by Aya DeAniege
What happened?
I tried to get my voice to say that, but only a croak came out. My mouth felt full of the same cotton that was stuffed up inside my head.
My eyes focused a little more this time, but not by much. I watched Lilly walk around the bed and set her hand on the railing.
She pressed the nurse button and smiled sweetly at me.
“You’ve been out a while,” she said. “Two weeks almost.”
I closed my eyes, annoyed because I didn’t know how long I could stay awake. She was wasting my time with talk of time, rather than telling me what I wanted to know.
What happened?
Lilly’s head turned to the side, and she leaned in just a little.
“Oh, that was ‘what happened,’ not ‘when happened.’ At least you’re thinking in full sentences.”
I frowned at her, mouth partially opened in my attempt to say the words once more. Lilly patted my hand and walked back around the bed, settling in her seat as a doctor and nurse walked in.
“Grace, it’s good to see you awake,” the doctor said, approaching me. “Can you talk?”
“Doesn’t seem able, poor thing,” Lilly said.
“It could just be the shock of the trauma,” the doctor said, pulling out a pen light. “Happens sometimes, we’ll just take our time here and try not to stress out over the loss of a voice. It will come back.”
He shone it in both my eyes, then moved his finger in front of my face. Having the light in my eyes first made it harder to focus on the moving finger, but I knew that I was supposed to follow it with my eyes. Making a small sound, the doctor pulled out a pen and grabbed my chart, adding something to it.
“We’re going to reduce her morphine again. Once she’s more aware of her body, she may be alert.”
“I thought you had reduced it to the minimal dosage for something with her injuries already,” Lilly said. “What, what about her pain?”
“Once she’s alert, we can do pain management. Until then, my concern is getting my patient awake enough that she can respond to questions and we can figure out if there’s been any lasting brain damage. You can go back to reading to her. While she is awake, I doubt that she’ll recall any of what you talk about.”
“Because you’re such an expert,” Lilly snapped.
“That is why he’s paying me to do my job,” the doctor said.
I swore his eyes flashed as he left my room with the nurse directly behind him. I watched him leave, then forced my head to swing toward Lilly.
“Don’t you worry, I’ve been here since Sam told me he hired a damned demon to look after you,” Lilly snapped at the air over my bed. “And don’t you worry about him either. I’m just here to make certain he doesn’t feed on you while you’re asleep. Those incubi can’t be trusted with a prone woman.”
What happened?
“What happened? Well, that’s a lot more complex. Do you want the story mortals are told, or what happened?”
I stared at Lilly, not understanding.
“He said he told you,” she muttered, sitting back down again. “Sam did tell you that he was an angel of the Lord, right?”
I frowned at her.
While Sam had told me that, I assumed it was the crazy talking. A guy like that had to have some bones in his closet, some balancing point to all that he was. He couldn’t just be this great, rich guy that just happened to take an interest in me. There had to be something wrong, for him to be single.
“He’s an angel, an arc angel to be specific. Sam and his brothers guard against demons in the real world. And I know, I know it’s hard to wrap your head around. Or you immediately assume they’re crazy, and I am too, but we aren’t.”
Lilly watched me for a moment, then sighed out.
“My full name is Lillith. If the world still ran on titles, I would be the First Wife, Once Mother of all Humanity. I walked the Garden of Eden before God made stupid Eve who let Baal into the Garden and then ate of his fruit. Not the fruit of knowledge, the fruit of his loins. But, they did want someone a bit more of a slut to start the race. Then Eve talked Adam into also taking of the fruit.
“Which I really think is why so many religions have such a problem with gay men.
“The pair were banished from Eden. They and theirs could no longer enter, only the unsullied and the Heaven Host. Baal got in a fight with the other angels, and they won, but barely. And then they only won because Lucifer’s weapon was still in Heaven.
“See, back before the start of time, Samael was a messenger to Eden. He would bring God’s commands down to us. While in his duties to God, setting up the Garden and teaching us things like fire and clothing, Samael fell in love with me. Angels can have sex, and Samael looks like that in Heaven and on Earth. Everyone just fell into his bed, but not me.
“When God found out, He told Samael to break it off. Samael said no. God sent Michael down to smite me. He was already working on Eve because I wouldn’t spread my legs for Adam and birth the races of the humans. Samael caught Michael before he entered the garden and the two fought like angels had never fought before. Samael won, but he knew he couldn’t win every battle.
“He entered the garden one last time and told me that it was over. I was upset, but I kind of understood. I had seen the flashing from inside the garden. The only thing that kept us alive were the protections that God laid over the land. Samael went one way, I went mine, and Eve was let into the garden. The two were happy, nymphomaniac bunnies.
“Except Sam couldn’t live with what he had to do to protect another. He did what angels are not supposed to do, and he ripped out his heart. Angel hearts aren’t like ours. They are shape and form, thought even. Baal felt strongly, he had the keen intelligence of Sam, but he didn’t think rationally. There was no balancing point to how strongly he felt, as there would have been if he remained inside of Sam. Baal hatched a plan to ruin his Father’s precious garden for what his Father had done to him.
“Which was why he seduced Adam and Eve and had them cast out of the garden, doomed to age and eventually die because they broke God’s law.”
I tried to make a sound but couldn’t get one to form, which was frustrating for me. Lilly made a little sound and stood. She removed something from the bedspread and held up one of her little charms.
“Nurse is human, can’t have you talking about angels in front of her.”
“That’s not how that works,” I said.
Startled at the sound of my own voice, suddenly strong and clear, I jumped in place and shifted to one side of the bed. Lilly gave me a sympathetic look.
“Normally, my stance on roommates is to not use magic on them. It’s just, this is kind of a big deal, and I don’t know what you would have remembered from the events at the skyscraper.”
“That was magic?” I asked.
“No, that was two arc angels fighting over you.”
“Why?”
“Sam… how do I put this?” Lilly considered her lap, the charm turning over and over in her hands as she was silent. “Okay, so, without his heart, Sam couldn’t love, right? I mean, his brothers have had their little flings through the centuries, even Michael. Don’t let his virgin persona fool you. But Sam hasn’t. The closest he’s ever come to love was a sort of motherly love. By the time this happened, I suppose God knew something had to give. He made her immortal, or at least able to walk the Earth as long as they’d like her to, as long as she would like to be here.”
“I haven’t met anyone like that.”
Yes, I have.
The older woman in the family portrait above the steps, the one who was also his secretary but they hadn’t introduced me to. I hadn’t seen her since that first day when I met Sam, manning the desk out front. No one had mentioned her again.
“Mary,” I said, “his secretary.”
Lilly nodded.
“I like Mary. She’s a spitfire. Longevity comes at a price, however. She couldn’t be aged backward but they have worked w
ith witches and such over the years to make her more spry. Remove arthritis, fix a few things. She’s not patched together with magic, just a few things to make her more comfortable, but the boys don’t like other people meeting her unless she’s asked about them.”
“And this all has to do with me?”
“It all has to do with the events on the rooftop,” Lilly said. “The last time Baal stirred from Hell or tried to reach the surface, was when Mary was alive. No one could figure out what was going on, he seemed content down there, and Mary was dreaming of him. She was smart though, and the world spoke of angels and demons then. She dealt with it her way and kept him down there.
“When Sam feels something that he can’t deny, even without a heart, Baal would stir. This time it wasn’t maternal love that stirred him. I tried to distract him, but Baal would have nothing to do with me, neither part of Sam will ever touch me or come near me like that. They just—It wouldn’t be safe.
“While living under my roof, you are very safe from him. Sam knows better than to try something. I have stabbed Michael before and will do it again. Raphael is wonderful to have for tea, though.”
“What happened on the roof?” I said with a motion around.
“Oh, right,” Lilly said. She seemed to chew the inside of her mouth for a moment. “There’s a landing pad on that skyscraper. It’s a long story, and I honestly don’t know how it got there, but a landing pad creates neutral ground between two or more planes of existence. Baal walked out of Hell, took the elevator down and spotted you. Then he took you back up with the intent of entering Heaven.”
“By killing me?” I asked.
It was fuzzy, all those little details, but I tried my best to put them in the right order. Rubbing my head, I groaned.
“Only a pure soul can get into Heaven. He was hoping to hitch a ride, basically. He didn’t count on Samael already having contacted Heaven, or showing up. The world went all whishy-washy because the very planes of Heaven and Hell were fighting over the area above the landing pad. Both planes were pouring into the Earthly one.
“Which will be a problem later on because it seems there are demons now running loose and not all of them are as kind as that doctor suck-my-dick.”
“Suck my… what?”
“He’s an incubus. Locked away because they’re, well, they could have given Adam a run for his money. Baal created them as a mockery of all that God had wanted humans to be. He and a few other physically bound demons escaped Hell. The boys are now tasked with finding these demons and getting rid of them.”
“But what happened to me, Lilly. Me! Why am I in a bed, and why can’t I figure out why just on pain alone?”
“The pain one is easy and medically based. It seems you overreact to medications. They’ve been weaning back your morphine, just trying to get you alert. Yes, that was scary as could be, but Sam was certain you’d pull through.”
“Why are you avoiding what I’m asking?”
“Because I don’t know,” Lilly said with a shrug. “Witnesses say you hit the sidewalk pretty hard, but some say you fell from the sky and some say that you just tripped and were clearly on something.”
“Fell from the sky.”
For a moment I flashed back, to those seconds I fell down the side of the building, it whipping past me and the wind screaming in my ears. To the sound of my body impacting with the sidewalk at a speed that should have left a cartoon like splatter across the asphalt.
“Sam asked for a drug test, and they found something in your system and traced it back to the school. Apparently, someone thought it’d be a great prank to drug half the school. He’s currently sitting in a jail cell awaiting trial. The other victims were rounded up with minimal effort and no injuries. You just happened to fall.”
“Did I break something?”
“No, a massive bruise down your back, and over your shoulders shaped like wings.”
“Which means?”
“It’s possible that an angel changed time and broke your fall with his back. I mean, if you believe in that stuff. If not, you fell while drugged. Which is what you should tell other people.”
“Who won?”
“What?”
“Who won the fight?”
“Oh, Sam did. He took Baal back into himself, making himself whole once more. He got you here, paid for the private room, then called me. I’m to tell you, the room and your medical bills have been taken care of, and if you complain about them, he’ll come in here and squirt you in the face with a spray bottle because who do you think you are, a millionaire?”
“Good to see this all didn’t affect his mood any.”
“He’s just seeing to one last thing. He was here almost constantly for the past week and a half. He needed sleep, we convinced him that you’d only come out of it if he left. I sent him off and decided it was time to try something else. Did you have any dreams? Any wet dreams? Should I go shoot the doctor now?”
“No dreams, just black. I’ve been out for a week and a half?”
“Yes, I contacted the school with the file number on the charges against the prankster, your medical file number, and contact information. Someone from your school did drop by, just to confirm that, yes, you were in a medically induced coma, and everything is good. It’s taken care of.
“Once you’re feeling better you can go back and, depending on how long that is, you might not even have to make up the assignments. Don’t complain about that, just take it and run. Run screaming for the hills.”
“If I heard you right, Sam fought with himself over me, I might have maybe almost died, or actually died, but now I’m alive, and demons are walking the Earth.”
Lilly nodded.
“That’s about right. Humans don’t know about the demons because that’d cause mass panic and probably a war or six over the right word of God.”
I dragged in a breath, then sighed it out.
“You people are crazy.”
“Okay, I’ll give you your space. The room is still paid for, and everything is taken care of. Your items are at my place, safe and still in the boxes for you to unpack or move out as you feel you need to.”
“How am I supposed to take this information?” I asked. “Magic and angels?”
Lilly held up the charm, then set it on the bed and gave me a pointed look. I opened my mouth to snap at her, but nothing came out. She smiled, picked up the charm, flipped it back over and set it on the bed.
“I mean, you can’t just pick me up off the street like a stray dog and bring me home to master like everything is fine. I just fell off a building, Lilly, and you all are acting like it’s a normal Tuesday. Is this that normal for you? So normal that no one is losing their minds except me? The mortal who was thrown off a building and actually impacted with the ground. It happened, I know it happened.”
Lilly picked the charm up and pressed her lips together as her smile grew.
“Tell yourself what you like about the angels,” she said, shaking the charm at me. “My magic is real.”
“How can it be real? Witches were burned at the stake.”
“By one man’s interpretation of the word of God,” Lilly said. “Another interpretation, that is not all that popular—let alone remembered—is that all men should fuck a goat their first time, to remind them to be humble and treat women as equals, not as animals or broodmares. It’s how one man explains this all. Witches aren’t supposed to be burned at the stake. They’re just like black people. Or… Blind people. They are human, no matter which way you put it, they’re human, and their magic or skin colour or sexuality or disability doesn’t change that fact.
“Also, witches can explode you with their minds. Not a great idea to upset them. I gave Michael the shits when I visited for the dinner we attended? But he and I have a thing or two to settle.”
“And now what?” I asked. “I have a guardian angel?”
Lilly considered for a moment.
“Probably, yes, but you won’t see
him or her. If you do, it’ll be in the form of a stranger every time. A different face and voice. As for Sam, he now has a decision to make. When it came to that decision about me, he chose to walk away rather than see it through. We’ll see how this goes.
“Do you want me to unpack your stuff, or leave it?”
“I’ll unpack it.”
“Okay, I promise not to buy you an expensive mattress.”
“What? What do you mean an expensive one?” I demanded.
“The moving crew broke your mattress, but Sam didn’t buy insurance because he’s stupid like that. Or hoped they would lose it and he could swoop in and buy you a new one. You can’t sleep on an air mattress with your back like that, and if you’re alert, they could release you as early as tomorrow morning. I’m going to find a nice, inexpensive mattress for you to sleep on. Maybe take a baseball bat to it for a couple of hours so it has that lumpy and broken feel, that way you feel right at home.”
“That’s not nice, and I’ll pay you back for the mattress.”
“No doubt you will. In the meantime, get some sleep. And if you dream of sex while in this hospital you let me know.”
“What if I dream of Sam again?”
“It would be difficult, as you were actually dreaming of Baal and he’s now dead,” Lilly paused and frowned. “Sort of, maybe? I don’t know. It’s probably more of a philosophical question than a scientific one. Is he dead if he’s returned to his place in Sam’s chest, was he ever really alive? Something for me to ponder on. It’s been a while since I had a quandary like that.”
“Quandary?”
“Yes, I use big, fancy words sometimes, when it pleases me. You get some sleep. I’ll be back this evening. And we’ll see about breaking you out of this place.”
Two weeks after the event on the rooftop, I was standing on the back terrace, looking out over the back lawn of my home as Michael grunted and growled at the bed he was putting in for the hydrangeas. He was making plans to put in more flowers because women liked flowers.
I hadn’t the heart to tell him that Grace probably wasn’t coming back. I wouldn’t have come back if I were her, after all that had happened. And after having her come and go for days on end, only returning to reality when I walked away, I hadn’t had the courage to see her.
