“Coach Cortez? I remember him. I can’t believe that he’s still here…” Fear’s voice disappeared as he followed an excited Tristan off the bleachers.
“I can’t get over how much you all look alike,” I said to both Talon and Dane. Both men were watching Tristan and Fear with matching smiles.
“Yes, he wants so much for Hunter to want to get to know him. We all do; Tristan is just a little more vocal about it,” Dane explained. “When I found out I had a son I knew nothing about, I wanted nothing more than to track him down and include him in our family.”
“The first time that you found out about Fear was from the news broadcast on Unders and the murders?” I asked. A psycho detective who had a closeted crush on Dane killed Tula, Fear’s mother. Alfie and Fear had been targeted and had suffered continued attacks from who we eventually found out was Dane’s old foster brother. Yes, it was very confusing and convoluted. The pain that Unders caused would not be forgotten by any of them. The only good thing to come from it was that Fear had been introduced to Dane and his kids.
“Yeah, it was one hell of a shock. I saw his picture and something in me just knew, then the police got in touch and everything fell into place. I always felt there was something off with that whole family. It’s not often that you get thrown out as a kid and feel nothing but relief. I’d wanted to leave for a long time; I just hadn’t figured out how to do it yet.” He shook his head. “I had no idea. I will never forgive myself for letting Hunter suffer the way he did.” I got the feeling from the way he spoke that he wasn’t just talking about recently. He was blaming himself for not being there for Fear when he was a kid.
“It wasn’t so bad. We all had each other,” I told him.
“You were raised in the system, too?”
“Yeah, we all were. James, Fear, Carter, and I all came from the same kid’s home. Mr. Parker…”
“Call me Dane, son.”
“Dane, we had each other’s backs growing up. It was much better than the situations we all came from. I guess you could say we felt the same relief you were talking about. We became brothers and took care of each other. He was okay. I am not going to lie and say it was easy. But let’s face it, life never is. What you have to focus on is that you have an incredible son, and we all know he didn’t get that from Tula. So the way I figure it, there was always a part of you with him, guiding him. He protected us all at one time or another.” Fuck...this was all coming out all wrong. “I guess what I am trying to say is, he was never alone, and the part of you he needed, he carried with him always.” Dane didn’t say anything in response, just looked at me as if he wanted me to explain further.
So I did. “Your heart, man. Fear has a really big heart, the way you are with your other kids. That came from you.” I reached up and patted his shoulder. “He doesn’t blame you and trust me, he wants to get to know all of you. He just takes his time when it comes to new people and change. You’ll see. The only downside to getting Fear in your life is that he comes with the rest of us. We are sort of a package deal.”
“Sounds good to me. You can never have too much family,” Dane said with a small smile on his lips.
“Too true.” I wore my own matching smile.
The try-outs went great for Tristan, and we all knew that without a doubt he was going to be representing the high school on the football field. That kid was practically bouncing off the walls as we walked into the Diner. We were still a sight and were getting the stares to prove it. Seventeen people all dressed in the same shirt. Yes, even Tristan now wore one. Only his said “My family” on the front. When little Lily gave him the T-shirt, his whole face lit up, and he couldn’t change into it fast enough. He also hadn’t left Fear’s side. From the look of it, Fear didn’t seem to mind, and even if he did, he would never let it show.
It took a while, but we were finally all seated. I had Talon on my left and Alfie on my right. Across from me sat Molly and Sheridan. When the waitress came to take our drink order, it was a chaotic mess; the kids were excited and our crowd was louder than most, so I didn’t notice at first. Talon was wound so tight, like a coiled spring waiting to come apart.
“What can I get you?” the waitress, whose name tag read Sophie, asked him. The rest of the table were all involved in their own conversations and weren’t paying attention to Talon’s discomfort. He looked ready to bolt. It shocked me at how deeply his anxiety affected me. I hated seeing him with so much pain in his eyes.
“Can we both have a Coke, please?” I said and saw Talon visibly release some of his tension. Sophie nodded and continued taking orders.
“Write down what you want and I will order it when she comes back. Is Coke okay?” I asked. Talon nodded while biting his bottom lip. Wow, his lips were so plump and…what the fuck? I was not going there with Fear’s kid brother.
5
Talon
Why was I such a fucking loser? I should be able to order a fucking drink without having a meltdown. Tristan was usually the one that ordered for me, but honestly, it was generally just the four of us, so if he didn’t, Molly or Dad would do it. I don’t think I have ever been out with this many people, and my nerves are all over the place.
Not wanting to have the same problem again, I quickly wrote down what I wanted and handed the note to Tate. He didn’t make a big deal of it, just nodded and smiled at me.
Tate was a very good-looking guy, tall—6’2” maybe even 6’3”—muscular, with brown hair and stormy blue eyes. His tattoos, though, were what made him truly stand out. They were all so colorful, depicting everything from cartoon characters to angelic scenes. They really were spectacular.
When I heard Dad say my name, I looked up and realized that I must’ve missed something. Everyone had stopped talking and the whole table was looking in my direction. Fuck! Did I just get caught drooling over Tate?
“Fear was asking about what happened today, how you got hurt,” Dad said. I could tell that he was deferring to me. Letting me tell what I wanted if I wanted.
“I know you didn’t fall so don’t try that one again, T!” Tristan added his penny’s worth. I looked at my little brother and could see the worry my asking him to keep my secret had caused. He wanted me to share. I guess I might as well get it all out there now anyway. Dad knew now; what was another dozen people knowing how completely pathetic I was? I hadn’t meant for Tristan to find out, but he’d turned up at my job and saw one of Christopher’s daily shows. I knew it had been on his mind ever since. At least now Tristan finally had a brother he could look up to. Not one that was defective and a complete embarrassment.
I nodded at my dad and allowed him to tell everyone about what happened today.
“This Christopher asshole. This the first time he’s pulled something like this?” James, one of Hunter’s friends, asked. Before I could even attempt to deny it, Tristan jumped in again. I guess he really was over it.
“No, it is not the first time, he has been doing it for ages.”
“What do you mean ages, Tris? How would you know what has been going on and for how long?” Dad asked, looking at Tristan and using his stern, don’t give me any shit voice.
I tapped the table to get Dad’s attention and shook my head, pointing at myself. I was not going to let my little brother get in trouble for me. Dad shook his head, yet another time I have let him down.
“No, Dad. I…I showed up at his work a month or so back and some men were giving T a hard time, that’s all. Don’t be mad at him.” Tristan tried to defend me. This was mortifying; my fifteen-year-old brother was now defending me.
I could feel myself sinking and knew that before long, I would be drowning in the blackness. It always started like this. I felt everything weighing on me so heavy that it pulled me down until all I could see and feel was nothing and numb.
“T, you okay?” I heard Tristan’s voice, but I was sinking so fast that his voice was muffled and so quiet that I couldn’t respond. All I could focus on were the inner words
I was throwing at myself. Useless. Worthless. Broken. Embarrassment. Disappointment. Pathetic. The words bounced around, growing louder and louder that everything else faded into the background.
I felt a hand on my face, fingers gripping my chin and a warm palm on my cheek. It felt really good, soothing and warm. There was no pain in the touch and it made me want to cling to it.
“Hey, look at me. Just me. Shut everything else out,” I heard a low, comforting voice say. The grip on my chin got tighter and the words were repeated. “Look at me, Talon.” Blinking my eyes, I did as I was told and focused on Tate’s sympathetic face.
“Hey, that’s it. Keep looking at me.” I did as Tate told me and shut everyone else out; relief swamped me when even the words screaming inside my head started to quiet down. “That happen a lot?” he asked me. I didn’t want to answer the question, I didn’t want to look even more like an idiot by admitting that yes, it did happen a lot; it happened all the fucking time. And I especially didn’t want to acknowledge that any more of me was flawed, but I felt compelled to tell the truth, almost as if the lie I would tell anyone else refused to come out. I felt myself nod and his grip loosened but didn’t go away.
“Listen to me, okay? No one here is judging you. We all have our quirks. Parts of ourselves that we try to hide from everyone. But you don’t have to hide anything from us. Everyone here is family, let your freak flag fly. Not a one of us can claim to be run of the mill normal and not one of us wants to be. We are not the type of family that hurt each other or make us feel shit about ourselves. I am talking about real family. Family that loves each other because of what makes us different.
“I could tell you tons of shit about everyone in this room. Drake, he is shy, painfully shy and hides that shy behind a neon green mohawk, piercings, and a scowl. He thinks if he looks mean enough to those who don’t know him, they will just leave him alone. But truthfully, he is the kindest and most heartfelt guy you’ll ever meet.
“Carter farts all the time. I know you might think that is nothing big, but trust me, it can be a big problem when we allow him in public; he can clear a room in seconds. We are still taking a poll to see if something actually died up there because that shit is not right. I am sure you will all see soon enough.
“I have abandonment issues, bad ones. Makes me a clingy fuck. I end up annoying people because I don’t like to be alone. It’s a vicious cycle and an ongoing battle. Hayley, she likes to mother everyone and is always flapping around and telling us all what to do, a real bossy boots. James, well, James is shockingly normal, but he has been through hell and back. Talk to him; he will tell you, but just thinking he did choose all of us as his family, that’s not the behavior of sane person.
“Mama Sheri is a nut case. I mean no one in their right mind would take on all of us. She also bought and designed these shirts within twenty minutes of getting invited to Tristan’s try-out. Ben. I have nothing on Ben; he is basically a superhero. Alfie, he suffers from panic attacks, bad ones, a little like you. Talk to him about it; maybe he has some tips he can share that will help a little. Griffin and Lily, they lost their mom and dad and suffer from crippling nightmares.
“Fear, he is a lot like you, too. He has problems communicating, letting people get close. His past sometimes affects how he deals with things, or I should say people from his past affects how he deals with things. You are not alone in being different; we all are, and there is fuck-all wrong with you. Do you hear me?” Tate finally tapers off, my eyes still focused on him.
“I feel like I let all my kids down. I should’ve done certain things sooner. Sometimes, I don’t handle my failings well. I am truly sorry for some of the decisions I have made,” my dad added.
“I have dyslexia and can’t read a write very well. But Talon always listens to me practice and never gets mad at how long it sometimes takes me,” a tearful Tristan says. My little brother is so brave.
“I had a one-night stand and got knocked up,” Molly shouted.
Everyone turned and looked at her. “I know this is probably not the time to share, but like Tate said, we are all family, and he is right, T. There is nothing wrong with you and whoever that dickhead was, he was more than likely jealous and had a bad case of little man syndrome. I don’t even have to have seen him to know that.”
“How far along are you?” Hayley asked. Geez, that woman has baby on the brain.
“Coming up on three months,” Molly rather sheepishly replied.
“Oooooooohhhhhhhh, who…” Sheridan started.
“Mother, nope,” Alfie quickly interrupted.
“What? It is not like we don’t all want to know. And you’re right. We are all family and family can ask stuff like that.” Sheridan tried to defend herself by using the family card. We all knew, though, that she was just a nosy mama.
“Nope.” Alfie shut her down again.
“Doesn’t matter who it is, is he stepping up?” Fear asked.
“I haven’t told him yet. I umm…didn’t exactly get his number. He sort of took off after his happy ending, if you know what I mean.” Molly turned a bright shade of red.
“Oh, this is good,” Sheridan squealed.
“Mother!” Alfie whisper-yelled at Sheridan.
“Where did you meet him? Could you go back there, see if he shows again?” Hayley suggested.
“That’s not really a possibility.”
“Why?” James asked.
When she didn’t answer and looked down at her hands in her lap, it was Alfie who broke the silence. “You met him at our party, didn’t you? It’s Max, isn’t it?” Molly’s head snapped up and from one look at her face we all knew that Alfie was right.
“Fuck,” I heard Hayley’s husband say.
The rest of the meal was spent trying to ignore the two big elephants in the room—me and my major freak out and Molly and her bun in the oven. I was actually surprised that everyone seemed to act like nothing life-changing had happened. It wasn’t in a way that they didn’t care, more like they were all used to epic levels of drama. I wasn’t sure why I found that thought comforting, but I did.
“Talon, you like your job?” Hunter asked me as we sat around and waited for the little kids to finish their ice cream.
I nodded but reached for my notepad and pen to explain in more detail.
* * *
The job is ok.
I work in the mailroom.
Not something I want to do long term.
* * *
Once I finished writing, I handed it to Hunter. “You want a job working with me at the shop? It won’t be anything glamorous. Taking and entering appointments in the computer, keeping inventory, helping me and the guys set up before each client.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to indicate that I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone who came into the shop.
I knew that he understood when he said, “Don’t worry about that. There is never anyone alone in the shop, so one of us is always within waving distance. Hayley and JJ are always in and out as well.”
I had no idea what to do. I really wanted to take him up on the offer, but a part of me was scared shitless to accept. What if I let him down? What if I embarrassed him?
“Hey, he wouldn’t offer if he didn’t want you there. I mean it has got to be better than going to work every day with an asshole. You get to enjoy our delightful company instead. Imagine the possibilities. And FYI, Mama Sheri brings food and coffee when she comes to visit.” Tate had a bright smile on his face. I liked that he was trying to convince me. Maybe I would make some friends here after all and get to know my big brother at the same time.
I nodded and rubbed my palm over my heart before I even realized what I was doing. Hunter, though, didn’t make a big deal out of my gesture. He just took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a second, and said “Me, too, little bro. Me, too.” He got it. It looked like Tate was right; Hunter and I were a lot alike. We didn’t need words to convey what we wanted to say. The lack of
words, however, didn’t take away from the meaning behind the actions. “I’ll text you and we can sort out your start date.”
I nodded and looked down, not wanting to show how much what he’d said and was offering meant to me.
By the time we got home, it was late and I was in pain and extremely tired. I thought it was safe to say that the events of the day had eventually caught up with me.
I was halfway up the stairs when my phone vibrated in my pocket. There was no way I would be able to check it. It was taking every bit of strength I had just to walk up the stairs. Fuck, my ribs hurt. I was taking a breather halfway up when Dad started up the stairs.
“You and I need to talk. Then I need talk to your sister. But first, how about I help you up the stairs?” I nodded because I knew he was going to help me regardless of what I said, and I really wanted a shower, which was not going to happen if I was stuck halfway up the stairs. The talk I was not looking forward to, but that was inevitable.
We had just cleared the doorway to my room when he started. “Okay, I am not going to start in on you about you keeping the shit this guy was pulling from me. I am not even going to give you shit about the fact your little brother seemed to know and you somehow convinced him to keep it quiet. I am not even going to ask if you are okay, because from the look of pain I can see on your face, I know that you are not. What I am going to do is sit down here on the bed next to my son and let him comfort me about the fact that my daughter is knocked up by someone that she had a ten-minute fumble with at a party.” When he finished speaking, he sat heavily on the bed and let his head fall into his hands.
I had no idea how I could make this easier for him. Grabbing my notebook from the bedside table, I told him the only thing I could.
* * *
Sharpening His Broken Talon (Living Art Book 2) Page 4
