I clenched my hands in the salt, my heavy inhale breaking the water skin as my body became extra buoyant.
Something flickered to my right. Turning my head a little, careful not to roll too much, I looked up at the colossal beast of my floating home. Phantom poised on the sea like a swan ready to take flight. Its portals and twinkling lights so homely and welcoming.
I’d built a large boat, not because I needed to live in something monolithic, but because I’d hoped it wouldn’t just be me living on it. I’d sent invitations. None had come back.
The flicker came again.
Kicking my legs, I turned from horizontal to vertical, treading the tide. In the distance above, Pimlico drifted between rigging lights, blocking them as she passed before their brightness illuminated the sky once again.
Where the fuck is she going?
I tracked her as she wandered along the deck. Moving toward the railing, she ran her fingers over the smooth mahogany, her face pensive as she peered into the darkness.
She wouldn’t see me down here, so I took the opportunity to study her. To assess the way she carried herself. The anger mixing with residual fear.
Perhaps, I was too hard on her. Expected too much, too soon. Our fight at dinner had been destructive at worst and juvenile at best. I’d said things I wished I could take back.
I was supposed to be the saviour here, not the aggressor.
Michaels had told me as such—warned me that incidents like this might never heal. The wounds on her body might fade…but her mind, that might never be fully complete.
My gaze danced down her figure.
At least she’d worn another too-big-for-her dress and not wandered around naked. It fluttered in the night breeze, a soft lavender style one of my assistants had picked out. I didn’t want to admit it, but even from here, the colour set off Pimlico’s dark hair, making her seem otherworldly.
Pushing off from the railing, she disappeared past my line of sight.
Something tugged inside me, but I ignored it. I’d already let Pimlico affect me more than I should. I fucking refused to let her eat away at me. Not when she expected me to be a monster.
I was a monster.
Just one she’d never come across before.
THE COLD ALMOST made me turn back.
I hadn’t brought a cardigan (not that I’d probably wear one), and the chilliness reminded me too much of being constantly freezing in the white mansion.
However, something was infinite and majestically calming about the night sky. Instead of running, I commandeered a bollard where a massive rope—damp with sea and reeking of salt—coiled heavily, waiting to be used.
Perching on the top, I tugged the hated dress and wrapped it around my knees.
My ribs hurt to crunch up, but it was comforting sitting outside after two years locked in a house.
For a while, nothing moved. No stars. No birds. No life.
It was just me and the vast blackness both above and below.
I grew weary, lulled to relaxation by the sway of waves and whispers of night. The mania of the past few days finally calmed, and I was able to breathe without anger or confusion.
Other emotions that’d been hidden inside slowly crept into acknowledgement like woodland mice. Regret for the way I’d pushed Elder. Grief for the way I’d reacted—not because I’d wanted to but because my mind was so riddled with rot, I didn’t know any other way.
I needed to apologise to him and myself. Michaels had given me enough confidence to reach out with tentative fingers and take the first grasp of whatever Elder was offering without peeking beneath the kindness and searching for cruelty.
I need to live in the moment.
The future I cannot control.
I tipped my head back to the moon, allowing the silver light to recharge and forgive me. Forgive a woman who was still a girl even if she thought she was ancient. Forgive a slave who had no notion of pleasure or happiness in a man’s company.
My education in submission was not welcome here, and it hurt to have to shred up those lessons and be open to learning new things—especially when I didn’t know what things Elder would teach me.
I sighed again, expelling another windstorm of gathering questions, doing my best to stay calm.
A crack and small thud wrenched my eyes wide, waking me from my unsuccessful meditation.
I blinked as hands appeared on the railing followed by arms then dripping wet hair and dragon-tattooed torso.
Just like the first time I’d seen his skin art, it stole the very breath from my lungs. The inked creature snarled and snapped, coming alive in every contour and muscle shadow.
Elder didn’t look up, climbing the last rungs of a ladder I hadn’t noticed and stepping onto the deck with endless authority and confidence.
Raking his hands through his hair, he threw his head back and exhaled. His stomach rippled, his dragon hissing with smoke.
For a second, I sat in the darkness, watching. Wishing I could tear away his secrets and understand who this man was.
He had a temper. He had secrets.
But that doesn’t make him evil…does it?
A breeze whistled down the deck, unlocking my dress from around my legs, sending it fluttering like a purple flag.
Elder froze.
His eyes narrowed on me. “I thought you’d gone in.”
I stiffened.
You saw me?
My brain worked, trying to decide how I felt about being spied on just like I’d been spying on him.
Against my wishes, my eyes travelled south, taking in the way his black boxer-briefs glued to his body. The masculine bulge spiked my heart rate despite me hating that part of a man. Elder had done his best to switch some of my aversions the night he'd kissed me. Even two evenings ago when he’d pressed his erection against me, I hadn’t coiled in disgust.
I hadn’t wanted him.
But the thought of sleeping with him was marginally acceptable because at least he’d given me things in return.
Seawater continued to rivulet down his legs, catching in dark hair before pooling over his toes. Everything about him was exquisitely formed and perfect. Even his feet were in proportion to his height and build.
“Have something to say to me?” Elder smirked, not caring my eyes stalked over him. “You can, you know. Say whatever you want. I won’t get mad.”
I scowled. Was he going to bring up our fight or let it go? I was prepared to follow his lead, but once again, his wet body and chest tattoo drew my attention. The inked illusion hinted that the ocean had been allowed to swirl around his organs thanks to his ribs being exposed beneath his dragon.
Does that smoking thing have a name?
Why a dragon?
And wait…what is he doing swimming at this time of night?
At least my questions were saner and related to less harmful topics. I didn’t know if I’d evolved or just been successful at focusing on easier to handle queries.
When I didn’t respond, Elder strolled to another bollard holding yet more rigging and scooped up a towel wedged down the side. He never took his eyes off me, somehow stroking me with his vision in a way that evoked yet more goosebumps.
It seemed my skin reacted whenever he was around.
I don’t like it.
I don’t like feeling this way.
What way?
Hugging my knees closer, I tried to answer that.
Like a girl with a boy and not a slave with a master?
No, that wasn’t quite right. Elder would never be a boy, and he was far too dangerous to drop my guard and allow whatever remnants of the kiss we shared to have an effect. He was just different. And different people, scenarios, and locations were all taking a toll on me.
“Did the darkness give you the answers you were looking for?” Rubbing his face with the towel, he dragged it down his torso, before tying it around his waist. “Or maybe you’ve decided to give me the benefit of the doubt and behave?”
<
br /> My teeth ground together.
Behave?
He chuckled, a lot more carefree than I’d seen him. A rogue droplet trailed over his pec; his dragon licked it up. “I’m not going to apologise for the other night. And I don’t expect one from you. I pushed too hard. I’ll try to be more understanding.”
I sat up in shock.
I’d expected a warning, not a vague admittance of equal guilt.
An uneasy silence fell, which for me was almost as foreign as the way my belly warmed while looking at his half-naked body.
Elder cleared his throat, his fingers twitching by his sides. “I hear Michaels came to see you this evening.”
Does your staff report everything I do?
“Not everything about you has to be such a bloody secret, Pim.” Rolling his eyes as I crossed my arms, he moved to shut the side of the ship and leaned against the railing. “I also heard you didn’t approve of my décor and decided to do a bit of home improvement. On an empty stomach, I might add.”
My arms tightened around myself.
Is that a crime?
I didn’t know why I antagonised him. If he hadn’t hurt me yet, why push and push, waiting for him to do the exact thing I didn’t want him to do?
What would a psychologist say? What would my mother?
It didn’t matter that I was raised with the matters of the mind. Sorting out another’s issues was easy, guessing their concerns wasn’t nearly as hard as diagnosing my own.
Elder looked me up and down. “I’m fully aware that your tongue isn’t healed and speech is still impossible. But you could give me what you gave Michaels.”
My legs jerked, causing one of my feet to slip off the bollard.
He’d told Elder I nodded for him? What happened to patient confidentiality?
“He didn’t tell me what you discussed or even how you communicated. He just said you answered his questions.” He rubbed his head again, dispelling another shower of sea. “I want to know how you answered him and why you won’t answer me.”
My shoulders hunched even as my swollen tongue itched. I’d done what Michaels had asked of me. After he’d gone, I’d eaten every mouthful of soup and bite of fluffy rice that a friendly faced maid had brought in.
I even sucked down a berry and banana smoothie and forced my very full stomach to tolerate the chocolate mousse. So much food. Much of it too sweet. But the range of savoury, sweet, and starch did wonders for my depleted system.
Within an hour, I didn’t feel so jittery or teary-eyed. My sad confusion faded, leaving curiosity in its wake. Hence my hesitant exploration and expedition onto the deck of Elder’s prized yacht.
“Pimlico.” His growl echoed in the night. “I asked a question. Answer me.”
My nostrils flared.
It didn’t work like that. Michaels had found me at my weakest. He’d been kind to me, and I respected that kindness. It wasn’t a weakness to answer him.
A curse fell from Elder’s lips. “I’d hoped not to see you again until your tongue was healed. Do you know why?” His gaze shot me with ebony arrows.
That question demanded a yes or no answer, but still, I remained mute.
“Because,” he snarled, “if I knew your tongue was better, I would force you to speak. You expect me to hurt you? Well, perhaps I will if it means you’ll finally tell me what I want.”
You do, and it will make you just like him.
I bared my teeth, showing more emotion than I meant.
You do, and I’ll clamp up and never utter a word to you.
He sighed, his face softening. “That would make me just like him, wouldn’t it?”
I breathed hard as he battled for calmness.
“And then I wouldn’t deserve your voice.” Pushing off the rail, he came closer. The moon shone behind him, etching him in silver silhouette. “Fine, silent mouse. Keep your quietness a little longer; let me prove to you I do deserve your voice.”
Ever so slowly, he took my hand, pulling it away from my knee with a sharp tug. I couldn’t fight him, even though I tried.
My suspicions about his intentions flared. Was this the first point of initiation? Did he hate that I’d trespassed on his time out here and would make me pay for it?
Only, his fingers slipped through mine—cool and slightly sticky from sea water. “This isn’t working…for either of us.”
I sucked my bottom lip as he curled his hand tighter, holding it like any normal introduction—like the introduction I’d refused when Alrik had ordered me to shake his hand.
“I think we should start again, don’t you?” His fingers tightened around mine, activating the warmth inside me into a scalding heat. “I think you should stop doubting me. Learn to know me with no judgment clouding your mind.”
I tugged, but he didn’t let me go.
“In return, I’ll give you the time you need. I won’t force you. And I won’t get angry when you deny me my answers.” His lips pulled into half a smile. “For a short while, at least.”
Our hands grew hot, searing together the longer we touched. Fire licked down my arm, tickling and foreign, hissing through my spine and into my already hot belly.
“Do we have a deal?”
Just like the decision to nod for Michaels was hard, this was even harder.
Harder because there was no going back from this. It wasn’t just a nod but an oath to trust him, and I hadn’t trusted anyone in so long. Those I had trusted turned out to hurt me the most.
Don’t fear the future.
Only endure the present.
Michaels’ wisdom was what made me squeeze his hand in return and very reluctantly nod.
Elder sucked in a breath, a sinful smile on his face. “Thank you. For finally agreeing to give me a chance.”
Memories of him coming back for me, of his livid anger at my bleeding tongue, and tender strength as he carried me out of hell wrenched through my doubt.
In my twisted emotions, I’d forgotten one thing.
How to be grateful.
He deserved my thanks, and I hadn’t given it to him. I’d been rude and distrustful and ruined his property. Yet, he hadn’t raised a hand to me.
Trust would be very hard to earn from me, but short-term thanks wouldn’t be. My mother had raised me better than that. I had manners…somewhere. I just had to remember how to use them.
Pulling my hand from his, I paused, then, ever so hesitantly, I placed my fingertips on his damp chest, right where the snout of his dragon protected his heart.
I let thanks fill my gaze. I tightened my fingers a little, sinking my fingernails into his skin. Not to draw blood but to show the depth of what I wanted to say.
Thank you…Elder.
He shuddered beneath my touch, his black eyes an eclipse.
He didn’t remove my touch, barrelling his way through our locked gaze as if he heard every syllable I didn’t utter.
Finally, his lips smiled in the darkness. His voice wrapped around me, promising a better tomorrow now we’d drawn battle lines.
“You’re welcome, Pimlico.”
* * * * *
Lying in bed that night, I couldn’t stop Elder from starring in my thoughts.
After we’d lingered under the moonlight and he’d accepted my gratitude, he grabbed my wrist and pulled my touch away. Without a word, he strolled down the deck and disappeared downstairs.
I followed a few minutes afterward, still lost and afraid but not quite as rageful as I’d been.
Unable to fall asleep, even after an emotionally draining few days, I pulled the notepad and pen toward me and poured my heart to the one friend who I trusted impeccably.
Dear No One,
My life has changed.
How many times did I wish for that?
But what happens if the change wasn’t what I expected? What if I didn’t get to go home to my family? What if I now face yet another trial, another man, another ownership?
Was it stupid of me to admit that i
f Elder stole me to protect me from Alrik, I would be content to be his? Is it wrong of me to back out of such an admission so soon?
I have so many questions, No One, and nobody to ask.
Who am I anymore? Who do I want to be? What will become of me when my tongue heals and nothing but my stubbornness keeps me silent?
The moment I scrawled the last question mark, my eyes drooped as if my mind had only kept me awake to spew out the disease-like questions.
I didn’t even place the notepad and pen on the bedside table. I did the only thing I could.
I sprawled out on the pillows and fell into a deep, delicious sleep where Elder waited…promising not to hurt me.
A TRUCE HAD formed.
Too fucking bad I had to leave before making it solid.
After leaving Pimlico on the deck last night, I’d checked my emails before retiring and found an urgent one from my warehouses in Monaco. I was needed for an issue the manager did not wish to discuss via electronic correspondence.
So as any good CEO and leader would do, I replied saying I would be there first thing in the morning and made the arrangements with the pilot on staff to ready the helicopter.
Anger curdled my stomach wondering if this was the moment my past caught up with me. I’d been hunted before. Had I been found again?
By nine a.m. we were airborne over the Mediterranean, flying to my ship builder empire and the port I’d wanted to stop in but didn’t have time between our commitments.
At least, I had wings this time. Wings were faster than sails, and it meant I could do both with no ill effects.
Knowing Pim was on an armoured yacht far away from whatever mess I was about to walk into, I disembarked the helicopter and stepped onto firm ground.
A mixture of repulsion and relief flooded me.
I liked it here. In fact, Monaco was the only place on land where I genuinely felt at peace. However, I was never fully free without the undulating power of water beneath my toes—especially if my sins had finally caught up with me.
What if you don’t return?
I shut that thought off immediately.
Dollars (Dollar #2) Page 10
