by Debra Kayn
Her head tilted, and her forehead wrinkled. "Tell me about her."
He stepped back, unprepared for her request. Barely a second went by without him thinking about his sister. Each time his thoughts went to the night of her murder, and it got harder to imagine the time before he'd gone to prison. All he could remember was finding out she was dead. His baby sister gone from life in the worst way possible.
"She..." He stared down at the floor. "She always hoped for the best in life and even when things were bad when we were growing up, she refused to let our situation drag her down. She used to crack jokes when she'd call me in prison. Stupid ones that weren't funny to anyone but her. Laughter was the way she coped with everything."
"Did she make you laugh?"
"Yeah." He lifted his gaze. The pain that lived inside of him magnified sharing his sister with Roni. "Did she make you laugh, too? She spent time with you, right?"
"She made things easier for me." Roni lifted her hand to her mouth, hesitated, and then touched his arm. "Even when she had nothing to say, she'd hold my hand. I gained strength from her. She was the strongest woman I'd ever met."
He lifted his hand to wipe the tear from the corner of her eye, and she jerked, ducking her face with a whimper before he could touch her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to the floor.
"Hey, hey..." He lowered his hand and bent his knees to angle his head in front of her, catching her gaze. "I wasn't going to hurt you."
"I know." Her tongue came out and moistened her lips. "I'm sorry."
"No." He showed her his palms, fingers spread and then slowly picked both of her hands up into his, turning her toward him. "I'm going to prove to you that you're safe with me."
She tugged against his hold. He remained firm, yet unthreatening, holding her hands. More skittish than he'd expected, he wanted to make her comfortable.
"Look on the back of the fingers of my left hand," he said, softening his voice.
Her chin dipped. He squeezed her fingers gently to take her sight off the Sparrow on his right hand.
"There's an F on the back of each finger," he said.
She ran her thumb over his knuckle. "Jackie had the four F's on her ankle."
"We got the tattoo together when she turned eighteen. It was my birthday present to her." He inhaled deeply, remembering how his sister squealed, cried, and squirmed in the chair when the needle from the tattoo machine pierced her skin. Every time he told her she could stop if she wanted, she mustered through the pain, determined to get matching tattoos.
The letters weren't his idea, and he took a lot of ribbing in prison for what people thought of them. But, Jacqueline was proud of her first and only tattoo. The fact that he got a matching one to hers and they'd be forever linked meant more to her than coming of age. She'd spent six months thinking of a symbol or saying that meant something to her and was proud of what she'd come up with for the both of them.
"What does it mean?" asked Roni.
He squeezed her hands and let go of her. "Family First, Family Forever."
Roni's brows rose, and she studied Dawson. He stayed in front of her, letting her work through her thoughts and come to her own conclusion about him. At least she wasn't trying to get away from him.
"I never knew about you." Roni walked around him and sat on the edge of the bed. "I was with Vince for three years. Jackie came a year after I started living with him. She never mentioned having a family."
He sat down beside her, prepared to stand if she moved away. When she looked at him and remained on the bed, he said, "She never told me she went to live with Vince. When I was arrested..."
She shook her head. "You don't have to explain. I know you're her brother."
"You believe me now?"
"You have the same eyes." She picked at her thumb.
She'd bitten the nails on all ten fingers down to the skin. He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. There were so many things he wanted to know. Answers to questions that plagued him. He had no idea what to ask or how far Roni would let him inside her head.
She was a beautiful woman. At first glance, you'd think she was a confident woman who held her shoulders straight and proud. It was only when he looked closer he learned she tried to make herself bigger, stronger, because inside she was shaking and afraid.
Her short hair gave her an edgy look, reminding him of those models he'd see on television that pushed other women and men alike to judge them. He gazed away from her to keep from staring. It was her dark blue eyes though that screamed for help, and she wasn't even aware of how much she showed him.
He wondered if every man who walked into her room expecting sex could see through her the way he could and if they could, why weren't they helping her?
"Do the police know who killed Jackie?" she whispered.
He shook his head.
"I can't believe she's gone." Roni sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want me talking about her."
"It's okay." He straightened and crossed his arms. "It's nice to have someone who knew her and well, was with her to the end. Though I wish neither one of you had ever belonged to Sparrows."
"You're a member," she said, reminding him.
He nodded. "I kept Jacqueline away from Vince and anyone associated with Sparrows before I was sent to prison. I didn't want her anywhere near them or involved in Sparrows business. Vince promised me he'd send her a monthly allowance out of my money to keep her in the apartment we shared while I was imprisoned. That was the only way I could figure out how to take care of my sister because my earnings were tied up in Sparrows. I had no other choice or ways to help support her."
At the time, he'd done what he believed was right. His hands were tied inside the prison system. He needed someone to help her.
"Anyway, she'd call me weekly, and even came and visited me a couple of times a year, but she never mentioned being under Vince's control. I never would've wanted her near him," he said. "I thought I'd protected her."
Roni lifted her bare feet off the floor and sat cross-legged on the bed, leaned over, and propped her head in her hands, bracing her elbows on her legs. He rubbed his thumb over the sparrow head tattoo on his hand. The tattoo a constant reminder of where he came from and how he'd ended it all.
"Sparrows is no more. With Vince dead and the majority of the members arrested in the sting, there's nothing left." He let go of his hand
"That's good." Roni shifted her gaze to him, leaning on one hand. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
She raised her head. "Are you trying to convince me to go with you, so you can start your version of Sparrows and take up where Vince left off?"
"Fuck," he muttered, shaking his head. "Is that what you thought?"
She gave nothing away, only waited for him to give her a straight answer. Of course, she believed he was here to bring her back to Seattle and restart Sparrows. She knew nothing about him, and after what she'd gone through with Vince, it mattered little that Jacqueline was his sister and he honored his word.
"I'm not a member of Yesler Street Gang anymore. I have no desire or need to surround myself with others and join an organization. It's only me now. I'm walking away from everything because I owe my sister. I was too late to save her, and she'd asked for my help in getting you away from Vince before she died. I was caught up in trying to protect her and figure a way out for both of us, that I neglected her plea to save you. Then, everything went to hell and —"
"I understand." Roni's eyes saddened. "You owe me nothing. Jackie didn't either."
His chest tightened. Her attempt at making him feel better and that he wasn't to blame only packed a harder punch.
"I don't think you get what I've been telling you." He stood. "I need to do what I can to get you away from working as a sex worker. You deserve a better life than this. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for Jacqueline. Do it for your friend who never gave up on you."
"That's what you
're doing," she said, uncrossing her legs and putting her feet on the floor.
"Yes, you've got to want better things than letting others use you."
She stood and shrugged. "Okay."
"Okay?" Caught off guard, he wasn't sure what she agreed to.
"I'll leave the Network when my contract is up." She stepped closer and looked him in the eyes. "I promise."
"You're making the right decision, Roni." He inhaled deeply wanting to reach out and hold her. "Just tell me where you want to go, and I'll take you there. I can help you get on your feet. I've got money set aside, and you can either stay with me, or I can help you find an apartment."
She shook her head. "No, Dawson. You can leave Federal and go back home. You've done what you've come here to do, and you've kept your promise to Jackie. Thank you for telling me about Sparrows, Vince, and...your sister."
His jaw tightened in the realization of what she was doing. She had no plans to leave. She'd go to the next town, and then the next town staying in the employment of the Network.
A short knock and the door swung open. Jeremy stood in the entrance of the room and his gaze bounced between Dawson and Roni and finally settled on him. "Ready?"
Dawson looked at Roni. He wasn't going to let her get away with playing him over. She couldn’t even see what she was doing to herself.
"Yeah," he said, walking to the door without another word to Roni.
There was no way in hell he was going to let her continue working as a prostitute. He'd stay and show up every fucking day if he had to, and she'd be leaving with him when her contract with Red Light ended.
Chapter Eight
The music from Silver Girls drifted up to the roof. Roni stood, huddled in her heavy coat and boots Dawson gifted her. The weather changed two days ago to clear and cold, leaving a two-foot pristine blanket of snow on the roof of the Sterling Building, which the other ladies of Red Light took delight in.
While Seattle would get a dusting of snow once a year or so that caused havoc for those driving around the city, she'd had enough of cold weather living on the streets. There was nothing enjoyable about being frozen clear through to her bones.
She wiggled her fingers inside her gloves. Surprised the proper clothing kept her skin warm, she enjoyed the fresh air and being on the roof. Even at the shelters, she often lacked a jacket or got stuck with one a size too small or three times too big. The comfort her new clothes gave her at twenty-six years old made her feel like a young girl, much loved and wanted.
"Roni!" said Lynn.
She turned to her right and squeaked out in surprise when a snowball hit her chest. Caught off guard, she brushed the clinging snow off her coat. "I can't believe you did that."
Lynn laughed, gathering more snow and patting the make-shift ball tighter. Roni stepped closer to Ella to stay out of the line of fire.
"Let's get her." Ella stepped off the path where Jeremy had shoveled snow away from the door. "If we both gang up on her, she'll stop acting like a child, sneak her cigarette, and we can go back downstairs and watch the rest of the movie."
Lynn glanced up, raised her brows, and took the overheard challenge. Roni hurried over beside Ella and gathered a pile of snow and started forming balls.
"Shana, get over here. You're on my team." Lynn loaded the crook of her arm with snowballs.
Roni barely had her arsenal made when the first snowball flew and hit Ella. Lynn yelled out in victory. Roni threw, missed, and grabbed another one. Her second throw hit Shana in the shoulder. She jumped in victory, her boots never leaving the snow packed roof, and smiled.
Her success short lived, another snowball hit her on the side of the head and snow sprayed off and under her hood, melting on the side of her neck. She shivered, grabbing for Ella.
"I'm out." She laughed when a blast from a snowball hit Ella at the top of her coat.
Ella screamed in surprise.
"Sh." Roni laughed, tugging Ella back to the path. "Tiff will come up here and think we're causing trouble."
"Not Tiff." A male voice spoke behind her.
She whirled around and came face to face with Jeremy. "I-I'm sorry."
Jeremy held a snowball in his bare hand and cocked his brow. "I get one throw. You choose."
"Um." She glanced back and forth between Lynn and Jeremy, fighting a wild giggle. He probably wouldn't throw one and only wanted to tease her. Though Lynn deserved at least one hit for how many times her snowball connected with Roni.
"Lynn," she whispered.
Shana pushed Lynn away from her. "Oh, God, girl. Run. He's coming after you."
Lynn fell to her knees in the snow, threw her hands in the air. "I give. I give."
"No rules." Jeremy winked at Roni and whipped the ball through the air at his target with an easy form.
The snowball landed on Lynn's shoulder, sending her toppling over into the snow laughing and swearing to retaliate. Roni bit down on her lip to keep from laughing. The ease at which Jeremy joined the fun and participated on her behave warmed her.
"Tiff wants to see you downstairs," said Jeremy gathering more snow in his hand. "I'll hold these ladies off while you make your escape."
She sobered, nodded, and hurried to the door. Having come up on the roof after dinner, she was on her free time. Usually, Tiff left the ladies to entertain themselves unless the madam had a grievance toward her work. She couldn't imagine what she'd done. Her customers were happy, and she'd even made more tips today than the previous two weeks she'd worked at Red Light.
Inside the building, she stomped her boots to rid them of snow and pulled off her gloves. She found Tiff in the kitchen and knocked on the open doorway.
"You wanted to see me?" she asked.
Tiff shut the cabinet door and turned with a smile. "Are the other ladies still on the roof?"
She nodded. "Jeremy's up there with them. They're having a snowball fight."
"Good." Tiff removed the apron over her head and smoothed the front of her shirt over her baby bump. "You have a guest in your room. Jeremy will take him out of the building later."
"Dawson?" Her stomach fluttered, confusing her more.
Tiff frowned. "I've promised Jeremy I won't ask questions, but I'm going to ask you again if you're okay with him seeing you?"
Roni inhaled, torn between being the exemplary sex worker to stay out of trouble and needing a woman to talk to about Dawson. Once again, she wished Jackie were alive and here with her to discuss what to do with her brother.
"I guess." Roni shrugged. "He's the brother of a woman I was close to, and I think he's having a hard time coming to grips that his sister is dead."
"Oh, honey." Tiff hugged her.
She wasn't prepared for the embrace. Her arms trapped to her side by the spontaneous show of affection, she could only stand there and let Tiff hug her. A comforting ache settled in her chest. Unused to emotional contact despite giving blowjobs for a living, she couldn't stop her thoughts from coming out.
"I miss her so much," Roni said.
"Of course, you do." Tiff pulled back and put her hands on Roni's shoulders. "Death is the worst part of life. Those left behind suffer the most."
"I know." Roni sniffed. "I better go talk to Dawson while the others are on the roof."
Tiff cocked her head and lowered her voice. "Do you know what he wants from you?"
Roni nodded. "I can't give him what he wants, and I don't think he understands my position and what he's asking of me."
"Men are all the same, honey," whispered Tiff. " You know how to convince him to leave you alone if that's what you want to happen."
She trembled even thinking about what Tiff recommended doing. It was one thing to open her mouth to customers who left immediately afterward. Dawson was Jackie's brother. She couldn't seduce him or blow him off. It'd be awkward and wrong, and she had no idea if that was a part of why he wouldn't give up the thought of helping her and continued to hang around.
"Okay," she mumbled.
Tiff gave her hand a parting squeeze. Roni walked out of the kitchen and to her room. Outside the door, she paused and took a deep breath. She had never used her body to get her way before. She catered to men for money and had only submitted to Vince out of survival.
She blew her cheeks out, held her breath, and slowly let the air escape. Then she entered the room.
Dawson stood with his back to her, staring out the sliding glass door into the night. She quietly shut the main door, conscious of him unaware of her coming inside the room.
His broad shoulder rounded in thought.
His large hand planted on the glass held him up.
She swallowed and remained by the door. Something was off.
Every time he'd visited her in the last few weeks, he'd made an appointment or stayed after his paid time was over with approval from Jeremy and Tiff. Dawson never showed up during her free time.
After two days had gone by without him stopping by Red Light to visit her, she'd had the thought that he'd left town and gave up on her.
Earlier when Marci handed her the schedule for the day, she'd finally relaxed at finding his name gone from the list. With his absence, her job security returned. She could plan to stay working at Red Light until her contract was over and then move on to the next bordello within the Network.
But he hadn't left town, and she found herself stunned by her reaction. She wasn't disappointed, and instead found herself relieved he'd stayed.
The second Jeremy had asked her to go downstairs and talk to Tiff, she stepped back at the quick burst of adrenaline hitting her. Talking with the madam meant she'd broken a rule or left a customer unhappy with her service. But, her first thought, no, her hope was that Dawson had come to her.
That change in her attitude was worse than anything. She couldn't afford to care what Dawson thought or worry about his feelings.
He couldn't stay.
A man lost in his grief. Dawson latched on to her to shake the demons off his back. He wanted Jackie, Sparrows, and his former life back. Including her as the property of Sparrows.
