by Tee, Marian
Other people lost the ones they loved to death. Other people lost the ones they loved to war, to slavery, to prison.
She had not lost anything or anyone – she had only lost her heart.
Drake spoke again. “Make your decision or I’ll make it for you. Either way, you need to settle this now.”
Mairi forced herself to open her eyes. “Outside.” Her voice was thin. “I don’t want Damen Leventis taking one step inside my home.”
~ Eleven ~
All breath was knocked out of Damen when the door opened and the stranger he saw on television stepped out…and he was holding Mairi’s hand.
As the door closed behind them silently, the man escorted Mairi to the other side of the brightly lit porch. Light from all corners beamed down, allowing Damen to see her completely even as rain and the heavy darkness of a moon-less night shrouded them.
Mairi unconsciously held on more tightly to Drake as she found the guts to meet Damen Leventis’ gaze. He had changed so much. His beauty did always have a cruel feel to it, but now the thinness of his face made that cruelty blatant. There was something different about him, something subtle but important, and yet she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.
Did he seem less arrogant? But how could that be? This was Damen Leventis, the Greek billionaire who had it all. The one man she had ever loved, the one man whom she had given the power to hurt her. Again and again.
“Mairi.”
Damen’s voice made her inhale hard. It was a voice that she hoped to never hear again. But she had, and that voice alone made every despicable and humiliating memory of their last time together come back.
“Get out of my fucking house, you gold-digging bitch.”
“I can’t believe I chose you over a real lady like Alina.”
“Go back to Manolis, he can have my leftovers.”
“I had you in every way.”
“I’m sorry, Mairi.” The words sounded like they were ripped out of him. And that was fine, really, since hearing those words made her feel like he was trying to rip her heart into pieces once more. With those words, Mairi knew three things.
She still loved him.
She would always love Damen Leventis.
But she could never go back to him because this soon, he was already destroying her.
For a moment, the whole world failed to register in Damen’s consciousness. In that single moment all that existed was Mairi, the woman he had hurt over and over to his everlasting regret – and the woman he knew he would never stop loving.
She had changed into more casual clothes, wearing an oversized college sweater and denim shorts. Her hair was tied up, but several locks of hair had again escaped its hold, framing her delicate face. Her eyes were large and luminous as they slowly met Damen’s, with too many emotions for Damen to read. But the rest of her face was expressionless, and he could only rely on the tense posture of her body to gauge her mood.
He also noted that she was gripping the stranger’s hand rather tightly, and the sight of those entwined fingers was like a dart dipped in acid striking Damen’s heart.
No.
He wanted to roar his denial and protest.
Mairi could not…
Mairi would not…
He didn’t want to believe it.
But then the stranger moved again, pulling Mairi close to his side, his fingers unclasping from Mairi’s to curve around her waist. His hand rested on her hip, fingers splayed on her skin as if branding her.
Denial turned into a terrible sense of dread inside Damen as he waited for Mairi to move away, to stop another man from touching her like this, but with each second that passed, Damen’s hopes began to crumble.
The stranger pulled Mairi closer to him, and this time the side of her breasts pressed against the side of his chest.
And yet Mairi did not say a word, did not move an inch, did not give Damen anything to cling to so that he could believe he had not completely lost her.
Finally, he dragged his gaze away from where Mairi’s body was connected with another man. Finally, Damen found the strength to look into her eyes, those wondrously expressive eyes that could never lie to him.
And in those eyes, he saw the truth.
Mairi had given herself to another man.
No. No. No. He wanted to deny the reality he saw in Mairi’s eyes, but he had never been one to lie to himself. He had a feeling he would never want to sleep again. If he did, he was damn sure he would have nightmares about this, and there would come a day when the pain would eat him alive and he would never wake again.
He did not think he would even dare close his eyes.
If he did—
If he did—
Goddammit, if he did, his sick and twisted mind would not have any difficulty picturing Mairi, his lovely Mairi, in another man’s bed. Her naked form, once a sight that was exclusively his, being feasted upon by another man’s hungry eyes. Her generous curves, once familiar only with his touch, being caressed by another man’s hands. Her silken limbs, those gorgeous long legs of hers, wrapped around another man’s hips, her tender and sensitive flesh that had only ever known his cock welcoming another man’s possession—
Goddammit, he would die of jealousy.
And he only had himself to blame because he had forced her into this.
“Mairi.” Damen wanted to say so many things, so many damn things, but his voice broke at the end.
The way Damen suddenly blanched, a sick look falling on his face, made Mairi cry out.
Never. Never. Never would she forget that look on his face the moment Damen Leventis realized that she no longer belonged to him.
Mairi felt herself drowning under a powerful flood of guilt, resentment, and pain – so much pain that she wondered how it could have all fit inside without her body exploding. That look on his face made her feel so cheap. Would this feeling ever stop? Did it mean she was never meant to be with Damen Leventis because she would always feel like she didn’t deserve to be with him?
Maybe, she thought hysterically, maybe that really was how this was supposed to end.
“His name is Drake,” she heard herself saying.
Damen stiffened.
At her side, Drake’s head snapped towards her.
“He’s been living with me for a week.”
A sound of raw agony spilled out of Damen’s throat, and she knew that he was imagining the worst, knew that he was thinking she had spent every second of that week in Drake’s arms, allowing the other man all the liberties that only Damen had once possessed.
He was imagining exactly what she wanted him to think. Mairi needed him to think it was like that because she knew now that she would never be able to leave him, not even when she knew that she hadn’t been the one to betray him. He was the one who betrayed her with Alina, but her heart didn’t care – wouldn’t ever care.
Because she loved him.
Her love for him was an ugly and unbreakable chain that she would never be free from.
But there was still hope.
All she had to do was destroy Damen, and he would destroy them both.
“And when he asked if I wanted him…” She swallowed hard, and then she raised her chin and said hoarsely, “When Drake asked me if I wanted him to make me come—”
“DON’T SAY ANOTHER WORD.” Pain so great it was indescribable crossed Damen’s face.
“I told him—”
Damen whitened. “Goddammit, please, I’m begging you, don’t say it.”
Something inside her broke down at the realization that Damen was begging her. Greek billionaires were not supposed to beg. It was always supposed to be the other way around, and Mairi shook her head wildly, as if by doing so she could deny what was happening and keep pretending that he was the same cold-hearted man who threw her out of his house.
“I said YES—”
“Shut up,” he snarled. A white line had formed around Damen’s mouth as he used every bit of his contro
l not to lose himself in despair and rage.
Mairi didn’t tear her gaze off him. “I said yes,” she repeated.
“SHUT UP—”
“And he touched my breasts, fucked me with—”
Damen could no longer take it. “NO.” He stalked towards her, but before he could take another step, Drake’s security came out of nowhere. Men were suddenly holding him back, and that was when he lost it.
“Let go of me!” Damen was strong, but there were seven men holding him back, and his frustration and rage grew as he found himself unable to escape them. His gaze sought Mairi, and his heart splintered when he saw she was crying.
It had killed him to hear her say that, but seeing her cry so hard, he knew those words had not come without cost to her. It had killed her, too.
“I don’t care who you fucked,” he rasped. “Because that’s all it could ever be.”
“Stop it.” She didn’t want him to understand. She wanted him to hate her so they could be over.
“When it’s the two of us—” His voice thickened, and again he struggled against the men holding him, every instinct in him directing Damen to hold Mairi. Couldn’t they damn well see that she was hurting? “We make love, Mairi,” he said gutturally. “And that’s what matters. That’s what always will matter.” He let out a strangled breath. “I love you—”
“Shut up!” Mairi covered her ears. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP—”
“I love you.” He repeated the words fiercely. “I will always love you. I fucked up, but you know – goddammit, you know I fucked up because I love you too much—”
Mairi shook her head wildly. She looked at Drake, begging, “Please. I don’t want this anymore.”
When Drake started to speak, she was afraid he would still want her to be strong, to do things on her own, but instead his voice was gentle as he said, “I understand.” He pulled her towards him.
When Damen saw Drake stroke her hair, saw the tenderness in that touch and knew that whatever or whoever the man was, he was not completely immune to Mairi – that was when he forgot all about being rational. He forgot about everything except for one thing: he would never let anyone take Mairi away from him.
“LET GO OF HER!” Terror over losing Mairi had taken a life of its own and it possessed him like a dark spirit. Damen went wild, overthrowing those who held him.
Drake pushed Mairi swiftly behind him. “Stay there.”
Mairi was wide-eyed, unable to believe the havoc Damen was creating. She had always known he was strong – she had seen how vigorously he worked out in the past, but this was…this felt like something else had taken over Damen. He had just managed to overthrow two of his guards, and he was in process of doing the same to the third.
“Release him,” Drake commanded as he took off his jacket and threw it to the ground. He did not pause in his stride as he did, and he kept his gaze on the Greek man the entire time.
His men immediately let go of Damen.
“You know there’s a restraining order against you, Leventis. You’re already in violation of it, so if you know what’s good for you, you’re going to leave.”
A restraining order? Against Damen? For who? Her? Mairi tried to take a step towards Damen, needing to clarify everything, but two of Drake’s men suddenly moved towards her, blocking Mairi’s path.
Damen saw everything that was happening, saw the fear and confusion register on Mairi’s face, and he snarled. “If you dare hurt her, you will pay for it.”
“Stay there, Mairi. My men are also officers of the law and they’re only doing their duty by keeping you from Leventis.”
Drake’s words were nearly incomprehensible. Too many things were happening and they were happening too fast. Mairi looked at the expressionless men that had retreated at her side. She knew that if she took another step towards Damen, they would block her path again.
Slowly, she glanced back at Damen. He was breathing hard, his body taut, and he was wiping away blood from a small cut on the corner of his mouth. It was her first time to notice the wound, and the sight of Damen bleeding suddenly made everything excruciatingly real. She wanted to cry. She hadn’t wanted this. She hadn’t wanted him to be hurt. She didn’t want anyone to be hurt because of her. She was so tired, so damn exhausted at the way everything seemed to fall apart around them when she and Damen were together.
Unbidden, she whispered, “Damen—”
Damen stiffened, and when he looked at Mairi, his heart shattered. She was looking at him like she did not want him anymore, and now more than anything, Damen knew that it could be permanent. With another man to love her and make Mairi forget that she had loved Damen first, with another man to make Mairi realize that there were so many men who were more deserving of her love – there was every chance that if he let go of Mairi now, she would be gone. Forever.
“Don’t say it,” he said harshly.
She shook her head, the tears streaking down her face. “I can’t do this anymore. We can’t be together and not hurt each other, not hurt other people—”
“I LOVE YOU,” he roared.
She sobbed harder at the words. “You love me, but you threw me away! You sent me to jail. To jail, Damen! Like I’m some thief who stole a space in your bed, and when you had enough of me you – y-you made the police take me away.”
“Because I had it all wrong,” he whispered in agonized regret. “I had it all wrong and I know it now. There were so many things, Mairi…so many things that I thought I knew but didn’t. My greatest mistake was not trusting you, but I trust you now. I trust you with my life, I trust you with everything, and I will never doubt you again.”
He took a step forward.
Drake stiffened. “Do not take another step, Leventis. I won’t give you another warning. I have the legal authority to beat you into a bloody pulp if you try to come near Mairi.”
Damen did not pay the other man any heed. All he had eyes for was Mairi, and he offered everything in him, his fucking heart on a platter, his soul, his life – his eyes told Mairi that he was giving everything to her as he said bleakly, “Whether you’re mine or not, I will always be yours.”
He took another step.
Drake’s fist struck out, connecting hard enough with his face to make Damen’s head snap to the side.
“No,” Mairi screamed. She tried to run towards the two, but again the men at her side moved, holding her back. Damen had swiftly gotten up to fight, giving it as good as he got, but it was clear for everyone to see that although Damen was a strong fighter, he was no match for someone who had been trained to kill.
“Stop it, Drake, please!” She screamed again as another of Drake’s powerful punches knocked Damen to the ground.
“Tell your ex-fiancé not to pursue you anymore and I’ll stop.”
“Never,” Damen snarled as he forced himself to get up.
“Damen, please,” Mairi sobbed. “Please just leave—” She screamed again and she tried harder, tried with all her might to get free from Drake’s guards when she saw Damen had been knocked down for the third time. His lip was badly cut and bleeding profusely, and one of his eyes was swollen.
“Please, Damen,” she whispered. “Please just leave.”
“You heard the lady, Leventis.”
Damen shook his head. His body ached all over, but he didn’t give a damn, and his face remained cold as he looked at the other man. “We can do this again and again, but I won’t give her up.” He came to his feet.
Mairi’s voice had become hoarse. “Drake, please stop.”
“It’s his call, Mairi.”
Her eyes swung wildly to Damen, and the swollen and bruised face made Mairi lose all color. “Why are you doing this?” she whispered. “Can’t you see? It won’t work between us.”
“I love you.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but Drake cut her off, his head whipping towards her. His voice was bland, but his gaze was icily challenging when he asked softly, “Are you go
ing to believe him again, Mairi? After what you learned today? Your body was mine last night. And his body…”
Had belonged to Alina.
The pain of those words, of the pictures it invoked in her mind, made Mairi cry out.
While she had been hurting, he had been with Alina.
While she had cried for him, another girl was crying out his name in his bed.
While she had loved him, he had loved Alina’s body with his.
Her eyes closed, and the tears fell quietly.
Damen didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t understand a damn thing that Drake had said, but he knew that Mairi was hurt – so goddamn hurt that she looked like she had just been through hell. “Mairi?” She didn’t answer. His voice became frantic. “Mairi, answer me.” But still she didn’t answer. It was as if he no longer existed for her.
“MAIRI, ANSWER ME!”
But she only shook her head, the tears still falling silently.
His voice broke. He was losing her. He really was losing her. “I love you,” he said fiercely. “I know I fucked up so many times, but I fucked up because of love and that love will always be there for you.”
Drake’s tone was cutting as he said, “Give it up, Leventis. You lost.”
He said seriously, “You’d have to kill me first.”
And then he took a swing at Drake’s face, this time giving it all he had, this time hitting the other man as if he wanted to kill Drake. And maybe he did. For Drake was doing the same thing by taking Mairi away from Damen. Mairi was his life. Without her, his life was worthless.
The fight might have lasted for minutes or just mere seconds. It didn’t matter. Soon, blood covered Damen’s entire field of vision, and he was down on his knees when Drake’s last punch threw him to the ground. The last thing he saw was Mairi turning her back on him.
“Mairi.” It hurt to speak, but he had to call out to her, had to beg for her to come back, to forgive him and let him love her.
But she didn’t stop.
She left.
And he was all alone.
