Jack walked over and squatted on his heels just outside the open door where I was sitting.
“You’re late, Jack.” I said.
“Well, we had to stay out of sight until all the players showed up.”
“How is she?”
“Do you mean your little friend from Mossad?”
“Tell me.”
Just then, Anke, David, and Ben were brought out under heavy guard and immediately likewise stuffed individually into the back of three waiting black SUVs. Their grill lights flashing, the SUVs pulled away.
Jack caught my eye.
“Don’t know about the woman. She’s in pretty bad shape. Whatever happens, I’ll make her disappear as if she’d never existed. We’ve also got a wounded terrorist. If he lives, I’ll have some fun with him. I have questions, and he will answer them.”
“What about the other Mossad agents?”
“They’ll be the subjects of a rendition. In about fifteen minutes, the three of them will be on a chopper headed for Dallas. From there an unmarked airplane will take them to one of our famous ‘undisclosed locations’. We’ll interrogate them and learn what we can. After that, they’ll disappear, just like your lady friend. As I said, if she lives.”
“They shut these guys down, Jack. They did your job for you. They deserve better treatment from our government.”
“I’ll decide what they deserve. If Israel wants any of them back, we might make some kind of deal. Now let’s talk about you and your other lady friend here. Christine Valakova, Isn’t it?”
Christine had composed herself and was now glaring at Jack. He ignored her and turned his attention back to me.
“Here’s the thing. I have a file on you, my friend. It goes way back, like a hundred years back. This file hasn’t been seen by very many people. I’ll bet you’d like to keep it that way.”
“What’s your point?”
“I need you and Ms. Valakova to pretend none of this ever happened.”
“Fine, not a problem.”
“No, it’s not as easy as all that. I know you, John. You’re slippery. Let’s be clear. I just made four Mossad agents disappear. I can do the same to you, your partner here, and her boyfriend—the cop. I’ll make you all disappear. Got it? I know some folks who would love to get their hands on you, John. There are people in our government who believe you Shepherds really are ambassadors of heaven. We’ve been watching you for a long time. Certain people I know would like to take you apart so they can see what makes you tick. They think whatever strange genetic mutation you Shepherds have, could be the key to eternal life.”
I could feel Christine trembling beside me.
“Now, John, I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s up to you. If you piss me off, our records indicating you were actually born some time prior to 1911 under a different name could fall into the wrong hands. FBI Special Agent Doug Booker has taken a keen interest in you. He has some very powerful friends in Washington. I’d hate to see what might happen if he gained access to your file. Those people would like to know why you’ve been alive for so long with only minimal signs of aging. They’d want to ask you some questions related to certain events in world history. Then, they’ll conduct a series of extensive and painfully invasive medical tests and experiments, followed by a meticulously thorough autopsy.”
He paused to let me consider the implications of his threat. Then he shrugged.
“However, if you and I are still friends, I can keep those records sealed.”
“That’s cold, Jack. What did I ever do to you?”
He touched his jaw where I’d hit him.
“You’ve made me uncomfortable. All that media attention to the, uh,,, shall we say— irregular FBI raid on a certain farmhouse, caused me a great deal of grief. I’m willing to forget you did that to me. I think the whole thing should just be forgotten. Don’t you?”
“Forgotten, or forgiven?”
“Whatever, just so long as you keep your mouth shut. Can you do that?”
I hesitated. I wanted to make Jack sweat a little.
He pursed his lips.
“There’s also the issue of your involvement in this matter. I can’t have you talking about any of this, either.” He made a vague but all-encompassing gesture with his hand. He looked me in the eye. “So, what’s it gonna be?”
“OK, Jack. I promise you, neither myself, Christine, or Tony will say anything further about the FBI raid, or what happened here today. We’ll act as though we have no knowledge of anything. Is that what you want?”
“I want you to swear to God.”
I sighed in resignation.
“As God is my witness, I solemnly swear not to reveal any knowledge of any of the things we’ve just discussed, to anyone. I include Christine and Tony in this statement.”
“There you go, buddy! That’s what I’m talking about. I know you. You always adhere to any oath you swear. So help you, God.”
Jack turned to the nearest agent.
“Take these two to their office, and turn them loose. They’re free to go. Then come straight back here.”
“Yes sir.” The agent said.
Jacked looked back at me and Christine
“Well, old buddy, I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of each other for a while. You folks have a nice day.”
He turned and headed back toward the building.
As we were riding in the back of the big, black SUV with government plates, Christine turned to me and asked a question.
“What did you mean when you told that guy, he was late?”
I was stunned. After all she’d just been through and what she’d heard listening to the conversation with Jack. That was her question?
“His name is Jack McCarthy. He’s a high ranking official with the Department of Homeland Security. I’ve known him a long time. He was assigned here to stop the local jihadists. I asked him to check out Hafsah and her story. From then on, I knew he would have us all under surveillance. He hacked our system and was privy to everything we said in our office, when we were all watching the news, planning the ambush, all of it. The whole time, I was feeding him things I wanted him to know. I knew he couldn’t pass up any opportunity to stop the jihadists, or leave it entirely in our hands. He couldn’t afford to take any chances. I was hoping he and his people would handle the whole thing. I thought they might jump Baha before he ever got to the studio. It didn’t go down that way and now…Hafsah…”
I choked. I couldn’t say any more.
When we arrived at the high rise building which housed our office, the DHS agents cut the cable ties and turned us loose in the parking lot. Rubbing our wrists, we watched them drive away.
“Now what do we do?” Christine asked.
“Let’s go up to the office. If you want to go home, I’ll call a cab. Once the hubbub dies down, we can probably pick up our vehicles at the studio, maybe later today. I imagine you’ll want to call Tony. I don’t know what will become of your purse and your cell phone or any of our personal effects we may have left in the studio. From now on, we can’t talk about any of this. Someone will always be listening.”
“John, are you alright? What’s going to happen to Hafsah and the others?”
“No, Christine, I’m not alright. You heard what Jack said. The Mossad team will disappear. We’ll never see any of them again. I’ll never even know if Hafsah is alive or dead.”
48
On the elevator ride up to the third floor of our building, I looked over at Christine and said, “You’ve never asked any questions about the things Jack mentioned when he was threatening to expose me. Did you understand what he was saying?”
Christine looked back at me, and in her eyes I saw that confident look I’d seen before.
“Of course, I understood what he was saying. I’ve always known you were different. You told me yourself, John. You’re an ambassador of heaven.”
“Do you understand what that means?”
> Christine was thoughtful for a few heartbeats.
“It means you are a servant of the King. It means you have a mission here in this place, as a representative of the Kingdom of God. I don’t understand everything about it, but I know it’s true.”
I nodded.
“Every child of the King has a responsibility to serve as an ambassador. We Shepherds are strangers in this place. This world is not our home. One day, I will get to go home, but until that day I must serve. The sheep need Shepherds.”
The elevator doors opened onto our floor. We walked down the hall to the offices of Tucker Investigations. I typed in the access code to key the lock, letting us into the reception area. Intending to leave Christine at her desk, I was heading for my office. She stopped me with a statement.
“John, I have so many questions I don’t even know where to begin.”
Turning to look at her, I saw that although it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet, she was nearly overwhelmed by the events of the morning. I’d been so self-absorbed, I hadn’t even noticed. Her makeup was smeared, her hair in disarray and she’d the shell-shocked look of someone who had just survived a gun fight. I realized she needed some comfort and reassurance.
“I’ll tell you what I can, but don’t you want to call Tony?”
“I can’t, I mean… What do I tell him? He’s up to his neck in alligators with the massacre at the mall. He was still on the scene when he called me about twelve hours ago. He only had a minute to tell me he was OK. We haven’t spoken since. I tried to call him first thing this morning, but it went straight to voice mail. I can’t tell him anything about …”
Tears began spilling down her face again.
I opened my arms and she nearly fell into my embrace.
I held her.
For a moment, she cried quietly against my shoulder. Then, composing herself, she took a step back.
“OK. I’m going to the ladies’ room. When I get back, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.” She tried to wink at me, but it lacked the spark of wit she intended.
While she was gone, I checked the phone messages. There was nothing out of the ordinary, business as usual. I knew going forward “as usual” was never going to be the same.
When Christine returned, she was fully put together. Other than the vague hints of strain around her eyes with their newly applied makeup, and a tension in her voice, she appeared fresh and ready to meet the demands of the day.
The two of us found seats in my office.
“Tell me what happens next,” she said.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well, if you’re an ambassador of heaven, you must know what God is doing. You must know everything, about everything, right?”
I looked away, shaking my head.
“I wish it worked that way. I’m only a Shepherd. Our mission is to seek the lost, stand against the darkness and protect those entrusted to us. In the process we have some influence on the course of human events, but we have little knowledge of how our actions will do that, until after the fact. My knowledge of the future is limited to what I learn as I go along. For much of my guidance I read the scriptures and pray—same as you.”
“I don’t get it. You act like an ordinary human? What does it mean to be a Shepherd?”
I looked in her eyes.
“I came to this planet in the same way you did, a child of human parents. I’m as human as you are.”
“OK, so what’s different about being a Shepherd?”
I shrugged.
“I was living the only life I knew. One day I realized how empty and shallow it was. I was given a glimpse of eternity. It was like a vision. I saw myself from the vantage point of God. It knocked me to my knees. I saw my sin and selfishness. Right then and there, I confessed my sin and repented. I asked God to forgive me and cleanse me. He did. In the process, I was changed. I told Him I wanted to give Him my life. I felt a gentle tug, an invitation, and as I accepted it, He showed me what He would have me do. He showed me my heavenly home, the time line of eternity, and the plan from the beginning. I saw the patriarchs of old, and met the first Shepherd, the Great Shepherd, His own son, who asked me to serve in this place. He showed me what it would cost me, and how I would be equipped for service. I accepted the call.”
“If God is omnipresent and omnipotent as I believe He is, why does He need servants? I mean, He could make everyone and everything become exactly the way He wants.”
“He doesn’t need anything, but His ways are not our ways, Christine. Sure, He could make us all behave like perfect puppets. We could have a perfect world. When I had that vision, I had a limited sense of His incredible Majesty. It was so overwhelming, words cannot express it. I saw as though through a filtered lens, a glimpse of His intent. All of creation, everything we can observe about Cosmos, Chronos, even Kairos, are but an infinitesimally small fraction of His works. What we call the universe is limited in our understanding, and it’s only a dust particle in a distant corner of His creation. He has set in motion and given structure to the tiniest individual thing, and the most complex and immense systems. There are dimensions and aspects of His creation we can’t see or even begin to imagine. As a part of all of that, He made us. In all of creation we were the only thing He made in His image. We’re the only living thing, with the capacity to be a little bit like Him. One of the aspects of being a little like Him means being able to imagine, create, and choose.”
“As wonderful as all that sounds, it doesn’t answer my question.” Christine said.
“He made us and He loves us. Our relationship with Him is different from that of any other created being. Like the angels, we can choose to honor him and be obedient, or not. He made us as spiritual beings in temporary physical bodies, living on a planet with a limited shelf life. If we choose to, we can live with Him in paradise forever. If we choose not to, we will live separate from Him forever, in continual torment.
Seeing this, the angel Lucifer determined to thwart the desire of God and set himself in the place of God. It was Lucifer’s plan to make humans subservient to him that caused sin and death to enter creation. Once humans chose to listen to the devil and stopped believing what God had told them, they and all of creation were doomed under the law of sin and death. Everything is created by God, even sin and death. Just as there are laws governing physics and mathematics, there are laws governing life and death, good and evil, and what we call infinity and eternity. He made those as well. God has always known what would happen, because he created all things and knows everything about his created things. He knew about the fall and the consequences. He’d already prepared a way for the lost, to be redeemed. This is something even the angels don’t understand.”
“What does any of that have to do with Shepherds?”
“The devil has legions of fallen angels tasked to mislead, corrupt, and ultimately destroy the sheep. God chose certain people to become Shepherds among the sheep, so there would always be someone who stood against the darkness and protected those sheep destined to come back to the Creator. We help maintain the order of events. He could have done it some other way, but this is the way He chose. He placed Shepherds to guard His sheep.”
Christine nodded, and flashed a smile.
“His sheep am I” she said.
“I know.”
“You said something before about the cost of being a Shepherd. What’s that about?”
“Shepherds are blessed with long lives compared to other people. I only age about one year for every ten years you do. Consequently, I’ve watched generations of people die. If I were to marry and have a family, I would watch all of them grow old and die, while I barley aged at all. Everyone—everyone, I’ve ever loved or ever will, all my friends and family, have been or will be taken from me by death. The life of a Shepherd is one of continual loss.
She thought about that for a moment.
“What would that mean for you and Hafsah?”
I rubbed my face
with my hands.
“I don’t know. I’ve been struggling with that. Maybe God took her from me, to spare me the agony of outliving her. Maybe I made a mistake getting involved with her in the first place. I thought maybe God was giving me some sort of gift, but… Christine…I just don’t know.”
49
When I walked out of the building, I was surprised to see my homeless friend Dustin, leaning on his shopping cart, just outside the entrance. He grinned when he saw me.
“Hello, Good Angel. How you be?” He said.
“It’s been a terrible morning, Dustin. I don’t feel like talking right now.”
“Yo heart is heavy. Um hum. You feelin’ let down.”
“Something like that. Say, aren’t you sort of far from your usual stomping grounds?”
He pointed at me.
“Not far. ‘Sides, this where you at.”
“Me. Were you looking for me? How did you know where to find me?”
Dustin smiled and pointed at the sky. “A little birdie told me.”
“OK. What can I do for you?”
“I aint here for that.”
Sometimes Dustin’s ramblings annoy me. He seldom gets straight to the point.
“OK. What’s up?”
“Right, right. He’s restorin’ yo sight. Yo eyes been in darkness. Do you see the light?”
This was the last thing I needed right then, more of his enigmatic messages. I gritted my teeth and tried to be polite.
“Dustin, I’m in no mood for this. I’ve got a rental car coming.”
“Uh uh. What’s comin’ ain’t no rental. Aint the car yo expectin’, neither.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Abide. You got’s to abide. Don’t you be runnin’, don’t step aside.”
I took a deep breath. I nearly sobbed in the process.
“That’s right, Good Angel. Let it go, all that resentment, poisonin’ yo soul.”
I was speechless. How did he know?
The Ticking Clock Page 19
