Yes, I can sing.
Don’t make me speak and everything should be fine.
Please help me do this for Tristan. I won’t let you guys and especially my little brother down, I promise.
Oh and P.S, I am fucking terrified so just take my word for it that if I didn’t have to do this, there is no way in hell that I would be putting myself out there like this.
I CAN DO IT!!!
* * *
I handed what I hoped was all Tanya needed to read to know just how much I didn’t want to be doing this, but would for Tristan. She looked up at me and nodded.
“Right, well, Talon is singing for us then. We need to go over the set list and make sure that he knows the words to what we had planned and get everything ready. We might need more than twenty minutes,” Tanya announced to everyone. “Can you guys leave us to it for a little while?”
“I’m staying, just carry on like I’m not here. Go do you your thing.” Tate left no room for argument. I was definitely in love with the man. He was staying for me. Alfie looked between both Tate and me and whatever he saw made him feel comfortable enough to walk out the door, promising mysterious deaths and ample amounts of pain if we didn’t get our shit together. The wink he gave me as he left made sure I knew his comment wasn’t directed at me.
“What is on this set list then?” Tate asked for me. I loved that he was able to do that. Take the pressure off me.
Tanya started pulling out a piece of paper, which I am sure held the list of songs they had planned on doing, when Mr. High-as-a-kite decided to join the conversation.
“You really going to replace me with the mute? Do you not see the irony in this?” he stated angrily.
“It looks like it, Dakota, and to be honest, dude, it’s your own fault that we are in this situation in the first place. It’s done. So just leave. You have fucked us enough,” a muscular, tattooed guy spoke up for the first time.
“I’m out; I don’t need this shit!” Dakota, I guess his name was, shouted as he slammed out the door.
Not even bothering to pause a moment, Tanya started reading out the set list.
“I’m not sure how much you know about our band, but what we do is take regular pop/rock music and put our own take on it. We sort of have a punky rocky edge to all our stuff. The first song is always the same in any gig that we do; it is sort of our signature opener. Queen, “We Will Rock You.” Do you know it?” At my nod, she handed me the list.
1) Queen- We Will Rock You
2) Lukas Graham- 7 Years
3) Shawn Mendes- Stitches
4) Zayn Malik- Pillowtalk
5) Justin Bieber- Love Yourself
6) Sia- Chandelier
7) Frozen sound track- Let It Go
8) Guns and Roses- Paradise City
9) Miley Cyrus- Wrecking Ball
10) Kings of Leon- Sex On Fire
Break
11) Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit
12) Blue October- Hate Me
13) Mötley Crüe- Home Sweet Home
14) Taylor Swift- Blank Space
15) Sam Smith- Only One
16) Ed Sheeran- Thinking Out Loud
17) Justin Timberlake- Mirrors
18) Beyoncé- Single Ladies
19) Justin Bieber- Sorry
20) Journey- Faithfully
* * *
“Here, listen to my phone. I recorded a gig from a while ago. Let me know if it is something that you can pull off, or if we need to adjust something to make it work for you. We will make this work, okay? You said you could do it, and I believe you. Now, you have to give me a minute so I can go and convince those guys that they should believe in you, too.” With that she turned, leaving me with just her phone and Tate.
With shaking hands, I turned and looked at Tate. I knew that he saw it because he didn’t say anything, he just reached for my hand and pulled me into the backstage bathroom.
11
Tate
I could see the fear in his eyes and knew that he was only seconds away from freaking out, so dragging him into the bathroom with me seemed like the best idea. Some place quite, just him and me.
“You’re doing great. Let’s listen to this and see what you are going to have to do. Do you know all the songs on that list?” I asked, staring at the shaking man before me. “Stop that. Stop doubting yourself. You have got this. Look at me.” I palmed his cheek. “I believe in you; we all do. The only people that matter out there is family and it is your family. A family who loves you and will be rooting and supporting you every second.” I placed my other hand around the back of his neck and squeezed. “I am here for you, and if you feel that you are running out of courage, you give me the nod and I will give you some of mine.”
Clicking play on the first song, we listened to how they had changed up the song and what arrangement and tempo they used. It sounded amazing to me and when I looked up at Talon, I could tell that he agreed. His eyes were closed, and I had never seen him look so peaceful.
“What do you think? Does this work for you?” I asked him, needing to know that he was comfortable with moving on. He nodded and motioned for me to move onto the next song.
We only spent a few minutes reviewing each song.
“I am so proud of you. I know that might not mean much coming from me, but the fact that you are doing this for Tristan only proves to me what an amazing man you are. Do you hear me?” Both my hands palmed his cheeks. “You are truly amazing.” I closed the distance between us slowly, giving him the opportunity to stop me if he wanted to. He didn’t, and when our lips touched, I felt the peace he felt while listening to the music.
He felt like home.
I had felt adrift for so long. I have had the love of Fear and the guys, then from Sheridan, Alfie, and all of their clan, but I had never truly felt like I had a place that I belonged that wouldn’t disappear on me. My fear of abandonment was a very well-known issue that plagued me. The moment our lips touched, it was as if I felt grounded, safe, and secure for the first time. Geez, I sounded mushy.
Slowly, I opened up my mouth, wanting to explore him. There wasn’t a part of him that I didn’t want to know. Mirroring my actions, Talon followed my lead, opening his mouth a little hesitantly at first, but when I my tongue entered his mouth, he became bolder and surer. I used my tongue to encourage him to move however he wanted, to let him know he should comfortable to try anything with me. With me, he was always safe to be whoever he wanted to be.
He was soon kissing me with so much passion, I was having a hard time keeping my feet. It felt amazing, not one part of my body wasn’t tingling from his touch or kiss.
“Wow! That was…that was…fucking amazing,” I said, panting for breath. With his head resting on my shoulder, I felt his nod before his arms came up around me and held me tighter than I ever thought possible.
Enjoying the silence of just being in each other’s arms, neither one of us wanted to move. Unfortunately, the knock on the door ended our perfect moment.
“Guys, I am sorry to rush whatever it is that you are doing in there, but we really need to get this show on the road. I am little scared that if we don’t that other guy might actually combust or something,” Talon’s ex-work colleague shouted through the door. Tanya, I think her name was.
“You ready for this? We can still make a run for it. We can runaway bride it out the back door and no one will be any the wiser. Or we can make Alfie go up there. But if that is the route you want to go, I feel that it is my duty to tell you that the man cannot sing. And when I say that, I mean he really CANNOT sing. Think of the worst singer you have ever heard and multiply it by a million,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Talon grabbed my hand and quickly opened the door. I knew that he didn’t want the chance to back out. He just wanted to get this done as soon as he could.
Walking back into the room hand in hand, Talon and I were met with silence and four very nervous faces.
“You down with this, man?” Lank
y guy asked.
Talon nodded at his question then turned to me and mimed writing. I found something for him to write on and with. After he finished writing, he handed me the note.
1) Can you get everyone’s names for me?
2) Can you please tell them that they are going have to do the talking up on stage?
3) Can you tell them that the tempo is fine? But to listen out for cues and things. It’s highly possible I am going to make a mistake.
4) Thank you so much for being here with me and for giving me my first kiss. I am glad it was with the person who sees the real me. Broken, damaged, imperfect me. xxxx
Whispering in his ear, I said, “Our imperfections make us perfect for each other. And don’t worry; that was just the first of many.” I couldn’t focus on being Talon’s first kiss right now; I would save that for later when I could devote my time to what that meant for us. Turning to the others, I asked them to introduce themselves.
“Sorry, Talon, we should have done that. You know me, but your…” she trailed off but looked in my direction. I knew what she was asking, and I didn’t make her wait for an answer.
“I’m his boyfriend. I’m Tate, pleased to meet you, Tanya.” I didn’t look at Talon when I confirmed Tanya’s suspicions. We hadn’t talked about what we were to one another. So maybe it was very presumptuous of me to just assume that we both wanted the same things. But right now, I needed to stand by him, with him.
“You, too, Tate. Okay, well, introductions. I play bass and sing back up. That over there is Wink, he plays guitar.” She pointed over to a tall, skinny tattooed man leaning against the wall. “Boppy plays the drums.” Boppy was a very muscular man tapping an inner rhythm on his knees. He nodded when Tanya introduced him. Finally, she pointed to the only other man in the room, which, of course, was the vocal, tall, and lanky man. “Perry here is our keyboard player and reluctant manager.”
“Please to meet you guys; we both are. This is Talon. He says the arrangements and tempo are good. He just wants you all to keep an eye out. Watch for cues, feed off each other. Lastly, he wants one of you to do all of the talking.”
“This is so fucking ridiculous. This guy can’t even talk; how the hell is he going to sing? Let alone sing in front of a room full of people. I bet he has never sung for anyone else. How the hell do we even know if he can?” Perry shouted.
“Hey! Okay, let me start by saying that I understand this is your band and it means a lot to you. But that man…” I pointed to Talon. “Means the world to me. He would not be putting himself out there like this for anyone less than his baby brother, and he would never in a million fucking years do something that would make his brother or family look bad. If you knew him, you would know that if he said that he can do this, then he can.”
“Let’s just do this. We are out of options now, anyway,” Boppy said, jumping up from the couch before heading for the door.
“We’ve got this, and hey, if this is going to be our last show, I say we go out with a huge fucking bang,” Wink said before following Boppy out the door.
“Come on, Talon; it is going to be one hell of a show.” Tanya took Talon’s hand, leading him out the door. I could tell from the way he was holding his body tight and rigid that he was barely keeping it together. He didn’t look back at me and a small, selfish part of me was thankful for that. Seeing him in pain was torture for me. The larger part of me, though, was scared that he didn’t. I would do anything to take the fear and pain away. Even if it meant carrying it for him.
Making my way out the same door as the band, I caught the last glimpse of Talon walking behind a curtain that separated the backstage from the performance area. I didn’t want to waste any time in getting to where Talon could see me from the stage.
The first people I saw when I made it out into the front of the club were Fear and Alfie. I had no idea how I was going to broach the subject or how I was going to tell my friend that I had fallen for his baby brother. Fuck, he was either going to smash my face in or give me a…no, no, he was definitely going to smash my face in.
“Is he all right?” Fear asked the moment I reached them.
“I wouldn’t say he was all right, but he is determined not to let Tristan down. Fear, I really need to talk to you about something pretty important. Now, just hear me out before you react.” Goodbye, pretty face. Man, I am going to miss my un-flattened nose.
“If this is you trying to tell me that you have something going on with my little brother, don’t worry about it. I know, and I am good with it. In fact, I couldn’t think of a better man for my brother. I know that if anyone can make him believe how amazing he is, it’s you.” Struck silent by his admission, I couldn’t seem to get my mind working.
“How did…how did you…?” It was clear that I was having a brain fart of some kind. I couldn’t even complete a full sentence.
“Come on, Alfie can’t keep anything from me. He is a vault with anyone else, but with me he can’t help himself. He came back earlier, tried to act all cool. Then he tried to play it off, as if it was about the band and the druggy singer. When that didn’t work, all it took was a few suggestions of our plans tonight, and he folded like a cheap suit. You can’t really blame him; he finds me irresistible,” Fear explained.
“He’s right, I really do,” Alfie added unhelpfully. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but the moment he saw me, he knew I had a secret.” At least he had the good grace to look apologetic.
“You’re really okay with this?” For some reason, I felt the need to ask.
“Like I said, there is no better man for my brother. Just teach him to smile and make sure to tell him how amazing he is every day. That bitch took his childhood, his past. You give him the perfect future he deserves. Love you, bro.” Feeling all my emotions clog my throat, I could do nothing but pull my best friend to me and hug the big lug.
“Love you back.” Fear gave me a squeeze before releasing me and pulling a sniffling Alfie into his side.
When he saw me looking at Alfie, he just shrugged. “He’s a big softy.”
Movement from the stage had us all turning. FUCK! Please, let him be okay. I wanted nothing more than to make all this easier for him, and the fact that I couldn’t do anything more than just stand here was fucking unbearable.
The energy around us started to shift, becoming almost electric with excitement. It was as if they knew something truly amazing was about to happen.
“Hey, guys,” Tanya called out to the crowd. The answering cheer was deafening.
“I am sorry we are running a little late,” Tanya said cheerfully into the microphone. “But we are here, and it’s time to get the party started. What do you say?” The crowd’s response was a wave of noise confirming that everyone was indeed ready to party. “It sounds as if you know who we are, but just in case you don’t, we are Combined Dysfunctions and when we found out that Tristan was having a birthday party, we forced him to let us play.” Everyone chuckled and laughed at that.
“Happy birthday, Tristan. Thanks for letting us join you tonight. Now, enough of this talking shit. Let’s play.” I watched as Tanya returned the microphone to its stand and walked over to her bass and got ready to perform. All the band looked just as anxious as Talon, who if I was honest, looked as if he was about to lose his lunch. I knew the band was taking a risk with performing with an unknown, unheard, and unrehearsed performer. Selfishly, I really didn’t give a fuck about them. My only concern was for the man who was trying to hide on a stage in front of over a hundred people.
I watched as he approached the microphone and closed his eyes. I was trying to send subliminal messages for him to look at me. That if he needed any help or even a quick escape route, I would be there to help him. He didn’t look up, though; he just kept looking down at the stage floor, his eyes shut tight.
“Why is T on stage?” a very worried Tristan asked Fear, Alfie, and I.
“He is being a fucking amazing brother. Just watch,” Fear answ
ered, grabbing Tristan around the shoulder and pulling him close. I was not sure if it was to comfort Tristan or if Fear just needed him close. Whichever it was, I was glad they could gain strength from one another. Looking around, I could see Dane, Sheridan, Ben, and the rest of the guys all sharing my look of trepidation. Not that we didn’t think Talon could do this, but of what it would take from him to do it.
The band started to play the opening notes of Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” The band itself was amazing. The played flawlessly, so in sync with one another it was seamless.
“Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay,” I could hear Tristan muttering to himself.
I was just about to comfort Tristan when my world stopped. The band stopped playing and started to clap. Clap clap clap. Clap clap clap. Clap clap clap...
“Buddy, you’re a boy, make a big noise, playin’ in the street, gonna be a big man some day! You got mud on yo‘ face, you big disgrace. Kickin’ your can all over the place. Singin’, we will we will rock you.” I was frozen solid. The voice I was hearing was phenomenal: the tones and rasp of his voice. His eyes were squeezed together tight, no doubt trying to block out all the faces staring at him.
“That right there is my little brother who thought there was nothing special about him. If only he knew there wasn’t one single part of him that wasn’t fucking spectacular,” Fear said, the pride and emotion thick in his voice.
Taking a moment to look around, I noticed that every single person in the club had stopped what they were doing, spellbound by Talon. I guess the band wasn’t bad either.
“I am going to make that man mine,” I said to no one in particular; I was just unable to stop the declaration from escaping.
“He has been yours for weeks now, Tate. From the moment you calmed him at the restaurant. I may not be good with words but I am a fucking great observer. There is not much that gets by me. You’re the only one that he’s let in when he locked the rest of us out. I would say that you’re his as much he is yours. Now shut up and let me listen to my li’l bro kill it.”
Sharpening His Broken Talon (Living Art Book 2) Page 10
