by Cathie Linz
“I’m certain she’ll have a good time. If you don’t push her so hard to succeed. The point is to have fun.”
“I was told this class would improve her dexterity and motor skills.”
“Her motor skills are fine. What she needs more than anything else right now is love and reassurance. How have things been going on that front?”
He shrugged, absently rubbing one hand down his right thigh.
Curt was such a force to be reckoned with, that more often than not she completely forgot about his limp and the fact that it might be causing him pain.
She knew him better than to show him any sympathy. “Would you mind if we sat down?” Jessica said, nodding toward a nearby park bench. “I’ve been on the go since early this morning assisting the Easter Bunny in hiding the eggs here.”
Joining her, his limp a tad bit more noticeable than usual, he said, “Where is the Easter Bunny?” Casting her a suddenly suspicious look, he added, “You better not be harboring any hope that I’m gonna dress in some stupid-looking rabbit costume.”
She was trying very hard not to harbor any hopes about him period. But it was hard not to when she saw him working so hard to be a good father to his daughter. Even when he didn’t get it right, there was still something about him that was able to score a direct hit on her heart.
She’d tried to be logical and figure out what it was about Curt that got to her. She’d considered the possibility that she was viewing him through the rose-colored glasses of a first love—even if it had been a first love that had gone wrong. But logic didn’t seem to play a role in her reaction. And it wasn’t just physical, either. Instead it was a much more dangerous thing—an emotional reaction.
Oh, sure, there was plenty of sexual chemistry between them. The kiss at his apartment the other night had proven that without a doubt. But there was more to it than that.
“Jessie?” He waved a hand in front of her face. “You didn’t answer my question. So I’ll rephrase it as a statement. I am not going to dress up like the Easter Bunny.”
“I wouldn’t dream of having you do so,” she replied. “I certainly wouldn’t want to ruffle that military dignity of yours.”
The truth was that he’d done plenty of volunteer work for Toys for Tots, the Marine Corps designated charity, bringing holiday cheer to underprivileged kids. After all, he’d been there, so he knew what it was like not to have anyone care enough about you to get a present for you.
But even at those events, he’d steered clear of the little kids like Blue and focused his attention on the troubled adolescents and teenagers. He’d never felt comfortable around rug-rats, had always felt like he was a bumbling bull in a china store, had always been afraid of the damage he might do.
“I don’t ruffle easily,” he growled, as much for his own benefit as for hers.
Blue wasn’t the only one who ruffled him. Jessie did, too. She still felt as out of reach as ever, despite the way she’d responded to his kiss. He was sure she’d regretted it moments afterward. And so had he. God knew, he had enough on his plate without adding a woman to the mix.
For the past ten years, his life had consisted of a series of moves from one assignment to another, of training and conditioning, of dangerous missions and volatile situations. Of owing his loyalty to the marines, where the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.
His sexual needs had been taken care of over the years by women who knew what they were getting into, who wanted a no-strings affair, who were able to kiss him goodbye without clinging to him, allowing him to walk away without turning back.
But he was no longer footloose. Now he had ties. What would happen when his leg recovered? And he was determined that it would recover, no matter what the medics said. He wasn’t going to be stuck training “squids” the rest of his military life. He was a man of action. He wanted to return to his platoon.
And what would happen to Blue if he did return to active duty? He watched her smiling shyly at another child as they searched a low bush for more eggs. Other marines had kids. But many also had spouses or other family members who looked after said children while the marines did their duty for their nation.
Maybe that’s what he needed. A wife.
Yeah, right. Like it was something he could just put on his shopping list along with frozen dinners and milk.
Maybe not. But maybe he needed to apply his time-honored and battle-tested leadership traits to the current situation. He’d learned how to improvise, overcome and adapt to get the job done. In this case the job was raising Blue.
A wife would definitely make things easier, for himself and for Blue. He wasn’t being totally selfish here. The little girl could use some feminine influence for all that kissing and cuddling emotional stuff.
Jessie was sure good at it. And she’d be a great mom, too. She’d probably make a good wife, too, albeit a bossy one.
Jessie as his wife. Now there was a concept.
Shaking his head, Curt had to laugh. Somehow he couldn’t see her going along with his plans.
Yeah, she’d kissed him. And she’d been damn good at it, too. But he was still the bad boy, and she was still Jessie the Brain. Why would she want to get involved with a gimpy marine? It wasn’t as though he had much to offer her.
For the time being, he’d just have to manage things one day at a time. For the next month at least, he’d still be regaining the use of his leg. After that point, he’d have to see what developed.
Chapter 6
“WHERE DO YOU FIND the time?” Lisa, her teaching assistant, asked Jessica early Wednesday morning before the kids arrived. “You’re always here before anyone else and you stay longer afterward as well. Where do you find the time to have a life?”
“What life?” Jessica retorted, only half kidding.
The truth was that Jessica devoted most of her time to her job, and it seemed to have gotten worse lately. Which was fine by her. The extra hours spent working prevented her from thinking too much about things she shouldn’t. Like Curt. Or the fact that Trevor hadn’t called back since their date last week. No surprise there.
Actually Trevor wasn’t the issue here. It was Curt. After spending much of Saturday with him at the Easter Egg hunt, she could feel herself softening toward him. Nervous at that realization, she’d thrown herself into her work even more so than usual the past few days.
Looking around her room, Jessica noted with pride that the extra time she’d put in showed. To her own eyes if to no one else’s. She was a strong believer in the way that one’s physical surroundings affected how people feel. It was one of the reasons her own home followed a streamlined format, with just a few choice pieces of furniture in each room.
Here at work, the building had been completely renovated into four large spaces for four classrooms and one smaller area for the office. Two of the areas were reserved for morning and afternoon preschool sessions, while the other two were for longer day-care situations. Within her classroom were clearly defined and well-equipped interest areas designed to promote a child’s ability to learn through play.
In the front corner was the so-called “house” corner where the children could play house, or store, or a variety of roles. Today she’d come in early to set it up as a grocery store, complete with appropriate props like a counter, play money and shelves with preschooler-size cans and artificial fruits and vegetables for sale.
In the back corner were the table toys, with a large table to spread out puzzles and games that encouraged kids to match, sort and make patterns.
Beside that was what Jessica ruefully referred to as Water Beach. A nearby sink provided the water while the large sandbox provided the sand. Here the kids did everything from sifting sand to water play, exploring why some objects sink and others float. Plenty of plastic measuring cups, sifters and strainers were available in this section.
A safe distance away from that was the reading corner where a large selection of books were stacked in cubbyholes
and baskets, easily accessible for small hands to pull out and look through. Beside that was the computer and art corner.
In fact, she’d just changed the art display of the children’s work to show the brightly colored crayon drawings they’d made of their experiences at Saturday’s Easter Egg hunt.
She put in the extra time and effort because she wanted the kids to all know that they were important and valued.
“The new display looks great,” Lisa was saying. “You’ve got a real eye for that sort of thing. When I put the pictures up they look like a jumbled mess. But when you do it, each one takes on a life of its own.”
“Thanks, but we’re a team here. I couldn’t do it without you.” Lisa and the other assistant, Tawanna, each supervised a group of four or five kids at one of the play stations while Jessica worked with them at another. That way each child got a variety of experiences.
But it did require a great deal of organization. The schedule was one even a marine like Curt would be proud of.
Her day might seem like a jumble of removing coats, telling stories, singing songs, eating snacks and playing on swings and in sandboxes—but it had to have a balance of active and quiet times, large group activities and small group interaction as well as indoor and outdoor play. However, Jessica was flexible enough so that if something was especially successful there was no reason to stop it just because her schedule stated it was time to do something else.
Semper Gumby. Curt’s words about being flexible came back to her as so many of his words seemed to lately. And not just his words. There was still that kiss that neither one of them had mentioned.
“So what’s on the agenda today?” Lisa asked, her long dark hair swinging around her shoulders as she leaned down to gently shove a puzzle box back into place. The shelves were neat and uncluttered so that the kids weren’t overwhelmed and were easily able to seek out and find what they wanted.
“Today is sand castle-building day, among other things,” Jessica replied.
Lisa grinned. “My favorite.”
“Let’s just pray they don’t all want to build sand castles at the same time.”
While some programs had the children rotating from one activity to another at a signal from the teacher, here the children had a say in what they wanted to do next.
“I think shopping could provide some strong competition,” Lisa said.
“And then we’ve got those easels set up in the art corner,” Jessica added. “I think there’s plenty to tempt them.”
“Speaking of tempting,” Lisa said, “did you notice that Blue’s dad came to the Easter Egg hunt in his dress blues uniform?”
“He was hard to miss.”
“He sure was. I noticed him that first day when he dropped off Blue. He wore the same uniform then.” Lisa sighed and rolled her gorgeous almond-shaped eyes the way only a nineteen-year-old could. There were times when Jessica felt decades older than her Asian-American assistant. When she’d made love with Curt, Jessica had been only a year younger than Lisa. She’d still had stars in her eyes. That was no longer the case.
“I thought you were going in for the academic type these days,” Jessica reminded her.
Lisa’s dark eyes were dreamy as she sighed again. “There’s just something about a man in uniform.”
Especially if that man was Curt.
It was ridiculous of her to feel a sting of jealousy just because Lisa, who was younger and much prettier, happened to notice Curt, who probably went in for younger prettier women rather than quiet preschool teachers who couldn’t have children.
There it was again, that label attached to her identity.
She knew it wasn’t Curt’s fault that her doubts and insecurities had returned en masse. This was a private battle and one she’d have to fight on her own. But it did serve to prove how vulnerable she was where Curt was concerned.
“Were you two girlfriends talking about that fine, fine marine?” Tawanna demanded as she joined them. At fifty, with four grandchildren of her own, Tawanna had a lusty passion for life that Jessica admired. With her short dark hair and flawless ebony complexion, Tawanna looked younger than her age. A self-proclaimed “large” woman and proud of it, she delighted in wearing brilliant colors. Today she’d selected a flowing caftan in lemon yellow and purple. “Back up and tell me what I missed.”
“You missed nothing,” Jessica maintained. “Did you bring in those pictures of your new granddaughter like you promised?”
Hands on her ample hips, Tawanna fixed her with a reprimanding stare. “If you think you can distract me by talking about my new grandbaby, let me tell you right now…” She broke into a huge smile. “You’re right.”
A moment later she whipped out an orange packet of photographs and proceeded to give a colorful interpretation of each shot. By the time she was finished, the children were beginning to arrive.
Engrossed with quickly putting the finishing touches on the store setup, Jessica didn’t see Curt when he dropped off Blue. He’d made a point lately of bringing himself to Jessica’s attention as he strode into a room that seemed to shrink with the power of his presence.
Even the kids noticed it. And him. Every time class hellion Brian saw Curt, he asked him where his tank was.
But this morning Blue was the one clamoring for Jessica’s attention. “Jessie, Jessie, Jessie!”
The little girl raced toward her for her morning hug, staying still a brief moment before backing off with a shy smile. “Jessie come see me at kindergym!”
Blue stood there, her big brown eyes staring at her so intently, as she rocked slightly from side to side as if unable to contain her nervous excitement.
There were plenty of other things Jessica should be doing this Saturday. The wash was piling up, there was junk mail that needed sorting and her fridge was almost empty while her grocery list was an arm long.
But the bottom line was that Jessica simply didn’t have the heart to disappoint a little girl who’d already had more than her fair share of hard knocks. The errands and housework would have to wait.
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
“Promise?” Blue insisted.
“I promise.”
And so it was that Jessica found herself walking into the local community center on Saturday afternoon to join a bunch of other parents seated in one corner of the gymnasium. She hadn’t told Curt she was coming and didn’t know if Blue had alerted him. The little girl had talked of little else for the remainder of the week, and she waved at Jessica the second she saw her.
“Your little girl is adorable,” the woman seated beside her said. “I’ve got five boys. I keep hoping for a girl.”
Your little girl. The words fell on top of Jessica like a load of bricks, bruising her with their forbidden promise.
“She’s not mine,” Jessica curtly replied, her voice sounding rudely abrupt even to her own ears.
The other woman was clearly flustered. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought…”
“That’s okay,” Jessica said, but it wasn’t. How could it be? When she wished with all her heart that Blue was hers.
She would have gotten up and left but for the fact that Blue looked up and waved at her again, this time shouting, “Watch me, watch me!” She did a tumbling routine that had more sheer joy than coordination.
Meanwhile Curt, with clipboard in hand, was studying his daughter as critically as any Olympic judge. Jessica half expected him to hold up score cards afterward. When would he learn?
Curt could feel Jessica’s disapproval even from halfway across the gymnasium and briefly wondered what he could possibly have done wrong this time. He hadn’t used the term winners or losers at all today. Instead he was teaching his daughter how to improve her tumbling routine. What harm could there possibly be in that?
“Okay,” he told her, “now focus, Blue. You are…?”
“A marine kid,” she replied, just as he’d taught her to.
“Who?” he prompted her.
“Never gives up. And is three. I can do it myself,” she told him, wiggling to be set free so she could attack the padded blue floor mat with another series of wobbly somersaults.
Holding on to her and staring her in the eye, Curt said, “You need to have a plan. Remember the Six P’s Rule?”
She blinked at him guilelessly. “Don’t hafta pee.”
Curt refused to blush. A marine never blushed. “I’m talking about the letter P. Proper Prior Prevention Prevents Poor Performance.” This was something he’d picked up way back in Intro to Survival Training, but Curt saw no reason why it shouldn’t work in this situation as well. “See how that boy over there balances so well? That’s what you’re aiming for, short-stuff. That’s your goal. Do you read me?”
Instead of saluting, she just grinned and patted him on the cheek before slipping away.
“Okay, moms and dads,” the instructor was saying. “It’s time to switch apparatus.”
“I don’t like aspar-gus,” Blue told her father with a frown. “It’s long and green.”
“She said apparatus, not asparagus,” Curt assured her. “Now remember our game plan.” He waved his clipboard at her as if hoping she’d be able to decipher the notes and diagrams he’d scribbled. Glancing down at them himself, he realized they were more complicated than most NFL teams’ game books. Like a general on a campaign, he’d drawn up an intricate set of battle plans.
Meanwhile his daughter was skipping toward the padded mat as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
“Watch me!” she yelled over the voices of the other kids in the class.
In the midst of her somersault she wavered like a drunk, her little fanny aimed at the ceiling, but she recovered enough to make it through without completely tipping over.
As Curt cheered his approval, Blue stood up and grinned…only to trip over her own two feet.
To her credit, she didn’t cry after falling down but got right up and kept going into her next tumbling routine.
“Did you see that?” Curt turned to ask Jessica, who’d come to join him. “She didn’t quit, but kept on going.”
