by M. D. Melai
Wow I was not expecting that at all.
I hesitated for a moment before I answered, playing everything he had said over and over in my head. He had hurt me, but was I willing to continue to harbor all that anger towards him? It had been eight months, and now he was here opening himself up to me. I could tell that it hurt him to relive those years as he told me about them, but he did it anyway. He truly cared about me enough to do that.
He even apologized and wanted to move forward. Maybe it was time I did the same. I could be friends with Lucas. We always had a good time together, and he constantly kept a smile on my face. Plus, I have missed having someone around that knew me… the real me.
I raised my eyes to meet his gaze, and without hesitation, I spoke.
“I forgive you.”
And just like that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
***
Emily came over early the next morning. I made both of us breakfast and she began telling me about her night with Gabriel. He had picked her up at seven and took her to ‘the most beautiful place she’s ever seen.’ After that, he took her back to his place where they talked all night long. When she left his place this morning, he kissed her and asked her if she would want to go out again. She, of course, said yes and they had planned to go out next weekend. She immediately made her way over here to tell me.
“It sounds like you had an amazing time,” I said.
“I did, and I can’t wait to go out next weekend. I have a feeling after that night we’ll be official. So, what did you do last night? Did you hang out with Miguel?” she asked, teasing me.
“Actually, no. You remember that guy from the coffee shop yesterday?” I asked.
“Oh, the one with the dreamy blue eyes?”
“Yes, I went out with him last night.”
“What? Start talking girl!”
“Do you remember when we first became friends and I told you why I came over here? How I needed a break from my life and that I was mixed up in that awful love triangle?” It was the truth—kind of.
“Yes, go on!”
“Well, ‘mister dreamy with blue eyes’ is Lucas,” I said waiting for her to respond.
“Wait, that was Lucas? How could it possibly be a competition between the two when he looks like that!”
“Because you haven’t seen Emilio,” I sighed as I pictured Emilio in my mind.
Emily begged me to see a picture of Emilio, but I didn’t have one. She asked if he had anything, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and I just laughed at her. If she knew Emilio, then she might have laughed with me. I think he’d rather be shot than have to deal with any sort of social media.
I did try my best to describe him to her. My words could not do him justice though.
She then asked me to explain the love triangle in greater detail now that she had seen Lucas and had a better idea of Emilio. I explained to her as much as I could without going into even greater detail about my life back home.
Now that she knew mostly everything, she promised to stop teasing me so much about Miguel. She now knew how broken I actually was and how much I didn’t need a man in my life right now. She understood Lucas and Miguel were just going to be my friends, and that old wounds took time to heal.
The day passed by quickly as we gave ourselves a spa day of our own. We did each other’s nails and experimented with a new face mask that she wanted to try.
Violet had called around lunchtime and asked how the conversation with Lucas had gone. I assured her that everything went very well and we were on speaking terms. She seemed happy with that answer.
As much fun as Emily was, I missed Violet. I hadn’t seen her in three months. It was the longest we had ever gone without seeing each other. We talked almost every day, but it just wasn’t the same.
Emily stayed and ate dinner with me. I really liked the company of having her here. Once she left, I would, once again, be alone. I didn’t mind it so much at first, because I didn’t really have any friends, but now that I did, I realized how lonely I actually was.
After she left, I cleaned the apartment from the mess we had made. By the time I finished it was getting fairly late. There wasn’t much left to do, so I made my way to my bedroom and out onto the terrace. I laid on one of the lounge chairs and looked up at the sky.
More had happened in the past few days than I had ever expected. Miguel thought that we had a moment Friday night, Lucas had come back into my life, and my old life started catching up to me at rapid speed. Plus, I had found out even more information about my family, Lucas, and the Heinrichs. How was it that there were so many secrets and things I didn’t know? This was how I knew how screwed up my old life really was.
I was silently sitting there contemplating everything, when I heard a knock come from the front door. I wasn’t sure if it had been my door, so I waited a moment, and then I heard it again. I reluctantly got up from the lounge chair and made my way back into the house when I heard the knock again.
“I’m coming,” I yelled out. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to stop by tonight, and I was really hoping it wasn’t Miguel stopping by to talk again. I was tired and I had had a long day.
There wasn’t a peep hole, so I had no idea who was on the other side of the door. I slowly opened it, and there he stood, the last person I thought would ever come to see me.
“Hey, I need a favor,” Lucas said.
Chapter 15
The smell of pancakes cooking woke me up the next morning. It confused me for a second, and I wondered if the smell was coming from my kitchen and then I remembered, it had to be Lucas making both of us breakfast.
When he came by last night he asked me for a favor. He brought me the termination of his lease and said that there was another person leasing the apartment after him. While he still had some time to find another place, he came straight to me and asked if he could move in rather than search for a new place. We stayed up late in to the night talking about it. I told him how sudden this was and I didn’t know if it was a good idea or not. He said that he could find another place, but since I knew he was here and he could better protect me, it seemed like the obvious choice to him.
After talking it over, I agreed, but I gave him some rules. He would be sleeping on the futon in the guest bedroom and I told him not to interfere too much with my new life. I liked the way things were going and I didn’t want his moving in to ruin that. In return, he said he would pay half the bills and promised to do the cooking and cleaning, but told me I was on my own with the laundry.
I got dressed, headed down the hall, and turned into the kitchen. Lucas was finishing up the last batch of pancakes and he had bacon sizzling in the skillet.
“Good morning,” he said with a wide smile on his face.
“Good morning. Someone’s in a good mood,” I replied as I opened the refrigerator and grabbed the carton of milk.
“When I woke up this morning things just felt different, better I guess,” he said flipping over the remaining pancake.
I really didn’t know how to respond to that. I knew that a huge weight lifted after we talked the other night, but I wasn’t willing to admit that to him just yet. My feelings for him romantically didn’t change and I didn’t want to give him false hope.
“I’m glad things are better,” I said as he handed me my plate. “What do you want to drink? Milk, juice, wine,” I said with a light laugh.
“I think I’ll just stick with my coffee, but thanks,” he said as he turned off the stove and grabbed his plate and cup.
He followed me into the dining room and took a seat right next to me. We ate in silence and it felt really awkward. I knew with him moving in that it was inevitable. I just hoped that the awkward moments between us would soon pass.
“So did you have anything planned for today?” Lucas asked me as we were both finishing up.
“I have the afternoon shift at work today, so I’ll be heading up there about one. And run, of course.”
“Cool. I was thinking about going for a run too. Do you care if I join you?” he asked.
“Only if you can keep up,” I replied.
“Challenge accepted,” he said as he winked at me, before taking both of our plates and heading to the kitchen.
***
It took us twenty minutes to jog to the beach. Lucas kept up with me pretty well, but I could tell I was in better shape than him, which I felt good about. Lucas graciously bowed out while I continued to run down the beach. He decided he would use the weightlifting equipment available on the beach instead. He told me if I needed anything just to call him, if not, then he would see me when I got back.
I knew he was there to make sure I was okay, but it felt as if I had a bodyguard again, and I was not comfortable with that. Lucas seemed to be doing a good job at keeping his distance, but I still felt like I was being chained down already.
Being constantly watched over was the worst part of my old life. Little did I know that he had been watching over me for the past two and a half months, but having him here and actually seeing him and feeling him watching me made me feel like I was in a cage again. We both needed to work on that.
I reached my turn around spot before I knew it. I had been so caught up in thinking about my whole situation with Lucas that it snuck up on me. Halfway back, I stopped for a breather and walked briskly for a while. I was almost back to Lucas when a voice came behind me.
“Cat! Wait up!” Miguel said as I turned to face him.
“Hey Miguel, what are you doing by the beach? Aren’t you supposed to be in class or something?”
“I have late classes today. I was just out here running and working out,” he replied.
“Oh, same here,” I said as the tension between us faded to awkwardness. I hadn’t seen Miguel since the night we had our dance. The same night he thought there was a spark between us.
“Cool. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” He paused for a second before continuing. “That night at the bar made me finally realize that I needed to tell you exactly how I feel about you.”
Oh gosh, here it comes. He is about to tell me how much he likes me.
“The truth is,” he continued before I could stop him, “I like you a lot and I'm not sure how you feel about me, but I felt like we had a moment that night and I've been trying to gain enough courage to tell you.”
How was I supposed to respond to that? I never actually thought he would ever admit that to me. I should have prepared myself for this moment.
“Miguel, you’re a really nice person, but I—”
“Hey Cat! Who’s your friend?” Lucas asked as he ran up next to me.
Like he didn’t already know.
“Hey. Umm… this is Miguel. Miguel this is Lucas,” I said taking a sigh of relief. Lucas had perfect timing.
“Hey man, it’s nice to meet you,” Lucas said as he stuck out his hand for Miguel to shake.
“You too,” Miguel replied with a quizzical look. “So, how do you two know each other?”
If I thought replying to Miguel’s confession was tough, that was nothing compared to explaining how I knew Lucas.
“We’re friends. I work for her family’s business back home. I’m just visiting right now,” Lucas replied.
Such a perfect answer.
“Cool. Maybe we can all hang out sometime,” Miguel said.
“Definitely,” Lucas responded.
“We have to go. I have to be at work in two hours and I still need to get ready. Just text me and maybe we can hang out this weekend, okay?” I said to Miguel.
“Yeah, sounds good. Have a good day,” he said before taking off.
“Wow, he’s got it bad,” Lucas said before turning to face me.
“What?”
“I know you’re not blind, Lil. He likes you. Can’t blame him though, I used to be in that same position,” he said as he winked and then took off at a jog.
A smile quickly broke out on my face. I caught it before it spread too far and put it back into a straight line. Lucas was in that position at one time. The only difference was at that time I liked Lucas as more than a friend.
***
As the middle of February rolled around, it had been two weeks since Lucas had moved in. We had our morning routine precisely down now. He normally cooked us breakfast and then we went for a run together. I hadn’t seen or talked to Miguel since that day. I wasn’t sure what he thought, or if he was upset about meeting Lucas. It could have been me halfway turning him down too.
Emily made herself scarce too. I usually only saw her at work when our shifts overlapped. I knew with the semester in full swing now that I wouldn’t be seeing much of my old group, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. Several times I had tried to strike up a conversation with her, and each time she would tell me she was too busy to talk.
After having to deal with her attitude one day, I decided that it was time to ask her what her problem was.
“I need to talk to you,” I said as I met her in the break room.
“Alright,” she said shortly.
“I just want to know what’s wrong. The past few weeks you’ve been really upset with me and I just want to know what I did to make you that way.”
“I don’t hate you. I just don’t understand why you lied to me and said that you weren’t looking for a relationship when clearly you’re back with your ex,” she said snippily.
“I’m not back with him! We’re just friends, I promise,” I said trying to explain.
“Yeah right. He lives with you now. You spend every morning together working out and then when you get off he comes here and picks you up. Every time I see you with him you have this goofy grin on your face. I know there’s history between both of you, and from the looks of it, you still like him. If you really don’t want to be with anyone else, then maybe you shouldn’t let yourself get caught up in him again.”
“I’m not getting caught up in him again. He’s just the only person who is a constant in my life right now. You, Gabe, and Miguel are in school, and if it weren’t for Lucas, then it would just be me.”
“That’s another thing. Miguel came out and told you how he felt and you just totally blew him off. Do you know how hurt he was by that? I know Lucas interrupted, but you could have at least met up with him to tell him how you actually feel.”
“I know and I'm sorry about that.”
“Don’t apologize to me. You owe Miguel an apology. He put himself out there and you just left him hanging.”
“And I’m going to apologize to him. But first, I just want to make sure things are okay with us.”
“We’re good,” she sighed. “And you promise there’s nothing going on?”
“If there was, then wouldn’t I tell you?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Hey, we’re getting busy again, we need you two up front,” the manager said as he walked into the break room.
Our conversation was pretty much over at that point. I was happy that we got everything out in the open for now. I didn’t know that was what she had got from me and Lucas spending so much time together. I wished I could just tell her the real reason he was around. I didn’t have to tell her my real name, just maybe more of the truth and less of the lie.
Her comments about the way she saw me with Lucas made me think though. He was familiar and he always made me feel like a better person when he was around. After our initial conversation, it was really easy for Lucas and me to fall back into being us without the relationship aspect. I did like Lucas as a person and I forgave him for what he did, but I didn’t think I could ever get back into a relationship with him. I didn’t trust him enough, and that was a deal breaker.
The rest of the work day went by terribly. I was glad Emily and I had made up. Apparently the customers didn’t get the memo that today was supposed to get better not worse. By the time I got off and headed home, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was take a long hot bath and craw
l into bed and let the rest of the day pass.
Lucas wasn’t home when I got there, which was very unusual. I immediately made my way to the bathroom, undressed, and got into the bathtub. After being in there for thirty minutes, I got out, wrapped a towel around me, and walked back into my bedroom. I closed my door and went to sit on my bed.
Before I could sit, there was a light pink cocktail dress, silver heels, and jewelry laid out on my bed. There was a note that was on top of my dress and when I opened it, I immediately recognized the handwriting.
Lily,
I went by the coffee shop earlier this afternoon to check up on you. It looked like you had a rough day today, so I thought I might make it a little better. I’ll be back here at eight. Wear this and I promise your night will get a lot better.
Lucas
I smiled as I finished reading his note. As much as I wanted to crawl into bed right now, I wanted to know what he had in mind. Knowing Lucas, there was no telling.
Eight o’clock approached quickly and I was almost ready when a knock came at the door. I hurried down the hall and slid on the hardwood floor before composing myself. I didn’t realize how excited I was about our outing until that moment. I opened the door, and there Lucas stood with a bouquet of purple and white lilies.
“You do know you have a key, right?” I asked as I took the lilies from his hand.
“Yeah, I know. This way just seemed like a better idea,” he responded as I made my way to the kitchen to get a vase.
“So, what are we doing tonight? Oh wait, let me guess, it’s a surprise!” I said.
“You know me so well,” he said as he smiled.
“I just have to put on my heels and jewelry and then I’ll be ready,” I said before setting the flowers in a vase on the dining room table.
I rushed down the hallway and shut my door slightly as I made my way over to my bed. I sat down with a tiny bounce and started putting on my heels and jewelry.
