by J. L. Drake
“Yup.” Antonio blew smoke in my face.
Lexi appeared at his side, her face pale and holding her stomach.
“He just killed a member of the Devil’s Reach?”
Antonio kicked the dead man in his badly beaten face. “I’m thinking I should stick his head out front as a symbol not to fuck with the Almas Perdidas.”
I was still trying to control my spinning head. “Why would you want to take a chance like that? Why poke the devil from behind?”
“Trigger isn’t the devil.” He grabbed Lexi and slammed her down on his lap. “I am!” He kissed her lips, but his gaze stayed fixed on me.
“I beg to differ.” Holding his disturbing gaze, I went on. “I have seen his handiwork firsthand, Antonio. I hope you know what you just did. They are the most ruthless motorcycle crew out there.”
He pushed Lexi away and leaned back. “Gotta make my mark somehow.”
“Well, you did that.” I finished my beer, shaking my head.
“I can trust you to keep this between us and not tell your friend Officer Clark?” He glanced pointedly at Lexi when he spoke, and I wasn’t stupid.
“I want nothing to do with this.” I didn’t. I had my own shit to deal with.
“Great, then you saw nothing.”
Antonio waved the man to move the body somewhere else, then lit a cigarette.
“How long are you in town for?”
I leaned back and played with the lip of my bottle. “Few weeks.”
“Any plans?”
“Not really. Just need a break to clear the head.”
He stared at me a moment longer, then his eyes moved over to Lexi, who was watching us. Once they made eye contact, she slowly turned and went back to work.
“Feel free to stop by and hang out,” he suddenly blurted, and Lexi’s face snapped in our direction.
“I don’t do gangs, Antonio.”
“Not asking you to join, just saying if you’re bored, you have a place to hang out. You did help my sister and all.”
I wanted to say “hell fucking no” because I still was under military as well as civilian law. Plus, I wasn’t stupid enough to make nice with a gang like this. However, I took a moment and thought I could use this to my advantage. I needed to keep an eye on Lexi.
Lexi was holding herself very rigid, white-knuckling the tray. I could tell she was pissed, which only made my decision to come back here to “hang out,” as Antonio put it, even more appealing.
“Yeah, maybe I will.”
He smiled and smacked the table, and the undercover cop looked over.
“Perfect.” He stood. “Let’s go eat some meat!”
“Great, but first, where is the restroom?”
He pointed as he gathered his things. “Down the hall, second door on the left.”
Once behind closed doors, I pulled my phone free.
Keith: One of Antonio’s assholes just killed a DR member. Heads up, a retaliation might be on the way.
I quickly deleted the message and washed my hands, in case someone was listening. Opening the door, I heard a strange noise and looked over and saw Lexi waving me into a storage closet.
She closed the door behind me. We were in a large room piled high with boxes that looked like they had been stolen off a Best Buy truck.
Crossing her arms, I saw the fire I once loved in this woman return, and I was pleased to learn she still had it.
“Why are you even here?”
I fought the smile.
“Funny, I could ask you the same thing.”
Her jaw ticked, and I could see her slipping into our old song and dance. God, I missed this—missed her.
“Do you have a death wish? Because you’re guaranteed to get it hanging out here.”
Reaching out, I ran my hand down her arm, but she jerked it back. “I did three tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. I fight cartels on a monthly basis.” Her face grew pale. “I can handle myself against Antonio Garcia.”
Her eyes closed and she muttered, “Antonio is testing you to see—”
I cupped her cheek, and her skin flushed hot against my hand as her words trailed off.
“I know he is.” Her gaze snapped up to mine. I stepped closer so my chest touched her, and she didn’t move away.
Holding her instantly had everything clicking back into place. The moment I touched her, I felt complete, like a puzzle when you fitted in that last piece.
“Jesus, Lexi, I can’t believe how good it feels to be standing here with you.”
Her chin raised. “You had your chance with me, Keith, but that ship has sailed. I’m with Antonio now, and I’m happy.”
“Are you?” My thumb tugged her bottom lip down, and I felt all the passion I had tucked away for so many years come rushing back.
“I am.” She held her own with me.
“I missed you,” I whispered but regretted it the moment the words were out of my mouth. She snapped out of my spell and stepped back, her face hardening.
“Interesting way of showing it.” She turned and slammed the door in my face.
I went too far, too fast, but…she didn’t tell me to stop.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lexi
My hands shook as I cleared the table. The glasses clinked and rattled as I made my way back to the bar. Club members started to pour in as the party picked up and the barbeque wound down. Elliot hadn’t been around all day, and I was worried about him. After what happened to him with Antonio, I was really concerned he might try to do something stupid. Poor Elliot didn’t know the girl he had been hitting on was Antonio’s cousin, and he had not been able to defend himself against the beating. He was obviously making sure to keep his head down for a bit.
I was completely thrown by Keith being here. Although it had been only two days since I last saw him, the whole thing was frigging with my head. A blast from the past who just happened to be the only one I ever loved. I would have thought I had enough hate inside me to push the unwanted feelings for him aside, but it was proving to be difficult, especially when he touched me.
“Hey, there.” Will held onto my hips and rubbed his erection against my ass as he moved by. Of course Antonio was looking in another direction. I hated working the bar for this reason. Normally, I’d just do the bookkeeping, but since Elliot had been causing some trouble, Antonio was watching both of us more closely.
“Lexi! Beers, now!” Antonio ordered from across the room.
He could be such an ass sometimes.
I balanced six beers on a small tray and headed over. I hated the men Antonio was sitting with. They were from the mid-country somewhere and made me really uncomfortable. They loved to put their hands on me whenever Antonio looked away. I knew it kind of went with the territory when you hung with a crew like this, but up to this point Antonio had been keeping me to himself. Usually, the men took what they wanted when they wanted it. Some girls got shared and passed around. I had been pretty lucky so far. I hated it, but mainly because I never wanted to be with Antonio in the first place. I almost enjoyed myself when I was with Juan. He treated me pretty well, and we had fun. But Antonio changed all that. Things happened, and he didn’t care who took the fall.
I bent and reached for the first bottle. My tray wiggled and was about to tip when someone grabbed it.
“Tha—” My heart shot right up in my throat while Elliot stared down at me. I knew he wanted to talk.
“Got it?”
“Yes,” I whispered and finished handing out the drinks. Back at the bar, I pretended to drop the bottle opener and saw Elliot nod for me to join him in his room, but I felt Antonio watching me, so I looked down and shook my head so he knew right now wasn’t a good time.
Later on that evening as the guys became more drunk, I decided to clean up. Picking up some empty boxes, I went out back to the trash bins. The temperature had dropped, and with bare arms, I was quickly feeling the cold. I heard footsteps and sighed inwardly.
“It’s
really not a smart idea—”
An arm reached around my mid-section and dipped low, grabbing my crotch.
“Stop it!” I tried to elbow whoever it was but was only slammed forward into the trash bin. Ouch!
“Hey, sexy.” Antonio’s breath reeked of booze and old smoke. I despised him when he drank; he always got so mean. “You telling me no?”
With a quick shake of my head, I gave him my normal smile. “Of course not.” I chose my words carefully. “You just scared me, that’s all.”
He grabbed my wrists and held them down as he moved in to kiss my neck. My skin crawled and begged to be removed from my bones. The way he kissed made my stomach roll. It was more of a bite than a sensual graze over the skin. I kept my eyes on the sky and waited for it to be over.
“Antonio!” someone shouted, bringing his fumble with my pants to halt. “Dude! There’s a bar fight!”
He cursed before he left me standing on shaky legs. No “be right back,” nothing. Oh, right; I was only a hole with legs anyway. Why should I deserve an explanation?
I heard a strange noise and spun toward the alley. Something dark caught my eye.
“Hello?” Sometimes Elliot would wait for me in the shadows so we could talk alone. We weren’t ever supposed to be alone.
“Elliot?” I stepped into the darkness and let it swallow me whole.
A huge hand wrapped around my wrist and tugged me sideways. Stumbling, I reached out for the chain link fence to stabilize myself.
With a twist, I was turned around and pressed with my back flat against the cold steel. A set of dark eyes towered above me, and a massive body blocked my view of the exit.
He was so close I could smell his body wash. His heat was all too comforting, and the way he looked at me made every single nerve on my body rise to attention. Stop.
“Tell me you love him, and I’ll leave right now, and you will never see me again.” His voice was low and raspy, which only made my heart pound louder.
“I love him.”
“Bullshit.” He stepped a little closer so we were touching. I couldn’t deny the pull he had on me. It was unlike any other feeling I’d ever experienced. So I raised my hand to signal him to back off. I tried to contain the anger that rushed through me and brought my walls up fast.
“We’ve only been together for six months, Keith.” I shrugged, annoyed he immediately saw through my lie. So I tried a different angle. “You can’t fall in love that quickly.”
“Bullshit,” he snapped back as his chest pushed harder into mine. “I fell in love with you the moment I saw your stubborn ass.”
“What good that did us.”
His face fell, but I didn’t care.
Dammit!
“Look.” I tried to stay calm. “You were my first love, first everything. Dreams die, Keith. I know mine did when you left. Too much has happened since then, way too much to come back from.”
“That’s a cop-out.”
Okay, that was more than a little annoying. Is he trying to piss me off?
“No, you’re a cop-out, for not telling me you were leaving for a whole year!”
He stepped closer. I had no room to step back, so I leaned all my weight into the fence.
One of his hands ran along my hip and rested there while the other reached up by my head and laced itself through the fence links. His head lowered as he searched my eyes for something.
“Nice to know that after all these years I can still piss you off.”
“Screw you.”
His mouth tilted up on one side. “I missed your feisty side.”
I rolled my eyes. He started fires inside me, but I had no time for it. I had way bigger issues to deal with right now than worrying about my old lover coming back into town.
“Antonio will be looking for me.” It was lame. Antonio would just want to get some oral, and if I wasn’t there, someone else would step in.
“I saw the way you looked when he was kissing your neck.” He leaned down and hovered his lips above my collarbone. His warm breath made my eyes water. It was all too much. “Would you have touched him if he had let go of your wrists?”
Words failed me as I gave a little shake of the head. My mind was cloudy, and I couldn’t think straight. I hated that he did this to me. It was just old feelings seeping through. It was all fake, and none of this was based on anything real.
“Then why are you touching me?”
He leaned back and looked down at my grip on his forearms. I immediately dropped them as though burned and pushed him aside.
“We have a history, Keith, but don’t mistake it for anything else. This is my life now, and I suggest you leave. You must realize I am not the girl you once knew.”
“Are you staying to find proof they killed your parents?”
My blood froze. How did he…? I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh with relief that I had someone to share this with, or cry with the pain that filled me. I went with old faithful. Anger.
“I’m staying because this is my home, and I suggest you leave, which we both know you are good at, and go back to wherever the hell you came from.”
He grabbed my arm and hauled me back to him. His lips were so close to mine. His dark eyes flashed as he flicked them from mine to my mouth.
“Just give me an inch, Lex.”
“Like you gave me? We can do this all night, but bottom line is you broke me.”
I wanted to give in so badly. He was like an addiction sucking me back into a safe haven. A safe heaven that once tore a piece of me away. I was not that person anymore!
“I’m not what you need, Keith. Oil and water don’t mix.”
“Lexi!” Antonio barked from the doorway, making me jump. Keith let me go and stepped back. “Where the fuck did you go?” I was relieved I was still hidden from view. I noticed a girl wrap her arms around his, pulling him back into the clubhouse.
I glanced over my shoulder and Keith was gone. Good, leave.
Heading back inside, I went searching for Antonio, only to find I was locked out of our room. The girl’s screams had to be fake. He couldn’t get an erection, and his oral skills were less than good. Most women faked an orgasm, me included, because it wasn’t about the sex, it was about who you were naked with. If you played up his oral skills and were a screamer, you’d stick around awhile. Instead, I headed for Elliot’s room, but that was locked too. Damn, I really could use my brother right now.
I finally settled for the storage closet. At least that had a lock on it.
Removing some clean bar rags, I piled them up and made myself a pillow and closed my eyes. Not that I got much sleep anyway, but Keith being here was really throwing me off my game. If I wasn’t careful, he was going to screw up everything.
The next morning the place was dead. No one ever got up before one in the afternoon after these kinds of parties. I cleaned up, removing a bunch of dirty clothes from a bench and a bra from under the table. I shuddered at the thought of how much semen was probably on these surfaces. These guys were nasty in every sense of the word.
By ten I was bored, as all my chores were finished. Hmm, maybe I could use this to my advantage. I grabbed my keys, headed out to my car, and drove to the corner market.
“Red or yellow today?” Connie asked over the music from her TV. She loved to watch old re-runs of Lie to Me. I found myself hanging out watching it with her sometimes just to feel normal again.
“Red, please.”
She handed me twelve long-stemmed roses.
“Thanks. See you next week.”
“You know, if you just stuck with one color I could always make sure to have them in stock.”
I smiled with a shrug and handed her the money. “I would, but I never know when I’ll need the yellow roses.”
Her eyebrows pinched together, confused by my comment.
It wasn’t far off from the truth, but I learned the hard way not to share anything with anyone.
“Thanks, Connie.” I hel
d up the flowers as I walked out the door.
Parking a few yards away, I wound my way through the tombstones and stopped in front of my parents’. My flowers from last week had been removed by Elliot. I carefully placed six on Dad’s and six on Mom’s.
“Hey, guys,” I whispered, glancing around. Talking to them helped me get through these visits. “I wouldn’t say I’m closer to pinpointing exactly who did this to you, but I do have something to tell you. Gordon, one of the members, caught me listening outside Antonio’s office and never reported me. I was so scared, but he never told, or I would have got it. That was really unexpected, and I’m not sure why, but he seems a little nicer than the rest.”
I wiped that tears that started to overflow. “I heard where Antonio is storing the body of a guy they killed from the Devil’s Reach, but I’ll be keeping that quiet for a bit. It could be really useful info.” I shook my head like I could hear their disapproval. “I know we’re in way over our heads. I won’t lose my way.” I touched Mom’s stone. “I just need a little more time.”
With shaky hands, I pulled out a joint and lit the tip.
“Oh, Keith showed up.” I blew the smoke away from us. “Crazy, right?” I smirked at my dad’s voice in my head.
“Let him in.”
“I can’t, Dad. It’s too hard. He hurt me in ways I can’t begin to repair.” Tears hurt as they marred my vision, forcing me to see his face. “I wish he would just go back wherever he was.”
Sinking to the ground and leaning against the cool stone, I closed my eyes, wishing against all the rules of life that my parents could somehow come home.
***
Keith
Three had her arm linked with mine as we strolled through Boston Common. She was showing me where her outdoor wedding ceremony was going to be.
So…” She spread her arms out and showed me the backdrop. “Donny and I will be here, and the fathers and the guests will be here.” Her excited eyes looked up at me, seeking my approval like always. Three looked at me as her second father. Perhaps it was because I was eleven years older. She and Donny had been together since the tenth grade, and no one had to tell me how much that meant, loving a person so hard for so long.
