when I bump into him? If I hang with you, I will. You’ll see us talking and remember that you can never forgive me for—”
Another shake of his head silenced her. “There’s nothing to forgive, baby doll. You and I weren’t dating then. We weren’t even flirting.”
Luminous eyes pierced his soul. “But…but…that’s why you resisted me. That’s why you said we couldn’t be together. Not that I think we’re together right now,” she rushed to add.
“We’re together,” he growled, and his hard tone left no room for doubt. Just try and leave. See what happens.
Her mouth fell open, revealing those lovely white teeth, minus the fangs. “We are?”
“We are.”
“All the way?”
“All the way. I’m your consort and you’re my woman. Just mine. Do I need to wear a ring or something? Do you?” He recalled the medallions her mother and a few other Harpies had been wearing. Recalled, too, that he’d wanted to talk to her about them. “Or maybe a medallion?”
“No,” she croaked. “No rings, no medallions. Those are for warriors and mine was taken from me after…you know.”
No wonder she’d been so upset at the sight of Juliette wearing one. Well, Kaia would get her own and hers would be the best. Like her consort. Ego check. “So we’re officially going steady?”
Disappointment clouded her delicate features and damn if tears didn’t pool in her eyes. “Yes. Until the end of the games, I know.”
Whether his admission would distract her or not, he had to tell her. He couldn’t let her wallow like this. “After the games, too. And if anyone needs forgiveness, it’s me, for pushing you away as long and as harshly as I did.” As he spoke, those eyes got bigger and bigger, wetter and wetter. “I’m sorry for that, I am.” He traced her mouth with his thumb. “Believe me, I will regret that forever. Because…damn it, Kaia, I love you.”
Defeat seemed to freeze inside his head, not daring to move as he listened to the conversation. If Kaia didn’t say those words back, the demon would…what?
Don’t care. “You don’t have to say anything,” Strider went on. I’ll win her heart. And he wanted to do it without the demon’s influence. Otherwise, Kaia would never believe the feelings were his own and not born from his need for victory. “In fact, I don’t want you to say anything right now. We’ll huddle up about this after the games.”
She blinked, but gave no other indication that she’d heard what he’d said. “Huddle up? As if we’re playing a few rounds of football?”
See? She would never let him get away with anything. “You’re allowed to show a little joy about what I said, you know,” he grumbled.
Her lips pursed before quickly smoothing, as if she didn’t want to reveal a single hint of what she felt. “I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
Defeat growled, liking her response even less than Strider did.
Finally emotion peeked through Kaia’s expressionless mask and he saw a mix of fear and hope. “I love you, too, I think. I mean, I’ve never let myself consider feeling something deeper then lust, but I’ve never burned for anyone the way I burn for you. But what if I fail you? I won’t deserve you and I’ll have to let you go. You’ll want me to let you go. What if—”
He kissed her, long and hard, filling her mouth with his tongue and his taste, and demanding a response. She gave it to him, gripping his head and stealing his breath. Hearing the words I love you, even with her uncertainty accompanying them…damn. He was more revved now then he’d been seconds before getting inside her.
She. Loved. Him. No question. She might not have worked it out in her mind yet, but she loved him and the knowledge slayed him. Slayed. Him. He hadn’t realized how much he’d longed for her love until that moment.
He was king of the freaking world, man.
Defeat got his moan on.
Strider forced himself to end the kiss and rolled to his side. Kaia tried to crawl up his body, tried to finish what they’d started, but a tight grip on her waist locked her at his side. Sex, yeah, they’d go again, but apparently they had to get a few things straight first.
“You are not Kaia the Disappointment. Do you hear me? That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier. You are Kaia the Mighty. How many Harpies out there do you think could have brought down the most badass Lord of the Underworld? The same Lord who also happens to be the strongest, sexiest and smartest. And by the way, in case there’s any doubt, I’m describing me.”
“I know.” Tears leaked from her eyes and onto his chest, so hot they left little welts on his skin. “Only me?”
“That’s right. Only you. Now, challenge me to stay with you.”
She arched like a bow
against him, taut fury making her stiff. “No!”
“Kaia—”
“No. I won’t do it. I don’t care what you say. You have to stay of your own free will. Not because you don’t want to be struck with that god-awful pain from your demon.”
He didn’t want her afraid he’d leave her at any moment, though. “Do it and I’ll give you another orgasm.”
Slowly she relaxed. “Well…”
Her cell phone beeped, startling them both. Then his cell phone beeped. One they could have ignored. But both? Something had happened. They jolted up in unison.
“I bet the competition is over. My gods, my sisters. How could I have forgotten about them?” She scrambled to her discarded clothing and rifled through her shorts pockets.
He found his cell and they popped the screens at the same time. She gasped. He grunted. Then they peered over at each other, silent.
“Tell me your news first,” he said.
“They won.” She sounded dazed and unsure. “They won first place this round. They’re injured, but alive and healing. They also managed to disqualify the Skyhawks. Meaning we’re now on equal footing with my mother.”
“That’s great.” He frowned when he saw the new flood of tears tracking down her cheeks. “Right?”
“Right.” A firm nod. “My family is alive and they brought home the victory we needed. I’m so happy I could burst.”
“But?”
Her shoulders sagged. “But they did it without me,” she whispered, clearly agonized. “I didn’t help. They don’t need me. I’m a hindrance. They lose when I help, but win when I don’t.”
His chest constricted. “Baby doll, just because they won without you doesn’t mean you’re a hindrance. That just means they were better prepared this go-round.”
Silent, she dressed. He sighed and joined her, tugging on his own clothing.
“Sabin and the angels found Rhea,” he said, even though she hadn’t asked. “Or rather, they found where the goddess was supposed to be. She left in a hurry, they think, and she left days, maybe even weeks ago. Her clothes were thrown all over the place, there were white feathers on the floor and dust on everything.”
The Darkest Surrender (Hqn) Page 28
