Now here he was, back in my life, and all I could think about was pushing him away. Liam would kill him. He was a hundred times worse now than he had been back then.
I took a look at myself in the mirror. “Pull it together, Michelle,” I whispered to my reflection.
I had to get through this date with Nick. I was still trying to figure out a way to get Nick to change his mind about me.
“Mom!” Joey’s voice rang out. “Nick’s here and he says to hurry up.”
I rolled my eyes, dreading the next few hours.
“I’m coming!”
I took a deep breath, threw my shoulders back, and prepared for battle. When I walked into the living room, Liam and Nick were standing shoulder to shoulder, their backs to me. Clearly, they were discussing something important judging by the way their heads were pressed together.
“Here she is,” Joey announced.
Nick spun around and grinned. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi.”
“You ready to roll?”
I nodded. “I am.”
Liam glared at me, obviously not pleased with my lack of enthusiasm. I ignored it and followed Nick out the door like a dutiful sister. As we rode through the city streets, I kept looking for Elijah. Was he out there somewhere watching? I hated the idea of him seeing me with Nick, but it would be one way to get him to leave town.
At the restaurant, Nick, with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, handed me a small box. “Here.”
I took the box, feeling a huge ball of dread in my stomach, and opened it to discover an expensive-looking ring.
“What’s this?” I asked, playing dumb.
“It’s your engagement ring. Do you like it?”
I stared down at the diamond, wondering how he could afford something so big, and quickly dismissed the thought. I didn’t want to know. I had a feeling he had not purchased the ring at a jewelry store. There was no way I was wearing some woman’s stolen ring.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
Nick smiled like a fool.
“We can get you a pretty white dress. We’ll ride up to the courthouse on my Harley,” he said, grinning at the idea.
I stared at him, listening but not truly believing what I was hearing.
“I want to do it as soon as possible. Your brother has this idea about waiting until after we’re married or some shit,” he said, his tone revealing his frustration.
“Waiting?” I asked, barely following the conversation.
“You know, before we have sex.”
“What?”
“We’re going to be married. I want to make you mine. Liam says I can’t touch you until I marry you, so we’re doing that as soon as possible. I don’t want to wait.” His eyes roamed my chest, making me feel exposed and dirty.
This was surreal. The man hadn’t actually asked me to marry him. He had assumed I would because my brother had told him I would. My thoughts and opinions didn’t matter to Liam or Nick. I was a piece of property being exchanged for loyalty.
I mumbled something unintelligible, pushing food around on my plate. I was doing my best to pretend to care, but I had a feeling I was failing miserably. There was no danger of me winning an award for my stellar acting abilities.
“What about next week?”
I looked up from my plate. “What?”
“I said what about next week?”
“For what?” I asked.
“To get fucking married! Haven’t you been listening to what I’ve said?” He had raised his voice, and I could feel people looking at us.
I hadn’t been listening to him. I had heard the words but had chosen to ignore them. I didn’t want to hear them. The entire time he’d been talking, my mind had been on Elijah. He was back. I had thought all those feelings I’d had for him were gone. They were not. Everything was rushing to the surface, and I realized I had never stopped loving him, even when I’d thought he was dead. How could I marry another man when Elijah was out there?
“Hey!” Nick snapped, his open hand smacking the table.
I blinked several times, focusing on the piercing green-eyed stare boring holes into me. “H-huh?” I stammered, realizing I had drifted off into my fantasy land once again.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he growled. “I’m sitting here planning our damn wedding and you act like you would rather be anywhere else but here. I don’t appreciate being ignored. My wife will damn well listen to me when I talk!”
“Oh, I, uh—”
“This is going to happen soon. I’m not going to wait around, and trust me, you’re not going to get any better than me. Get your shit together, Michelle.”
I nodded my head, his anger frightening me, reminding me of how serious the whole situation was. This wasn’t a joke. I couldn’t just ignore it and hope it went away. I was in trouble.
“I’m not feeling well,” I blurted out, the gravity of the situation slamming into me.
It was the truth. I felt horrible and wanted to vomit at the thought of marrying him and doing the things married people did. It was too much. I jumped up from the table, knocking over my empty water glass, and ran for the bathroom. I quickly shut the door and locked it, thankful it was a single bathroom and not one with several stalls. I needed the privacy to cry my eyes out.
“Michelle?” Nick’s voice came through the door.
I pretended to be getting sick, moaning and retching, and the whole time tears flowed down my face as I envisioned a life with him. In a flash of anger, I had seen the real Nick. That was the Nick I knew no matter how well he tried to disguise his true colors with his pretty boy looks. I knew Nick was a dangerous, evil man.
“You okay in there?” he asked, his voice soft and gentle.
I moaned, playing up the idea I was sick. I hated how well he could transition from good to evil and back to good. It was scary, and I was sure it was a characteristic of a sociopath. I couldn’t put my child in his house.
Thinking of Joey reminded me of Elijah. I hated that with one look at Elijah, I fell in love all over again. It wasn’t fair. Why wouldn’t my heart let me move on? I couldn’t have him. Knowing he was around was torture.
“I’ll be right here. We can go,” Nick said through the door.
I ran cold water and washed my face, smearing my makeup as I did. I looked in the mirror and knew my appearance would sell my story. I looked like hell, and I did feel miserable. It wasn’t a lie.
Opening the door, I found Nick leaning against the wall directly across from the bathroom. His arms were folded over his chest, and his look was menacing, scaring away anyone who dared to come into the small hall.
“Damn, you look like shit.”
Exactly the words every woman wanted to hear. “Thanks,” I muttered.
“I’ll take you home. Sorry about earlier. I didn’t realize you were sick,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
The gesture would have been sweet if it were truly meant to be kind. With Nick and his buddies, it was a sign of possession. Anyone who looked at me would be glared at. I hated it. I wanted to shrug away from him but knew better. I had dodged a bullet with my feigned sickness. I couldn’t push my luck.
He helped me onto the back of his bike before driving me home and walking me to the front door. When Nick was the perfect gentleman, it was easy to like him. I wished like hell the man I was seeing right now was his true character. I could have dealt with this person. I didn’t think I could have loved him, but we could have had a friendly marriage.
Nick stopped the bike and helped me climb off, taking my hand as we walked through the weed-filled yard. Liam was not happy to see us home so early.
“What the hell happened?” he said, not bothering to get up from the couch where he was drinking a beer. The look on his face was murderous. “Did you give her the ring? She give you shit about it?”
I hated the way he talked about me as if I wasn’t standing right there. I had left the ring on the table when I’d
run to the bathroom. It would have been nice if it had been forgotten.
Nick pulled it out of his leather jacket. “Got it right here.”
I cringed, hoping he wouldn’t ask me to put it on. I was convinced I really would throw up if he tried to put that thing on my finger.
“Well? Why isn’t she wearing it?” he asked Nick, but he was glaring at me.
“She’s sick. Threw up in the bathroom. Never even got to eat,” Nick said, complaining.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
Nick turned to face me, looking down at me and smiling. “Get some rest. We’ll talk about the wedding when you’re feeling better. I’m sorry I got pissed earlier. I thought you were ignoring me or something. Maybe we can go out tomorrow?”
I shrugged a shoulder, not committing to anything.
“Yeah. She’ll be fine by tomorrow,” Liam said. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“Good night,” I muttered, escaping the room before he could try to kiss me again.
I checked on Joey, saw he was already in bed, and headed for my room, locking the door behind me. I didn’t want Liam coming in and bitching at me for getting sick on what he was convinced was a big night for me. I hadn’t taken the ring from Nick. The second I did, I knew I would be forced to wear it. I couldn’t deal with the idea of being connected to him.
As I lay in bed, all I could think about was Elijah. I replayed every moment of the brief time we’d had together at the diner. He was gorgeous. I had always remembered him being hot as hell. It hadn’t been a youthful fantasy. He was that good looking, and age had only made him better. He was a lot more muscular than he had been back then. His hair was cut short, revealing those dark, bushy eyebrows that made his blue eyes appear as blue as sapphires.
He had the same familiar rough edge and he certainly hadn’t softened physically. I wondered what it would be like to kiss him, to have his arms around me, cradling me against his body and blocking out all the stress and fear that tended to hang like a cloak around me in my daily life.
I realized, in that moment, I would always love him. It wasn’t a teen fantasy. It was the real thing. Elijah would always be the man I longed for. Fate could be so cruel.
8
Elijah
I couldn’t quite bring myself to take action against Liam. I had all the information I needed to act but seeing Michelle had thrown me off. I had thought I could handle seeing her and stick to my plan. I wasn’t quite so sure now. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew there was a good chance my plan would have some repercussions, including me dying. I had been prepared to die as long as it meant I got to give Liam what he had coming.
Once I made my move, that was it. I would have no reason to stick around. I didn’t know if Michelle would remain loyal to Liam or be grateful for what I was going to do. I was dragging my feet, hoping for another chance to talk to her. In a perfect world, I would handle Liam and his buddies and then Michelle and I could run away together. We could start over and leave this whole LA business behind.
I knew what was on the table. I had come to terms with the possible outcomes. After seeing Michelle, I wasn’t quite as convinced that death was an option I was willing to consider. If there was any chance I could be with her again, I wanted to take it. Everything was different after five minutes with her.
Sitting in the hard chair in the motel room, I stared at the black screen of the television. My head was a mess. I needed to get my shit together, and there was only one person I knew who could help me do that.
“Trevor.” I said his name when he answered the phone, immediately feeling grounded just from hearing his smooth, deep voice.
“What’s up?” he asked, his voice serious. “Do you need help?”
“No. Not yet. I need to get my head screwed on straight,” I said, admitting I was losing focus.
“You saw her.” He said it as a statement, not asking. “I told you to stay away from her. Women like that have a way of getting under your skin, in your blood, and you can never be free of them.”
I let out a sigh. “Yes, I saw her. I had to. I couldn’t be this close and not see her.”
“I knew you would. What happened?” He groaned. “Did you sleep with her?”
“Nothing happened. I only got to see her for a couple minutes. Her brother called and she took off before we got a chance to really talk. You should have seen her face. She was terrified. I hate that she’s been living in fear this whole time. He’s got her under his control.”
“You knew that was a possibility,” he said.
“I did, but seeing it makes it all so much more real. I want to annihilate him,” I growled.
“Watch what you’re saying over the phone.”
“I know, I know,” I mumbled, properly chastised.
Trevor was silent for a moment. “Seeing her, knowing what you already suspected, how does that change things?”
“I think there’s a chance we could be together,” I confessed, not the least bit ashamed to admit I was still carrying a torch for Michelle. Trevor knew everything about me. He knew how broken I’d been physically and mentally when I’d shown up in San Francisco. He was the one who had helped put me back together.
“Elijah, you went there for one reason. You and I both know what happens if you lose your head. He’ll kill you. Figure out what’s more important to you—her or him.”
“I know. I’m trying. I want both.”
“Life doesn’t work out that way. If it did, there wouldn’t be any need for fairy tales and those stupid chick flicks,” he mumbled.
“It isn’t right,” I whined, feeling like a petulant child.
“Get your shit together and quit whining. Do it or don’t—that’s your choice. I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you don’t completely believe in, but don’t hang out down there and think everything will be okay. It won’t. You’re playing with fire.”
It was exactly what I had needed to hear. Before calling, I’d known what he would say, and I had told myself the same thing, but hearing the words, getting that confirmation, helped.
“Thanks.”
“Check in. Keep your head in the game.”
I hung up, then got out of the chair before dropping to the floor to do some push-ups. It was a little difficult to train when I couldn’t go to a gym or do much of anything without my helmet on. The mini workout helped me focus.
With my head clear, I knew what I had to do. After a quick shower, I headed to the diner. Immediately, I spotted Rayne and waited until she finished with her table before making my way to her.
“What are you doing here? You’re becoming a little too predictable. You’re asking for a world of trouble.”
“I need to see her.”
“You know it’s too dangerous, and not just for you. If Liam finds out she’s meeting with you…”
She left the sentence unfinished. She didn’t have to tell me what would happen. I knew. I had lived it once already.
I pulled my sunglasses down, letting her see how serious I was. I knew I could be intimidating and used it to my advantage.
“Fine.” She looked away. “She asked me to call her if you showed up. She wants to see you too. You both are acting crazy and you’re going to get yourselves killed.”
I grinned. “Then make the call, Rayne, and let us worry about getting killed.”
She grumbled under her breath as she walked away.
Moving back to the same booth Michelle and I had sat in before, I waited. I was thrilled to know she wanted to see me as well. I wanted to believe it was because she still had feelings for me.
I looked up to find Rayne standing next to the table looking none too pleased. She put down a glass of ice water on the table. “She said to give her thirty minutes.”
I nodded in understanding. “Thank you, Rayne. I’ll take care of her.”
“I hope you can.”
She walked away, and I was left to wait out Michelle’s arrival all alone. I was anxious an
d a little nervous to know why she wanted to see me. It wasn’t long before I heard the door open. Looking up, I saw her walking toward me. Her beauty once again took my breath away. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts that made her legs look longer than they were. I couldn’t look away. I didn’t care if the things I was thinking were plain as day on my face. I wouldn’t apologize for wanting her.
“Hi,” Michelle said, sliding into the booth across from me.
“Hi.”
She looked around. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Better than sitting here where anybody could walk in and see us.”
I briefly thought about taking her back to my motel room, but I couldn’t take that risk. I wasn’t sure Michelle wouldn’t betray me. Liam could be persuasive. I didn’t want to put her in the position where she had to try to lie.
“My bike?”
She shook her head. “My car.”
“Okay.” I agreed, anxious to be alone with her.
She walked out. I waited a couple minutes before following her and quickly getting in the passenger seat of her car, my dark sunglasses on and the baseball cap I had picked up a few days ago pulled low over my eyes. Neither of us talked while she took a few back roads out of town. The tension between us was making me crazy. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to taste her lips on my own. The memories weren’t enough.
“Where are we going?” I asked, suddenly worried I was being set up.
“It’s a little place I like to go to where Liam can’t find me.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes.”
I stayed quiet, paying attention to where we were going, not interested in getting ambushed again.
We drove for about fifteen minutes. She took a turn down a dirt road and then another before parking in the middle of nowhere in a hilly area surrounded by trees. There were few places around LA that were truly private.
Men in Charge: A Contemporary Romance Box Set Page 26
