by Nola Cross
Hawk’s Promise
by
Nola Cross
Hawk’s Promise
Copyright © 2017, Nola Cross
ISBN: 9781944270599
Publisher: Beachwalk Press, Inc.
Electronic Publication: February 2017
Editor: Kelly Anderson
Cover: Fantasia Frog Designs
eBooks are not transferable. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in articles and reviews.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.
Back Cover Copy
When an old friendship promises to become so much more.
Desiree Taylor was just ten years old when Hawk Ironcloud joined the army. The young man she had come to think of as her big brother disappeared from her life, but she’ll never forget him. No man she met afterward could ever measure up to Hawk. More than a decade later a sudden family tragedy reunites the two of them. Now an adult, Desi finds herself plagued by a whole new set of powerful and confusing emotions.
Hawk has learned from hard experience that he’s just no good at relationships. When Desi comes back into his life he struggles to deny his feelings for her. When that doesn’t work he pushes her away—for her own good. But circumstances throw them together again, and this time there’s no turning away from the smoldering attraction that flares up between them.
Now Hawk and Desi must decide whether they are stuck in the role of brother and sister or old friends, or can they become something much more?
Content Warning: contains adult language and sensual sex scenes
Dedication
For Dr. Andrea Lange, whose extraordinary skills and remarkable compassion gave me back my life.
Prologue
Hawk Ironcloud leaned forward and brushed his knuckles against the little girl’s smooth, brown cheek. His hand came away wet, and more bright tears trembled on her lower lashes.
God! I must be the world’s biggest shit for making Desiree cry. I should have left in the middle of the night, like I first planned to.
“Look, I’d stay if I could, Desi. You know that. But your dad and I, we just can’t seem to work things out. Mom and I have lived here almost a year now, and things are getting worse with your dad, not better. I gotta go.” He gave her chin a playful little punch. “Come on now, let’s see one of your beautiful smiles before I leave.”
“But where are you going?” Her voice quivered as she swiped at her eyes. “Where will you sleep?”
“I’ve joined the Army, Pigeon. Mom signed the papers last week and I report at Fort Lewis day after tomorrow.” He was allowing an extra day for travel, always a good idea when you’re hitching, even though the trip north on the interstate was only one hundred twenty miles.
“The Army?” She burst into a fresh volley of tears. “You mean with guns and stuff? With soldiers?”
“Yeah.” A rush of raw fear riffled through his belly. He shoved it down. “But don’t worry. I’m sure they won’t send me anyplace dangerous.”
“Do you promise?”
Her big eyes searched his face. Could she see past the shine of his bravado? The Iraq War that had started the year before showed no sign of winding down, and the sergeant at the recruiting office last week hadn’t offered any guarantees about where he’d end up after basic training. But Desi was just ten. She had no idea what madness was going on in the world outside her own neighborhood. There was no reason to tell her the truth when a lie would make her feel better.
“I’ll be safe, I promise.” He stood and grabbed his backpack, ready to sling it over his shoulder. Then he hesitated. He set the pack down on the top step and knelt low beside her. “You have to make me a promise too, Desi.”
“What?” Her expression was solemn as she waited for him to speak.
How could he put this? She was so little, so innocent. Her body was still flat and slim, a child’s body. But he could tell she’d be a beauty someday soon. The guys would be all over her, and he wouldn’t be there to protect her. God knew her father wouldn’t step in and do anything. Jordan Taylor survived from one nose full of coke to the next.
Hawk cleared his throat. “You know, you’re a real pretty girl, Pigeon. Too pretty, maybe.”
She ducked her head and looked pleased.
“Boys are going to want to—that is, some boys might try to...” What words did a big brother use at a time like this? He wasn’t her brother exactly, but the closest thing she had to one. And he’d gotten pretty attached to her in the ten months they’d lived under the same roof. He rushed ahead, his voice coming out much harsher than he intended. “Don’t let anybody kiss you or do other stuff, okay? They might try to trick you into it.”
Her eyes were huge. “What kind of tricks?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He couldn’t look her in the face. “They might say stuff like they love you, when all they want to do is get in your pants.”
“Get in my pants?” She giggled. “Boys don’t wear girl’s pants, you silly-head.”
He smiled, his throat aching. God, he was going to miss this sweet little kid. Why did her dad have to be such a dick?
“Just remember what I said, okay? Don’t kiss any guy unless you really love him.”
He straightened and knocked a cigarette from the pack in his shirt pocket. He lit it, keeping his gaze on the flame. He drew the smoke deep into his lungs, feeling himself relax a little. Everything is gonna be okay. This is a good plan. The best I can come up with. It’s time to get on with my life. In two months I’ll be eighteen. A man.
A sudden force of energy exploded against his waist, nearly knocking him over. Desiree grabbed hold of him and held on tight.
“Don’t go, Hawk! Don’t go. Please.”
For several seconds he stood motionless as the lump in his throat grew to the size of a melon. He let his hand come to rest on the top of her head, stroking the springy curls while he searched for something to say. At last he blew out a long stream of blue smoke, then bent and touched his lips—just for a moment—to the part in her hair. She smelled like strawberry candy.
“I’ll be back, Pigeon,” he whispered. “I promise. I’ll be back.”
Chapter 1
Desi stood in the jostling line of other graduating students. On stage the Dean of Students, Beth Fender, was calling off the names of her classmates, and one by one they were to climb the five steps, walk across the stage, and receive their diplomas. It was almost her turn. Her stomach churned with excitement and nerves.
She glanced up into the auditorium seats, hoping she could spot Dovie or—if some kind of a miracle had happened—her dad. But the lights had been dimmed in the big room, and even her grandmother’s bright pink blouse wasn’t visible. Still, she had a warm sensation, as if someone who held her in the highest regard was watching.
If not for her grandmother, Desi knew she wouldn’t be standing there today. She would have abandoned her dream of a nursing career years ago and gotten some dead-end fast food job. Anything to get out of the house and away from the oppressive pall of her father’s addiction. But her grandmother hadn’t let her give up. When she’d begun to fall behind in high school, Dovie had transferred her to Horizon View alternative school, where each student learned at his or her own pace and got lots of one-on-one attention. It was her counselor at Horizon View who first encouraged her to look into the nursing program at nearby Clark College.
It had taken her an extra year, but Desi was graduating today with an Associate’s Degree and all the credits required to be admitted into the coll
ege’s nursing program. Her pulse fluttered with excitement at the thought. Sure, she’d still have to work part-time, but she loved her job as a nursing assistant in the ER at Peace Memorial, and she was getting all kinds of practical experience there. Nothing was going to stop her from reaching her goal. Three years from now she should graduate from the prestigious program as a registered nurse.
“Sky’s the limit,” she whispered to herself. Then she grinned. That was so something her grandmother would say.
“Desiree Taylor.” Her name echoed through the auditorium.
Somehow, she found herself putting one foot in front of the other, walking toward Dean Fender with a smile fixed on her lips. Her long blue gown brushed against her ankles. The gold tassel on her cap swung free, catching the light like a dancing moth.
There was a smattering of polite applause as she took her diploma, and Dean Fender shook her hand and said, “Congratulations, Desiree.” And then she was walking down the steps on the other side of the stage. She made her way through the side exit door and out into the warm summer evening.
Ignoring the other students who milled about, laughing and horsing around, Desi walked to a nearby bench and sat down. Then she opened the thick, black cover of the diploma and read the engraved words for herself. Desiree Vanessa Taylor is hereby granted—
“Dovie!” It was a man’s sharp voice, coming from a distance.
Desi glanced toward the sound. Through the milling crowd of young people she spotted her grandmother in her bright clothes. Even from half a block away, Dovie was hard to miss. She’d been walking briskly toward Desi, but now she stopped and turned toward a tall man in a gray suit who sprinted toward her. One of her professors? No, a staff member would never call her grandmother by her first name. Besides, this man had a long, dark ponytail. None of her professors had long hair.
Desi squinted in the gathering dusk, but she couldn’t make out who the man was. He was too far away and had his back to her now. But he must be someone Dovie knew well. She saw her grandmother reach out and put her hand on the man’s arm. They stood close together chatting for some time, and then the man handed something to Dovie, turned, and walked away.
* * * *
Hawk walked back to where he’d parked his car on the other side of the college campus. Far enough from the main parking lot that there was no chance he’d run into Desiree by accident.
You’re a coward, man.
Yeah. That was true.
“I’m sure Desi would love to see you after all these years,” Dovie had said. “Won’t you come back to the house for some cake? It’s chocolate fudge. Your favorite kind as I recall.”
His heart cracked open just a sliver. Imagine Dovie remembering how much he’d loved that dark, decadent cake! Served, no doubt, with vanilla ice cream and a drizzle of chocolate sauce like always. He was half-tempted to turn around and flag her down. But what about Jordan Taylor? He hadn’t known how to ask Dovie if her good-for-nothing son still lived with them. No way would he chance running into Desi’s father again. Their meeting might well turn into an ugly confrontation that would spoil Desiree’s special day.
You’re a liar and a coward.
Yes, that was true as well. If he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t the thought of facing Jordan Taylor that kept him walking on now toward his car. After two tours of duty in the Middle East, it would take more than a broken-down cokehead with a nasty attitude to keep him away.
It was Desi herself who scared him.
My God. What had happened to that little girl?
When he’d decided to come today, at Dovie’s written invitation, he’d been fool enough to imagine the girl looking pretty much the same as when he’d left eleven years ago. That was just plain crazy, and he knew that, at least in theory. Just as he had grown from a kid who’d needed his mother’s permission to enlist in the Army, to a man nearing thirty, Desi had morphed from a child into a woman. Dovie had sent him a recent photo, a headshot from her yearbook, but somehow Desi’s complete transformation hadn’t sunk in until he saw her walk across that stage.
He’d brought his little sports binoculars, so even from the highest seat in the auditorium he caught every detail. Smooth, caramel-colored skin, full red lips. Exotic dark eyes and brows like the wings of a raven. And when she walked, it was with a presence and grace far beyond that of a woman in her early twenties. She stood out from her classmates like a queen among peasants. Seeing the proud thrust of her breasts against the fabric of the blue robe, Hawk’s heart had begun to pound like one of his mother’s deerskin drums. He’d been right about Desi growing up to be a beauty. But she was far more breathtaking than he could have imagined.
So what are you afraid of, man? Why not drop by the house for a slice of cake before driving on home tonight? If Desi’s dad was there, they could certainly be civil to each other for the half hour or so it would take to finish his dessert and give the girl his congratulations.
But there were bound to be questions too, questions he sure as hell wasn’t ready to answer.
“No thanks, Dovie,” he’d said. “I’ve got a two-hour drive back to Tacoma tonight, and I have to be at the garage first thing in the morning.” He’d smiled down at her.
“Are you ever going to tell Desi all you’ve done for her?” The old woman put her hand on his arm, her brown eyes full of affection.
“No reason to. And you’re still under oath not to say anything. Agreed?”
“I’ve never said a thing, just like you wanted. I’ve let our girl assume that it was me who somehow came up with the extra money for that little car of hers, and the braces for her teeth, plus books and tuition. But it isn’t right, Hawk. She needs to know the truth.”
He took the envelope from the pocket inside his jacket and handed it to her.
“This will help with her tuition this fall. Nursing certification, right?”
Tears glistened in Dovie’s eyes as she nodded. “You’re a good man, Hawk Ironcloud. Your mother would be proud. She was proud of you.”
At the mention of his mom, his fingers moved toward the charm he always wore on the leather cord around his neck. It took all his willpower to drop his hand without touching the small silver feather. But his belly roiled anyway. Only he knew the truth: if he hadn’t taken a powder, his mom might still be alive. That bitter lesson still gave him nightmares.
“I do what I can. Now that Mom’s gone, you and Desi are the closest thing I have to family. A man does for his family.” Just because his old man had taken off when he was a kid didn’t mean all the Ironcloud men were irresponsible assholes.
She’d nodded as she folded the envelope in half and stuck it into her handbag, then stood motionless on the sidewalk as he’d turned and walked away.
Now he started the car, taking time to adjust the radio dial to a smooth jazz station and roll down the windows. The warm smells of the summer night filled the car. From across the football field, the celebratory whoops and hollers of the graduates carried to him on a little breeze. He thought once more about turning the car away from the freeway home and heading instead for Dovie’s house in north Portland. He imagined himself sitting once again at her old, yellow Formica kitchen table, eating the luscious cake with Dovie and Desi and maybe even Desi’s old man. Should be easy, right?
But the feeling of trepidation rose in him again. He poked at it some more.
Why should an older brother be afraid to pay a visit home to his little sister? He rested his forehead on the steering wheel for a moment, trying to conjure the image of that ten-year-old child he’d left on the porch so long ago. He should be able to resurrect that memory, right? Wasn’t it the one he’d carried in his head all these years?
But all he could remember was the way the auditorium lights had bounced off the shimmering wealth of Desi’s black curls, the inviting beacon of her ripe lips, the soft, generous curves of her breasts. He let out a low groan as he allowed the truth to unfurl in him: the feelings he’d just
discovered he had for Desi Taylor were far, far from brotherly.
* * * *
Desi opened the door of her lime green Volkswagen Beetle and tossed her backpack on the floor of the back seat. She gave a loud sigh as she slid behind the wheel. “Offloading those books always makes me feel six inches taller.”
Her best friend Tracy flopped down into the passenger seat. “I know what you mean. With the class load I’m taking this term, my spine has developed a permanent question mark.”
There was a sudden movement outside Desi’s window and a sharp rapping sound on the glass. She jumped and then gave a giggle of relief as she saw Tim Rush standing there, grinning and motioning for her to roll down the window. The brisk October day had made his cheeks and the end of his nose all rosy. Even so, he was what she knew the other girls would consider a hunk: wavy blond hair, even features, wide shoulders.
“Hey, Desi.” His blue eyes roved over her in a friendly, familiar way as her window lowered.
“Hey, Tim.” She knew well what was coming next.
“Heading out? Thought maybe you’d like to grab a burger with me. Maybe we can go over those anatomy lecture notes.” He ignored Tracy.
“Sorry. I’ve got just twenty minutes to get to work.” She put on a regretful smile and pointed toward her backpack. “I’m afraid it’s a peanut butter sandwich at the nurses’ station for me tonight.”
He leaned in, resting his folded arms on the rim of her window. “When are you gonna say yes, Desi? You know you want to.” His voice dropped into a suggestive timbre. She knew he was used to getting his way with the women he set his sights on.
Desi sighed. Honesty would be the best policy, right? “You know, Tim, between classes and my job at the hospital, I just don’t have the energy for seeing anyone right now, not even you. But I appreciate your friendship.” There, she hoped that would rebuff him once and for all while leaving his ego intact.
