“It won’t be funny if she runs afoul of Gibson and gets arrested.”
In an instant, Chief Terry sobered. “You’re right. That won’t be funny. Bay, you’d better watch yourself.”
Even though I’d felt exhausted only minutes before, I brightened considerably. Things were looking up. Eventually, Landon would have no choice but to crack and tell me what was going on because he wouldn’t be able to take my secrecy. All I had to do was wait him out.
“You don’t have to worry about me.” I smiled and waved at the waitress so she knew I was ready to place my order. “I have everything under control. Trust me.”
“Ugh. This is going to suck,” Landon muttered. “You’re already channeling Aunt Tillie.”
“Yes, well, you said it yourself. Sometimes she’s helpful in situations like this.”
“I hate being right.”
I patted his leg under the table. “You’ll live. However, if you can’t tell me about your day — and vice versa — we have absolutely nothing to discuss. We’ll have to cover alternative subjects.”
Landon cocked an eyebrow. “Alternative subjects?”
“Yes. For example, how do you feel about the latest global warming reports?”
Landon’s mouth dropped open. “Are you trying to torture me?”
That was only a side benefit. He simply didn’t realize it yet.
Alien Inspiration
Live long and prosper. Wait, that’s not what I want. Live long and shut your hole. Yup, that’s better.
Thistle designing her own form of the Vulcan blessing
Six
It is everything you dream of. It is nothing you can curse.
Lunch turned out to be more fun than I’d envisioned. Chief Terry noticed the dirt on my shoes as we were leaving the diner, which caused Landon to bend down and study them. He was an investigator, after all. He couldn’t take not knowing all the facts.
I was appropriately evasive when answering, explaining that I loved spring because it meant I could finally enjoy the great outdoors. I left Landon with a kiss and a smile before heading to Hypnotic. I made a big show of stopping in the doorway to wave before entering.
Thistle and Clove looked up from their sandwiches, amusement lighting their features as I threw myself on the couch next to Thistle.
“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Thistle commented. “How did your trip to ground zero go?”
My smile slipped a bit as I remembered my trip to Potter’s Field. “Not great. I couldn’t get close.” I explained what I’d seen, leaving nothing out, and finished with a retelling of my lunch with Landon and Chief Terry. “Landon isn’t having as much fun as he was yesterday when keeping me in the dark. He doesn’t like the tables being turned.”
“I don’t blame him,” Clove said. “You’re approaching it in a smart way. He’ll probably crumble and tell you something before all is said and done.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for.”
“What about the guy you saw carried away?” Thistle asked. “You said it sounded as though he had burned hands. How does that happen in the middle of a field?”
“I have no idea.” I was completely sober now. “It was creepy. They were all wearing those spaceship-suits you see in movies. I swear I saw at least eight episodes of The X-Files where people were wearing those suits, and none of them ended well.”
“Oh, well, if you saw it on The X-Files, it must be true,” Thistle shook her head. “Seriously, that doesn’t sound normal.”
“No, and I smelled something out there. I’m not sure what it was — it’s hard to describe, kind of like ammonia only stronger, and mixed with some witch hazel to really make your eyes water. It was definitely more than smoke.”
“It sounds like you had an easy time walking across Hollow Creek to approach,” Thistle noted. “That’s good to know in case you want to go back.”
“Yeah, definitely. What about Mrs. Little, Clove? Did you call Nora?”
Clove nodded as she swallowed. “I did. I explained everything you told me. Nora said it was probably nothing — Mrs. Little does hate you and would take great joy in unnerving you — but she promised to check on her.”
“At least that’s something.” I leaned back on the couch and rested my hands on my thighs. “Chief Terry said he would check on her, too. Landon didn’t seem to care that she was acting odd, but he had other things on his mind.”
“Do you think he knows that you went back to the scene?” Clove asked. “He can’t be happy if he suspects that.”
“He knows me well enough to know that I have no choice but to check out the field. He’s not happy, but we’re in a position we’ve never been in before. Usually, he’s the one in charge of information. It’s probably not standard operating procedure for him to share with me the way he does, but that’s his decision. Now the decision has been taken out of his hands.”
“You’re being awfully mature about this,” Thistle said. “If I were in your position, I’d probably be pouting and stomping around until I got my way. Why aren’t you?”
I shrugged. “It’s not his fault. He has a job to do, rules to follow. I would never forgive myself if he lost his job because of me. He’s been in trouble a time or two because I can’t stay out of things. He’s not in control this go-around, and I think that bothers him on a level he’s not willing to admit. If I push him, I’ll make things worse.”
Thistle’s expression was dubious. “Like I said, you’re suddenly mature. I’m not a fan of the change.”
I laughed as the wind chimes over the door jangled to signify someone’s entrance. If it were a customer, I’d gladly volunteer my services to help so Clove and Thistle could finish their lunch. We were between tourist arrivals, though, so if it was a customer it would be a straggler. Instead of a strange face, I found Aunt Tillie staring at us with incredulity.
“What are you three lazybones doing here?” She strode toward the comfortable living room setup at the center of the store. “Why aren’t you out gathering information?”
Thistle bit into her sandwich instead of answering. Clove merely pretended she didn’t hear the question. That left me to do the heavy lifting.
“What information are we supposed to be gathering?” I asked, legitimately curious. “Has something happened we’re not aware of?”
“Um ... yes.”
I waited for her to expound. I wasn’t disappointed.
“Hemlock Cove is being taken over by alien invaders,” she barked. “Don’t you understand? We’re under attack.”
“Oh, well, that’s terrible,” Thistle drawled. “Are they the warm and fuzzy types from E.T. or the rip-your-face-off types from Alien? We need to know if we need flamethrowers or Reese’s Pieces.”
“Your wit astounds me,” Aunt Tillie deadpanned, her face flushed with color. “Have I ever told you how much I appreciate your mind?”
“As a matter of fact, you haven’t.”
“There’s a reason for that,” she barked. “Your mind is often empty ... and always a dangerous place to visit.”
“And you are a true joy,” Thistle shot back. “How many other people can claim great-aunts who warn about the impending alien invasion? You’re a special, special woman.” She turned to me, deadpan. “We should call the men with the white coats. She’s clearly fried her circuits.”
I shot Thistle a quelling look before focusing on Aunt Tillie. “It’s not a spaceship.”
“It is.”
“It’s not.” I was firm as I shook my head. “It’s a drone. I’m convinced of that. I think they were practicing some maneuvers and accidentally crashed. They’ve got people out in that field searching for stuff. I’m guessing they removed the big wreckage last night when we were sleeping. It was a mistake not to go back then, but it’s too late to fix that.”
Aunt Tillie was officially intrigued as she shuffled over to sit in the empty chair on the other side of the coffee table. “How do you know they’re out t
here searching?”
“I checked on the site this morning.”
“But how did you get out there? I tried to visit, too, but they’ve got the road cut off with a vehicle. They also have people roaming in the woods. It’s not impossible to get past them, but it’s not easy. They’re all talking on headsets and checking in with one another every few minutes, so you can’t take one out without risking the others coming to look for you.”
I was flabbergasted. “I see you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
Aunt Tillie simply shrugged. “I wasn’t going to kill anybody, so don’t worry about that. I was simply going to knock them out. I had potions in my pocket, and I ordered nunchucks from Amazon and was hoping to get a chance to use them.”
Thistle choked on her sandwich she laughed so hard. “Nunchucks? You can buy nunchucks on Amazon?”
“You can buy anything on Amazon.”
“Good to know.” Thistle widened her eyes as she snagged my gaze. “Definitely call the men with the straitjackets. It’s time Aunt Tillie went bye-bye.”
I ignored her tone and instead focused on eliciting information from Aunt Tillie. “How close did you get?”
“Not close enough to see the field. It sounds like you had better luck. They have a lot of special agent dudes running around the woods. That proves they’re looking for aliens.”
“How do you figure that?” Clove asked, balling up her sandwich wrapping and placing it on the table. “They could be looking for pieces of a drone like Bay says. I mean, if it’s an experimental aircraft, they won’t want anyone getting their hands on the technology. That makes more sense than aliens, doesn’t it?”
Aunt Tillie never met a rational argument she didn’t want to immediately dismiss. “No. You’re falling for ‘The Man’s’ line. I always taught you not to fall for that. Have my efforts been in vain?”
“Calm down, Esmerelda,” I soothed, shaking my head. “There’s no reason to get dramatic.”
“I’m not being dramatic. I’m being smart.” Aunt Tillie tapped her temple for emphasis. “My brain is the same size as yours, but it’s enhanced so I understand things better.”
“Did the aliens do that?” Thistle asked dryly. “Did they kidnap you, transfer you to their ship and enhance your brain? That seems like a weird way to prove their superior capabilities.”
“Oh, ye of little faith.” Aunt Tillie rolled her eyes so hard I was surprised she didn’t fall off the chair. “I would be exactly the sort of person to entice aliens to visit.”
I couldn’t wait to hear this. “Why is that?”
Thistle made an exaggerated face. “Why did you ask her that? We don’t need to hear the answer. It’s going to be stupid.”
Aunt Tillie ignored Thistle’s outburst. “The reason aliens would be attracted to me is because I live in the middle of nowhere and I stand out in a crowd of idiots and non-believers. I’m the perfect specimen.”
“What does living in the middle of nowhere have to do with anything?” Clove queried. “Wouldn’t it be easier to find specimens in urban areas? The population is denser there.”
“There might be more people, but there’s no place to land a spaceship in a city,” Aunt Tillie replied knowingly. “You need a field to land a spaceship.”
“Good to know in case we ever need to send you back to your home planet,” Thistle drawled.
This time Aunt Tillie couldn’t push forward without acknowledging Thistle’s attitude. “You’re on my list.”
Thistle shrugged. “What else is new?”
“If it weren’t for the government agents out to cover up what could be the biggest story ever, you would be at the top of my list,” Aunt Tillie grumbled. “As it stands, you’re relatively safe because there are bigger douches out there to worry about at the present time.”
“Well, I’m so glad not to be the head douche.” Thistle beamed and puffed out her chest. “I think I might get a T-shirt made up that says ‘Middling Douche’ and wear it with pride.”
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “I think you should definitely get the shirt.”
“And I think you guys are being purposely obtuse,” Aunt Tillie challenged, fire in her eyes. “Think about it. Why would the government be trying to cover up a crash in a field if aliens weren’t involved?”
“I already told you that I think it’s a drone and they don’t want anyone seeing the technology,” I answered calmly. “Maybe there was something else on the drone. I mean ... that smell had to come from somewhere. I think it’s far more likely they had a biological agent on the drone and they don’t want anyone finding out because residents will make a big stink about it.”
“What kind of biological agent?” Clove asked, serious. “You said the guy had burns on his hands. What if it’s something that could kill us?”
That hadn’t occurred to me, but it should have. “I don’t know. If it’s something dangerous, Landon and Chief Terry wouldn’t keep it a secret. Even though they’re good at their jobs and don’t want to leave them, they wouldn’t put the populace at risk. They’re good men.”
“I agree with Bay there, but what if Landon and Chief Terry don’t know the whole truth?” Thistle countered. “Landon is used to being in charge. His nose is out of joint because he has zero control. That Agent Gibson guy was a real turd. What if he wanted us out of there so we didn’t get contaminated and he simply didn’t tell Landon and Chief Terry his real concern? I can see him doing that.”
Sadly, so could I. “So, what do you think they’re doing in the field? Do you think they’re searching for chemicals?”
“I have no idea. This is out of my area of expertise.”
“That’s why you have me,” Aunt Tillie interjected. “I know exactly what they’re looking for.”
“If you say aliens, I’m going to tell our mothers and you’ll finally be locked up in a home where you belong,” Thistle warned.
“Hey, you don’t know it’s not aliens.” Aunt Tillie refused to back down. It was hardly a new occurrence. That’s how she rolled. “It’s just as likely to be aliens as it is to be a drone.”
“I think I’m going to have to side with Bay on this one,” Clove hedged. “I don’t think it’s aliens.”
“You just don’t want it to be aliens,” Aunt Tillie grumbled. “You’re still traumatized from the time I showed you Predator. You were supposed to learn survival skills from that movie. Instead, you cried for three days straight.”
Clove’s eyebrows flew up her forehead. “There were skinned bodies in that movie! Oh, and exploded heads ... and hearts being ripped out ... and skulls being ripped out ... and arms being cut off ... and a bunch of other gross stuff.”
“Pfft.” Aunt Tillie was hearing none of it. “That movie is a classic. It’s also based on a real-life event that the government doesn’t want us to know about. There are files and everything, but the government hides them.”
“This is really going too far,” Thistle mumbled. “I mean ... come on.”
As if on cue — perhaps the universe understood Thistle needed a break from Aunt Tillie’s theories — the store door opened again. This time the person who entered gave me a hard jolt. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen this face in Hypnotic.
“Mrs. Little?” Clove’s forehead puckered as she slowly stood. “I ... do you need something?”
Thistle was less excited about the visit. “If you’re here to complain because we didn’t scrub the sides of the dumpster in the alley with Clorox again, then you can turn right around and walk out. We’re not doing that. It smells like that because that’s where the trash lives until the trucks show up to cart it away. The tourists don’t go into the alley anyway.”
Mrs. Little either didn’t understand or didn’t hear. Instead of reacting as she normally would — with a scowl and glare — she smiled as her gaze bounced between faces. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”
“What’s going on?” Thistle
was instantly on guard as she straightened and glanced around the store. “Are we on a hidden camera show? If so, I’m going to start throwing punches. You know how I feel about reality television.”
Mrs. Little let loose a low chuckle. “Oh, Thistle. You’re always so funny. You have a delightful sense of humor. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Not you.”
“Well, I’ve always thought it.” Mrs. Little smoothed her hands over her skirt as she focused on Aunt Tillie. “It’s so good to see you in town. You don’t stop by nearly enough. I miss seeing you. We should have tea in the bakery while you’re here. You know, catch up.”
Aunt Tillie’s mouth dropped open. “Did someone lace my doughnuts with acid this morning?”
“As much as I would like to call the men in white coats to collect you, I can’t on this one,” Thistle responded. “The old lady has gone batshit crazy. Er, even crazier than before. It was bound to happen but ... wow! It really came out of nowhere.”
“See?” Mrs. Little’s smile was so wide it threatened to swallow her entire face. She pointed at Thistle and giggled. “So funny. She could do a standup routine and pull in millions of dollars if she wanted.”
I was beyond baffled at the turn of the events. “Mrs. Little, are you feeling okay?”
“I’ve never felt better, dear. I feel like a woman of forty again. Of course, that’s only a few years younger than my actual age.”
Mrs. Little was in her eighties, like Aunt Tillie — they went to high school together. “Well ... .”
“I told you.” Aunt Tillie folded her arms across her chest and made a tsking sound with her tongue. “It’s aliens. It’s not the fun type either. This is exactly what I was afraid of.”
“You’ve lost me,” Thistle said. “What’s the fun type?”
“The ones who would’ve skinned her alive.”
“Fair enough.” Thistle nodded encouragingly. “Continue.”
“It’s as I feared,” Aunt Tillie’s tone turned grave, “it’s the sort of aliens who crawl into your ears and take over your personality.”
Close Encounters of the Witchy Kind (A Wicked Witches of the Midwest Fantasy Book 6) Page 6
