“Sup?”
“Xavier?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s your…Its Jackson.”
“Yeah hey.”
“How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“I just wanted to check in to make sure you and your friends made it back safely.”
“Yeah we did, sorry I’ve just been busy.”
“It’s fine. I know that things didn’t go that well and I feel like you still have a lot of questions that I would like to try to answer to I hope that you will be willing to meet again. I could come there to see you if you’d like, whatever will make it easier.”
“Yeah maybe. I’ll let you know. It’s kind of hard to find time right now.”
“Well just let me know. Call anytime, anytime at all and if you need anything, well I’m sure you don’t but just in case you do please feel free to ask.”
“Yeah I will.”
“Xavier, things aren’t perfect, I just want to try. I need to try.”
“I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay son hopefully we can talk soon.”
Son, so I’m your son now, where the hell where you when Johnny was using me as a punching bag. I guess I’m your son when it’s convenient for you. You’ve got your perfect little family already, no need to try and fit me into it to ease your conscious. I’m over that and I’m over you
The more I thought about it the more pissed I got. Let him tell it the only reason for not being a part of my life was because my mother wouldn’t let him. How dare he make it all her fault. He took the easy route back then by just walking away and he’s taking the easy route now by blaming her for it. I’m over it, forget him He wasn’t there for me back then when I needed him to be and there was no need to change that now.
“What ups Zay?” I looked up to see Trey standing in my doorway.
“Sup.”
“You going to that party in 111 tonight?”
“Yeah I’m down.”
“You putting in or you chillin’.” Trey asked trying to find out if I was drinking tonight.
“I’m in.” I stood up and opened my practice bag to get my wallet out. I pulled out three twenties and handed them to Trey.
“All of it?” Trey asked.
“Yeah, it’s been a long day.”
“I feel ya. Any request?
“Nah, I’m good with whatever.”
“Alright, bruh.”
I needed to talk to Ky but I knew that she was going to want to talk about my dad and that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. She was concerned and just wanted to make sure I was okay but she couldn’t help me with this, no matter how much she wanted to. I wasn’t interested in a happy ending. I just wanted to move on with my life. I had survived on my own all this time so there was no need to change that now.
It was almost seven and 111 wouldn’t start kicking off until about ten so I decided to take a shower, eat and catch a nap. If I planned on getting lost in a bottle tonight I needed to be ready for it.
-----
The halls were packed as always, every time there was a party in our dorm the entire campus showed up. Athletes always had the best parties, the most alcohol, all the girls and the privilege to be overlooked by the authorities including campus security. I had two missed calls from Ky and I knew that it was going to lead to an argument but I just couldn’t deal with her right now. I was on a mission to get lost in a bottle of something strong. I probably would have smoked something if I could've guaranteed that I would have been able to skate past the random drug test that coach pulled but with the way my luck had be lately I would have been selected the next day. I had already been caught out there my freshman year and coach said one more time and I would lose my scholarship. No sense in taking that chance so I figured that I would stick to drinking.
“Well, well stranger. It must be a special night.”
The way Kayla smiled at me let me know that I needed to stay away from her tonight or I was going to get myself in trouble
“Stranger, that’s you. I’ve been around.”
“Not around me.” She said with a disappointed look.
“True, I’ve just been chillin’ though.”
“Mmhmm, people talk. You’re on lock down apparently.”
“Why you say that?” I knew she was talking about Ky.
“You know why. She coming tonight?”
I laughed. “Nah, just me tonight.”
“Good. I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sure. I’ll catch up with you later though.”
“Depends on how faithful you plan on being tonight.” I knew exactly where she was going with that and I was trying my best to stay as far away from it as possible.
“I guess that means I better stay away from you then.”
“I don’t know if I can let that happen. I really missed you.” She moved closer to me stood on her toes and kissed me on the neck which made me look around as if I half expected Ky to magically appear and catch me in the middle of this.
“Sorry but you know my situation.” I backed away from her and she grinned like I had just told the biggest lie ever.
“I know you, so we’ll just have to see about that a little later.” She grabbed my jeans right at my belt buckle and then backed away from me smiling. I just shook my head and laughed. Trouble with a capital T hell and ROUBLE!
I walked into 111 and the music was blasting. People were everywhere holding solo cups and beer bottles not fazed by the fact that most of us were under aged and would get in serious trouble if anyone important decided to show up and shut us down.
“What's up Zay, what you drinking?” Trey yelled when he saw me clearly he had been at this for a while.
I walked over and picked up one of the plastic shot glasses that were stacked on the counter, filled it with rum and then turned it up. After three more I grabbed a beer and looked around to check out who was in the room. Damn, Chelle is here I downed two more shots grabbed a six pack of Heineken and left before she noticed that I was in the room. I just wanted to get drunk I wasn’t really interested in being sociable so I left 111 headed straight for the stairwell and sat down. I used the edge of the stairs to open the first beer and turned it up, within minutes it was gone. I could already feel the effects of the shots because my head was swimming and I was beginning to lose focus. I was drifting and it felt good. It had been awhile since I had crossed that line and I missed the way it made me feel. I felt no pain, nothing at all and nothing is exactly what I needed right now.
“Are you hiding?”
“I had my elbows propped up on my knees with my head lowered onto my wrist so I couldn’t see who was talking to me. I was wasted and could barely keep my eyes opened so when I lifted my head to see, I had to try hard to focus.
“You’re gone aren’t you? What did you drink?” Kayla asked before she sat down next to me. I could feel her rubbing my thigh and then she moved her hand under my shirt and onto my back.
“I don’t really remember.” I said and laughed.
“You wanna get out of here?”
“Nah, I’m good right here. I don’t think I can anyway.”
“I’ll help you. What floor you on?”
“Third.” I knew that I was playing with fire but I answered anyway.
“Come on lets go.” She stood up and grabbed both of my hands to try and pull me to my feet but the second I was up right I felt like I was going to fall so I sat back down.
“You are so gone.” She said and laughed, “Let’s try this again.” She repeated her actions but this time I felt her arm go around my waist while she ducked under me causing my arm to land on her shoulder and it took me a minute but I found my balance.
“I don’t know if we’re going to make it up two flights of stairs but we can try.” She tightened her grip around my waist and I felt myself leaning on her. After several stops and too many near misses we made it to my room. I pulled my key out of my pocket and handed it to he
r so that she could unlock my bedroom door. The second that I was inside I fell onto my bed and rolled over onto my back.
“Just leave my key over there.” I said and pointed to my dresser which she did and then sat down next to me.
“Preciate, I think I’m about to crash.” I didn’t need whatever she was offering and especially not in my room. That’s something that I just didn’t do, I always felt like Ky would walk in somehow automatically know that I had smashed another girl in there. Kayla wasn’t backing down so easily though.
“It’s still early and I missed you.” I could feel her hand start at my thigh and then make its way to my zipper so I grabbed her hand to stop her. I sat up and backed away from her.
“I’m good.”
“Exactly.” She moved near me again and grabbed my belt. “You just relax, I got this.” I knew where she was going with that and I knew I was wrong but I stopped fighting her. A few minutes later I was laid back eyes closed and she was doing her thing. Man, I just messed up but this wasn’t exactly cheating if I didn’t participate, right?
Chapter 20
Kya Renee
It was almost eleven and I still hadn’t heard from Xavier. I tried everything I could to keep my mind off of him but it was starting to get to me. After I called him twice and still didn’t get an answer or a call back my insecurities started to get the best of me and I knew that I wasn’t going to be satisfied until I talked to him. I threw a few things in a bag and made up my mind to go see him. I didn’t know if I would stay but just in case I wanted to be prepared. Hell he might not even be there Toni and Ethan had gone to the movies which meant there wasn’t anybody there to talk me out of it so I was on my own and definitely going. When I was done packing my bag I pulled on a pair of leggings, a sweatshirt and my Chucks before I shut off everything in my room, locked my door and left.
When I pulled up at Xavier’s dorm the parking lot was full and I could see random groups of people standing outside so I figured that there had to be a party going on. So this is why I’m being ignored I was a little pissed because this was supposed to be our night to spend time together and with his game schedule for this week, I probably wasn’t going to see him much if at all. I parked and decided to leave my bag in the car since I wasn’t even sure if I was going to be able to find him and made my way to the front door. When I walked inside it was loud with people yelling and music blasting. I did a quick survey of the crowd to see if I could find Xavier in the lobby and when I didn’t spot him anywhere I decided to try his room first so I made my way down the hall to the stairwell.
When I reached the third floor and pulled the door open I ran right into a girl leaving Xavier’s room. She smiled at me and kept going without saying a word which gave me a crappy feeling in my gut. His dorm room was dark and quiet and I was praying that Xavier wasn’t in there. Please don’t let him be in there! The second I got to his room and found him asleep on his bed I wanted to explode. That trick had been there with him.
I flipped the switch on the wall and then kicked his leg. “I guess this is why you’ve been ignoring me all night.”
He opened his eyes and then quickly closed them again because of the light. They were flaming red and not from lack of sleep. “What are you talking about?” He mumbled and then tried to open his eyes again.
“Who was that?”
“I have no idea what you're talking about.” He sat up and tried to focus on me. I could tell that he was drunk which definitely did not help the situation.
“So I guess I'm imagining the girl that just left here.”
“That wasn't anybody.”
“Oh so I’m stupid now.” I yelled.
“What are you talking about?” He sat up and rubbed his forehead and then peered at me barely able to open his eyes.
“Don't worry about it.” I flipped the light switch back off and headed towards the door but he stood up and grabbed my arm.
“Where you going?”
“Back to my dorm. So please let me go.”
“Stop acting crazy, it’s too late for you to be going anywhere.” He was talking really slow but I could tell that he was a little more focused.
He let go of my arm and I backed away from him. “Oh so now you care.”
He looked at me clearly aggravated and I couldn’t tell if it was because of what I was saying or because he felt bad. “You wanna just tell me what we’re arguing about because I have absolutely no idea and my head is killing me.”
“That’s what happens when you drink too much.”
“So you’re mad because I’ve been drinking?”
“I’m mad because I’ve been calling you all day, you never called me back, you’re drunk and some random girl just left your room.”
“You called me twice and I didn’t call you back forgive me for having a shitty day and just wanting to just chill. So what, I drank too much for the first time in forever is that really a reason for you to be acting like the world is about to end.”
“Nope, not at all.” I said calmly and then walked out of his room heading towards the door. If you don’t give a shit then I don’t either.
Before I could reach their main door he caught up with me and grabbed me from behind.
“Ky chill, I said you’re not going anywhere. It’s too late.”
“I’ll be fine, I made it here didn’t I. Please let me go.” He had his arms locked tightly around my chest so I really couldn’t move.
“I’m not about to fight with you but you’re not leaving so you need to just chill out.” He let go and stepped in front of me.
I was pissed but I didn’t really want to leave and I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let me anyway so I stopped fighting him and gave up.
“I need my bag out of the car.” I rolled my eyes at him. “If you can manage that.” I said dryly.
He didn’t respond. He just reached for my key and took it out of my hand. I sat down on the sofa while he went back in his room and came back out pulling a sweatshirt over his head.
“Where’d you park?”
“In the front the last row. I need my book bag too.”
“I’ll be right back.” He said without looking at me and then walked out the door.
Xavier Lee
“I’m about to take a shower.”
Kya just looked at me but she didn’t say a word. I knew she was pissed so I left her in the living room doing homework. I figured she wasn’t really doing anything important but she was mad at me and doing homework was a perfect way for her to ignore me. My head was killing me but the drinks were slowly fading and I was regretting my decision to get wasted in the first place.
I turned on the shower and got the water as hot as I could tolerate it before I went back in my room and grabbed a towel and wash cloth out of my closet. I shut the door, shed my clothes and stepped. I held my head under the water and it burned my face a little but it felt good. I knew that I was going to have to have a conversation with Ky about tonight but I just wasn’t in the mood to do it now. I hope she doesn’t ask me about Kayla again Even though I didn’t have sex with her, let’s just say she handled a few things for me. I was dead ass wrong and I knew it but it was too late to worry about it. Damn, I need to get my shit together!
After I had showered and dressed I checked on Ky knowing that she wasn’t going to talk to me unless I made her. The living room was dark and quite where I found Ky sitting Indian style in the corner of the sofa asleep with her laptop propped up on her legs. I picked it up, closed it and sat it on the coffee table followed by her glasses before I sat down next to her. She immediately opened her eyes when my weight on the sofaa forced her body to lean towards me.
“You still mad at me.” I asked as she struggled to get her balance and sit up. She uncrossed her legs and lowered them to the floor.
“Don’t you think I deserve to be?” She mumbled still half asleep.
“Do you ever need a reason to be?” I said jokingly ho
ping to avoid an argument.
“I’m glad this is funny to you.” She said and attempted to stand but I pulled her back towards me causing her to fall into my lap. I closed my arms around her body so that she couldn’t move but she didn’t try to anyway.
“Are you mad because I drank too much or because I ignored you all day.”
“Both.”
“I know you don’t get it but sometimes I just need break.”
“From me?”
“From everything?”
“Wow.”
I could tell that her feelings were hurt which wasn’t making things any better.
“Your life is so simple, no matter what happens your parents are right there to support every decision you make good or bad. If you mess up they’re right there to help you figure it out. I don’t have that. I’m basically on my own I don’t have anybody so sometimes I just need time to clear my head and try to figure things out.”
“I thought you had me.” She sounded offended.
“See that’s not what I mean. It’s not about you, it’s about me. I don’t have mom and dad to fix things when I screw up so I’m constantly stressed trying to make sure I’m doing the right thing because if I fail, I just fail and it would be different if it was just me but I’ve gotta worry about Leigh. I’m her brother, her dad pretty much everything. It’s just me and that’s a lot so yeah sometimes I need a break from things, even you. I just need a minute sometimes for things to just be about me.”
“You make it seem like I make things worse for you if you need a break from me too.”
“This is exactly what I’m talking about, you don’t hear me. You don’t understand how hard it is for me sometimes. When you think about relationships you see the only thing you know and that’s your parents all relationships aren't that easy and that’s a lot for me to live up to. I feel like I have to work so hard to be what you need me to be and that takes a lot out of me. So it’s not that you make things hard, I just feel like I have to work so hard to create that fairytale for you to be what you want me to be. It’s exhausting so yeah I need a break from that sometimes.”
Kya & Xavier: It's Always Been You (Life As We Know It Book 1) Page 25
