by Natalie Grey
I turned to look as well. Sleepy students, most still in their pajamas, were streaming out of the buildings to take up residence in the gardens.
“Go join the others,” Maggie told me. She looked around my room, as if she might find evidence of illicit magic, but gave up and vanished the next moment, taking Akihito with her.
I pulled on my boots slowly, reluctant to leave the books behind. What if Maggie reappeared to search my room?
There wasn’t much chance of me stopping that either way, really, so I pushed myself up and looped the blanket over my shoulders before following the guards downstairs.
The courtyard was in chaos. Students were shouting across the flower-beds to one another. Each older student seemed to have been assigned a child to watch over, so their ability to talk quietly was compromised. The children, overexcited, raced to and fro, dragging their watchers along with them.
On the bench near the tower door, a few people in black robes were talking to the man I’d seen sleeping there the night before. He was shaking his head, clearly confused. Whatever had put people to sleep, no one seemed to know what it was.
A few people stared at me as I made my way over to the far corner and sat in the shadow of the wall. I gave a few perfunctory smiles when people looked over at me, but everyone looked away quickly. Most of them seemed surprised that I wasn’t currently being hauled off in the presence of guards, and it seemed suspicious to say that I was surprised, too.
A sparrow hopped up on the bench next to me and cocked its head to the side.
“Hello.” I smiled at it. I was definitely sleep-deprived at this point, but I didn’t care. “Good morning? Worms … worming?”
The sparrow laughed, a very human noise that made me jump. “It’s me,” Daiman explained.
I started laughing, hand still over my heart. “Holy—good grief.” I looked around. “You aren’t off investigating things?”
“The Coimeail have that in hand.” The sparrow fluttered up to a branch near my head and bobbed, one black eye fixed on me. “I’m rather surprised they didn’t accuse you right off the bat.”
“Oh, they did.” I rewrapped the blanket around my shoulders and leaned back against the wall, grinning. “Maggie and Akihito came to catch me in the act. They were very surprised to find me in my bed.” A thought occurred to me. “By the way, do you ever transform into a mouse?”
“What?”
“Nothing.” I looked out over the crowd of people and felt my face fall. The rush of adrenaline from not being caught red-handed was wearing off, and I was remembering what I had read just before the sirens started.
“You don’t look like you slept much.”
I looked sharply at sparrow-Daiman, but he sounded concerned.
“Yeah, well.” I picked at my boots.
“There’s nothing to fear from Terric,” Daiman assured me.
I snorted derisively.
“What?”
“I—” I broke off, suddenly realizing that if I told him where I had heard the rumor about Terric, the students might be punished. I considered the best lie to tell. “When I used my magic, I thought I remembered something from my past: someone telling me that if the Coimeail knew what kind of magic I did, they would kill me.”
“What?” The sparrow hopped down onto the ground and transformed, and Daiman stood up from a crouch. He sat next to me on the bench, heedless of the attention his sudden appearance had garnered. “No,” he told me, shaking his head seriously. “That is not what will happen.”
“Oh, really?” I looked over at him. Fordwin Delaney thought it was what should happen. But I wasn’t sure I was supposed to know that. I racked my brain, and then realized I had the perfect out. I always did. “You said Terric’s last name was Delaney, right?”
“Yes,” Daiman said cautiously. He was clearly worried by this sudden shift in questioning.
“Is he related to Fordwin Delaney?” I asked bluntly. “And who is Fordwin Delaney?”
“Ah.” Daiman relaxed at once. He sat back against the wall.
I tried not to notice how his shirt fell across his abs, and looked away to hide my blush.
“Terric was Fordwin’s protégé,” Daiman explained easily. There was clearly no secret here. “Fordwin led the Separatist movement, but after Terric killed Nicola Beaumont, everyone united behind him, instead. It wasn’t exactly fair, but Fordwin took it well enough, I’m told. He was someone for whom the cause was more important than his place in it.”
“Oh.” I kept picking at my boot. I looked back, making sure not to look at his abs again. “So where is Fordwin now?”
“Why do you ask?” He frowned at me.
“I’m just remembering things. Bits and pieces, but I don’t know how any of it fits together.” The lie came out easily, although as I said the words, I had the feeling that they were true in their own way. After all, I had remembered how to use my magic, hadn’t I? “Maybe someone told me about him,” I temporized, and added, with a stroke of inspiration, “I know I’m afraid of him, that’s all.”
Daiman’s brows shot up. “Afraid? Of Fordwin?” He blew out a breath. “I suppose that would make sense.”
“Because of my powers,” I said bitterly.
“Because you were raised by Monarchists.” He corrected me gravely. “And I know the Coimeail were … disconcerted, but there is no reason your powers should be any more destructive than anyone else’s.”
“Really.” I stared him down.
“Any power can be beneficial or destructive. Wind or lightning or stone could do as much damage as you did, easily.” He shrugged one well-muscled shoulder. “It’s our choices that make us who we are.”
“Yeah, and I chose to attack one of the Coimeail.”
He accepted that silently, and we sat while dawn broke. Finally he stood, but he waited until I looked up at him.
“You didn’t choose to attack Akihito,” he told me. “They said the same thing you just did, but I don’t believe it. I believe you chose to save the rabbit, just like you tried to save your prote—like you tried to save Sarah.” He said the name carefully, as if to convince me that he hadn’t forgotten.
My heart squeezed at the memory.
“And that’s what I’ll tell Terric when he arrives,” Daiman assured me. I know you must be terrified. I know it’s hard to have them bind your powers and leave you guarded, but you’re not in this alone. I brought you here because I believe it is the best place for you. I will not let anything happen to you.”
He gave me a smile as strained as it was gorgeous, and disappeared without another word. A hawk’s wings beat up into the morning air and I traced the bird’s flight to the highest tower. To where the Coimeail were.
I wanted to trust him, however stupid that made me, but I was at least sensible enough to know that I couldn’t. The more I learned, the more I was sure that Daiman Bradach didn’t know much about the place he had brought me—and, even more stupidly, all I could think was how it was going to break his heart when he found out the truth.
11
It wasn’t, I told myself that night, that I didn’t think Fordwin knew what he was talking about. Terric Delaney had killed the black plague lady, so clearly he knew what he was on about, and from the way Daiman told the story, it sounded like Terric hadn’t actually surpassed Fordwin so much as been in the right place at the right time. Therefore, it stood to reason that Fordwin—still considered a strong sorcerer—knew what he was talking about when he said the only way to suppress dark magic was to kill the sorcerer.
However, motivated by the simple fact that I didn’t want to die, I was determined to try anyway.
I spent most of the day in my room, watching as people strode to and fro. Whoever had set the castle to sleep, no one seemed to know what else they had done, and why. And as for why I alone had remained awake….
Well, I wasn’t going to betray myself by asking that question aloud.
I feared that the Coimeail wou
ld return to my room again, but as the day passed with no sign of them, I gave up on my secrecy and started sneaking glances at the two books I had borrowed. Fordwin discussed fire, his specialty, in depth, but there seemed little I could use from his discussion of technique. Without fire of my own, how could I burn away the magic or make a wall from fire between myself and my powers?
The book on the types of magic gave me little more to work with, though I learned more about the way magic spread in the world.
No one, it seemed, knew how to predict where a sorcerer would be born—or what their powers would be. Extensive charts showed the attempts to link sorcerers and types of powers to different demographics, but none seemed to have been successful. Sorcerers were born to non-magical parents—there was not a single report of a sorcerer being born to sorcerer parents—all over the world.
And Daiman was right. About half of them were consumed by their own powers in early childhood. There were stories, though I could only stomach a few before I leafed forward in the book.
There was a reprieve from sadness in the chapter about the origins of human myths. Werewolves, the book claimed, were nothing more than druids, though no one seemed to know why the legends always seemed to settle on wolves instead of bears or hawks, the other two most common animal forms used by druids. Vampires, meanwhile, were either nothing but hysterical imaginings—or genuine stories from a few sorcerers who attempted ever-darker means to increase their power, including drinking human blood.
Eyes wide, I flipped forward. Water, ice, fire, stone, plants…. The list of specialties was many and varied, with many entries showing up under multiple categories, with author’s notes to the effect that, yes, an affinity for river waters could be considered distinct from an affinity for water in general, and so on.
There were stories of famous sorcerers and noteworthy magical events, but though I read carefully, I saw no mention of sorcerers losing their magic or locking it away.
Which just meant I was going to have to come up with my own way.
Again, I waited for the castle to quiet itself and opened the door to my room.
The rogue sorcerer had woven their same spell again. I considered going to the Coimeail to tell them that…. Wait, what was I planning to tell them, that someone was walking the halls of the castle, taking nothing and doing no harm? I shook my head at my own foolishness. In any case, I knew the Coimeail would only have questions about my imperviousness to the spell, and I didn’t feel like answering those.
I walked down the stairs more confidently this time. I had a plan, and an idea of what I must do. I made my way across the gravel walkways to the large gates and stood in front of them until they swung open silently to let me out.
I paused there. I looked over my shoulder to the towers and wondered where Daiman was.
It had only occurred to me now that if the spell succeeded, the castle might vanish. I might never see Daiman again—or get to say goodbye. I looked at the bench where we had sat that morning, and rubbed at my eyes.
Best to get it over with. This was the only way forward, and I knew it. I turned, and headed out into the waving grass.
I was crying as I knelt down in the starlight. Now that we came to it, I was cutting something out of myself that had been important all my life. I wasn’t just taking myself away from Terric Delaney and the Coimeail with this, but also from everyone who had tried to shield me over the years. Sarah had sacrificed herself for my magic. How many others had done the same?
No one would have to in the future, I resolved.
The only thing I had to work with to take my power, was my power, itself. And that was hidden behind Maggie’s spell of ice. I laid my palm over my heart and felt the blood pulsing strong within me. My power was there, underneath whatever tracery she had laid in my veins.
I pictured Akihito’s chair disintegrating into dust. If I could do it to the chair, surely I could do it to Maggie’s spell, too. After all, the spell only stood between my power and the outside world, didn’t it? That meant I could eat away at it as poison ate away at a glass vial.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture it: a layer of ice inside my chest, wearing away like snowbanks in spring. She had said—what had she said? That I wouldn’t be able to harm anyone. And I wasn’t going to, I thought. I didn’t know if the spell could hear me, but there was no harm in reassuring it, surely.
Except there was something wrong. The pain hit me without warning and I doubled over on the ground. My blood was ice-cold. It was shattering, the shards would kill me, I couldn’t move, I was going to die here—
Someone flipped me over onto my back and laid a hand over my heart. There was warmth, blessed warmth, and the pain receded gradually as the heat seeped into me. I sagged back on the ground, eyes closed, panting in pain.
“So….” Daiman’s voice was halfway between amused and annoyed. “Are you going to tell me what you were trying to do?”
12
I looked up at his stony face with all the dignity I could muster. That wasn’t much at this stage, but there was nothing to be done about it. “I was trying to dissolve my powers,” I said. “Now, help me up.”
He only raised an eyebrow.
“Fine. I’ll get up myself.” I pushed myself up off the ground and tried to stand, only to sit down again with a thump when the world spun. “Or maybe I’ll sit for a while.”
Daiman took a seat next to me. “Talk,” he commanded.
I gave a groan and flopped over backwards onto the ground. I was in no mood for this, and I didn’t have enough give-a-crap left in me to come up with clever lies.
“Okay. You want to know?” I opened one eye to look at him. “You really want to know?”
“Yes.” The word sounded like it might really mean no, but he was nodding his head. “I really do,” he added.
“All right.” I pushed myself up again. The poor man had no idea what he was in for, and I couldn’t decide if that was funny or sad. “So I was the one who set off the alarms in the library last night.”
He gave me a look that said he’d expected as much, but had kind of hoped differently.
“Or….” I considered. “Not, actually. I was in the library, but I was back in my room by the time the alarms went off. And I don’t know anything about the sleeping people, either,” I added, just to head off that accusation. “I really don’t. But they’re sleeping tonight, too.”
“I noticed that.” Daiman’s voice was determinedly neutral. “And why were you in the library?”
I sighed and tried to decide where to start. “Because it wasn’t Sarah who told me that Terric would have me killed. It was some of the students here. I overheard them talking. One of them said that the note sent for Terric was bringing him back to assess my powers and ‘deal with me’ if I was too dangerous.”
Daiman made a strangled sort of sound.
I ignored him. “So I went to the library to see if I could find any books that would help me take my magic away. No magic, no reason for Terric to kill me, right? And that’s why I’m here, that’s what I’m trying to do. But you should know—since apparently Terric is Fordwin’s protégé—that Fordwin believed the only way to control dark powers was to kill the user. And if you don’t believe me, the book is currently under my mattress.” I looked up to see him gaping at me. “So? Thoughts?”
“Uh.” He looked away for a moment. “You probably shouldn’t have gone in the library.”
I didn’t take issue with that, mostly because I could tell it was the only thing he could come up with to say after my story. I looked down at my hands and busied myself with weaving a few strands of grass together.
“The students were wrong,” he told me. “I understand why you did what you did, but they’re wrong. It’s natural to feel scared. Terric would never hurt you, though. I promise.”
“You shouldn’t promise for other people.” I didn’t look at him.
There was a long silence after that, and I found myself w
ishing that he would go. I didn’t like telling him these things. I was sure they were true, and I was sure he was only going to feel worse when he saw that they were true. But I still didn’t want to be the one who broke his trust.
“You really believe all of it, don’t you?” My voice was quiet. “How important this place is. Everything.”
“Yes.” He answered without hesitation. “Do you not see it?”
I chose my words carefully before answering. “Someone hid me,” I said finally. “They went to a lot of trouble, and for all I know, Sarah wasn’t the first person to die for me. She talked about living her life free, not being a slave. You see what this place could be—and maybe, I don’t know, it is like that. But if that was all there was to it, do you really think the Monarchists would die to oppose it? Do you think the students would be afraid of Terric? They said a little boy had come back once and just disappeared, no one ever saw him again.”
“They’re wrong,” Daiman said simply.
“Do you know that, or do you just want it to be true?”
For a moment, I thought I had pressed too far. He took a deep breath and looked away from me.
“I don’t mean to call you a liar, I don’t think you’re lying to me.” I stumbled over the words. “I just wonder if there are some things you aren’t seeing—like Sarah never saw that kid who was so happy to be at the Acadamh.”
Daiman’s face softened at that. He gave a sad smile, looking down at his knees.
“I wonder about you,” he said finally. “Where you came from. What you’ve seen. You’re a Monarchist. I didn’t want to think well of you. I thought you’d be like your protector, you’d try to stab me as soon as my back was turned, but you never did. You didn’t look down on me for being a druid, either.”
“People look down on you for that?” I frowned.
“A lot of sorcerers believe that since they were born with their power, that makes them special. More so than druids.” He shrugged. “It was one of the big contentions in the Monarchist camp, and why so few druids aligned themselves there.”
