by Nola Cross
But there was still one topic she was careful to avoid. Declaring her feelings for him would be a serious mistake. That much she knew for sure.
Everything else got mighty hazy now as his arms encircled her and his lips came down on hers. His kiss was hungry, demanding.
“Don’t leave me, Dez,” he whispered after a moment, pressing his lips to her hair.
“But I have to, silly. It’s called quarantine for a reason.”
He pulled back and stared down at her, the muscles in his jaw working. The expression in his eyes had softened, but a focused intensity remained, gleaming like polished onyx. After a moment he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “That’s not what I mean. I mean if something were to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
Desi stared back at him, holding her breath. This was the closest he’d ever come to making a declaration of love. If she answered in kind, baring her heart, would he freak out? Would she lose touch with him again like she had after the engagement party?
She couldn’t take the chance. Pasting on a cheery smile, she gave him a playful tap on the chin and did her best imitation of their favorite action hero. “Not to worry. I’ll be back.”
* * * *
Two weeks later, Hawk strode through the entrance of Peace Memorial Medical Center and headed for the elevator to the second floor. By now he knew the way through the maze of unmarked doors and hallways that led to the isolation unit and the small visitors’ area. There, a grouping of upholstered chairs and a vending machine faced a tiny room that was walled off by an expanse of thick, reinforced Plexiglas. Desi would be waiting inside that room for him, and they’d have a precious hour together, laughing and talking through the special two-way receivers.
And on Friday, five days from now, the three-week quarantine would be over and she’d be free to come home with him. A little thrill of anticipation raced through him as he imagined holding her in his arms once again. He’d already made reservations at ‘their’ Hyatt so they’d have lots of privacy to celebrate her homecoming. He couldn’t wait to show her how much he’d missed her. They’d kept in touch the last two weeks through email and online messaging, but it wasn’t the same as being able to reach out and touch her.
As he pushed through the last door to the visitors’ area he broke into a happy grin. He just couldn’t help it. Being with Desiree—even when he couldn’t touch her—was better than being anywhere else. The simple truth of his happiness needed no further analysis.
Desi was already seated on the other side of the window. Hawk grabbed a chair and pulled it up close on his side. That was when he noticed her somber expression.
“What’s wrong, Dez?” An unnamed fear unfurled in his gut. He saw now that her lashes were all spikey with tears.
“Our Ebola patient died this morning.”
“What!” The bottom dropped out of his reality. “In your last email you said he was getting better with treatment.”
“He had been.” She shrugged. “And then he took a turn.” She blew her nose on a wadded tissue and leaned toward him. In a half-whisper she said, “And Dr. Ratcliff just tested positive.”
His heart churned in his chest. “Who’s Dr. Ratcliff?”
“The doc who treated him that day in the ER.”
“The doc you worked with?”
She nodded.
Stunned, Hawk leaned away and scrubbed his hands back through his hair. His mouth went as dry as the Afghan desert. This was not the way things were supposed to go. “What about you? How are you feeling?”
“Huh? Oh, I’m fine. Fine.” She gave him a watery smile. “When classes start I’ll be weeks ahead in all my textbooks.”
“Seriously, Dez? Jokes?”
“I’m not joking. If I don’t keep my mind busy by studying, I start having all these scary thoughts.”
She lifted her gaze to his and he was smacked by a wave of love and admiration so powerful it almost knocked him off his chair. He jumped up and paced toward the vending machine. Leaning one hand against the glass-and-metal casing, he stared at the neat rows of candy bars, nuts, and chips.
Shit. If the doctor has come down with Ebola, Desi could be next. What then?
He turned and looked back over his shoulder at her, his guts roiling. His throat ached with unspoken fear. He couldn’t stand to lose her. She was everything to him.
Brushing against the spot where the amulet lay beneath his shirt, the full extent of his predicament became clear. He hadn’t meant to give his heart away, but in spite of all his precautions he’d fallen in love with her. Hopelessly, completely in love. Any plans he might have had about managing his emotions, keeping them locked safe inside, were exposed now as pure, wishful thinking.
Damn! Damn! How had he let this happen?
More important, how could he control the damage?
Chapter 23
When Desi woke on Friday morning, the first thing she did was place the back of her hand to her forehead. It felt cool. But just to be sure, she reached for the thermometer she’d placed on the bedside table the night before. Yes! The digital readout verified her impression. Her temp was normal. Her temp was normal!
Once Dr. Jonas confirmed she was okay and the quarantine was lifted, she’d be going home.
Going home.
What did that mean? She wished now she had driven herself there as she’d first intended. It would have been a simple thing to hop in her little green car and buzz out of there. Should she call her dad or Tracy to come get her? No doubt they were both anxious to hear from her this morning. Her dad had said on the phone last night that he and Seville wanted to take her and her housemates out for a celebratory dinner. That could be fun. She’d missed being with all of them these past three weeks, even with their frequent visits.
Or would Hawk decide to show up? She frowned as she threw back the blanket and worked her feet into her slippers. She had no idea what to expect from him. He’d been distant since his visit last Sunday, when she’d told him about the patient dying and Dr. Ratcliff testing positive.
She had sensed him pulling away from her that day like a tortoise withdrawing into its shell. He was no doubt scared, like she had been. She could understand that. Maybe if she’d been able to touch him, to draw him into a kiss, she could have kept him in the moment with her. But over the course of their hour together he’d gotten even more laconic. In the end she’d excused herself and gone back to her room, releasing him to return to Tacoma.
Since then she’d had a brief email from him, but he’d only talked about how the remodel of South Bay Classics was going. She’d written back, making a point to ask if he’d be there to pick her up when she was discharged. He hadn’t responded.
It was pretty clear that he was trying to find a way to backpedal out of this relationship. If relationship was what you could call this on-again, off-again dance they’d been doing for the last four months. She grimaced as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and loaded her toothbrush with whitening toothpaste.
She had no one but herself to blame. He’d tried from the beginning to tell her he didn’t do romance, that he wasn’t ready for any long-term involvement, and she’d gone ahead and let herself fall in love with him anyway. What kind of desperate, stupid girl did that? Sure, they’d had fun this summer, and the frequent sex had been more than amazing, but as soon as things got real last weekend, he’d made good on his word and bailed.
She shouldn’t have expected more.
A single tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped it away just as an authoritative knock came on the door. “Come in,” she called, spitting into the sink.
A middle-aged male nurse peered around the door, garbed according to quarantine protocol in double scrubs, double gloves, and a full-face shield and respirator.
Desi forced herself to smile. “Hi, Darrell. Guess what? No temp. I’m so outta here today.”
Darrell high-fived her, a huge grin splitting his round face. “You know I have to c
onfirm that, right?”
He turned to the little supply cart he’d wheeled in and slipped a fresh cover on the oral thermometer. Moments later the thing beeped and he offered her a second high-five.
“Okay. Just let me get your blood pressure one last time, and Dr. Jonas has ordered one last CBC and metabolic panel. I’m gonna need your blood, sister.”
Desi sat on the bed and watched as Darrell wrapped the cuff around her arm and inflated it.
“Your BP is up a little,” he told her, entering the result in his computer.
“Yeah. I’m not surprised. I’m pretty excited about getting out of here. I’ve had about enough of sitting around reading and watching daytime television.”
“I can just imagine. Little poke here,” he warned. He collected two vials of blood and stripped off the outer pair of gloves. “Well, it’s been great getting to know you as a patient, Desiree. Maybe we’ll work together one of these days.”
“That would be fun,” she said, waving goodbye as Darrell wheeled his cart out the door.
Twenty minutes later Dr. Jonas herself stopped in and presented Desi with discharge papers.
“How’s Dr. Ratcliff doing?”
“He’s responding well to treatment.” The white-haired woman smiled. “You and Nurse Cameron were lucky. You’re both being discharged today. Of course I’ll want to hear right away if anything changes.”
“Of course,” Desi assured her.
After the doc left, she looked at the clock. Almost ten-thirty. If Hawk was going to be there, she would have heard from him by now. Biting back her disappointment she squared her shoulders and dialed Tracy, making arrangements to be picked up at the south entrance in half an hour. Then she called her father to let him know she was being released. Was it her imagination, or did her dad’s voice have a little catch to it as they said goodbye?
After dressing in street clothes, she fixed her hair and put on some lipstick, then packed all her belongings. In a few moments an orderly arrived with a wheelchair and took her down to the south entrance doors. As she walked out into the late morning sunshine, she spotted Tracy’s car in a shaded area across the parking lot. She turned and headed in that direction.
“Dez.”
Her heart lurched. She swung around to find Hawk leaning against the wall of the building not far from the doors, his arms folded across his chest. She dropped her suitcase and valise at her feet.
“Hawk! You’re here.” Joy pounded through her veins as he straightened and walked toward her. Her heart fluttered and spun like a pinwheel in the wind.
He frowned. “Where else would I be?”
“How did you know I’d be getting out today for sure?”
“I didn’t, but I know you, and it seemed like a good bet.” He grinned as he stopped in front of her, just inches away. He looked amazing in his faded jeans and snug black t-shirt. A little breeze brought her the clean, masculine scent of his skin and hair. “Are you okay, Dez?”
She nodded. She was more than okay now that he was there.
“Then come here.” He reached out and encircled her waist with his strong hands, pulling her body against his. She melted into his embrace.
“Oh, Hawk,” she whispered. “When I didn’t hear from you I thought—”
His mouth was on hers then, coaxing her lips apart, insistent and arousing. She moaned as her body responded to him, her nipples hardening beneath her light summer jacket. Thrills of sensation danced over her skin.
“Oh. My. God. I’ve missed you so much, Hawk.”
“Me too, Dez. Me too.”
They stood motionless for a long moment, their foreheads touching. Desi let her eyes drift closed, giving herself to the overwhelming happiness that bubbled up inside her. He hadn’t run away. He was right there, warm and solid. Sexy as hell. And that was enough for her.
That was enough for her! She blinked her eyes open, stunned by this new realization. Could it be true? Her heart swelled with a fresh rush of affection for him and a sensation of freedom she’d never experienced before. Yes. Yes, it was true. She didn’t need anything more from him. No promises. No binding ties. She would take Hawk Ironcloud on his own terms and love him for as long as he would have her.
As the pure elation whirled and settled in her heart, Hawk nuzzled her ear. She heard him take a deep breath.
“I love you, Desiree,” he whispered.
At first she thought she’d imagined those words. She stared at him, trying to figure out what was going on. “What?”
He cupped her face in his hands and gave her a quick, fierce kiss. “I said I love you.”
“You do?”
He nodded, took a step back, and ran his hands through his hair. Then he folded his arms over his chest again. Understanding the self-protective gesture, her heart broke open.
“Thank you for telling me. I love you too.” She grabbed one of his hands and brought it to her lips, turning it to kiss the silvery scars on his palm.
“What now?” he asked.
His eyes held a guarded expression. Now that he’d bared his soul, he was probably afraid she’d try to pin him down, railroad him into some kind of commitment. Recognizing the courage it had taken him to come this far, all she wanted was to ease his mind.
She smiled and waggled her brows. “Now we tell Tracy to go on home, and you and I go find a private room where we can get naked and do naughty things to each other all day and all night.”
A relieved grin lit up his face. “I like how you think, woman.”
She put her hand in his and together they crossed the parking lot.
Epilogue
This last week of the year the community center was still decorated for Christmas, which Paul had declared was perfect. He had always wanted a Christmas wedding. Wes didn’t care one way or another, he said he was just happy to be marrying the love of his life. The simple ceremony had just wrapped up, and the small crowd of forty or so guests milled around the room, watching as the photographer—Wes’s Aunt Judy—snapped some candid shots of the two handsome grooms.
Behind them, a buffet luncheon had been laid out, an impressive tower of frothy white cupcakes stealing the show in the center of the long table. Hawk held on to Desi’s hand and led her toward the food.
“That was a nice ceremony, wasn’t it?” she said.
She turned and smiled at him, and his heart began to beat an uneven tattoo. She was knockout gorgeous today in her short, bright red dress. The festive color complemented the golden tones of her skin and made her amber eyes seem even bigger and full of mysterious allure.
“Yeah, it was great.” He swallowed hard. He had no idea how it was even possible, but he was falling more in love with this woman with each passing day. And the craziest thing about it was there was no pain, no angst. Desi made loving her an easy thing to do, even for a broken man like him.
“Mmm. This cheese is fantastic.” She nibbled at the edge of a little yellow cube and then popped the rest of it into her mouth.
Lucky cheese.
“Want some?” she asked.
He grinned and shook his head. “Feasting on cheese isn’t what I have in mind at the moment.”
Picking up on his thoughts, she giggled and gave him a little slap on the hand. “Save those ideas for later, sailor.”
“You can count on it.”
Since that morning in September when he’d met her at the hospital doors, they’d come a long way. Now they spent all their free time together, usually at his place. It had been his idea to check out the University of Washington nursing program at the Tacoma campus. He’d found out Desi could transfer all her existing credits and work experience and get her degree in just a year. When he’d shared that information with her, her eyes had welled up with tears, but she’d been unable to explain what those tears were about.
Over time, he had come to trust her utterly. He was even beginning to trust himself. Maybe he could do this relationship after all. Desi seemed to believe in him; he
was going to follow her lead and believe more in himself.
His fingers brushed his shirtfront, reaching out of habit for the silver amulet. But the little feather charm was not there. For a split second he panicked. Then he smiled and reached into his jacket pocket to make sure the little velvet box he carried was secure.
The jeweler had thought he was nuts last month when he’d asked for a custom-designed ring that would incorporate the silver from the amulet, but in the end the swirl of silver surrounding the bright white diamond made a spectacular setting. He knew Desi would love it. He had just been waiting for the perfect moment to give it to her.
Wes and Paul approached the buffet. With one arm entwined, they raised glasses of wine and toasted each other. Aunt Judy snapped several photos.
“Let’s eat cake now!” Paul yelled, and everyone laughed. Odds were that wasn’t his first glass of wine
“Hey, Paul,” someone called out, “how does it feel to marry the love of your life?”
Paul’s face grew somber as he looked into Wes’s eyes. Wes stared back with matching affection. “I wouldn’t want to miss the next fifty years. I’m pretty sure they’re going to be fucking awesome.”
A cacophony of cheers and clapping broke out in the room.
Hawk’s gaze sought Desi’s. She was staring back at him. Without a word she reached out and took his free hand.
I love you, she mouthed then.
“I love you too,” he said.
Imagine...fifty years! All of a sudden the last of his doubts dissolved. He wanted to try for it. With Desi. He wanted it all with her. The great sex, the cozy home, maybe a kid or two. There would be challenges, sure, but so far they’d done a pretty good job of helping each other through.
The little velvet box tumbled restlessly in his pocket.
