You can speak, but know your place. Look to Barbie for a role model. Be quiet, be perfect, be pink, and if you stray outside the lines—
Stray outside the lines.
Be cheeky. Be bold.
They will say all manner of nasty things to you. About you. These aren’t truths. Your friends will support you, and you will make new friends who share your sentiments. It’s possible some will believe your criticism means their own years of hard work are worthless. This is another thing we are taught: that if X is true, so must Y be. This is not a truth. Your work is not without worth.
This is the future. This is the place we dreamed of. This is the place where everyone is supposed to be equal, no matter color, gender, age. This is the place our fictional words created—it is not by mistake, or random.
Science fiction tells us we can be equal, that we are equal—so don’t you dare stay inside the lines. Stray, because sitting where you are told gets you nowhere. Science fiction taught you about the stars, science fiction told you there are better places. You aren’t going to reach them without being cheeky.
E. Catherine Tobler lives and writes in Colorado—strange how that works out. Her Rings of Anubis series is available from Masque Books. Among others, her short fiction has appeared in Daily Science Fiction, Fantasy Magazine, Realms of Fantasy, Clarkesworld, and Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet. She is a Sturgeon Award finalist and the senior editor at Shimmer Magazine.
My Love Can Destroy
Seanan McGuire
I didn’t choose the science fiction life. I want to make that very clear. By first grade I knew that there were “girl things” and “boy things,” and that if you wanted to be the kind of girl who had friends and got invited to sleepovers and didn’t sit alone in the weird kid corner of the classroom, you would like the things that were intended for you. I yearned for the world of the cool kids, the ones who floated in a cloud of crinoline and hair bows, who spoke authoritatively of Barbies and ponies and other acceptable hobbies. It wasn’t that I didn’t love those things—I did, and I still do, as my vast collection of creepy dolls and My Little Ponies will demonstrate—it was that I loved other things, too. Things that had a nasty tendency to come spilling out of my mouth every time I opened it.
Things like “I spent the weekend watching Doctor Who on channel 54,” and “I want to go to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters next year,” and “if unicorns are real, do you think they’d let us ride them?” The unicorn questions were less immediately isolating within my peer group, but as for the rest …
This isn’t a long-winded way of saying “I wasn’t like those other girls,” because I was really just like those other girls. We all loved weird and wonderful things, and I know I wasn’t the only female science fiction fan in my elementary school. I was just the only one with the runaway mouth, the one who couldn’t learn that what I loved was aberrant and wrong.
One by one, I watched the other girls drop away and hide our shared interests, not because they didn’t care about the voyages of the Starship Enterprise anymore, but because they couldn’t stand the teasing. It came from the boys first, accusing us of being dumb, having cooties, and destroying the very things we purported to love. Then, it came from within, as the girls who had already learned to conceal their stripes whipped around and attacked the rest of us. They were good girls, who liked girl things, and the best way to show that was to shame the bad girls who liked boy things. We needed to be put in our place. So “we” dwindled, and dwindled, until it was just me, and I thought I would be alone forever.
Because see, that’s the thing about being a woman in science fiction: We start getting told “you are destroying the thing you love” really, really early. It’s in the marketing and the media. It’s in the messages that are passed to our schoolmates, and hence the messages that are passed to us. It’s in the social norms that everyone wants to enforce. Boys get giant robots, girls get fashion dolls. “Both” is never an option.
I didn’t choose the science fiction life. The science fiction life chose me. If I had been able, as a child, to control what I loved, I would have chosen to love something that didn’t come with the specter of “your love will be the end of everything.” I would have chosen love without rejection, love without cooties, love that was viewed as gender normative, because I was living inside of a false binary. We create it, and then we enforce it, and we don’t understand why everyone is unhappy all the time.
I’m down with the idea that my love is destroying science fiction. We can build it up again, and this time, it can have room for everybody.
Even me.
Seanan McGuire was born and raised in Northern California, resulting in a love of rattlesnakes and an absolute terror of weather. She shares a crumbling old farmhouse with a variety of cats, far too many books, and enough horror movies to be considered a problem. Seanan publishes about three books a year, and is widely rumored not to actually sleep. When bored, Seanan tends to wander into swamps and cornfields, which has not yet managed to get her killed (although not for lack of trying). She also writes as Mira Grant, filling the role of her own evil twin, and tends to talk about horrible diseases at the dinner table.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Kickstarter Backers
We could not have put this issue together without the help and support of our wonderful Kickstarter backers—all 2801 of them!
One of the secondary Kickstarter rewards allowed backers to add their name to a list of donors that would appear in the published issue. About half of our backers chose this reward. We’re excited to recognize them on the list below. (Note: Because some people did not include a last name, or included a business name, or Twitter handle, we have this sorted by first name.)
A. Kwong; A.C. Wise; A.E. Fisher; A.K. Harrison; A.T. Greenblatt; Aaron Canton; Aaron Zimmerman; Abigail Fine; Adam B. Levine; Adam Maloney; Adam Powell; Adela Torres; Adrien Robertson; Adrienne Martini; Ahmed Tedjini; Aidan Doyle; Aimee Picchi; A.J. Reardon; Aja Romano; Alan DeHaan; Alana Joli Abbott; Alasdair Semple; Alec Austin; Alex Bacon; Alex Barsk; Alex Brett; Alex Conall; Alex Fitzpatrick; Alex Hardison; Alex Melchor; Alex Schlow; Alex von der Linden; Alexander F. Burns; Alexandria Gray; Ali Hawke; Alice Bentley; Alice T.; Alison L. Doyle; Alison M. Brown; Alison Wilgus; Alistair McLean; Allen Nussbaumer; Alli Martin; Alliah; Allie Jones; Alma Vilić; Alumiere; Alyc Helms; Amanda Cales; Amanda Cobb; Amanda Dier; Amanda Helms; Amanda J. Moffett; Amanda Kelly; Amanda Miller; Amber Teasdale; Amy Browning; Amy C. Fredericks; Amy E. Goldman; Amy McLane; Amy McNally; An Owomoyela; Andi Ferguson; Andi Newton; Andre & Laura Kostur; André Nóbrega; Andrea Corbin; Andrea Cox; Andrea Fry; Andrea Gatley; Andreas Flögel; Andreas Skyman; Andres Rosado Sepulveda; Andrew Armstrong; Andrew Barton; Andrew Giffin; Andrew Liptak; Andrew Penn Romine; Andrija Popovic; Andy Barbieri; Andy Bartalone; Andy Dost; Andy Knox; Andy Konecny; Andy Mammel; Anelie Crighton; Ángel Lozano; Angela Auer; Angela Korra’ti; Angie Flunker; Aniko Hazi; Anke Wehner; Ann Chatham; Ann Voelkel; Anna Andersen; Anna McDuff; Annabeth Leong; Anne Charnock; Anne M. Marble; Anne Petersen; Antha Ann Adkins; Anthony C. Lanni; Anthony R. Cardno; Anton Prosser; Apis Teicher; Aramada; Aria Stewart; Ariana Harradine; Ariel Marcy; Ariel Segall; Arkady Martine; Arlene Medder; Arun Srinivasan; Asa Maria Bradley; Ashley Chatneuff; Asia al-Massari; Astra Plumarum; Aubrey Kinlan; Aubrey Westbourne; Ayla Khan; B. Pearsall; B. Sonerud; B. Symons; Bailey S.R.; Barbara Barbex; Barbara E. Klein; Bárbara Morais; Barbara Shepard; Barbie Jones; Barney Walsh; Bartek Łopatka; Bear & Angela Philley; Beatrice McKeown; Becca Shea; Becky Bergmann; Bekki Callaway; Ben Babcock; Ben Cartwright; Benet Devereux; Benjamin Blattberg; Benjamin Dean; Benjamin Juang; Benjamin Luke Vreugdenburg; Bernard Chen; Beth Avila; Beth C.; Beth Johnson; Betsy Streeter; Beverly Bambury; Bill & Laura Pearson; Bill Carter; Bill Ruhsam; Bill Shirley; Bill Simoni; Bill Williams; Blair A. Nicholson; Bob Hanks; Bobby Harrell; Boman Hwang; Brandon High; Brandon Paul Salinas; Brenda Cooper; Brenda Noiseux; Brendan Hutt; Brendan N. Moody; Brian Carpenter; Brian Far
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Lightspeed Magazine Issue 49 Page 56
