by Kim Goldman
You took from Ron his dreams, his future successes.
You took from Ron the opportunity to laugh, to feel the sun and the wind and the rain.
You took from Ron the opportunity to marry a woman he loved and who would love him.
You took from Ron the opportunity to have children and to be the most unbelievably wonderful father this world could imagine.
You took from Ron the love of his family.
You took from Ron the joy of watching Brian, Michael, and Lauren grow into fine young people.
You took from Ron the opportunity to share the rest of his life with Kim, his sister, his best friend, the other half of his soul.
You took from Ron the love of Patti—more of a mother to him than he ever had before.
You took from Ron the love of a father whose love and respect for him was deeper than he could have ever known.
You took from this earth the kind of man you never were, never have been, and never could be. Nothing can change that. No amount of anger I could vent, or tears I could shed, will alter the one, heartbreaking fact that my son is gone forever. There can be no words that will ever bring him back.
In a just world, you would have been found guilty of savagely murdering two human beings. You would have been sentenced to death. You would have spent the past year sitting in a sunless cell, awaiting the day justice would be carried out.
I believe that this world would be a better place without you.
There is nothing more to say.
You are not worth any more of my words. You are not worth any more of my energy. You are not worth any more of my passion.
You are not worthy to walk in Ron’s shadow.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
It is impossible for us to express our appreciation to all those individuals who have offered their emotional, professional, spiritual, and financial support during the past two and one half years. Their numbers are legion. There are some we must single out.
To the prosecution team: Marcia Clark, Chris Darden, Bill Hodgman, Hank Goldberg, George “Woody” Clarke, Cheri Lewis, Lisa Kahn, Brian Kelberg, Ken Lynch, Rochne Harmon, Scott Gordon, Alan Yochelson, David Wooden, Diana Martinez, Darrell Mavis, Dana Escobar, Jonathan Fairtlough, Patty Jo Fairbanks, Gil Garcetti, Suzanne Childs—you gave up so much of your lives in the fight for justice for Ron and Nicole. We have the deepest respect, admiration, and affection for each and every one of you.
Let us not forget the numerous law clerks, now D.A.’s—you worked so diligently behind the scenes and still had smiles on your faces every morning before we left for court. Natalie Agajanian, Melissa Decker, Kathy Behfarin, Susan “DJ” Dozier, Lisa Fox, Matthew Gibbs, Tracy Miller, Michael Price, and Tom Ratanavaraha.
Special thanks to former LAPD Detectives Tom Lange and Phil Vannatter, and to Detective Ron Phillips. You are three amazing, honest, caring men who never deserved the mud that was slung in your direction.
To the team of investigators from the D.A.’s office who escorted and protected us throughout the criminal trial: No matter how dismal the day, you had bright smiles and warm greetings for us. Over time, we became very close to each of you—Lieutenant Gary Schram, Bill Guidas, Wil Abrams, Ken Godinez, Mike Stevens, Dana Thompson, Jack Gonterman, Brian Hale, George Mueller, Pat McPherson, Gene Salvino, Steve Oppler, Mike Armstrong. Thanks for taking such good care of “the package.” We will never forget you.
To the Santa Monica and Los Angeles Police Departments and the Ventura County Sherriffs Department: Thank you for going beyond the “call of duty.”
To Mark Arenas—our support, our confidant, our friend, our rock, our Victim-Witness Advocate: Without your kindness, knowledge, strength, support, and love, we would not have been able to get through this horrible fiasco every day. You lived it, as we did. Thank you is hardly enough to express the gratitude and the respect we have for you.
To Randy Moss of Ram Video Productions and to Ira R. Ellis of Ira Ellis Photography: Thank you for the endless time you devoted to bringing Ron’s memory to life. You are truly special to our family.
To Nancy Claiborne, Ron Zito, Annie Leibovitz, Bob Nagai, Karen Dean Fritt, Bobbi Berg, Joanne Miraglia, Dolly Norris, and Wil Waterman, Très Chique, Brian and Phyllis Harvey, Terry Murphy and Brian Timsit, Colleen Campbell, Rabbi Bernie King, Rosey Brown: You reached out with warmth and gave your sincere support. Thank you.
To the Browns: We know your pain, your frustration, and your deep loss is immeasurable. May your futures be filled with peace, comfort, and happiness.
To members of the media who sacrificed so much of their time to cover this tragedy, especially Shoreen Maghame, Harvey Levin, Michelle Caruso, John North, Dominick Dunne, Cynthia McFadden, Dan Abrams, Geraldo Rivera, and Barbara Walters: We respect and value your difficult job and, most of all, thank you for your friendship and warmth.
To Elayne Rice, Alecia and Edgar Jacobs, and Joyce and Jay Friedrichs and family: You are truly what “family” is all about. Your constant support, comfort, encouragement, and unconditional love have given us strength. What would we have done without all of you? Lots of Love, “All of Us.”
You treated Ron and me as if we were always part of your family. You took us in, no questions asked. And when tragedy struck, you stayed. You may never understand how much that means to both of us. From the bottom of my heart, and Ron’s, please know how important you are and how much we love you. Love, Kim.
To Brian: Just wanted to let you know that you are important to us and that we love you. Love, Mom and Fred.
Going through this tragedy together, supporting one another and helping each other has definitely brought us all closer. We love you. Lauren and Michael.
To Dad: Your understanding, your love, your support, your ability to stop everything in order to be there as a shoulder to cry on, and just being you, have helped us get through this horrible time in our lives. We love you. Michael and Lauren.
To Charlotte Prochnow, Annette and Izzy Katov, Babe and Irv Rubel, and Irene and Bernie Goldman: The past several years have been a constant reminder of the importance of “family.” Thanks for all the calls, the caring, and for being there for all of us.
To Rabbi Gary Johnson: Thank you for all of your encouraging prayers, your phone calls, and your comforting words.
Ron’s close friends: Pete Argyris and Mike Pincus, for sharing your memories of Ron with us and for helping us to relive the vital, vibrant, good times that so characterized Ron’s short life. Lauren Cohen, you and Ron will be “eternally” connected. Jacqui Bell, for being such an important part of Ron’s life. He truly loved you. Each of you has given new meaning to the word “loyal.” And to all of Ron’s friends, too numerous to mention, thank you for making the word “friendship” so important in Ron’s life.
Lauren’s friends: Jenny: Your support, guidance, incredible friendship, caring ways, and love have made it easier. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Jamie, Julie, Lindsey: thanks for your endless hugs, your hours of company, and for your support. Breann: Our late-night talks and cries got me through a lot of sleepless nights. Theresa: Your compassion and friendship were an incredible help. Vicky: Your hugs, words, and presence made my days easier. Megan: Your support helped me get through this horrible time. John: Your warm hugs and friendly smile made my dreary days brighter.
Michael’s friends: You encircled me with love and support. Alexa: Our friendship has helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. Alisha, Melanie, Teresa, Josh, Chris, Eric, Vaughn, Brian, Shawn, Mike, the Duben, Gold, Ziegler, Morse, Jensen, and Nacassio families: What would I have done without your support and encouragement? To several of my teachers at Oak Park High School who supported me and listened to what I had to say—Kim Galbreath, Rob Hall, Jeff Chancer, Tess Wilcoff, and Mike McDermitt.
To Kim’s friends: Tricia Argyropoulis, for sharing stories of Ron. It truly helped to connect me to him and you. Joe Casciana, for being there in my darkest hours. Rich Davis, for being a loyal and t
remendous friend, even in spite of your own tragedy. Stacy Fohrman: No matter how we got to this point, I am fortunate to have you in my life. Joanne and Paul Geller, for always knowing when crying, ranting, or just a hug was necessary. Lisa Hurley: Few people are as capable of offering so much strength, support, and unconditional love. Erika Johnson Iacopetti, for eighteen years of “sisterhood.” Ron loved you as his own and so do I. Sarah Kupper, for being my dearest friend and always standing by my side. Amy Levine, for keeping me close every day. Jode Mann, for your insight. You truly get it, and thanks for the “sweater guy.” Jana Robertson, for years of friendship to both Ron and me. You will always be cherished. Brian Swislow, for years of friendship, enabling complete trust and understanding. Denise Nilson Woodgerd, who has come through on the deepest levels. Brillstein-Grey and John Ziffren, for giving me an opportunity as well as the space and flexibility to balance a job and fight for justice. Joel Adelman, for giving me the space to live again. And to Bruce Grayson, Carla Whalen, Rae Gelbart, Michelle Fetro, Michele Azenzer, Ron Woodward, Jr., Leslie Wilcox, Mike Hahn, Sharon Simon, Patricia Russell, Linda Robertson, the Jaffe and Kupper families: To all of you for possessing gifts of loyalty, compassion, unconditional love, and unwavering support. Thank you will never be enough.
To our dearest friends Barb and Rob Duben and family, Maralyn and Jerrold Gold and family, Andrea and Jim Ziegler and family: In the past we have shared the best of times, and you were with us throughout the worst of times. Your unconditional love and support has given us incredible strength. We could not have gotten through this nightmare without each of you. Neal and Jill Rose: Thanks for your trips from Phoenix to share your love and overwhelming support. Fern Rosenberg: Thank you for coming here from Chicago. As in the past, our close friendship has brought unconditional comfort, love, and support. Also, many thanks to other friends: Fran and Paul Kaufman, Sheri and Steve Karp, Sherri and Stephan Berke, Sherri and Arnie Friedman, Marilyn Glassman, Judi and Rob Howard, Hilary and Jon Matthew, Jeff and Cindee Zabner, Barb and Dave Shannon, Marcia and Richard Bliss, Arlene and Doug Braun, Barry and Charlene Davis, Ruth and Glen Rose, Pat and Elliot Schutzer, Joan and Barry Otelsberg, Ann and Phil Altman, Pauline and Milt Zablow, Margaret and Barry Pollack, Toni and Bob Liebman, Ernie Wish, Andi and Gary Sherwin, Julie Wish, Cheryl and Mike Dispaltro, Christie Banks, Joyce and Eddie Dolin, Cindy and Steve Pollack, Betsy and Bruce Bender. Each of you holds a special place in our hearts.
To Paul Marciano, CEO, Guess, Inc.: For introducing us to Dan Petrocelli—what a gift. We will never be able to thank you enough for all of your overwhelming support.
To our incredible team of attorneys: Dan Petrocelli, Tom Lambert, Peter Gelblum, Edward Medvene, and Yvette Molinaro of Mitchell, Silberberg and Knupp. Words can hardly express the respect, admiration, bond, and love that we have grown to feel for each of you over this past year. You not only did a phenomenal job to bring justice to Ron and to our family, but you did it with honesty and such dignity. We were proud to be part of your team and we will always hold a special place in our hearts for each of you. To Steve Foster, Carolyn Walker, and Maria Johnson, who worked behind the scenes to make sure that everything was on track. Your dedication and thoroughness were immeasurable. Additionally, Dan, thank you for believing in us, the truth, and the need for justice. Your passion, devotion, and dedication were the driving force of our case.
And, finally, to the thousands of strangers who have written to us, approached us, phoned us, and prayed for us: You will never know how much your kind words have meant to each of us. When you said, “I never knew Ron, but I feel as if I know him now,” we know we’ve accomplished what we set out to do.
Many people have contributed unselfishly to the production of this book and several must be singled out for special thanks.
To our editor, Claire Wachtel: Even though we resisted the process, we respect and admire your tough-love approach and your expertise. To Paul Fedorko, Tracy Quinn, Kim Lewis, Sharyn Rosenblum, Jacqueline Deval, and everyone else at William Morrow. It was worth it, even through all the sweat and tears.
To our agent, Pam Bernstein and Associates. Pam, could you ever have imagined what you were getting yourself into during your brief layover in Los Angeles (on your way back from visiting your son in Colorado)? With warmth and understanding, you gracefully led us through unfamiliar territory. Thank you for your guidance, compassion, and for introducing us to the Hoffers. And to Donna Dever, Pam’s assistant, who provided professional and personal support throughout the course of this project.
—The family of Ron Goldman
With Special Thanks
Our task of finding a co-author to understand our pain, sadness, and outrage was one we thought would be impossible. That task was accomplished within minutes of meeting not one but two authors. This husband-and-wife team made the difference and they made it work.
Marilyn and Bill, you each possess warmth, intuitiveness, compassion, sincerity, and understanding. You provided an environment that was safe and trusting in which we could share some of the most precious, painful, and personal events in our lives. You opened your arms and surrounded us as if we were all part of a big family. You masterfully gathered enormous amounts of information and coupled it with our entire family’s feelings and emotions. It was major therapy every time we sat down with you. Marilyn and Bill, you have not only become our counterparts, but also our confidants and friends. You became an integral part of our everyday lives and we will forever be in awe and admiration of your skill and art of writing. You are beautiful and loving people. Thank you for helping us to let others know—His Name Is Ron.
—With love,
Patti, Fred, Kim, Michael, and Lauren
We add our thanks to the William Morrow team and to our agent, Mel Berger, of the William Morris Agency.
This book would not be a reality without the aid of three of our close associates and friends. Our editorial associate Caroline Frye worked tirelessly. Without her editing, transcribing, organizational, and language skills, the manuscript would still be spinning on our hard disk. Our friend Jean Souza frequently kept the home fires burning.
Thanks to Nancy Grant Heston for her daily messages of encouragement—it’s true, we couldn’t have done it without you.
And, finally, to Fred, Patti, Kim, Michael, and Lauren: Thank you for giving us an opportunity to know and love Ron, and for reminding us of the true definitions of family, loyalty, and justice. We are honored to know you.
—William and Marilyn Hoffer
