by Alyssia Leon
“I’m so glad.” Lisa grinned back, relief lighting her eyes. “I was honestly so worried you wouldn’t survive it.”
“I’m tougher than that.” It was said more to herself than Lisa, but it still lightened her mood, almost as if she believed it. She nodded at the box. “So, all this stuff, is it for this room?”
“Yup. I’ve another in the bedroom that I’ll get on with if you can unpack this one for me?”
With a nod, Aura kneeled to deal with the box.
Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs outside the apartment and Bill walked in, a huge box held up to his chest. “It’s at times like this you wish this damn place had an elevator,” he muttered. He lowered his cargo a little and grinned at her, his gaze lingering a little over her curve-hugging olive-green t-shirt and dark jeans. “Hey, Aura.”
Aura gave a small smile back, and Lisa looked from her to him and back again, then raised her eyes heavenward. “I’ve stuff to sort in the bedroom. Keep this room clear you two, the furniture guys will be here in an hour.”
She flounced off and Bill set his box down beside the one Aura was emptying.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, heat rushing to her cheeks. They hadn’t seen each other again since that incident in the pharmacy. What on earth could she say to him? Something about the unusually sunny weather?
But Bill broke the silence. “So… Nathan’s back in London, is he?”
“Yes.” She kept her attention on the crystal tree she was carefully wrangling out of the stuffed box.
“Right… Well…”
She put the tree down on the carpet and looked at him as he kneeled beside her. Red streaks coloured his cheeks and his light blue eyes were uncertain as he regarded her.
“Bill, I’m really sorry for what happened that day. I didn’t mean—”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Who? Nathan?”
“Because if he did, I’ve no problems paying him a visit.” His eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists at his side.
“No! I mean…” She bit her lip. “Nothing other than my heart. But that’s always how these things end, isn’t it?”
“Not with me, it wouldn’t.”
“Bill…”
Agitated, he glanced away for a second then back, his earnest eyes locking to hers. “I’m not pushing, Aura, but if you need me, I’m always here for you.”
Sudden tears sprang to her eyes and she had to blink them back. She looked at him next to her, so strong, so kind, so sincere. Why hadn’t she fallen in love with him? It would have been so perfect. Instead, here she was, pining for someone who didn’t want her, when someone who did was right here.
Maybe it was time she stopped being a fool and dreaming her life away. Maybe love was something earned and given, and what she felt for Nathan was nothing more than lust dolled up, and would one day wither to nothing.
With a small smile, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
His eyes widened and he touched his skin where she’d kissed him. Then his face split into a huge grin. “I’d better get the rest of Lisa’s boxes. I left them in the foyer downstairs. Wouldn’t want some looter running off with them.” The smile still on his face, he jumped to his feet and strode out of the apartment.
She bit her lip, her brow knitting in a small frown as he left. She was doing the right thing. She had to move on. Nathan had moved on with his girlfriend, hadn’t he? She would too.
* * *
Nathan headed straight for the wide shelf lining one side of his modern office and pushed a button. A section containing a black and white framed landscape photo slid sideways and a lit minibar rolled out from behind to take its place.
He poured himself a shot of whiskey.
Normally, he wasn’t into drinking during the day. The bar was there in case he needed something to break the ice with clients. But right now, his scattered thoughts needed gathering and alcohol was as good a crutch as any.
He walked past the wide mahogany desk and came to stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, gazing down at the ant-like crowds bustling on the streets below. The late lunchtime rush was in full swing. City workers rushed to grab a bite to eat during their tiny windows of opportunity, and the more casually dressed tourists ambled leisurely, enjoying the unseasonal sunny weather in February. Past the crowds, his view extended out across the riverside part of London, broken in the middle by the stone stretch of Waterloo Bridge dotted with red double-decker buses like marching ladybirds.
He took a sip of whiskey. He had a decision to make.
When he’d returned to London from Langley two days ago, he’d dropped Oksana off at her apartment, politely declining her invitation to go inside. Aura’s rejection had still been burning in his chest, but the thought of being with Oksana instead had left a bitter taste in his mouth. He’d finished it with her then and there.
It had been easy to end things with Oksana, but Aura…
He gritted his teeth. Though his body was here in London, his mind was still in Yorkshire. He stared out at the slow River Thames, seeking solace in its rippling movement. Why was it so difficult to let go?
He’d never planned for a relationship. It left you too open to being hurt. The people whom you thought had loved you all through your life, instead used you for their own needs. At least Aura had been honest. Hadn’t she said she didn’t need him?
His jaw set. Since when did he chase after a woman? He had enough work to do now that Astreca had secured major investment. Either he got himself under control and got on with his life or…
Or what?
Or he went back to Langley and made Aura see sense.
The sudden thought brought such a rush of relief flooding through him he took a step back.
That was it.
Surely she’d see that whatever it was between them wasn’t finished. That she did in fact need him.
A knock on the door broke his thoughts, and he turned with a frown as Maria let herself in and closed the door behind her.
“I said I wasn’t to be disturbed.”
She arched her eyebrows. “You’d eat my head off if I didn’t tell you that a Ms. Travers is waiting outside to see you.”
“Ms. Travers?” His heart skipped a beat. But Aura had never adopted his father’s surname. It had to be Cathy. He nodded. “Send her in.”
Maria left and he went to his desk, setting his whiskey on it as he sat down to wait.
His mind refused to be calm.
What could bring Cathy all the way here? Was Aura all right?
A moment later, Maria knocked again and opened the door for Cathy to walk through. Nathan stood to greet her.
A nervous smile touched Cathy’s lips as she timidly approached his desk, glancing around at the modern white, black, and dark wood luxury surrounding her. “This is quite beautiful.”
“Thank you.” He indicated for her to sit on one of the black leather chairs opposite him at the desk before taking his seat again. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.” She clutched her cream handbag in her lap and shot him another nervous smile.
He glanced at Maria who nodded and stepped out of the office, closing the door after her. Cathy was fiddling with the clasp of her handbag, and a sense of foreboding rose in him. “Is everything all right… in Langley?”
“Yes. Yes, everything’s fine. Lisa’s moving into her new apartment today, and Bill and Aura are helping her.”
He should have felt relief, but hearing Bill’s name mentioned in the same breath as Aura’s had sudden rage thundering through him like he’d never experienced before. He clamped down on it, gritting his teeth, before he bit Cathy’s head off. Grabbing his whiskey tumbler, he took a sip, then placed it down and cleared his throat. “What can I do for you, Cathy?”
A sadness touched her eyes as she regarded him. “Actually, Nathan, it’s something I should have done for you… two years ago.” She unc
lasped the bag, reached in and taking out a white envelope, passed it across the desk to him.
He turned the envelope over in his hands. It was addressed to him.
“Ralph wrote this when he was in hospital recovering from that first heart attack. He didn’t give it to you then because… well, he thought you deserved a proper explanation from him, not just words on paper. But then he had that second attack two weeks later, and… well…” She glanced down at her hands, before looking back at him. “I kept it. At the time, I thought it would cause a rift between you and your mother, and she was the only close family you had left.”
His mouth thinned and he frowned at the envelope in his hands like it was Pandora’s box calling to be opened. He’d washed his hands of all connection to his father years ago. What use was a parent who’d never bothered to be with him like a son might have deserved. But there were so many unanswered questions.
“I’ll go… You must want to read in privacy.” Cathy’s voice cut into his thoughts as she stood up.
“No, stay.” It was more a plea than a command.
With a nod, she sat down again, then watched as he ripped open the envelope and unfolded the neat, handwritten letter inside.
My dearest Nathan
It must be strange reading a letter from me, especially when the things I write here are those that I should have told you face to face when you became a man. I hope you will read my words and forgive an old man for not having the courage to swallow his own pride.
I must begin by telling you how proud I am of all that you have become. There is no greater accomplishment for a father than to see his son grow up to be a better man than him in both deed and respect.
I know your memories of me are harsh, and for that I readily accept all blame. I have not been perfect, or the best of fathers, though Lord knows I tried. However, I admit my pride came between us until we were nothing more than strangers to each other.
You would not know that I am the bastard son of a woman who worked all her life as a cleaner. I had no education to speak of, and no connections to help lift me in life. I sold all of mine and my mother’s meagre belongings and took heavy loans to start my first glass factory. That, Nathan, was not the fate I wished for you.
I hope you will begin to understand why I was compelled to push you to succeed even from when you were very young. In my early days of struggle, I was often forced to bend my head to others, but I resolved you would never do so. You are my son, and you were to be equipped in the best possible way to meet anything life threw at you. And to this day, I have proudly watched you do that and more.
But in chasing after your success, I sorely neglected you in one area. I denied you the chance to know true family like I have. And by the time I realized that, it was too late. You were grown up and gone.
I must be open and honest with you now at least. If only to prevent you from making the same mistakes I made.
I married your mother in an attempt to move up the social ladder and belong to a better class than the one I was born into. But it did not matter how much money I made or how worldly I became, I was never considered one among your mother’s people. But I was at fault too. The truth of it is that my marrying Vivienne was a cold-hearted business decision. She suited what I needed to get ahead at the time.
I suppose I gave it no more thought than choosing a matching pair of shoes to go with my best suit. It certainly wasn’t the best attitude for you to be born into, nor was it fair on Vivienne that I was never fully there for her. In fact, it was my guilt over this that had me turning a blind eye when she sought solace in other mens’ arms. Any focus I could spare from my business at the time was on you and your future, and as long as she kept her affairs discrete, I was willing to overlook them and continue to fund the lifestyle she was used to.
In those first seven years of marriage, my heart did not come into the equation. But that changed the day I met my Cathy.
The day she walked into my office and agreed to take the job as my secretary was the day my life truly began. In that moment, I realized what I had been missing my entire life, and I knew she was mine and mine alone.
Having Cathy by my side, tirelessly helping me, unquestioningly loving me, was what built me and my business. I hid all this from Vivienne. I did not wish to embarrass her by making my relationship with Cathy public knowledge. But my true motivation was that it should not affect you. You were only seven years old, and it would have been emotionally devastating to know that your father did not love your mother. I also did not want Vivienne to file for divorce. She would have been entitled to half of everything I owned and the financial blow would have destroyed my hopes for your education and future.
As it happened, I succeeded in keeping my two lives separate only until you were sixteen years old. But it was inevitable that Vivienne would eventually discover the truth and demand a divorce. Cathy and I decided to sell what remained of the business and keep whatever money we made from it in an account for you to finish your education. I am proud to say that seeing the man you have become has made it all worthwhile.
Whatever you choose in life, Nathan, I hope you will continue to step forward and seize it. I will always be cheering for you, your greatest fan, who only wishes he’d let you know sooner.
Your loving father.
It was difficult to know which was heavier on his bowed shoulders, sorrow or guilt. He met Cathy’s worried gaze. “What did you really feel for my father?”
“Oh, my…” A small smile touched her lips as she remembered. “He was my other half. It sounds so trite, but that’s how it felt. After Tom died, I was so lost, but Ralph taught me to live again. A day away from him was like being adrift. That’s how I feel even now. But I wouldn’t give up those few years I had with him for anything. Life is short and everyday is precious, but sometimes we don’t realize that until it’s too late.”
He stared at her, realization lighting his mind like the first rays of dawn.
She rose to her feet again. “I’ve taken up too much of your time…”
“I’ll see you out.” He stood up, determination in every fibre of his being.
16
Aura looked at the two white flowered orchids in their matching jade-green pots, which someone had abandoned on the new plastic-wrapped living room couch. “Where do you want these orchids?” she called out.
“Kitchen,” Lisa hollered back from the bedroom next door.
Nearly four hours in and they’d managed to unpack and put away the majority of Lisa and Jason’s possessions. Her stomach grumbled in protest, all the work having built up an appetite in her, but they had to wait for Gary to get here after his work before Lisa would let them order the fish and chips and beer they’d all decided on for dinner.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Nearly half-past-five. Gary better get here soon or she was going to eat Lisa. Picking up a jade pot in each hand, she took the plants to the kitchen where Bill was checking the connections on the gas stove.
“Handy having a fireman around to do that.” She placed the pots on the windowsill, one on either end, and stood back to admire them for a second. Not that it mattered how perfect they looked there. Lisa would move them anyway.
Bill grinned. “I could do this in my sleep.” He straightened and headed for the fridge where he pulled out a large fudge-covered chocolate cake his mother had made for them to celebrate with. “You hungry? This thing has been sitting here, tempting me like candy for a kid.”
He pulled a knife from the cutlery drawer, ready to massacre the cake.
“Bill! Don’t! Lisa’ll have our hides. You know she’s waiting for Gary.”
“Blast, Gary. She can at least feed her brother and best friend properly. We’re the ones who did all the work, not him.”
“Okay, put the knife down slowly, mister, and step away from the cake. I’ll make you a cup of tea to tide you over.”
He groaned. “A little taste. She won’t know.” With a thick
finger, he scooped a dollop of fudge from the bottom of the cake and popped it in his mouth. “Mmm… See? She’ll never know.”
Aura looked at the deep furrow he’d created. “Uh-huh… It looks like a little mouse has been at it with a mousey shovel. No way is she going to miss that. You’d better cover it up.”
He frowned, and with a finger pushed fudge from above into the hollow he’d made. It looked an even bigger mess by the time he finished and another huge dollop of fudge rested on his fingertip.
He held it out to her.
Her gaze flew to his. His blue eyes were intent and his jaw had a determined set as if daring her.
Why not?
She took a step forward, not taking her eyes from his, and grasping his hand in hers, softly licked the fudge from his finger.
His eyes lit up and he grinned at her.
She smiled back, ignoring the tiny voice that clamoured in her head saying he didn’t affect her like Nathan had. Where was the thrill? The deep curling need in her core? Damn Nathan. He’d taken everything, even her ability to feel. Why couldn’t she just forget him? He had no place in her life anymore.
But the burn of guilt didn’t ease from her cheeks, and she turned away from Bill to busy herself with the kettle. “I’ll make us some tea.”
The doorbell rang just as she finished making their tea, and Lisa’s voice came from the bedroom. “That’s Gary. Can one of you get it?”
“I’ll go. You have your tea.” She handed a mug to Bill and headed into the living room to open the front door.
Gary stood outside, a long coat over his suit and his briefcase in hand.
“Gary. Brilliant, now we can eat,” she said with a grin.
He pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled back rather nervously. “Hi Aura… um… someone to see you.” His eyes flicked sideways.
She poked her head out the front door to look, and Nathan straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the wall outside the apartment.
Her mouth fell open and she could only stare, her starved eyes taking in every precious detail, barely noticing when Gary scooted past her into the apartment.
